


Driving out the Darkness

by 2WhoR1 (SnilyAlways775344), SnilyAlways775344



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dry Humping, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Sex, Stalking, pregnancy mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 116,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22586056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnilyAlways775344/pseuds/2WhoR1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnilyAlways775344/pseuds/SnilyAlways775344
Summary: Ben Solo is an actor currently shooting a film.  Rey is hired as set photographer.  Rey has a traumatic past that makes her wary of men, except Ben.  All of Ben's protective instincts towards Rey are tripped, even more so when increasingly dangerous things begin happening to Rey.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Phasma, Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 118
Kudos: 171





	1. Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, obviously, I know nothing of how a movie set is run, so I'm taking lots of liberties there. This is the first Reylo story I've written so I may or may not have these characters "in-character". I want to thank Dandi White for reading through this and telling me it was actually good. I also want to thank seduff from tumblr (creativity & nonsense) for the picture of the Ben Solo movie poster that I used in my mood board. The rest of the board is my work. Hope you all enjoy my little story.

**_Trust I seek and I find in you …_ **

**_\--Nothing Else Matters, Metallica_ **

Rey followed her boss, Marcos Santos, somewhat tentatively as they walked around the movie set. Marcos was a beefy man with no neck and hard eyes. He had this way of looking at Rey that made her very nervous. But then, big men made her anxious anyway, thanks to her ex-boyfriend Kylen Wren, a greedy SOB who happened to be at the top of First Order, an electronics and technology conglomerate. Wren had anger issues, something Rey had discovered quickly but thought she could save him so stayed by his side. In the end, she had been the one needing saving. After that, she’d moved to the west coast, had begun to make a name for herself in her field of photography, which was what she was doing on this massive-scale set. She had yet to meet any of the actors or actresses but knew that was only a matter of time. Nervously patting at the two cameras she wore criss-cross over her torso, each sporting a long lens, she chanted in her mind _I can do this_ while taking in all the details of the current set.

“Ah, perfect. Might as well start with the star.”

Rey whipped her head around to see them approaching the most promising up-and-coming actor in Hollywood. Ben Solo. She really hadn’t seen much of his work, hadn’t had the free time to indulge in movies, so she didn’t know what to expect from a movie star, except for a cocky attitude. All she could see of him was his back as he sat, chatting with someone. Well, his back, his broad shoulders, and shoulder-length hair the color of a raven’s wing.

“Ben? Might I have a moment of your time?”

The man in question turned his head in their direction and Rey caught her breath. Eyes the color of melted chocolate met her hazel ones before flicking up to Marcos. Rey continued to study Ben, her photographer’s eye taking in the lovely bone structure of his face, his strong nose, and full lips. Her hands itched to grab a camera and start snapping away at the lovely piece of art before her. Perhaps this job wouldn’t be so bad after all if she could photograph _him_ all day.

Then, he stood, and Rey’s heart skipped a beat, panic threatening to seize her. Before she could stop herself, she took a step back. Ben Solo _towered_ over her and she wasn’t that short. Rey completely missed whatever Marcos was saying about her, his voice sounding strangely muted, as she repeated in her head _Breathe. In. Out. In. Out._ By the time she settled her heart into something close to a normal rate, Ben was turning his attention back to her and offering her a soft smile, his hand out in greeting. 

Swallowing with a bit of difficulty, Rey licked her lips and forced herself to take his hand with a smile. “Sorry that my hand is cold. They’re always cold.” _Real smooth, Rey. Way to sound confident._

Marcos patted her shoulder, which Rey unobstrusively slid away from. Her boss didn’t seem to notice. “Well, Rey, this is where I leave you.” He looked down at her with a barely concealed sneer. “You’d best give me the quality I want. You came so _highly_ recommended.”

Rey briefly glanced up at the man, edging farther away from him. “Yes, sir. You will.”

Blessedly, Marcos left and Rey turned her attention back to the man in front of her - and realized he still held her hand in his. Swallowed it, really. Heat flooding her cheeks, she snatched her hand back, clearing her throat a little. Unable to meet Ben Solo’s gaze, she looked around, sizing up what would photograph best.

“First time on a movie set?”

The deep, soft, mellow voice drew her eyes back to him. It washed over her like a warm blanket on a cold day, soothing her nerves instantly. This time, the smile she gave him was more natural. “That obvious, huh? I can’t wait to get started, though. I can already envision some great shots.”

“In that case, let’s go.”

Wait, what? Did he say what she thought he said? “I’m sorry, what?”

Ben Solo gave her a little sideways nod of his head. “I’ll show you around. Filming’s been delayed for a bit. I’m just sitting doing nothing.” He, then, gave her this puppy-dog look that Rey couldn’t imagine another actor pulling. “Please?”

At a loss as to what to say, she simply stared. “Uh, Mr. Solo, I - ”

“Please. It’s Ben, Ms. Lo. We’re pretty much a big family around here.” He tilted his head a little as he contemplated her. “Unusual name. Professional one?”

Rey cocked her own head as she looked up at him. “Solo. Unusual name. Is that your real one?” _Oh my God, did I just ask that? How rude! I should apologize._

Instead of looking offended, his full lips stretched wide in a smile that Rey itched to capture in her lens. “Touché. Believe it or not, Ms. Lo, it _is_ my real name.”

“I’m sorry. That was rude of me. If I’m to call you Ben, then you should call me Rey. Lo is just a shortened version of my last name.” She added after a moment, stressing the last syllable, “It’s really Loess.” She snorted in disdain as she explained the change. “I found I got further with a male-sounding name than I did with my real one.” Ben’s smile melted away, his brow furrowing. Fearing she’d said too much, Rey rushed out, “Don’t mind me. So, about that tour … ”

Ben’s expression cleared. He lifted one of those large, elegant hands to touch her elbow. “Right. Let’s go, then.”

Normally, she didn’t like being touched by men, but there was something … safe … about Ben Solo, but Rey couldn’t understand why she should feel that way. Shrugging to herself, she allowed him to lead her around, pointing out different things, introducing her to other staff and a few of the cast. His voice. Oh, how she could listen to that voice all day long! Deep silk. That’s how she’d attempt to describe it if she had to. Even that didn’t do it justice. _Not_ that she’d be describing his voice to anyone. Maybe she could use her camera to capture it. She snuck a peek up at Ben and gasped. He’d just stepped into a swath of early sunlight that bathed half his face in golden light, casting opposing shadows that set his bone structure off in perfect relief.

Stepping in front of him, one hand outstretched, the other reaching for her camera, she said, “Don’t move!”

Through her lens, Rey captured the angles of Ben’s cheekbones, the curve of his lips, his jutting jawline. The warm light accented his straight nose and brought a whisky highlight to his dark brown eyes. Lost in the moment, she clicked away from every angle she could reach. The change in the lighting clued her in to how long she’d held Ben captive. Mortified, she lowered her camera and her eyes, gulping, fiddling needlessly with the lens. She waited with bated breath, shoulders slightly hunched, for the explosion of temper that was sure to come after having wasted his time. Why? Why did she always do stupid stuff like this?

“Rey?”

Oh, God, that softness. It brought tears to her eyes. She was done before she’d started, she just knew it. One word from Ben Solo and she would be out. It would be her own fault. She wouldn’t blame him in the least. From the corner of her eye, she saw a hand reach out and couldn’t stop herself from flinching. Humiliated, Rey took a step back, still unable to look up, unwilling to see the irritation, the disdain that would likely be there. Her heart pounded and she had to fight the rising waves of panic that threatened to seize her.

“Rey?” Ben asked, drawing out her name in little more than a whisper.

Maybe if she begged, he wouldn’t complain to her boss. Finally, she met Ben’s eyes, her words coming out in a rush. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t say anything. I need this job. I didn’t mean to waste your time like that. I just get so carried away sometimes. It’s a fault of mine. Please. I’ll do better. I’ll stay completely out of your way. I promise.”

Ben held his hands out to her. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rey, breathe.”

The instant his fingers touched her arms, something inside snapped. She had to get away before she made a bigger fool of herself. Rey backed up another step. “I - I have to go. I’ll, uh, see you around. Maybe.”

Whirling, Rey dashed off, ignoring Ben calling her name.

BR

Ben watched the young woman run off, confused as to what just happened. The anxiety in her pretty hazel eyes floored him. The fear, the panic he’d heard in her voice shook him. His eyes narrowed as he remembered how she’d stepped back from him when they’d first met. Not to mention the way she’d reacted to Marcos’ hand on her shoulder. Something wasn’t right there. And then, her practical meltdown. All because of her passion for her work? He truly hadn’t minded the attention, which was quite unusual for him. It was refreshing to see someone so involved in their craft that they lost themselves in it. He could certainly relate. When he received a script and agreed to sign on to the project, he often threw himself into the role, digesting everything about it, examining the character from every angle to make sure he was portrayed in the best way possible for each scene.

He should go after her, make certain she was okay. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t care. It meant one less camera to worry about, but there was something about Rey that pulled at him. He couldn’t get the look of panic in those lovely green eyes with their golden brown flecks out of his mind. Rey was certainly full of contradictions. Apparently, he wasn’t the only person who played a role well. He had a distinct feeling that _confident photographer_ was the role she played and _anxious Rey_ was the real person, the one he felt a need to get to know.

Ben had only taken three steps in the direction Rey had disappeared when a familiar voice called out. “Ben! You’re needed on set! They’re ready to start filming!”

Well, _fuck_ ! Ben remained where he was, warring with himself over what he should do. He had no idea where this need to check on Rey came from, but it was stronger than it should be. On the other hand, he had never wanted to be one of those actors who made everyone wait for _him_ , one of those who believed _he’d_ decide when it was time to start filming. Running a hand over his face, Ben sighed heavily through his nose. He didn’t have a choice, really. Despite his personal feelings, work came first. It had to. Walking away in the opposite direction was one of the hardest things he’d ever made himself do.

At some point between takes, he noticed Rey had shown up, though she never looked his way. He needed to talk to her, but the way she kept herself separate from everyone, hiding behind her lens, shouted to him that was as unlikely as it was for Los Angeles to suddenly develop a snowstorm - in July. He had to try, didn’t he? Or, was he much better off just letting things go? Why did he even care? He’d never been overly fond of set photographers before, so why now? Especially not the one who had just recently left. What was it about Rey that _made_ him care? The only question he had an answer for was the first one. Yes, he had to try. He just didn’t realize he would be trying for two whole days before the first opportunity landed in his lap.

BR

  
  


Ben arrived at the set just before sunup. He wasn’t filming that day, but he knew Rey would be around. She loved the golden quality of light as the sun just began peeking over the horizon if that short walk with him had been any indication. So, here he was, on his day off, wandering the set and hoping to come across the one person he truly wanted to see. As luck would have it, Ben spotted her at one of the outdoor sets, lying on her stomach, ankles crossed, weight on her elbows as she captured the golden rays glinting off one of the movie vehicles. Seeing her brought a full smile to his lips.

Armed with the knowledge his detective friend, Tage Hux, had discovered concerning one Rey Lo, photographer, he approached her at an angle so he would be visible in her peripheral vision. He also made certain to drag his feet on the ground a bit. The last thing he wanted was to completely spook her. After what he’d learned - admittedly not much detail but enough to get the gist - he imagined just his size was enough to make her uneasy. No wonder she had stepped away from him that first day. When he was still several steps away from her, he knelt on the hard, dusty ground, one knee upraised, his chin resting on it, and waited for her to acknowledge his presence. She knew he was there; he’d seen her tense up.

His patience was rewarded when she softly said, “I didn’t think you were filming today.”

Matching her tone, Ben replied, “I’m not. I wanted to see you.” That actually got her to meet his gaze, if only momentarily. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Rey let out a little sigh and fiddled with her camera. “About the other day. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so engrossed in what I was doing, and I certainly didn’t mean to freak out on you. I, uh, appreciate you not mentioning anything to Marcos. I’ll figure out some way to return the favor.”

“Rey, I’m not here for apologies. You don’t owe me anything. I really didn’t mind standing still for you because it meant I was given the chance to watch you work, to see the passion you have for what you do. That was a treat, believe it or not. I come across a lot of people who are just in my line of work for the money. It was nice to see someone get so caught up in what they’re doing that the outside world simply fades away. I’m the same way.”

Her gaze returned to his, no doubt analyzing everything he’d just said, searching for falsehoods. Progress. She wouldn’t find any lies in what he’d said. 

“It’s nice of you say, but - ”

“It’s simply the truth, Rey.” This time, Ben looked away first. He couldn’t believe what he was about to admit, but if it helped her be more comfortable around him, then it would be worth it. “I’m not, uh, like how the papers and the news like to portray me. The only time I ever feel in my element is when I’m in front of the camera and sometimes not even then. I tend to get in my own head and second guess how I do things. I’m a complete nerd. If you get me started discussing _Firefly_ , you’ll never get me to shut up.” Ben chuckled softly, gaze still averted from Rey. “I even went to a comic con once dressed as Jayne - and you probably have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about.”

To his shock, Rey proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was wrong. “Kaylee was my favorite. I always felt she was underappreciated, for the most part. They could have done so much more with her than they did. And I, kind of, rooted for her and Mal to get together.”

Once his shock wore off, Ben let out a full laugh. “Thank you! I’d always thought that, too. It just seemed so cliche to put Mal, the plain captain, and Inara, the exotic character, together. I also agree with you about Kaylee. It seemed she was always left on the sidelines while everyone else was out doing their thing. I wish the show had lasted longer.”

“Me, too. Is that why you took this role?” Rey waved a hand at the futuristic vehicles she had been photographing. “I can’t help but see the parallels.”

Ben shrugged, more than a little pleased she was relaxing around him. “It probably had a small influence, yes.” He laughed again when her brows rose as if she didn’t believe that for a second. “Okay, a large influence, then. The story’s good, though. If it weren’t for that, I probably would have passed.”

Her gaze skimmed his black jeans, gray t-shirt and sneakers. “You’re definitely not what I expected.”

Ben shook his head, faking an expression of pity. “Oh, Rey, you have no idea.” His lips curled into another full grin. “What else can I tell you? Let’s see, if I could eat one thing all the time, it would be nachos. Love them. Any way you want to make them, I’ll eat them. Chips. Beef. Refried beans. Cheese. Sour cream. Onions. Tomatoes. Black Olives. Black beans. Jalapenos. Salsa. Doesn’t matter.”

Rey’s little laugh wrapped around him and buried itself somewhere around his heart. “What? No guac?”

“Uh, no. You can keep that nasty stuff to yourself. Okay, so, maybe not _any_ way you want to make them, but still. Let’s see, what else? You can’t go wrong with pizza.” Ben scrunched his nose in distaste. “Unless you’re one of those who puts all those healthy greens and such on it. In my opinion, what would be the point? Pizza is _meant_ to be unhealthy.”

Rey’s brows lifted again. “You really eat like that?”

“If I could, I would. But, no. I don’t get treated like that often. Can’t afford to gain too much weight.”

When Rey sat up and faced him, Ben had to grip his leg tightly to keep from pumping his fist victoriously. If they were going to be around each other a lot, he needed her to be comfortable with him. Apparently, baring his soul had been the way to go.

“Do you have any favorite movies?” he asked, just to keep the conversation going.

“I do. Two, and they’re both older ones. _Dead Poets Society_ and _Ladyhawke_.”

Who was this girl? How in the hell did she know about _Ladyhawke_ ? That had to have been way before her time. _Dead Poets Society_ , too, really. What were the odds he’d come across someone who had the same unusual favorites as he did?

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Rey looked a bit offended. “I’m not. Why? Why is that so hard for you to believe? They’re good movies!”

Ben held up a hand in supplication. “I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just, I don’t find many people whose favorites are some of the older classics. _Dead Poet Society_ was Robin Williams’ best work. It was a sad day when the world lost his comic genius. And _Ladyhawke_ ? The acting was great. The cinematography was superb. The camera angles, like from inside Navarre’s helmet at the end, was genius. The horses were gorgeous. There was ro - uh, sword fights and a bit of dark humor. What _wasn’t_ there to love about it?”

Rey’s eyes lit up, her lips spreading wide, and Ben knew she’d caught his slip-up. “Ben Solo, are you an animal lover and closet romantic?”

Sheepishly, Ben grinned, fully aware his face was probably glowing if the heat in his cheeks was any indication. “Guilty as charged.”

“Don’t worry. Your secrets are safe with me.” Rey glanced down at her watch and gasped. “Oh, damn, I’m going to be late if I don’t hurry.” Jumping to her feet, she dusted herself off. 

Ben unfolded himself to his full height, hoping their easy camaraderie didn’t disappear. He wondered if she’d come to him if he stayed put or if she’d give him a wide berth still. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he waited to see what she’d do. Rey picked up her camera and donned the strap so that it hung across her body. Stepping over to the shadow of one of the vehicles, Rey picked up a camera bag that he hadn’t even noticed was there, situated a second camera so that it rested against the opposite hip, then pulled out a cloth. As she strolled back in his direction, she struggled to clean the camera she’d used and hold her bag at the same time.

Ben held his breath as she came right up to him, her bag in her outstretched hand. “Would you hold this for me? If I don’t get the sand and dirt off my camera, the little granules can get inside and ruin it. At the very least, they’ll scratch up my lens.”

He couldn’t tell if it was a conscious decision on her part, but ultimately it didn’t matter. Not to him. He took the strap from her. “Sure. I hate sand for that very reason. It gets _everywhere_.”

Rey headed back toward the soundstage where the early filming would take place, not taking her eyes off her task. “Tell me about it. I actually found sand in my boot once. _In my boot_. And I hadn’t even taken them off!”

Ben felt another triumphant thrill rush through him when Rey’s hand brushed his as she retook possession of her camera bag. It gave him a bit of jolt to see how small her hands were next to his. While she wasn’t short, she _was_ slight in build, so he supposed she _would_ have small hands. Or, maybe his were simply gigantic, monstrous ones. Apparently, she thought the same because, instead of putting away her cleaning cloth, she now stared at his hand.

He flexed it, saying a bit wryly, “They’re huge, I know. I’m a bit of a sight gag. Ridiculously tall with big hands, nose and feet. I won’t even mention my ears. It’s a wonder I landed this role at all.”

“That’s not true. You got this role because you were wanted for it. As for your hands,” Rey blushed furiously, “I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just, I tend to notice a person’s hands. They can tell a story all on their own. I’d like to photograph yours sometime.”

Ben looked down at his hands, flipping them over and back again, trying to see what she saw and failed miserably. To him, they were simply his hands. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” 

At least it wasn’t his face, but then, that hadn’t been so bad, either. In fact, he was a bit curious to see how the pictures turned out. Another first for him. He refused to watch his own movies. Refused to look at any photoshoot pictures, leaving the decisions up to the photographer. Just looking at himself in a mirror was difficult for him. Here he was, curious over photos taken of his face! It was crazy, beyond comprehension!

They walked in silence a few moments, the only sounds of those coming and going from the soundstage not so far away now. Rey was the one to break it. “You don’t do much of the promotion stuff for your movies, do you? I have a friend who’s a fan of yours and she said you skip a lot of that stuff.”

Ben crammed his hands into his pockets again and looked around at the hustle and bustle. “No, I don’t. I do the bare minimum I can get away with. I have a clause in all of my contracts to that effect.” He shrugged. “I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t care for all of the attention. The way I see it, the focus should be on the movie itself, not on the actors and actresses or directors and producers.”

Rey let out a little huff of breath accompanied by an amazed shake of her head. “You’re a rare breed, Ben Solo.”

“Nah, just more like my mother than my father, much to my father’s dismay sometimes.”

With a chuckle, Rey looked up at him. “Let me guess. Your dad is the exact opposite of you. He’s outlandish, cocky, brash. Kind of a let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may person.”

Ben laughed. She’d pegged his dad alright. Han Solo was all of that and more. “Nailed him. Mom is more reserved, though she can have a temper. Usually, it’s over something stupid Dad’s done.”

Reaching the door, Ben pulled it open, spilling forth a mix of yells across the room, thuds of things hitting the floor, and the scrape of metal as things were moved around. The noise effectively put an end to their conversation, but he didn’t mind. He felt fairly sure he’d accomplished what he’d set out to do that morning. 

“Mr. Solo! I didn’t think you were filming today. We’d have set you up with a place to sit.”

Ben mentally rolled his eyes at the blonde assistant. He normally steered clear of her after she’d tried flirting with him. She’d even gone so far as to ‘accidentally’ press her chest into his arm. He waved off her apology.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind standing. I prefer to most of the time anyway so I can catch the scenes playing out from different angles behind the camera.”

Before the woman could say or do anything more, Ben continued on to the opposite side of the room, aware that Rey had moved closer to where the action would be. He tried seeing the set from her point of view, but not having an artistic eye, all he saw was the rushed motions of a movie set in preparation for filming. He wished he _could_ see it the way she did. No matter how many times he scanned the proceedings, his gaze kept landing on Rey. She laughed with some of the female assistants but the instant a man came near, she tensed and made sure to side-step him. More than once, the same guy passed by her, and Ben could see how uneasy Rey was getting. Just as he’d taken a step in that direction, the lights went down and the call for everyone to get into place rang out. Down to business.

BR

When the break for lunch came, the blonde from earlier was instantly at his side, her hand at his elbow. “Mr. Solo, why don’t you eat with me and my friends?” Her voice dropped to what Ben assumed she thought was sexy. “You won’t regret it.”

Okay, now the woman was getting pushy, making Ben feel rather uncomfortable. He strove to maintain a very polite and professional working relationship with everyone on set. It wouldn’t do him any good to get a certain reputation that many of Hollywood’s biggest stars have. He wanted to stay separate from all of that. So, how did he tell this woman to leave him alone without risking some unfounded rumors?

His answer came in the form of a light brush against his other arm and a cheeky voice. “Hey, Ben, I could use your help with something. Lend me a hand?”

The blonde gave Rey a once-over, then haughtily glared down her nose. “Why would he want to go anywhere with the likes of you? You’re nothing but a kid. You wouldn’t know what to do with a man like him.”

Rey’s face went beet red before ducking her head, her hair forming a curtain to hide her face. Ben’s own face heated but for an entirely different reason. As deliberately as possible, Ben extricated his arm from the blonde and, gently nudging Rey to the side, he stepped away from the other woman.

Though he kept his voice calm, the censure in his words succinctly made his point. “That was uncalled for. I don’t know what type of environment you’re used to working in, but I prefer a friendly, casual, yet _professional_ one. Now, please don’t bother me again.” Lightly placing his hand at Rey’s lower back, he nudged her forward. “Rey, I’d be happy to help.”

Once outside and away from the majority of the crowd, Ben glanced down at the young woman beside him. “Thank you for the rescue.”

Rey peeked up at him, a bit of a grin on her face. “You looked like you were about to be devoured by a harpy, the way she was practically drooling over you. I had to do _something_.”

Ben scrunched up his face at the mental image. “Again, I thank you. Unfortunately, that kind of thing comes with the territory.” Tentatively, he reached out and lightly caught her arm to stop her. “Hey, don’t take what she said personally. I really don’t care how old you are. You’ve shown a lot more maturity than she has.”

Rey let out a puff of breath. “I didn’t take it personally, not really. Not her disdain, anyway. I’m used to that. It was her, uh, assumption, that kind of got to me.”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed himself at what had been said. “People will make assumptions and insinuations. In this business, it’s rampant. You just have to learn to deal with it.”

Rey seemed to perk up at that. She even snickered. “You dealt with it alright. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone go as pasty white as she did.”

Ben shrugged casually. “She spoke harshly to a friend. I wasn’t letting her get away with that.”

Rey jerked her head up to meet his gaze, her eyes wide. “Friend?”

“I’d like to be.” Ben held out his hand, palm up, hoping she’d accept. “Friend?” He couldn’t hold back his broad smile when Rey slid her hand into his.

“Friend.”

“Great. Well, then, friend Rey, you’re in for a treat. That is, if you want to skip whatever’s being served for lunch. Finn, another friend of mine, has graciously agreed to make his nachos for me. Come eat with us.”

Rey’s jaw dropped. “You weren’t kidding about the nachos bit?”

Ben looked down at her in faked offense. “I never kid about nachos. Come on. Carne Asada steak. Two kinds of beans. Three kinds of cheeses. Green onions. Have I tempted you yet?”

Rey shook her head, laughing. “Fine. You win. Sounds tempting.”

“Good.” Ben gave her hand a gentle tug as he turned in the direction of his trailer before releasing it. “Let’s go.”

The closer they drew to his trailer, the more prominent the smell of sizzling steak became, and Ben’s stomach made its eagerness known rather loudly, his mouth all but watering at the coming combination of flavors that would be bursting on his tongue. No way did Rey miss hearing it. From the corner of his eye, he caught her fighting a grin. Good. If it took the highly embarrassing growling of his stomach to put her in a better mood than before, then he’d suffer through it.

His trailer now in sight, Ben could see Finn quickly dicing the steaks and called out his typical warning. “No fingers in my nachos, Finn!”

“Fuck you, Ben! One day, I’ll do it just to spite you!”

Ben winced at the comeback. It had been automatic to harass the guy over his expert knife skills despite Finn not being a chef, just as Finn’s rejoinder was an automatic response to the ribbing. Ben hadn’t given Rey’s presence any thought, but he did now. He stole a quick glance to see if she’d been offended. Tense. She seemed tense, but Ben had no idea if it was over the language or the fact she was coming into close contact with another man. He felt like smacking himself. He shouldn’t have pushed her into this. He hoped Finn could put her at ease enough to enjoy herself.

Reaching his friend, Ben admonished him. “Watch your language. There’s a lady present.”

Finn’s head whipped up and around so fast, Ben actually did fear he’d find a fingertip in his food. Finn’s gaze jumped to Rey. “I’m so sorry. Ben’s usually by himself. I hope I didn’t offend you.”

Rey responded with a hesitant smile. “You didn’t. Believe me, I’ve pretty much heard it all, and have probably even said a lot of it.”

Finn’s enthusiastic smile had warning bells going off in Ben’s head. Finn could be like a small dog when he was excited, all jumpy and non-stop talk. Definitely not what Rey needed at the moment. To head off what he knew was coming, Ben did the one thing that was sure to divert Finn’s attention from Rey. He swiped two strips of steak from the cutting board. It worked like a charm.

“Hey! If you want any of that in your nachos, then stop stealing it!”

Ben casually shrugged. “Rey doesn’t have all day. Finish that first. Then talk.” He handed one of the pieces of steak to Rey. “Try that. It has to be the juiciest, most mouth-watering steak you’ve ever eaten.” With a grin, he added in a loud whisper, “And if you’ve had better, don’t tell _him_ that. It would damage his ego too much.”

“You’re pushing it, Solo,” Finn grumbled good-naturedly.

Ben chuckled in response. “Rey, meet one of my closest friends, Finn. Finn, this is Rey. She’s the set photographer.”

“Yeah, I kind of assumed that, Ben, since she’s wearing cameras.” Two seconds later, Finn set down his knife and stared at Rey. “Whoa. Wait a moment. Rey? As in Rey _Lo_ ? The one who had the photos of Death Valley at sunrise and sunset published in _Outdoor California_ magazine? _That_ Rey?”

Rey blushed, seeming more uncomfortable. “Yeah, guilty as charged.” She popped the strip of steak into her mouth. “That’s really good.”

Finn wouldn’t be deterred this time. “Holy Hell! Ben, you have no idea what a gem you’ve got here! This girl is _really_ good at what she does. She made me see the beauty in Death Valley, of all places! That’s talent! Any photos she takes, you can guarantee they’ll be good.” He continued his gushing to Rey directly. “Oh, _please_ , take some of this guy, will you?” He hooked a thumb at Ben. “He deserves the attention it would bring.”

Now feeling a bit uncomfortable himself, Ben’s irritation showed when he spoke. “Shut up, Finn. As I said, Rey doesn’t have a lot of time and she needed me to help her with something.”

Feeling Rey’s gaze on him, he glanced in her direction and found a bit of humor sparkling in her eyes. “As it turns out, I _do_ have a few pictures already.”

Having finished dicing the steak, Finn gathered it into a bowl, then looked up in wonder. “Seriously? What did you have to promise to get him to agree? Ben’s been camera shy as long as I’ve known him, and that’s been a _long_ time.”

Feeling decidedly self-conscious, Ben snatched the bowl and stepped into his trailer to toss the steak in with the other ingredients. Yes, he was camera shy. He still felt like an oversized idiot a lot of the time. In no way, shape, or form would he ever be described as handsome or even marginally good-looking, so why _would_ he want to be in front of a regular camera? Acting was different. While pretending to be someone else, he could also pretend to _look_ different. 

Realizing he’d left Rey alone with a male she wasn’t comfortable around, Ben cursed under his breath, grabbed some cold water bottles and headed back out. He found Finn absurdly close to Rey with one of her cameras in hand, staring at the viewing screen.

“That’s the best of the lot. That last one. You really have a good eye.”

Rey’s strained smile and her slight lean away from Finn had Ben closing the distance between him and her in a single stride. Wedging his arm between them, giving Finn a bit of a nudge in the process, he held out a water bottle.

“Cold water?”

Whether from the offer of water or the added distance between herself and Finn, Ben didn’t know, but Rey responded with a relieved, “Thank you!”

“Everything’s ready inside. Go help yourself. We’d all eat inside, but … ”

Rey nodded. “Rumors. Right. It’s fine.”

Once she’d disappeared inside, Ben pulled Finn aside and as quietly as possible hissed, “Knock it off. You’re making her nervous.”

Finn gaped up at him as if he couldn’t believe what he heard. “ _I’m_ making her nervous? She’s as tall as I am. How am _I_ making her nervous?”

“Haven’t you noticed the way she moves away when you get too close? No? Then, open your eyes and _back the hell off_.”

Finn’s gobsmacked expression melted into high amusement. “Well, I never thought I’d see the day. She’s gotten to you, hasn’t she?”

Caught off-guard by that outlandish conclusion, Ben took a step back. “What? No! She’s a _friend_ , and I worked damn hard this morning to get to this point. She’s very skittish around men she doesn’t know and you invading her personal space at every turn isn’t helping.”

Finn’s brows rose, his grin turning sly. “She doesn’t seem phased by _you_.”

Ben rolled his eyes in exasperation. “I told you. I worked hard to get it to this point. Just use a little situational awareness, would you?”

Finn pulled a face. “I hate it when you go all military on me.”

Ben snorted and turned toward the trailer. “You could have done with a stint in the military. You lack some self-control.”

“Go get your damn nachos! And get a Snickers while you’re at it. You’re not yourself when you’re hungry!”

By that time, Rey had come out, holding a plate. “Military? Did I hear that right?”

Ben didn’t often discuss his time in the Marines, so he answered Rey with a simple, “You did.” 

As he loaded his plate, Finn’s voice drifted inside. “Yep. Not many people know this, but Ben was a Marine until he was injured and was discharged. Took up acting again and here we are.”

When he stepped back outside, Finn had arranged some chairs for them, two somewhat close together, the other a little farther apart. Ben folded himself into one of the two chairs closer together.

“Sit down, Rey, while you have the chance. There’s no telling how long they’ll go until they break for dinner.” He popped a chip loaded with cheese, beef, olives and onion into his mouth, forcing himself not to smile smugly at his friend when Rey chose the seat right next to his own.

“The studio doesn’t mind you having your own food? Or that your friend is here?”

Shaking his head, Ben chose another chip. “They prefer it, actually. If I’m on set and I’m not filming, they consider me invisible.” Rey snorted at that, making Ben grin. “I know. It’s quite the feat to make _me_ invisible, but I don’t mind it, really. As for Finn, he’s listed as a personal assistant so he’s granted access.”

Finn returned from getting his own lunch and sat in the last seat. Rey held up one of her chips. “These are incredibly good. Ben wasn’t lying about that. The next time I need a nacho fix, I know where to go.”

“I’d be happy to oblige.”

Rey’s gaze jumped between Ben and Finn. “You two seem like such opposites. How did you come to be such good friends?”

Ben paused, chip hovering halfway to his mouth, and caught Finn’s eye. They’d been asked that exact question many times. Both grinning they said simultaneously, “High school.” Ben went on to explain. “Finn, myself, and another friend of ours stuck out at school, so we banded together.”

“I stuck out due to my skin color. Ben, well, I think you can guess. Our other friend Tage, he has bright red hair, so he didn’t exactly fit in well. The school we attended was mostly white and either had brown hair or were blonde. A few redheads were scattered in the mix but not like Tage’s.”

“Ah. That makes sense.”

“What about you? You’re obviously not from this country. What brought you here?”

Ben could have kicked Finn for putting that look of sadness and … was that pain … in Rey’s eyes. It didn’t linger, but he caught it all the same. Rey shrugged, attempting a smile. “Oh, you know, wanted to travel. Took some photography courses, then decided I needed a change in scenery. So, here I am.”

There were so many holes in that story it could have been the latest space movie, but Ben had an idea of what filled those holes. He certainly didn’t blame her for not wanting to discuss it with strangers. He hoped, one day, she’d feel she could discuss it with him. They continued chatting and eating for several minutes.

“I feel I have to warn you, Rey. _Never_ let this guy tell you a joke. They’re plain awful.”

“Oh, come on, Finn. You liked my fry joke. Admit it.”

Finn held up a finger. “No, that was a pity laugh.”

“Fry joke?”

Finn groaned. “Oh, you’ve done it now.”

Ignoring his cringing friend, Ben looked down at Rey, his lips twitching. “Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.”

Much to Ben’s pleasure, Rey snorted and chuckled. “Oh, that’s bad. But I like it. I think I can top it, though. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.”

“Oh, Lord, there’s two of them,” Finn said with an exaggerated groan.

The absurd mental picture of a cow sans legs lying on the ground combined with the pun factor set Ben to laughing, holding his water bottle aloft to tap it against hers in salute. Talk soon turned to Finn’s actual job as well as their other friend.

Rey shook her head, amused. “An actor, an owner of a shooting range, and a police detective. Sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke.”

Ben let out a sarcastic breath as long-buried memories threatened to assault him. “Yeah, that’s what we were in high school.” 

Checking the time and seeing Rey would need to be getting back soon, Ben collected the empty plates and took them inside, missing her concerned glance at him and the one she exchanged with Finn, who shook his head minutely. A fun time had not been had by all during high school. If it hadn’t been for Tage and Finn, Ben wasn’t certain he’d be where he was now. Then again, maybe he would. Being the only child of a government official and a well-known car guy who could take any heap and make it run beautifully, he had learned the art of pretending from an early age. Had perfected his skill by high school. In school, he was Ben Solo, the too-tall nerd with the huge hands and feet who didn’t deserve to attend the prestigious school. Any other time he was Ben Solo, just your average guy. Perhaps that was why he was good at what he did. Or, at least, good enough to be requested for films.

Mentally shaking off his melancholy, Ben stepped back outside, thanked Finn for coming out on short notice and steered Rey back in the direction of the soundstage. He wanted to ask her what the favor was that she had wanted, but couldn’t get the words past his lips. Rey ended up being the one to break the silence between them.

“Did I say or do something wrong? You’re really quiet all of a sudden.”

Ben rubbed his jaw. How to explain? “No. No, of course, you didn’t. Sorry to give you that impression. It’s just … some experiences are best left alone, not spoken of again.”

Rey nodded, her eyes when she looked up at him held nothing but compassion and understanding. “I get it.”

Ben knew she _did_ get it, what with her own past she was attempting to recover from. The irony was not lost on him that he didn’t want to talk about his own, thought things better left unsaid, but wished she would one day divulge her terrible experiences, the ones that still put that haunted look in her eyes. He called himself all kinds of hypocrite but it didn’t change the way he felt. He wanted to be the one she confided in, plain and simple. Except, it wasn’t so plain and definitely not so simple. It wasn’t plain _why_ he felt the way he did. Rey wouldn’t simply open up to him, a virtual stranger. Not anytime soon, if ever. Ergo, the not so simple aspect. He just had to be patient. In the meantime, he could continue being her friend and enjoy the fact that she saw past the actor persona to the real Ben Solo. For now, it was enough.

BR

When the break for dinner finally came about, Ben begged off, citing he needed to get some rest since he had a very physical day coming up, starting extremely early. For a brief instant, he caught trepidation in Rey’s eyes before she smiled at him, nodded, and said she understood, that she didn’t blame him for wanting to get home. So, why did he feel so damn guilty? Why did he feel as if he was leaving her to the wolves? He did make certain to leave her with some of the friendlier female staff before he walked away.

As he headed for his car, a black Genesis G-90 with chrome accents, he ran through the scenes that were planned for the next day, recalled the lines he needed to deliver, and brought up the appropriate memories he’d use to get the right emotions across. The instant he fell into the leather seat, however, his thoughts wandered back to Rey, his mind helpfully conjuring up the look in her eyes when she heard he was leaving. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. What the fuck was wrong with him? What the hell was it about Rey that made him feel the need to protect her? She’d done fine on her own so far, she’d be just fine for the evening, surely. 

Ben sat there, staring in the direction of the soundstage a long time. He’d nearly convinced himself to go back when his phone rang. A second later, a pleasant ring informed him that the car’s system had picked up the phone call. Checking the dash display, he punched the ignition button to start his car, put it in reverse and then headed out, quickly yet smoothly shifting through the gears. He loved manual transmissions and was glad he successfully talked the car company into modifying the model for him. That was one of the few times he’d ever used his celebrity status to get something for himself. His friends had ribbed him over not getting a Jaguar, BMW, or a Mercedes, but Ben had wanted something different and loved the G-90 the instant he saw it. Plus, with his tall frame and wider shoulders, he needed the extra space the G-90 provided.

The chime stopped only to restart two seconds later. Ben sighed heavily. Pushing a button on the steering wheel, he answered the call. “Tage, what’s up?”

“Ben? I’ve been trying to reach you all day! I thought you had the day off.”

“I did.”

“So, why didn’t you pick up?”

“I was busy. Did you need something?”

“Not really. Just haven’t heard from you in a couple of days and wondered how it was going with that photographer.”

Ben screwed his face up at how that sounded. “Don’t make it sound sordid. It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh, I know.”

Why did Tage sound as if he didn’t believe him? What was with his friends today? “It isn’t! I was simply concerned. What, I can’t be concerned for someone?”

“You can. It’s just, you’ve never asked me for any favors regarding your concern before.”

Ben sneered down at the screen as if his friend could see him. “And I never will again if this is how you’re going to be.”

“Relax, Ben. Damn! Seriously, though, how is it going?”

“I don’t know. I guess she’s slightly more comfortable around me. She talks to me. She’s even approached me a couple of times.”

“That’s good. Sounds like progress to me.”

“I asked Finn to come make his nachos for me and asked her to join us.”

Through the car speaker, Ben heard Tage’s pained groan. “You introduced her to Finn? What were you thinking?”

“It worked out well enough.” Once he’d warned Finn off, that was. He thought of the joke Rey had told him and chuckled. “Hey, Tage, what do you call a cow with no legs?”

“Oh, Lord, I’m not even sure I want to know, but you’re going to tell me anyway. So, what _do_ you call a cow with no legs?”

Grinning broadly now, Ben replied, “Ground beef.” At Tage’s boos and hisses, he added, “You can thank Rey for that one.”

“Good God, she shares your warped sense of humor. If she’s telling you jokes, I don’t think you have to worry about her being uncomfortable in your presence.”

“It was just the one joke.”

“One’s plenty. You’ve made more progress than you realize, I think. So, how’s filming going?”

Ben heaved an exasperated sigh. He’d been over this with his friends on more than one occasion. “You know I can’t say much about that. All I _can_ say is that I have a very physically challenging day ahead of me, hence why I’m on my way home. I’ve got to get up ridiculously early tomorrow.”

“Alright, well, just thought I’d see how things were going. Talk to you again in a few days.”

The line went dead. Ben shook his head, amused. Tage always ended his phone conversations that way. No goodbye, just dead air and, eventually, a dial tone. As exasperating as Finn and Tage could be at times, Ben was thankful he had them as friends. Eventually, he made it home. After taking a shower, he went to bed, his last conscious thought was to hope Rey had made it through the evening alright. 

  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The Heart Begins to Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, I wanted to really drag out the friendship between them longer but neither of them were having any of that. So, here we are.

**_Life is a matter of … flirting and chatting._ **

**_\-- Carolyn See_ **

Rey wearily let herself into the apartment she shared with her friend Rose. She’d met Rose by answering an ad for a roommate. It had been a long day and tomorrow was likely to be even longer. Seeing her friend wide awake didn’t surprise Rey in the least. The girl was a night owl. How she managed to stay awake so late and still make it to work on time the next morning was beyond Rey’s comprehension.

“Hey, girl!” Rose called out from the sofa, turning to face Rey. “How did it go?”

“It was okay. Long hours and even longer hours tomorrow. I need to go through my photographs and decide which ones I’m turning in.” Picking up her laptop from beside her chair, and falling into the seat with a yawn, Rey added, “And no, you can’t see the pictures. Not yet. Once I know they’re about to be released, _then_ you can see them.”

“I know. I just find it so exciting that you’re working on a movie set now. A movie set! And with Ben Solo! Have you seen more of him? What’s he like?”

Memories from the day bombarded Rey. How Ben had found her that morning, making his presence easily known, and then just waiting for her, crouched on the hard ground. He’d spoken to her so gently, more so than she’d thought possible. The personal things he’d shared with her! Rey had a hard time believing he was as into _Firefly_ as much as she was! The enthusiastic way he spoke of _Ladyhawke_ proved he really enjoyed the movie. Rey giggled to herself. Who would have thought that Ben Solo was a romantic at heart?

His opinion of himself saddened her. How could he not see what millions of people saw? She never expected to meet an insecure actor, but that was exactly what Ben Solo appeared to be. While, no, he would never be considered Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or Chris Hemsworth handsome, Rey thought that _that_ was his appeal to most people. His looks made him more relatable. He had striking, unconventional features that the camera just loved. His eyes were probably his best. Ben had a gift in being able to say so much with just his eyes. She’d noticed that the first day she’d watched his scenes.

Ben’s voice was nothing to sneeze at, either. Deep. Rich. Like how she’d imagine a smooth brandy or cognac to be. He’d used that voice masterfully, as well. Unlike many, he didn’t need to raise his voice to display anger. The slightest hardening was all it took to get his point across. But when he spoke softly, like with her that morning, it made a person want to weep at the beauty of it. His mild nature certainly had eased her anxiety when around him, something she hadn’t ever expected given his height and obvious musculature.

He was a study in contrasts. Confident in his craft, for the most part, but highly insecure deep down inside. Outgoing with his friends, but quite reserved with everyone else. Except, not with her. He allowed her to see parts of himself that he only shared with his close friends. The sight of his hand, outstretched in friendship, popped into her mind’s eye, bringing a small smile to her lips. Why he’d want to be friends with _her_ , she hadn’t a clue. She was nobody. Nothing. But, she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, either. Ben was definitely not what she’d expected, and she felt honored to get to know the person behind the famous name. 

“Hello? Earth to Rey.”

Rey blinked back to the present, her friend Rose snapping her fingers in her face. Rey shoved them away. “What?”

“I asked if you’d had a chance to see Ben Solo again and you suddenly checked out. You giggled a couple of times, smiled, frowned. What gives? Have you seen him? Spoken to him?”

Rey contemplated how much to divulge. She hadn’t told Rose about her meltdown her first day on the set, not wanting to go into details as to what caused it. Nor did she want to admit having taken those photos of Ben. Those felt … special … personal, somehow. Maybe because she hadn’t officially begun her job? She certainly wasn’t about to share those with Rose. Nor would she break Ben’s trust and tell her friend something he’d said that was personal. So, what could she say?

Then, it dawned on her. Ben’s sense of humor! Grinning up at Rose, she said, “Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France?” Rey laughed out loud at Rose’s raised brows, as if she was deciding whether her friend had lost her mind. “They were cooked in Greece.”

It took the other woman a moment for the punchline to register. When it did, she groaned, rolling her eyes. “Oh my God, that is so awful.”

‘I know. That’s what makes it hilarious. You can thank one Ben Solo for that one.”

Rose groaned again and plopped back on the sofa. “Ugh. I _knew_ there had to be a flaw in that lovely package somewhere.” She let out a resigned sigh. “Oh, well. I guess that’s mild compared to what it could be.” Her look of disgust suddenly turned mischievous. “So, you’ve come to exchange jokes with him, have you?” She waggled her eyebrows. “Sounds promising.”

Pulling the SD card from her camera and inserting it into her laptop to begin downloading the photos, Rey rolled her eyes. “Stop. It’s nothing like that. He’s just being nice, which is actually rather … nice.”

Rose, it seemed, wasn’t letting go of the idea. “Maybe now, but nice can lead to so much more.”

“I’m not in the market for _so much more_ . Even if I were, which, as I said, I’m not, we’re practically colleagues. That _so much more_ that you seem so excited about would reflect badly on the both of us. And if that _so much more_ turned into _so much less_ , working together would be very complicated and awkward.”

Rose relented with a sigh. “Yeah, I suppose you have a point there. Especially since you’ll be working together for months. Alright, I’ll drop it.”

Pulling up the photos she’d taken that day, Rey absently thanked her friend, humming when Rose bid her goodnight. It wasn’t until after her friend had left that Rey thought it odd she had gone to bed so early. Shrugging, she returned to her day’s work, deciding which were the best to send to her boss. That accomplished, Rey quickly glanced around for Rose’s presence. Not finding it, she left her chair and sat on the sofa, angling her laptop’s screen away from the hallway so it couldn’t possibly be seen. She clicked on a file of pictures dated her first day, then clicked on those she’d taken of Ben. This was the third night she’d done this and couldn’t say why. Something about him drew her in, made her feel safe with him. She silently critiqued each photo as objectively as she could. They were all good, but one stood out among the others. She agreed with Finn. It was the last one she had taken. 

In all of the others, Ben had kept his gaze trained in the distance. The last one, however, he had looked right at her, the ghost of a smile curling one corner of his full mouth, the indentations that came with his full smile just peeking into view. The light had bathed more of his face by that time, bringing that golden sparkle to more of his eyes, adding warm highlights to the hair that framed his face, looking almost like a halo. She’d copied and turned in the other pictures she’d taken. This one, she’d kept and never planned to share it.

Yawning hugely, Rey closed out the photo windows and shut down her laptop. Setting it aside, she stumbled to the bathroom for a quick shower, set her alarm for an ungodly hour, and fell into bed.

BR

Rey hated being late with a passion, but especially more so for this job. Hopefully, her boss didn’t discover her tardiness. Stupid car. Very carefully, she opened the door to the soundstage and slipped inside, not wanting to disturb whatever was taking place. The squeaks of shoes on a hard surface, wooden _clacks_ , and the occasional grunt of effort assaulted her ears, along with an instructing voice. For a long moment, she simply watched Ben practice the motions of an upcoming fight scene, surrounded by stunt personnel and the actor his character was fighting. In his hands, he held what appeared to be a broom handle that was being used like a bo staff, the obvious source of the wooden smacks as the other man used a halberd-style weapon.

She guessed he hadn’t been kidding when he’d told her last night that he had to be back extremely early this morning. By the way his muscle shirt clung to him and the looks of his damp hair, he’d been at it for hours already and it was only five o’clock! The proceedings paused for a few minutes, giving the actors time to get water and to discuss the next section in the carefully coordinated but ultimately fantastic fight sequence. Rey readied her camera and took a few test shots. After checking them, she made a few adjustments with the settings and took a few more. Satisfied with those, she simply waited for the action to begin.

Rey waited through the instructional phase of the next set for when it was done in real-time before taking more pictures. Those would make a better statement, have more of an impact. Through her lens, she watched Ben and the other actor, Julian something, practice the elements that made up that section. She grew excited when the stunt coordinator had them run through everything they’d practiced so far, and then her jaw dropped, nearly forgetting to use her camera. All she could think was _Oh. My. God._ There were strikes of weapon on weapon, dodges, jabs, spins, kicks, parries. Everything a person could possibly want in such a scene.

That was, until there was a miscalculation or miscommunication and Ben took a shot from the handle of Julian’s weapon right across his face, spinning him completely around, his hand flying up to the injured area. Rey cringed with the impact, having had a close-up shot of it through her lens. The flurry of activity ceased instantly, while the medical staff jumped in to check on things.

“Oh, man, I am so sorry!” Julian said, worriedly. “I went high when I was supposed to go low!”

“I’m fine, Julian, don’t worry about it. Occupational hazard.”

Though Ben attempted to sound reassuring, his voice sounded strained, telling Rey he was in quite a bit of pain. She remained motionless, camera forgotten, her concern growing by the second the longer the medical staff checked on him. Had he broken something? His nose maybe? A cheekbone? He’d been hit so hard, Rey wouldn’t doubt either of those things. Wanting to get a better look at him to make sure he was alright, Rey stepped a little closer.

“How do you _really_ feel, Ben?” one of the staff members asked.

“I won’t lie. Hurts like hell, but I’m fine.”

The paramedic gently pressed along Ben’s nose and cheek. “Nothing feels broken but you’re going to have a whopper of a mark. It’s already swelling. At least it missed your eye completely.”

“I’ll get a cold pack,” another paramedic said before heading off to wherever the first aid kit was kept. She returned rather quickly and handed over the pack, wrapped in a buffer sleeve. “Keep that on for ten minutes. Take it off for five. Rotate on and off for a while. It should help with the swelling.”

“Alright everyone,” the stunt coordinator called out, “let’s take a break.”

The paramedics still hovered around Ben, blocking Rey’s view. While she was glad they were there to take care of the actors, the fact that they hadn’t moved yet ratcheted up her worry into almost panic territory. Gripping her camera tightly enough she could have left finger marks in the hard plastic body, she gnawed on her lower lip and tried to head off the irrational fear threatening to overwhelm her. Memories of being hit, with fists and with objects, played in her mind’s eye like a horror movie on repeat. Getting air into her lungs grew difficult. _No, no, no! Not now! Not here!_

She must have made some kind of sound because the two paramedics spun in her direction and hurried over, but all she saw was a man coming at her and she flinched away.

“Rey?”

She knew that voice. She struggled to place it. Other voices joined it but none of them were familiar. Then, she heard that familiar, gentle voice again.

“Rey, you’re okay. I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?”

She felt a hand on her arm and she jerked away from it. But then, the oddest combination of warmth and cold cupped her face, a delicate touch, and that voice echoed through her again.

“Come on, Rey, breathe. Deep breath. In. Then, out. Do it with me.”

Rey tried to follow the softly spoken instructions, really she did, but her lungs felt stuck, and she let out a little whimper of fear of not drawing another breath again. Her empty hand suddenly found its way to a solid, flat surface that moved rhythmically. Again, she heard that voice.

“Rey, do as I do. Feel my chest move as I breathe in. You do the same. Come on, I know you can do it. Breathe in.” The surface under her hand expanded and she attempted to do the same, only partially succeeding. “Good. Now, breathe out as I do.”

Over and over, she followed the soothing voice and copied the motions she felt beneath her hand. When awareness of her surroundings finally returned, she noticed three things. The hot and cold sensation she vaguely recalled was Ben’s hands as they lightly cupped her face, her free hand rested against his chest, and Ben was currently watching her with great concern. Humiliation burned her from the inside out and she closed her eyes. She’d made such a fool of herself. She hadn’t had a panic attack in several weeks. Why did it have to happen now? She felt a gentle swipe of a thumb over her cheek.

“Rey? Talk to me. What happened?”

That was the last thing Rey wanted to do. She attempted to move away but Ben wouldn’t let her go anywhere. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she finally opened her eyes and gasped. An angry red welt slashed diagonally across his right cheek, over the bridge of his nose and stopped between his eyebrows, brows currently furrowed in concern over her.

“That looks awful,” she stated, hoarsely. “It must hurt something fierce.”

“Don’t worry about me. That was a panic attack. I’ve seen them before. What brought it on?”

The female paramedic granted her a reprieve by coming up to them with a couple of chairs. “Both of you should sit down. Ben, get that ice pack back onto your face if you don’t want it swelling more than it already has.”

Irritation crossed his features as he turned his attention to the woman. “I really couldn’t care less about that right now.”

“No, she’s right, Ben. You need to get that pack back on that. What did you do with it anyway?”

“I will … _if_ you tell me about your panic attacks. How long have you had them? What brought this one on?”

Oh, she did _not_ want to talk about that, but what choice did she have? Refuse and make a bigger spectacle of herself than she already had? Brush it off and let Ben be in pain, that awful mark growing worse by the second? Because Rey had no doubt he meant what he said, that he would forego the cold pack if she didn’t talk. Maybe she could talk without saying much. He did ask how long she’d had them and what had brought this one on. She could answer those easily enough, couldn’t she?

Letting out a resigned sigh, she shrugged as casually as possible. “Fine. Now, get that pack out.” She laughed disbelievingly when Ben reached behind him and pulled the cold pack from his back pocket. “Your back pocket? _That’s_ where you stashed it?”

Ben winced a bit when it contacted his cheek and nose, then his lips quirked a bit as he looked down at her. “It was handy … and getting rather cold back there. I was seconds away from removing it.” He motioned to the chairs. “Have a seat.”

Her anger spiked, tinged with betrayal, at his admission. “You just manipulated me into talking. You fucking manipulated me!”

“I didn’t. I said I was seconds away from taking it out of my pocket, not that I would use it.”

Rey’s hands curled into fists, her arms crossing over her chest defensively. “It’s still manipulation, what you did. You _used_ my concern over you.”

“Only out of concern for _you_. I know about panic attacks. I’ve had a few myself, and I’ve certainly been privy to them in the military. I just want to help you. I didn’t ask you to tell me the root cause of yours, though I’ll admit to hoping one day you can tell me. All I did bargain for is to be told how often you get them and what caused this one.”

Spinning away from Ben, Rey retreated a few paces to think. Everything inside her shied away from telling him the entire truth. It was too humiliating to admit she’d been taken in and beaten down to the point where she feared all men. It made her feel weak and she hated that. But she didn’t fear all men, did she? She didn’t fear Ben. Even now, on the heels of her attack, she felt no fear of him. How could she when he was the one to help her out of it? How could she possibly be afraid of him when he’d held her face in his large hands so delicately? Or the way he’d spoken to her so softly, yesterday and again just now? 

Rey had to admit that he was right in what he bargained for. He hadn’t asked the reason behind her attacks and he could have. After her little display, she shouldn’t be surprised that he would want to know the answers to the questions he posed. He deserved that much, didn’t he? Especially if they were to be friends. They may be _new_ friends, but friends all the same. And he _was_ worried, she could see that in those expressive eyes of his. Hell, it was written all over his face.

Oh, God, his face! She turned back to Ben, finding him gingerly pressing against the raised red welt with his fingers and grimacing. Her anger and uncertainty instantly evaporated. She’d answer his two questions as she had originally planned as long as he followed through with his part and actually used that damn cold pack. If she were to be honest with herself, she probably would have pulled something similar if the roles were reversed.

Rejoining him, Rey took the hand still holding the pack and lifted it. “See this?” She pointed at the pack, then his face. “It goes there. Ten minutes on, five off.” When he didn’t move, she lifted his hand and actually placed the pack against his cheek herself. “Now, sit down, will you? If I’m going to do this, I’d much rather be able to at least come close to looking you in the eye.”

She waited for Ben to actually sit before taking her own seat. Rubbing her left palm with the thumb of her right hand, Rey took a moment to figure out how to say what she wanted him to know. Eventually, she just started speaking.

“Several months ago, something happened to me. I won’t go into detail. Sorry. The panic attacks came after that. At first, they seemed to happen all the time, but they’d tapered off. I haven’t had one in several weeks. I thought I was past it.”

“It happens that way sometimes. Panic attacks can be tricky, triggered by a sight, a sound, a smell. What’s worse, they can hit you out of the blue. Do you know what triggered this one?”

Gulping, Rey rubbed harder on her palm, the motion helping to keep her centered. “I think, seeing you take that hit. I saw it through my lens so I had a front row seat to it. It brought back some memories.”

“Ah, hell, Rey. I’m so sorry.”

The guilt she heard in his voice had her looking over at him in confusion. What would he have to feel guilty about? Then, she noticed his hand had fallen away from his face. With a bit of an eye roll, she pushed it back into position. 

“It hasn’t been ten minutes yet. Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”

“I just am. I feel responsible. You shouldn’t have had to live through whatever it was, let alone _re_ live it. I should have told you yesterday what would be happening today. You may have been more prepared, or even opted out of coming until later.”

Seriously? He was going to try to take the blame for something he had nothing to do with? If she’d been in the market for someone, she could easily find herself falling for Ben Solo. Luckily, she was not.

“Listen to me, Ben. It’s _not your fault_. I’m the one who didn’t disclose that information to anyone, so, really, the fault lies with me.”

The fierceness that stole over the features she could see nearly took her breath away, as did the insistence in his voice. “ _You’re_ not at fault, either. Whatever happened to you was _not_ your fault.”

“I didn’t say it was. I’m slowly realizing that it had nothing to do with me at all.”

His sudden tension drained away, his features relaxing. “Good to hear that.” He dropped his hand from his face. “How does it look?”

“Painful. Tilt your head a bit.” Rey pointed in the direction she needed to get better lighting on his face. “Sorry to tell you this, but it’s bruising pretty good. I’m not sure makeup is going to be able to cover it.”

“Damn. Well, we can at least still practice, even if filming has to be put off.”

Just then, the director and the stunt coordinator came over, both eyeing Ben critically. The director whistled. “Yean, I think filming is a no-go for you. At least for today. That’s going to be too sore to try to cover with makeup.”

“Why? Couldn’t we simply make it a part of my post-fight appearance?”

The director stared down at Ben with a look of such exasperation Rey had to hide her grin. “You just took a hard knock to the face, Ben, missing your eye by centimeters. No, we can’t just make it a part of your appearance. I’m not taking any chances.”

“But I’m fine! We’ll be behind schedule!”

“Look, I admire your work ethic, but I have the final say, and I’m saying no.” To Rey’s surprise and embarrassment, he turned to face her, his voice softer. “How are you? I heard what happened.”

Oh, God, was there no end to her humiliation? This would likely get her thrown out for sure.

“Don’t worry about it spreading around. Everyone in here has been sworn to secrecy. Glad to see that you’re doing better.” 

The two, director and stunt coordinator, walked off, discussing other scenes that could be filmed instead. That was it? No _You don’t belong on a set_ ? No _I’m informing your boss_? Had she stepped into the Twilight Zone or something? Maybe this was all some elaborate dream. If it was, she didn’t think she wanted to wake up.

“I told you. We’re like a big family. Oh, it’s not like this with every crew and director, but this particular one has been the best I’ve worked with so far.”

With a cheeky twist to her lips and brows raised, Rey asked, “Does that sentiment apply before or after the conversation you just had?”

Ben chuckled, staring at the cold pack in his hand. “After, even so. I’ve worked with Will before. He’s really laid back for a director. He really cares about the project and the cast. To be honest, I’m not that surprised he said no.” He looked around them at the bustle of activity. “I hate that we’re losing a day, but once Will’s mind is made up, there’s no changing it.”

“In this particular case, it’s probably for the best. You should go home and get some rest.”

“Nah, I’m sticking around. I’d like to see how some of the other scenes are played out, _but_ they won’t get to that for a little bit, having to rearrange things and such.” Ben pulled his damp shirt away from his chest. “In the meantime, I’m going back to my trailer for a quick shower. If you want, you’re more than welcome to come along.”

Redness stained Rey’s cheeks and ears as prickling heat flooded them, her eyes going round. _Oh, Lord, did he just say what I think he said? What do I do now? What do I say?_

Not a second later, Ben flushed bright red and groaned, ducking away from her gaze. “I just heard what I said. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that you could join me.” He cringed. “Hell, that doesn’t sound any better. You can walk with me to my trailer, if you’d like. That’s what I was trying to say. I wasn’t trying to proposition you or anything. I wouldn’t do that. You know what? I think I’m just going to shut up now.”

A second or two later, Rey snickered. She couldn’t help it. The awkwardness of the moment and Ben’s fumbling apology just pushed it over the top. He peeked at her from the corner of his eye, his lips twitching, which only served to make her laugh more, relieving the tension that had built from her hinting at her past. He joined in her laughter within seconds.

As their mirth died down to chuckles, Ben, obviously still embarrassed, rubbed his brow with his finger. “I forgot to warn you that I often suffer from foot in mouth disease. Both feet, really, and considering the size of mine, that’s quite the … feat. Truly, I’m sorry.”

Feeling much more at ease, Rey waved a hand at him. “Don’t worry about it. I do think that hit you took addled you a bit more than you thought. Maybe I _should_ walk you back to your trailer to be sure you actually make it there.”

Ben chuckled again, shook his head, and let out a huge breath, his expression clearly showing his disbelief at the whopper of a faux pas he’d committed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe that hit did scramble my brain more than I thought.” He stood then. “Lead on.”

Once they’d reached his trailer, Ben told her to wait a moment, that he had something he thought might help if she were to ever feel another panic attack coming. Intrigued, Rey remained outside by the door, wondering what on earth he could give her. To say she was confused when he handed her a pack of gum was an understatement.

“Believe it or not, it works. At least, for some people it does. It gives you something tangible to focus on.” He shrugged. “I thought it might help you.”

Rey smiled up at him in gratitude. “Thanks. I’ll try it next time, but I’m hoping there won’t _be_ a next time.” She tilted her head as she studied him, his earlier words coming back to her. “You said you had them, too, at one point. Care to share?” Ben’s easy-going expression closed off as he broke eye contact with her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Heaving a sigh, he leaned in the doorway, crossing his ankles and stuffing his hands into his pockets. He stared off into the distance as he reluctantly spoke, “No, I did say it. You had a right to ask. It happened while I was in the military, so I can’t go into detail. A training exercise went wrong with nearly fatal results. It did a number on me for a while.”

Rey, her mind conjuring up some pretty horrific scenarios, stared up at Ben with tears in her eyes. The world had come so close to losing a gem of a person, an unbelievable talent and hadn’t even known it. If things had gone differently, Ben Solo’s name would have meant nothing to anyone but his family, and that thought brought a sharp pain to her chest. This man _deserved_ to be known worldwide. The one thing that comforted her on the heels of that thought was that he was on his way to that becoming a reality. 

Attempting to rein in her emotions, she drew in a deep breath, and cleared her throat. “Well, let me just say that I’m glad things turned out the way they did. I’ll, uh, let you get your shower.”

She’d turned and had taken a step when his quiet voice stopped her. “Rey. I didn’t tell you that to upset you. I just wanted you to know that things _will_ get better. It’ll just take time.”

Meeting his gaze over her shoulder, she nodded once. “Thanks. I’ll catch up with you later.” With that, she left him there.

BR

Oh, God, she felt like dying. Swiping at the tears she couldn’t hold back, Rey huddled in the little spot she’d found for some privacy. The level of understanding in Ben’s eyes when he told her it would get better simply shook her because she knew it wasn’t a platitude. He truly could relate to what she had gone through. He was the only one in her life who could and it felt … comforting. His words had chipped away at the weight on her shoulders like a chisel. A very sharp one.

That wasn’t why she felt like dying, however. No, that was due to the idea of a world without Ben Solo in it. Not necessarily Ben Solo the actor but Ben Solo the person. She didn’t want to contemplate it but her mind kept replaying those words. _Nearly fatal_. Why she was falling to pieces over something that happened years ago, Rey couldn’t truly explain. The closest she could come would be to say that, in just the two days she’d gotten to know him, he’d become a very dear friend. How that came to be in such a short time frame, she didn’t know, but it was true. He’d gone out of his way for her from the moment they’d met and she’d be forever grateful for it and for him.

“Rey? Honey, what’s wrong?”

And, of course, she’d be discovered. At least it was by Gigi LeSone, the actress playing the love interest of Ben’s character Lucas. Sniffling and hastily wiping her cheeks, Rey shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just being stupid.”

The willowy blonde sat down next to her, seemingly not minding the dirt she was certain to get all over her. “Nonsense. If it has upset you this much, then it isn’t stupid.”

Rey casually waved her hand. “It’s just something Ben said that - ”

“Ben? Ben said something to make you cry? _Ben?_ The man’s a sweetheart. I can’t imagine him doing something like that.”

Fearing the woman would rush off to confront Ben over a misunderstanding, Rey grabbed Gigi’s arm. “It’s not like that. He wasn’t being cruel. He just said something that … struck a chord with me, I guess you could say. Really. That’s all it was. I’m not even sure why it affected me so extremely, but here I am.”

The blonde nodded slowly. “Ah. Well, I guess I won’t go running off to give him a good lecture, then.”

Rey halfheartedly chuckled. “No, please don’t. If he knew how I reacted to what he said, he’d probably feel guilty over it.”

Gigi, laughed softly. “From what I’ve seen and heard, you’re probably right about that. Ben is a breath of fresh air. I’ve worked with a lot of actors and I wish they were more like him. He’s kind to everyone, very professional.”

Rey nodded in agreement with that assessment. “He’s definitely been kind to me when he had no reason to be.” 

“So I’ve noticed.”

Rey’s eyes flew to the other woman in alarm. “What? What’s that supposed to mean? You just said he’s kind to everyone. There aren’t any rumors or anything, are there? Oh, that would be the last thing he needed.” 

Feeling her heart start to pound, she pulled out the gum and popped a stick into her mouth. Oddly enough, it did seem to help. Rey caught the actress eyeing the gum packet and thought she would ask about it, but she didn’t, which was a relief because Rey wasn’t sure how to explain.

“No, there are no rumors, but everyone is quite aware of how much Ben avoids press activities and cameras in general as much as possible. Social anxiety, I think I’ve heard bandied around.” She glanced down at the gum in Rey’s hand. “He, uh, can often be seen chewing gum when he has to make appearances. So, yeah, seeing him talking with you is a bit of a shock.”

Rey also glanced at the packet of gum, fighting the blush that tried to creep up her neck. “Oh. Well, like you said, he’s just being nice or professional. Making the best out of the situation. I guess I probably have been around him too much in the last couple of days. I should focus on everyone. I’d really hate to pay back his friendship by rumors getting started. It’s just, I feel … safe, comfortable … around him, unlike with a lot of others.” Rey blushed and groaned. “I can’t believe I actually said that. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I wasn’t offended. We just haven’t had much of a chance to talk, is all. Ben does have a way about him that relaxes people. Talk is that he took a hit, that he won’t be filming today after all. Is it really that bad?”

Rey nodded, chewing her gum a little more ferociously, attempting to keep herself calm as the scene played out in her head, and ignoring the fact she’d thought people had been sworn to secrecy about what went on. Then again, his injury would have been obvious anyway at some point.

“He did. A hard one.” Reaching up, she traced the path the welt followed. “Just barely missed his eye.”

Gigi cringed. “Oh, how awful. _But_ , things like that are a common occurrence in this line of work despite all the precautions taken.” After checking her watch, she patted Rey’s knee. “Come on. I’ll be filming a few scenes soon. Let’s take your mind off whatever it is that bothered you.”

BR

Rey ended up spending the majority of the day shadowing Gigi and enjoying every minute of it. The actress’ vivacious personality put Rey at ease almost instantly. To her everlasting shock, she and Gigi had more in common than expected. Though she hadn’t gone into details, Rey discovered the other woman had learned to be very self-sufficient. Gigi had worked very long and hard to get where she was now and took none of it for granted. She inspired Rey to keep pushing forward, to give her dream everything inside her to make it happen. It was something Rey needed to hear from another woman.

Rey glimpsed Ben a few times, but Gigi kept her so busy regaling her with stories, introducing her to more people, and then, of course, taking photos as she filmed her own scenes, that she didn’t get a chance to speak to him. As calm and reserved as Ben was, Gigi was frenetic energy wrapped up in an elegant package that really had Rey longing for the soothing presence of the movie’s lead actor regardless of her enjoyment of the day.

That night, Rey sent off the photos to her boss, went through the ritual of studying Ben’s photos, then shut down her laptop. Showering quickly, she tried to get some sleep but it didn’t come quickly. When it did, it wasn’t restful. A sense of foreboding crept into her to taint her dreams. Waking the next morning on edge, nothing seemed to go right. She felt as if she was in limbo, waiting for something to happen, something to burst the happy bubble she’d been living in, but nothing ever came about, so Rey put it out of her mind and told herself she simply had an off day.

BR

A week and a half later, Ben was cleared to begin rehearsing the fight scene once more and to film his other scenes, as the bruising on his face had lessened enough to be covered by makeup. Despite her best efforts to give all the actors equal time with her camera, Rey still ended up shadowing Ben. It seemed to be a natural gravitation, something she had no control over. He didn’t seem to mind, thankfully, since he often sought her out, as well. Being in his presence brought out her true personality, one that leaned toward cheekiness and the occasional temper flare-up. She even felt comfortable enough to get into friendly debates over the silliest of things, like ketchup on fries versus ketchup to the side. It gave Rey a sense of freedom she hadn’t had in over a year.

The day the rehearsed fight scene was to be filmed, Rey cheekily reminded Ben, “Duck this time, yeah?”

She received a light, playful shove, more a touch than anything. “Yeah, yeah,” he said with an exaggerated eye roll, which garnered her laughter.

Watching it play out through her lens nearly took her breath away. The moves altogether were a perfectly timed, flashy dance, graceful yet harsh. The actors’ expressions, however, sold it to the audience. Rey had feared how she’d react to seeing it in real-time, so she’d popped a stick of gum into her mouth before they began, ever thankful to Ben for giving it to her. As it turned out, she needn’t have worried about panicking, but she grew short of breath for an entirely different reason. Her mind kept superimposing Ben in his tank top and loose-fitting pants, his well-developed arm muscles bunching and flexing, over the Ben in his Lucas clothing. Even after filming had stopped, her mind conjured the sight of that tank top plastered to a nicely-toned chest. At the time, she hadn’t paid any attention to those details, but now, she couldn’t seem to ignore them.

But why? Why would she notice things like that about Ben? It was _Ben_! A friend! She certainly shouldn’t be thinking those broad shoulders were actually appealing not intimidating. And no, she shouldn’t be tracing with her eyes the way his torso narrowed to his waist. The memory of his voice should not in any way, shape, or form be considered sensuous, nor should it send little shivers down her spine. That’s what she told herself, but it didn’t work. Remembering how it felt to be touched by those long-fingered hands sent goosebumps dotting her arms.

_God, Rey, get a grip! You are not going to think of him like that. You are going to remember he’s your friend. You are not going to go all fangirl on him. You have to look him in the eye, after all. He’d never take an interest in you anyway! Now, get a grip!_ She snapped out of her thoughts when she realized Ben was coming over. _Definitely not graceful. Ah, damn it!_

Ben looked down at her, his brow furrowed. “Everything alright? You look a bit flushed. Are you sick?” He reached out and placed the back of his hand against her forehead and cheek.

_No, I’m just suddenly hot. For you, apparently._ Rey cleared her throat and offered up the best smile she could. “I’m fine. That looked spectacular, by the way.” His pleased smile set her heart racing.

“Practice makes perfect.”

Rey answered with an impish grin. “And so does ducking.” Again, those full lips stretched into his lovely smile, the creases in his cheeks in full view.

“I’m never living that down, am I?”

Laughing, Rey held up a hand as if to make an oath. “I won’t mention it again. Promise.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed, though a corner of his mouth remained curled in amusement. “Somehow, I’m not certain I believe that.”

Feigning offense, Rey gasped dramatically, her hand flying to her chest. “You doubt my word?”

“Ben, we’re ready for the next scene!”

Acknowledging that he heard with a wave of his hand, he chuckled and began walking backward. “It’s not your word I doubt, Rey. It’s that mischievous twinkle I see in your eyes that I don’t trust.” 

With that parting shot, Ben returned to work, as did Rey. Okay, so maybe she _could_ admire certain things about him and still act normally. As long as that was as far as it went, she could handle it. She still didn’t understand why that part of her had to begin acting up _now_ , of all times. Whatever. She’d deal with it, like she’d done with everything else. She simply wouldn’t think about it. If she didn’t think about it, it didn’t affect her. It’s what she did whenever the subject of family or all the childhood things she missed came up. She simply pushed it away. She steadfastly refused to be reminded that she hadn’t been thinking about Ben in such a manner before until she suddenly was.

As filming wound down, Rey caught up with Ben. “Hey, before we leave for on-location shooting, you owe me a photoshoot.”

Ben looked down at her, confusion written all over his face. “What?”

Rey didn’t know why, but her chest constricted a little at his confusion. “You don’t remember, do you? Don’t worry about it, then.”

She turned away to head in the opposite direction, but his hand on her arm stopped her. “No, wait. What is it I’m forgetting? I want to know.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course, it does. It does to me.” When it became obvious she wasn’t saying anything else, Ben scrunched up his brow in thought. Then, it suddenly cleared. “I remember. That day you were photographing the vehicles.” Two spots of color stained his cheeks. “You, uh, said you wanted to photograph my hands.”

Rey made every attempt to swallow her irrational hurt. She had no right to feel that way. Besides, it wasn’t as if Ben hadn’t been busy. Naturally, he’d forget some off-hand remark made days ago. He hated cameras anyway, he’d told her so. Was it really that surprising that he’d put it out of his mind? She should be thankful he tolerated her presence at all instead of pushing for more.

“I did say that, yes, but you’re under no obligation to follow through. Let’s just forget it, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay,” Ben said softly, his long fingers still gently wrapped around her arm. “I get the impression you’ve been forgotten and disappointed most of your life. I don’t want to do that to a friend. Let’s do it tomorrow.”

Rey shook her head, battling the wetness gathering in her eyes. “You’re really busy tomorrow.”

Ben shrugged. “So what? I’ll make time. Let me make up for my lapse in memory. Gigi and Julian are filming during the evening. We can take the time to do it then - after you’ve taken some photos of the filming, of course.”

Rey shook her head, “Ben, you really don’t have to - ”

“I know I don’t. I _want_ to.”

She let out a little chuckle, more than aware of how strained it sounded “No, you don’t. You hate cameras.”

“Not yours. You’re a friend. I know you’re in it for the art, not the money, unlike most people.”

Rey studied Ben’s face intently, searching for any hint of unease or distortion of the truth. She found none. Would she, though? He was a damn good actor. How did she know he wasn’t just applying his skills to this situation? Did it really matter? He was offering. She’d get the photos she’d wanted. But she didn’t want them at his expense. So, yes, it really mattered whether he really wanted to do it or was just playing a part.

Ben must have sensed her doubt because he went on. “I want to do this, Rey. I want to see what you can do. Hell, I’m even tempted to look at the others you took, and that’s saying something.”

Okay, she hadn’t expected to ever hear _that_. “You - You are?”

Sheepishly, he grinned, color flooding his cheeks again. “A little, yeah.”

Hope that Ben was actually being honest with her spread through her, bringing a brilliant smile to her face. “I’ll bring them with me tomorrow and you can decide then.” She looked around at the building behind her. “I’ll have to see if I can use a corner of the soundstage or something.”

“I’ll take care of that. If I’m the one asking, they may be more willing. And before you get upset, I mean that, as in, if I, the one who tends to avoid cameras, am the one who’s asking.”

Well, so much for the rise in her temper. She’d been on the verge of ranting about not needing a man to pave the way for her, but his explanation deflated her ire like a pin deflated a balloon, suddenly and all at once. Rey had to admit he did make sense. The powers that be would likely grant their permission if the star requested it, the very camera-shy star. She may not like it, but she could accept it.

“Alright. I’ll leave that to you.” Rey chewed her lip, contemplating asking for what she wanted, but decided to forge ahead. No guts, no glory, right? “Ben, I’d like to - and feel free to say no, won’t hurt my feelings a bit - but, I’d like to use a set of dog tags for one of the props. I’m sure I can get my hands on some fake ones. It’s just that the military is a part of who you are, and I’d like to show that … if you let me.”

“No.” His tone brooked no argument.

Rey nodded her acceptance of his decision, a soft smile barely curving her lips. “I understand. That’s a private part of your life. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any part of that image faked. I’ll bring my own.”

Once again, Rey’s eyes skated over Ben’s face, searching for any hint of uncertainty. “Are you certain, Ben? Because if you even have the smallest sliver of doubt, I - ”

“I’m certain. Give me your number and I’ll add it to my contacts. I’ll let you know if there’s a change in plans.”

Rey rattled off her number. Within seconds, her phone buzzed with a notification. Pulling it from her back pocket, she smirked at the text she’d received and quickly typed out a response.

Ben’s phone chirped. He laughed softly then raised his brows. “That sounds like a challenge. Now, I’m determined to enjoy every second of it. See you tomorrow, Rey.”

“Good night, Ben.” 

As he tapped a phone number into his phone, presumably to speak to whomever he needed to about their little photoshoot, Rey headed for her old blue-faded-to-silver Volkswagon Jetta. She hated how unreliable the thing had become, but she wasn’t yet in a place where she could splurge on something less than twenty years old. After this job, however, she should have enough to get a decent car and she looked forward to it.

By the time she reached her apartment with Rose, who apparently was out with a boyfriend according to her note, Rey’s phone had buzzed. Checking the text, she laughed out loud.

_It’s all set. If you can make my colossal hands look nice, I’ll pay you double what Santos is and have you follow me around for whenever my picture is required. Not to mention doing all of my future photoshoots._

Still giggling, Rey quickly responded. _The colossal gauntlet has been thrown. That’s okay, I’ll pick it up. You may find you’ve spoken too hastily, Mr. Solo. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow._

_We’ll see. Good night, Rey._

_Good night, Ben. Again._

Unable to keep the goofy grin from her face, Rey went about her nightly ritual. She turned in the best photos of the day, studied Ben’s - with a little more than just a photographer’s eye, she could admit - showered, then went to bed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  



	3. A Heart Begins to Respond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things just got more interesting between Ben and Rey.

**_I desire to be with you. I miss you. I feel lonely when I can’t see you. I am obsessed with you, fascinated by you, infatuated with you. I hunger for your taste, your smell, the feel of your soul touching mine._ **

**_\-- Jack Llawayllynn, Indulgence_ **

Ben nervously watched as Rey set up her makeshift studio in a far corner of the soundstage. He’d offered to help, but she refused. She had several lights ready, a black backdrop hung up, a small case with various items in it, a wooden chair with a higher back, and a dark, wooden table. He had no idea this much went into those artsy, storytelling photographs he’d seen on occasion and had said so to Rey. She had chuckled and told him this was the bare minimum on most occasions. She tried explaining about contrast and brightness, about quality of light, and angles, and it sounded so complicated to him that he simply shrugged and deferred to her expertise.

She motioned for him to sit at the table. “Why don’t we get the more personal one out of the way? Unless, of course, you changed your mind?”

From his left hip pocket, Ben pulled out his government-issued dog tags and held them out to her. He’d had to dig them out last night, not having looked at them in a long time. He hadn’t been in the Marines long when a stupid mountain biking accident left him with a broken sternum. He’d done all he could to get back into acceptable shape, but he’d still been discharged. At the time, it had upset him a great deal, but looking back now, he could understand that was how it was supposed to be for him. He was meant to be an actor, not a soldier.

Before he handed over his dog tags, he had one other stipulation. “There’s some rather private information on them. Is there any way to keep that out of the pictures?”

“I’ll certainly do what I can here. Use the lighting to block any sensitive data. What I can’t block here, I can certainly take care of in post-production. Think of it as erasing what’s there. You’ll have to trust me to see that info in the first place, though.”

Ben gave it some thought. Did he trust her? He didn’t really know her that much. In the end, he couldn’t ask her to trust him if he wasn’t willing to do the same. He dropped them into her hand.

“Thanks for trusting me.” Rey glanced down at them and grinned. “Benjamin?”

“Don’t.” Mentally, Ben rolled his eyes. He just knew she’d say something about that.

“What’s wrong with Benjamin?” Rey tilted her head to the side, studying him. “It fits you.”

“Only my mother calls me that. Not even my dad uses my full name. It’s Ben. That’s all I’ll answer to.”

Still grinning, Rey asked, “And if I used your full name?”

“If you were to use it, I’d have to - ” Luckily his mind caught up with his tongue and stopped him from finishing that thought.  _ Hurt you? Smack you? Thank God I didn’t actually say that. _

Rey chuckled. “You’d have to what?”

Ben cleared his throat a little and awkwardly replied, “Let’s just say the normal jests would be inappropriate considering whatever traumatic thing you experienced before.”

Rey’s mirth disappeared instantly, obviously filling in the blank he’d left. She took a deep breath and said, “Right. And the L, if you don’t mind me asking? If I’m being too nosy, tell me so.”

“Lucas. My uncle’s name is Luke.”

Rey laughed out loud. “Lucas? Really? And your character’s name is -

Yeah, he’d thought it funny, too. “Lucas. Yes. What a coincidence, right?”

“Hmmm. Benjamin Lucas Solo.” Rey nodded, still grinning. “As I said, it fits. Anyway, so, okay, rest your hand, palm up, on the table.”

Once he’d done so, Rey situated the tags on his palm, slightly spread apart, and randomly poured the beaded chain over his fingers. “Try not to move. If you get uncomfortable, let me know.”

The light intensity and angle were adjusted to Rey’s satisfaction, then she began shooting. Looking down at the diffused light on his hand and lightly reflected in the silver metal, Ben thought he could almost see the artistry she was trying to achieve. Rey took shots from various angles, and he could see from the cute little furrow in her brow that nothing was working to her satisfaction. The soft light brought out the golden brown highlights in her shoulder-length hair, colors he hadn’t noticed before, as she tilted her head to one side, teeth nibbling her top lip, attempting to solve her problem. She made a rather pretty picture, actually.

Ben nearly jolted at the direction his thoughts had gone. What the  _ fuck  _ was he doing? He couldn’t think of Rey like that! She was a kid! A friend! He had no business thinking of her in that way! It didn’t stop his mind from cataloging all the little details he hadn’t really noticed before. Very faint freckles dotted her smallish nose and her cheeks. Not many, but a few. Her rosy lips just begged to be kissed, especially the plump lower one. He wondered if her lips were as soft as they looked.  _ Fuck _ , he did  _ not  _ just think any of that. No, no,  _ no _ .

Despite the mental protestations from his logical side, his biological side wasn’t done yet. Rey flipped her hair to one side so she could lean forward and snap a few more pictures, awarding him with a nice view of her graceful neck. Ben just barely refrained from lifting his right hand to graze along the skin there to see if it was soft, too. The light brought her curves into sharp relief, emphasizing her small waist. His hands could probably span her waist easily. He suddenly had the urge to see if he was right.

“Are you alright? You suddenly tensed. We don’t have to do this.”

Ben took a deep breath and met her eyes. A big mistake on both counts. She smelled of honeysuckle and vanilla, but not sickeningly sweet. Those gorgeous hazel eyes of hers were watching him in concern. Time to play  _ Ben the friend _ , not  _ Ben the friend who suddenly finds you attractive _ .

He thought of their shared jokes to bring about a genuine smile to his face. “No, I’m fine. Sorry. Did you get the one you wanted?”

“I did, but I’d like to try a few other things, too.”

“I’m all yours. Do with me what you will.” 

Damn, he shouldn’t have said that because, now, his traitorous mind was conjuring some really wicked things he’d love for her to do to him, things he’d return in a heartbeat.

“Only if you’re sure.”

Oh, he was quite sure. Wait, she meant the shoot. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Alright.”

Rey plucked the dog tags from his hand and lightly wrapped the chain around his fingers so that the tags dangled over the backs of them. She turned his hand onto its side, slightly cupping his fingers. Damn, her hands were so tiny compared to his. He remembered noting that early on, but seeing them in this way really brought it home. A photo of her hand in his, back to palm, popped into his head and he really wanted it to be a reality. Maybe he could coax her into it. Again, Rey took several shots before repositioning his hand and the dog tags, this time in his palm with his fingers curled over them in a loose fist, the metal edges and the chain the only parts visible. More clicks of her camera.

“Okay, I think we’re done with those.” 

Ben, thankful for the reprieve, stuffed his dog tags back into his hip pocket. When he next looked up, Rey held a peach rose in full bloom in her hand, the stem cut very short to where almost only the rose head remained. She had him cup his hands and placed the rose inside. To Ben, it was an odd sight to see something so delicate in hands that were anything but. After a few lighting and camera setting adjustments, she began clicking away. At one point, she stood behind him, leaning over his shoulder to take her photos, bringing her cheek right next to his. Ben closed his eyes, breathing deeply, to fight the urge to place a kiss, or two, or three there and anywhere else he could reach.

Then, she moved away. Damn, this was harder than he thought it would be. No, more  _ difficult _ .  _ Hard  _ was not what he wanted to think about at the moment. The next object she pulled out was a mug, one of those larger capacity ones. Cupping his hands around the white ceramic, she loosely interlaced his fingertips, then brought the camera back to her eye. As she clicked away, Ben felt a dreaded sensation. The sensation of a coming sneeze. Rey tipped the mug onto its side, the lip resting in his left hand, his right draped around it and continued taking shot after shot. With each breath he took, the sensation grew stronger, and Ben doubted he could hold it off for long. He was, unfortunately, correct. He barely managed her name before he had to move, two sneezes hitting in quick succession.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, sniffling a time or two. Rey’s chuckle wrapped itself around his heart. 

“Don’t be. Maybe that’s a sign to quit. You’ve sat still for a while already.”

“No, I’m good, now.” She didn’t seem convinced. “Really. I can sit for as long as you want me to.”

“Well, we’re almost done, so if you think you can hang on a little longer … ”

_ I’d gladly sit here all night if it meant I could be close to you. _ “No problem. Keep going. I’m actually enjoying myself.”  _ A little too much, probably. _

Once he realized Rey intended to move the table, he offered to help but was again refused. Honestly, she handled the table quite well, the muscles in her arms and legs flexing enticingly. Rey was definitely stronger than she looked.

“Okay, now, just you and the chair.”

As per Rey’s directions, Ben leaned forward until his elbows rested on his knees, his hands between them loosely clasped together. Click, click, click. With a little nudge, he repositioned his arms to where they lay along his thighs, his hands dangling between his knees. The whole time, Ben couldn’t take his eyes from her. By the way she nervously licked her lips, he knew she was aware of his gaze and he knew he  _ should _ stop staring, but he couldn’t. She didn’t lower her camera, though, and even adjusted the angle to capture more than just his hands, he was certain of it. He felt as if something had shifted between them, but was afraid it was his imagination.

The next to last positioning had him straddling the chair, his arms wrapped around the back to hook his hands over the top. More shutter clicks. Then, they’d reached the end. His left arm lay along the top of the chair back, the side of his finger resting in the little hollow below his lips. His other hand, fingers splayed but relaxed, sat propped on his thigh. Not once, he noticed, did she move the camera away from his face. She even closed the distance between them and knelt on the floor.

Ben swallowed and tried with all his might to regulate his breathing, unaware his eyes were telling the story of his inner emotions. Only a few shutter snaps went by before Rey slowly lowered the camera, her gaze locked onto his. He all but held his breath as she scooted closer little by little. He didn’t even blink for fear it would break the spell of the moment. A part of him screamed he should move, to stop whatever was about to happen, but he couldn’t force himself to. It was as if he’d been paralyzed. Except for his heart; it raced.

Rey finally halted when mere inches separated them. Her gaze dipped for a second before returning to his, and Ben wanted to groan. Did she have  _ any  _ idea what she was doing to him? She slowly leaned forward.

Ben felt the need to point out, rather hoarsely, “This is probably a bad idea.”

That stopped her, and Ben mentally smacked himself for speaking. Rey nodded. “Probably.” 

Despite her agreement, she closed the gap. Her lips met his, opened momentarily, then mind-blowingly slowly closed around his lower lip. It was the most sensuous kiss he’d ever experienced. It literally stole the breath from his lungs. Oh, fucking hell, he was in so much trouble! Rey moved to retreat and he let out a whimper.  _ A whimper!  _ Digging his right hand into the hair at the back of her head, he pulled her back to him, kissing her with more fervor. His reward came in the form of her little moan and enthusiastic participation in the kiss.

Good God, she tasted as sweet as she smelled! Like a man dying of thirst finally given water, he needed more. He needed his arms around her slim form  _ right now _ . Awkward though the process may have been, Ben finally managed to get the chair turned around properly without breaking contact with her and sitting down again. Dropping his hands to her waist - and yes, his hands practically fit around her - he pulled her onto his lap, a leg to either side of his. Her hands buried themselves into his hair, and it was one of the most thrilling sensations he’d ever felt, sending a shiver of pleasure down his spine. The furtive brush of her tongue against his pulled a moan from deep in his throat. That was it. He was a goner. And he knew it. 

Ben dragged his lips from hers to kiss along her jaw and down the neck that had tantalized him so much. God, her skin was softer than silk! His hands slid up her back, one resting at the nape of her neck, the other lowering again, fingers splayed to settle at the small of her back. He very badly wanted to pull her hips flush against his so she could feel exactly how she affected him. He was so turned on, though, that he’d more than likely embarrass himself if he followed through.

It was that thought that had him burying his face into her neck and trying to draw in lungfuls of air. “Rey. Rey, we have to stop.”

“I know. It just … hit so suddenly. I thought it was just me, but then I caught the heat in your eyes and it blew me away. I couldn’t seem to help myself.”

With a soft chuckle, Ben pressed a light kiss against Rey’s neck, just above her racing pulse. “Believe me, sweetheart, no one is more blown away than I am at the moment.” With a hard swallow, he forced the next words from his mouth, hoping he didn’t ruin whatever it was between them. “Rey, no one can know about this, about us.”

He felt her lean away from him and he thought for certain he’d fucked it up. For a long moment, she simply stared at him, for some reason a look of surprise on her face.

“You want there to be an  _ us _ ?”

Okay, that wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. With brow furrowed in confusion, Ben replied, his tone making it clear he thought it was obvious. “Yes. I do. Unless, of course, you don’t - ”

“Yes!” Cupping his face, Rey leaned in and gave him a hard kiss. “I very much do.”

Beaming, he brought their foreheads together. “Good, because if you’d said no, it would have killed me. It’ll probably kill me anyway to act as if nothing has changed between us, to be with you but not touch you too much or kiss you at all.”

“We’ll think of something. We have to because I don’t think I’ll be able to go a whole day without kissing you. Even a quick one would be enough.”

“We’ll work it out some way. Now, as much as I’d love for you to stay exactly where you are, if we don’t want to get outed, then you should probably move.”

Rey pouted so prettily that Ben couldn’t resist her and leaned in to kiss her again, this time leisurely, savoring every moment, knowing it would have to last until they could sneak in another. Footsteps echoed, growing louder, sending Rey scrambling from Ben’s lap and snatching her camera off the floor, checking the little view screen. Mindful of his current physical condition, Ben returned to leaning forward in his chair, arms braced on his knees.

“So, you said you wanted to see the pictures?”

Damn, she was good. He’d have been convinced nothing had happened if he hadn’t actually participated in the activities. Okay, time to play  _ his  _ part. He could do this.

“Yes, actually. I find I’m rather curious.”

Rey returned to kneel at his side with a tablet and tapped the screen a few times. “Okay, these are the first of today’s shots.”

Even though the footsteps were nearly upon them, Ben leaned over and pressed a kiss to Rey’s temple, buried his nose in her hair to inhale her scent, then straightened, taking the tablet from her. Just in time. The little curtain Rey had set up to provide a bit of sound and light buffering slid back to reveal the director, Will Jace.

“About finished?”

Ben began flipping through the photographs, impressed with what he saw, all of them in black and white. “Nearly. Just going through what she shot and picking out the best ones.”

“Do we need to clear out? We can do this outside or another time.”

“No, no. You’re fine. Just wanted to let you know that I’m still around. The studio preferred if you weren’t left here alone. Take your time, though. Filming will be a little later tomorrow.” He waved a hand at the tablet. “Mind if I see a few?”

With a few taps, Ben returned to the first picture, then handed over the tablet, nearly holding his breath as Will scrolled through several photos, hoping the man didn’t go too far in his scrolling. Eventually, Will whistled, handing the tablet back. Ben saw he only went as far as the mug photos.

“Those are incredibly good. You have a very good eye. Now I see why Ben was willing to go through with this.”

Ben met Rey’s eyes and she flashed him a grin that he’d learned meant he was about to be embarrassed or teased. Then, she turned to Will. “Well, he  _ did  _ tell me he’d pay me double what I’m currently earning if I could make his hands look good. It was a challenge I couldn’t pass up.”

“Well, I think you certainly succeeded there. I guess next time, he’ll know better than to challenge your skills.”

Ben playfully narrowed his eyes at Rey, who had stood and moved a short distance away by that time. She wanted to play, did she? Well, he certainly could. He turned to Will. “Yes, she surprised me. I ended up rather enjoying myself. I never expected to say that.”

Rey fiddled with her camera bag, pulling out a cloth to wipe the camera down with, but to Ben’s delight, he could detect a tinge of pink in her cheeks.

“Good. Well, I’ll let you finish up. Just remember, I need you sharp tomorrow, Ben. Plus, a quick reminder to make sure everything’s in order at home. We leave for Belize the day after tomorrow.”

Only when Ben was certain Will had gone did he meet Rey’s eyes, his lips twitching, as were hers. It only took a second before both sputtered in laughter. Holding out his hand, he pulled her to his side once she’d taken it and onto his lap.

“That was closer than I ever want to get,” Ben admitted, then defied his words by nuzzling Rey’s neck. He couldn’t seem to help himself. This lust or whatever it was between them had hit him hard and fast and now he struggled to keep to himself.

Rey, too, seemed to struggle. Her hands were already sliding into his hair again, her fingers curling tightly. Grinning, she nodded her agreement. “Right? It would not be a good thing to get caught.”

Still, she didn’t move and Ben didn’t make her. In fact, she trailed hot kisses along his jaw, up to his ear, kissing just behind the lobe. His eyes closed, Ben moaned at the touch and the delicious shivers that traveled the length of his entire body, his breath hitching again.

“Damn it, sweetheart, you’re going to kill me.” Her lips curved against his heated skin, her breath puffing out in her amusement. Ben held her tightly for a moment before pushing her away. “We really have to be careful here.”

Rey stood and began collecting her equipment together. “I know. I just can’t seem to stop. It’s like … this all-consuming need to touch you and I know I won’t feel better until I do.”

“I know. I feel it, too. We’ll figure it out, Rey. I promise.” 

Ben stood, retrieved the tablet he had set down on the floor when he’d pulled Rey to him, and scrolled through the photos. He hadn’t gotten through all of them previously. As he scanned them, he decided he was going to have to make good on his challenge - not that he wouldn’t have anyway - because, for the first time he could remember, he saw his hands as she depicted them. Strong and capable, yet gentle. He saw them as normal, that  _ his  _ normal was just as good as anyone else’s. It was a gift he’d always cherish.

Then, he reached the last set, just him and the chair. He’d been right that she’d focused on more than his hands for those. Ben inhaled sharply upon seeing the very last few. She’d said she’d seen the heat in his eyes, but he had no clue he’d shown her every little thing he felt towards her. His need. To touch her, to taste her, to feel her wrapped around him. It clearly showed in his gaze, and here he’d thought he’d hidden it well.

Arms snaked around his waist from behind, a kiss brushed against his shoulder blade as Rey peeked over his shoulder. “That is for no one else but me.”

“Good,” Ben managed, huskily. He swallowed as he continued to stare at it. No one should have the privilege of seeing him look at Rey with practically every bit of his soul bared.

She took the tablet back, tapped a few times and showed him another set of photos. “These are from that first day.”

This set of pictures were in color. Ben scrolled through them quickly. They weren’t bad by any means. He simply felt a little weird looking at himself. As in the other set, the last one gave him pause. He remembered actually enjoying the experience because he was gifted with watching  _ her _ . Ben tilted his head a little. Had he actually felt something for Rey from the beginning and not realized it? Was that why he hadn’t minded standing there so long, why he’d intentionally sought her out to help her relax around him? Inwardly, he cringed at what he still needed to tell her. Tage hadn’t told him much, no real details, just that she’d been badly assaulted. It had been enough, though, for him to understand her skittish nature. He feared if he said something now, with things so new between them, whatever relationship they were developing would be in tatters. He just couldn’t risk it. Maybe later when they were on more solid ground.

“That one is my favorite out of all of those that day. I sent the others to Marcos but kept that one. My nightly ritual may or may not have consisted of studying those. Now, I have another one to stare at.”

Ben looked at her over his shoulder, brows raised, then leaned back, bending his knees enough to give her a quick kiss. “You know what this means, right? This means I should have photos of you for my own … nightly rituals.”

Rey’s entire face colored bright red and she ducked her head, pressing into his shoulder. Ben felt like kicking himself. He had forgotten precisely how young Rey was, something that sort of bothered him a little. She had to be ten years younger than himself. That was a huge age gap. While not completely innocent - not if the way she kissed him was anything to go by - she was probably still rather inexperienced. He shouldn’t be making those kinds of comments.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to embarrass you. I did warn you about my foot in mouth disease, how I tend to lodge them both there.”

“It’s okay,” Rey said, lifting her head. “My nightly rituals weren’t like that.” Then came that familiar glint in her eyes. “They might be now, however.”

Ben’s nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply, the mental picture of her … enjoying herself … every night while thinking of him was just too much. Gently, he extricated himself from her arms and put some distance between them.

“There’s only so much teasing I can take and I’m pretty much at my limit,” he explained, his voice strained.

Rey’s expression instantly clouded. “Oh. Sorry.”

_ Well, hell!  _ Ben walked back to Rey and gently tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. It was all the touching he’d allow himself. “Don’t be, Rey. I just don’t want to rush things with us, okay? I don’t want to move too fast and risk things imploding. Do you understand?”

The smile she gave him was bright and genuine. “Yeah, I do. I don’t want to mess this up either.”

Despite her protests, Ben helped her gather the rest of her equipment and take them out to her car. The entire way there, he debated on asking her for anything but after loading her car, he chose to just ask anyway.

“Rey, would it be possible to get copies of the first ones from tonight? The dog tag ones?”

“Of course. I should have offered.”

Ben looked down at her, really anxious about his next question. “Would it be alright if copies were made of one of them and gifted to the VA buildings? I’d be willing to pay you for them.”

“Ben, no. I’m not taking your money. Just tell me which picture and where to send it and I’ll take care of it.”

“Rey, I’m not going to let you shoulder all of the cost yourself. Especially not when it was my request. I may not know much about photography, but I know enough to realize how costly it will be.” She opened her mouth to say something else, but Ben wouldn’t let her get a word in. “Tell you what, tell me what I owe you for our bet and you can use that. If you need more, let me know. Deal?”

Rey let out a sigh. “Fine. Deal. I’ll let you know what Marcos is paying me once I get home.”

“Fair enough.” 

Though he wanted very much to kiss her again, Ben forced himself to step away. The parking lot was lit up like a Christmas tree to deter trespassers. Definitely not conducive to keeping their romantic status under wraps. Rey climbed in and started her car. It did not sound like a healthy motor. She’d been late that one day because of her car. He wondered, again, if his dad could fix it or would be willing to. The big question was, would Rey allow him to ask? The idea of that car stranding her somewhere along the side of the road did  _ not  _ sit well with him.

Once she’d left, Ben headed for his own vehicle, punched in Tage’s number, then transferred the call to the car so he could drive. 

“Hey, Ben! You’re calling me for once! It’s usually the other way around! What’s up?”

With a bark of laughter, Ben, replied, “I know. I really should call you more. Sorry.”

“What? Not sure I heard that right. Did you just apologize? Wait a second. You’re in a good mood. Did you finally break down and get laid? I told you it’s not good to go that long without.”

Ben scowled down at the speaker as if Tage could see him. “ _ Not  _ that it’s any of your business, but no.” His mind conjured up Rey. Her taste, her scent, how she felt. Ben shifted in his seat and quietly cleared his throat. “Hey, there’s something I need to discuss with you. Can you come by my place?”

“Damn. Things just got heavy all of a sudden. Yeah, sure, man. I take it you’re on your way?”

“Give me forty-five and I’ll be there.”

“I’ll give you an hour so you can unwind a bit first.”

“Appreciate it.”

“No problem. See you in an hour.”

The drive home was, as usual, uneventful. Ben had just kicked off his shoes and was relaxing on his couch when his phone beeped. It was a text from Rey. He scowled at the number she’d sent him and texted back immediately. 

_ Sweetheart, he’s not paying you nearly enough. _

_ I don’t care. It’s a steady paycheck for now. _

Ben made a quick decision to pay her more than what he owed. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He just hoped Rey would accept it - tomorrow. The check will have already been made out, after all. For a few minutes, there was nothing else forthcoming. Then, he received another notification.

_ You said you wanted a photo of me. _

Then, her photo popped up.  _ Oh, Holy Fuck!  _ The photo was taken from above. Rey looked as if she lay on her bed, wearing a rather pale-colored, thin nightshirt. The light that washed over her turned her nightshirt all but transparent, not leaving much to the imagination. Ben gulped, his eyes glued to what was revealed to him. Another message from her popped up.

_ Thinking of you.  _

Ben’s hands shook so badly he could barely type. 

_ Sweetheart, you’ve got me so twisted up and right now there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. My friend, Tage, is coming by any moment. _

_ Sweet dreams, Ben. _

_ Uh, I’m not sure ‘sweet’ will be the term to describe them. Good night, Rey. _

Damn, how he ached for her! Ben seriously considered taking himself in hand despite Tage’s imminent arrival. Hell, it wouldn’t take much to get some relief, probably no more than a light squeeze - through his jeans. That’s how badly she had him stirred up. Knowing his luck, however, he’d be right in the middle and Tage would let himself in as he sometimes did. Both his friends had keys to his place for when he was out of town. Even if he did manage to get off in private, Tage had an annoyingly strong sense of smell and would know instantly. Ben figured he’d never hear the end of it. No, best to just suffer through until he was alone for good.

Stretching out on the couch, he pulled the light blanket from the sofa back and haphazardly draped it across him, glad it was actually a bit cool tonight. Minutes ticked interminably slowly by. Where the hell was Tage? Ben checked his watch again. His blood flow problem hadn’t abated in the least. Just as his hand moved to just do it and damn the consequences, he heard two raps on his door followed by the door opening.

“Ben?”

“Living room!” Ben sincerely hoped his voice sounded normal to Tage because it certainly hadn’t to his own ears.

Footsteps echoed off the hardwood floor. Tage took a good look at Ben and said, “Are you sick? You look flushed.”

Wincing slightly at the tug of denim over him as he sat up to lean against the sofa arm, Ben shook his head. “No. Sit down.” Once Tage had settled, Ben took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. He even ran a hand through his hair. “First of all, we’re going on-location in a couple of days.”

“Okay. Finn and I can watch the place for you as always. I don’t think that’s why you asked me to come out though.”

“It isn’t. Listen, what gets discussed here goes no further. Not even to Finn. Got that?”

“O-kay,” Tage said slowly. “Now I’m a bit worried.”

“When you first realized Phasma was attractive, how did you feel?”

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect to talk about this, but okay. Uh, horny. All the damn time. Over the littlest of things. Why?” He seemed to catch on quickly. “Oh, my God. Your trigger has been tripped. Your switch has been flipped. Hasn’t it?”

Ben scowled at his friend’s choice of words but sighed in resignation. “Crude but accurate. Quite literally. Tage, what do you think about age gaps?”

“As long as both parties are of legal age, I don’t know. What kind of gap are we talking?”

“I’m thinking ten years.”

Tage pursed his lips in a way that said he thought the gap a bit extreme. “That’s a pretty good gap. You’re thirty so that means this mystery girl is twenty. That’s pretty young.”

Ben nodded solemnly. He was well aware of that. “Yeah. These feelings hit me like a ton of bricks tonight. Completely out of the blue. But, damn, it felt so … right. Is it even possible to happen so quickly?”

Tage sat up a little straighter, staring. “Damn,” he practically whispered. “You’ve already fallen for this girl. Wait. You said tonight. You’ve been filming all day, correct? When you called, you were leaving the studio, right? This girl is someone you work with? Not exactly smart.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. But I can’t seem to help it. Before you even ask, she feels the same.”

“Then, I say go for it but be discreet. Not once have you ever asked my advice about this kind of thing. It’s nice to see you’ve finally fallen down this particular rabbit hole.”

Ben stared at Tage, shocked he hadn’t been asked the one question he’d expected to get. “You haven’t asked who she is.”

Tage fell back against the chair. “Hell, man, I don’t need to. I already know it’s that girl you asked me about. Rey was her name, wasn’t it?”

Just thinking of Rey brought a megawatt smile to Ben’s face. Tage shook his head in wonder. “Wow. I’ve never seen  _ that  _ look before. You’ve got it bad alright. So, tell me, what is our little photographer like?”

“She’s smart, witty, independent, strong. She kisses like - ”

Tage held out his hands. “Stop right there. I really don’t need to hear anything along those lines. I know we’re like brothers and can talk to each other about anything, but I really don’t want to hear about that. So, sounds as if she’s really come out of her shell, then.”

“She’s better. She’s still a bit nervous around some, but she’s gotten to know many of the guys on set.”

“That’s good. Ben, you do know you have to tell her about that favor you asked of me.”

“I know. I don’t want to do it yet, though. Things are just too new right now. I will tell her but when things are more solidified.”

“Fine. So, when are we meeting her? Might I suggest tomorrow? You can sleep on the flight. Finn will be upset when he eventually discovers I knew before him, you know.”

“I know, but I needed your experience in this. He’s not seeing anyone, has never been serious with anyone. You never answered my question. Is it even possible for it to happen so quickly? I mean, as you said, she’s young. Maybe she’s just experimenting. Or, maybe I’m just a rebound for whatever happened to her before.”

“Something tells me that’s not the case. And yes, I firmly believe it can happen that fast. It happened with me and Phasma. I think she is The One for you and you’re The One for her. She was meant to come out here, to come to you. I’ve certainly never seen you like this.” 

“Yeah, well, I’ve never felt like this, either. So, yeah, a get-together before we go would be good.”

“I look forward to it. What exactly brought this on anyway? I mean, you were filming and you just, I don’t know, suddenly realized she was easy on the eyes?”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck, knowing he was about to be on the receiving end of a lot of ribbing. “Uh, no. Actually, we were in the middle of a photoshoot.”

Tage’s expression morphed from confusion to undisguised glee. “A photoshoot? You? Damn, you  _ must  _ be completely gone over her if you’re agreeing to photoshoots.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “She had made mention that she wanted to photograph my hands, that she tended to notice a person’s hands. She said the hands told a lot about someone. So, we got it done tonight. All of a sudden, I started thinking things about her that I really shouldn’t have been, started noticing all these little details that I hadn’t before.”

“And you decided to make your move?”

Prickling heat flooded Ben’s cheeks and he laughed self-consciously. “Uh, no. She made hers.”

Tage’s brows rose and he whistled. “I like her already. Do be careful, though. Even a hint of a rumor could go badly for you both.”

Ben shot his friend an irritated look and snapped, “I know that. Why do you think I’m so damn terrified? There’s so many ways this could go wrong. My reputation would be a bit dinged but I’d survive. Rey wouldn’t be so lucky. That’s not my biggest concern, though. If I lose her, it will kill me.”

“Hey, man, I’m just making sure your head’s on straight enough to realize that.”

Before Ben could say anything else, his phone chirped for an incoming text. Picking it up, he saw it was Rey. Brows furrowed in concern, he tapped the chat bubble to bring up her message.

_ You still up, by any chance? _

Now wasn’t  _ that  _ a loaded question? His talk with Tage had, mercifully, taken a lot of the edge off his earlier reaction. Ignoring his friend’s watchful eyes, Ben quickly typed back.

_ I’m still awake, yes. What’s wrong, sweetheart? I would have thought you’d be asleep by now. _

_ The same could be said for you. _

_ Tage is still here. _

_ Oh. Sorry to interrupt. _

“Is everything alright, Ben?”

“I don’t know. She hasn’t said.”

_ Don’t be sorry, Rey. Is something wrong? _

_ I know this is going to sound forward but also rather clingy and I swear I’m not usually like this.  _

A picture came through. He’d been right earlier; she’d been on her bed. This photo showed the space next to her, her free hand resting lightly there.

_ I wish you were here so I could feel your arms around me. But then, if you were here, there’s a good chance it wouldn’t stop with just you holding me, so it’s a good thing you’re not. _

Ben’s mind instantly pictured him there with her, arms and legs tangled together, as close as two people could be Well, fuck, now his blood flow issue was back in full force.

_ There’s nothing I’d love more, Rey, but you’re right. That’s more temptation than I could even come close to handling. _

_ I know. I’m sorry. I know I sound super clingy. I’ve always hated girls like that and now I’ve become one. _

_ You’re the least clingy person I know, Rey. You’re just too gorgeous, sweetheart. I wouldn’t be able to resist you. Especially considering where you are. Hey, plan on coming to my house tomorrow night. I’m having Finn and Tage over. I’ll get you back to your place in plenty of time to get some sleep. _

_ A few hours where we can be us? No prying eyes around? Yes, please. I guess it’s safe to assume your friends know, then? _

“Ben?”

Ben waved an impatient hand in Tage’s direction and went back to typing.

_ Tage does. It’s why he’s here. I needed to talk to him about everything. Hope you don’t mind. Finn will find out that night. _

_ No, I don’t mind. Just a bit surprised. I thought guys avoided that kind of stuff. _

Ben chuckled.  _ Normally, yes, but Tage and Finn are almost like my brothers. I talk to them about a lot of stuff. Tage is married so he’s been where I am right now. I needed his experience. Do you have anyone you can talk to? _

“This girl-talk session and its interruption have been brought to you by Ben the Besotted.”

Ben threw up a rude hand gesture but otherwise ignored Tage.

_ Well, I’d talk to Rose, but she’s got such a fangirl crush on you, it may just kill her. _

Cheeks burning, Ben replied.

_ Oh. Well, she may surprise you, but you know her best. _

_ Hmmm. Maybe. Anyway, I’ve kept you from your friend long enough. Tell him I’m sorry. Good night, Ben. _

_ Don’t worry about it. He doesn’t mind. Good night, Rey. _

The instant Ben looked up from his phone, Tag snorted. “Oh, so  _ now  _ you remember I’m still here?”

Ben frowned at his friend’s attitude. Tage wouldn’t have been any different if it had been Phasma. In fact, he remembered many a time when their roles were reversed. “What? She needed to talk for a second. You’ve done the same. Besides, she apologized to you. I told her you didn’t mind.”

“Oh, yeah, she needed to talk, alright. She needed to say something that had you blushing.”

Ben heaved a put-upon sigh. “It was nothing like that, but why I bother explaining anything to you is beyond me.”

With a grin, Tage replied, “Well, I think we’re done here. I’ll let myself out, just in case Little Miss Photographer needs to speak to you again. I’ll contact Finn.”

As soon as Tage had left, Ben stared down at his phone, thinking of Rey, his body aching for her once more. He really did have it bad. There was no getting around it. He was going to have to take care of things. He felt like such a juvenile doing this but there was no other choice. Lying flat, he cupped himself through his jeans, knowing there was no possible way to get his zipper to budge, and pretended it was Rey’s hand instead of his own. A loud moan escaped him at the touch, his hips jerking, breathing instantly ragged. A very few quick little rubs and a light squeeze later, the pressure released so violently he thought he’d die.

_ “Oh, fuck! Oh, God! Fuck! Oh, God, Rey! Fuck! Oh, sweetheart! Oh, FUCK!” _

Minutes passed before Ben could think coherently again. Struggling to breathe, heart pounding almost painfully, he certainly couldn’t move. When he could, he simply draped the arm of the hand still clutching his phone over his eyes. Not once had he ever experienced an orgasm as intense as that had been. Not after his first time. Not with another woman, which there really hadn’t been many. Not after any prolonged dry spells. Never. And that had been from his own damn hand! He truly would die when he and Rey finally did come together, but fuck, what a way to go!

Exhausted, he seriously contemplated just sleeping right where he was, his bedroom seeming too far away, but forced himself to move. In his room, he changed clothes, made sure his alarm was set and fell into bed, one arm outstretched as if curled around someone beside him.

BR

Damn, this was more torturous than he expected, Rey being  _ right there  _ and he had to keep his touches to a minimum and impersonal at that. He wanted very badly to reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear, to run his thumb over her cheek or lips, but that was not something a simple friend would do. He longed to taste her sweetness. God, he even had to be careful in how he looked at her or how often! Once filming began, it helped him focus, but a part of him was still aware of where she was at all times. What was worse, when he met her gaze, he could see she longed for the same.

Lunch was little better. Though he made certain to keep the appropriate amount of distance between them, he kept his ankle plastered to hers. It helped some to alleviate the desire to touch her. At one point, her ankle moved and he thought maybe he’d overstepped, but then he felt her foot wrap itself around his ankle and rub the tiniest bit. He fumbled with his fork but otherwise showed no outward appearance of anything happening. Ben found he couldn’t eat much, however, his stomach too tied up in knots over whether he and Rey were convincingly acting as if nothing had changed.

As the day wore on, Ben found himself slipping more and more, creating situations that allowed him to brush by Rey, touch her fully, or to smell her hair. Rather than helping, each moment made his desire that much worse so he continued looking for ways to ease his need, which bordered on desperation by dinner. Watching Rey’s tongue peek out and wet her lower lip, her eyes on him, drove him to distraction. Dinner didn’t go any better.

“Ben, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Lifting his eyes from his plate, Ben met Gigi’s gaze. “Uh, sure.” Briefly, he caught Rey’s eyes before getting up and following his co-star to a spot they couldn’t be overheard.

“Is there something wrong, Gigi?”

“Yes, actually. Would you just find a private spot and  _ kiss  _ her already?”

Ben paled. How had she known? Or was she just suspicious? “I - I don’t know what you mean.”

Gigi rolled her eyes. “Please, Ben. I can practically feel the attraction between you and Rey. I’ve watched the two of you all day, have seen all the telltale signs. Hell, you’ve been flirting with each other for days! Do something about it.”

Ben hurriedly scanned around them for anyone close enough to overhear. “We have not!”

“Oh, Ben, yes, you have. All the jokes. The little debates. The witty banter. The touches. Classic flirtation.” 

“Keep your voice down! You know why we can’t, not here.”

The actress waved off his argument with a wave of her hand. “Rumors. Yes, I know, but this tension is getting ridiculous. You’re not doing as great a job at hiding this as you think you are. Julian’s noticed, too. Hey, I’m even willing to offer up my trailer for you two, but I would still have to be there.”

Ben groaned, one hand sliding over his face as he leaned against the wall. If Gigi and Julian had noticed, then it was only a matter of time before anyone else did. Then what? He let out a sardonic laugh. When it came to his movie roles, he could act rather well. When it came to Rey, apparently, he couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag!

“For what it’s worth, Ben, you have mine and Julian’s support. That girl’s changed so much since she’s been here and it’s thanks to you. There used to be this darkness in her eyes, but you’ve driven it out.  _ You _ . To be honest, I’ve suspected something might happen from the beginning. That first day, I watched you stand still and let her take those pictures, something I know you hate. Rey was uncomfortable around every man here except you. So, yeah, I saw this coming a mile away.”

“She’s so young, though.’

“So what? Ben, she’s not the only one I’ve seen a change in. You’ve been less intense since she arrived here. If she makes you happy, then what does age matter? Who cares what anyone else says or thinks?”

Ben scowled fiercely down at his co-star. “I do, Gigi. I do. She’s strong, yes, but you know what this business is like. They could tear her apart.”

“Or, she could give them all the bird. My point is, you should let her decide what she wants. If she wants you, then grab onto it with both hands.”

Helplessly, Ben laughed. “I don’t think I have another option. Literally within hours, Rey has become my everything. This time yesterday, I saw her no differently and then it hit me.” He looked up at the other woman. “You’re going to need to tell her that you and Julian know. If she hears it from me, she’ll think I said something after telling her no one here could know.”

“Oh, well, that’s easy to fix. Wait here. In fact,” Gigi pushed Ben further into deeper shadows, “don’t move.”

Ben watched her walk away, knowing she was heading for Rey and would be bringing her back. God, he needed to touch her, really touch her, so much. And kiss her. And smell her hair. And feel the softness of her skin. He, quite simply, needed her. When they stopped ten feet away, Ben practically growled, his hands curling into fists, itching for her. It was insane to feel this way, but feel it he did. Then, Rey looked his way, eyes wide. Gigi gave her a shooing motion in his direction. Her entire face lit up and she dashed his way, her cameras bouncing.

In less than two seconds, his arms were full of Rey, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss. Her fingers threaded through his hair, curling to hold tightly. The scrape of her nails against his scalp sent shivers through him. Fuck, she smelled just as good, felt just as soft, tasted just as sweet as he remembered. Rey let out a little mewling whimper that stoked the fire in him even higher as she attempted to get closer to him. He agreed. She wasn’t nearly close enough. 

Lowering his arms, Ben wrapped them about her hips and lifted high enough that he had to lean his head back in order to keep kissing her. A deep moan escaped between his lips when her legs encircled his waist. Utilizing the wall, he pressed her back against it, chest to chest, until nothing separated them, and luxuriated in truly being with Rey again. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he feared he was being too aggressive, but he couldn’t slow himself down. His lungs did it for him.

Burying his face into her shoulder, Ben labored to get some much-needed air. Once some of the fog cleared from his brain, he realized he had another dilemma. How was he supposed to let Rey down without her noticing his response? Obviously, he hadn’t been thinking.

“You dead yet?” she asked, voice husky and raw. 

Rey’s reference to the number of times he’d told her she was killing him, made Ben chuckle breathlessly. He had half a mind to let her slide a little lower and show her just how  _ not  _ dead he was, but they weren’t ready for that aspect yet. Okay, physically, yes, they were. Or, he was, at least, and was fairly certain she felt the same as far as that went. Emotionally, however, they just weren’t there yet. He didn’t believe their relationship was strong enough to add physicality to the mix. Not yet.

“Not yet, sweetheart, but if we keep this up, I might be soon.” 

Rey’s soft laughter feathered across his ear, forcing Ben to swallow a moan at the sensation. Now that he could function properly again, he pushed them away from the wall so he could lower her to her feet. She seemed to understand his intention since she released his waist, which gave Ben the opportunity to guide her hips far enough away from his own to hide his arousal.

“Hey, Gigi, have you seen Ben?”

Ben stared down at Rey, frozen for half a second. Ever so slowly, he turned his back to the other person, attempting to shield Rey from view. Gigi had been lurking about? While he and Rey …? 

Gigi’s voice, though soft, drifted back to where Ben and Rey stood. “I have. I’m kind of playing lookout for them at the moment.”

“Oooooh. So, we were right, huh? Well, it’s about time. If you hadn’t done something, I would have.” There was a throat-clearing and then, “Uh, you might tell them that filming will begin again soon.”

Ben sighed at the intrusion but he had known it would come eventually. At least it was Julian and not someone else. The other silver lining was that it effectively took care of his … problem. Taking Rey by the hand and locking their fingers together, he led them out of the shadows.

“Thanks for the heads-up, Julian.”

Julian wore a little smirk as his gaze jumped from Ben to Rey. “No problem. I’m sure Gigi’s told you, but I just wanted to say it, too. I see nothing. I know nothing.”

Ben gave his other co-star an acknowledging nod. “I appreciate that.”

“Hey, Rey, if you ever get tired of this guy … ” Julian received a scowl so dark he took a step back. “Yeah, forget I said anything. I was only kidding anyway. I get it. Bad joke. She’s not exactly my type anyway, if you get my meaning.”

“Alright, well, since I don’t need to play guard anymore, I’ll see you around.”

“Gigi! Thank you.”

Gigi smiled back at him. “Glad I could help, Ben.”

As the two walked off, Ben faced Rey, more than a little self-conscious, cheeks burning. “Uh, Rey, if I was a little too … strong … with you, then I want to apologize. I didn’t mean to be.”

She stared at him blankly for a moment. He knew the instant she interpreted his meaning. “You weren’t.” She tilted her head to the side, her gaze steady on his. “You seem to be laboring under a false impression.” Her voice lowered. “I’m not innocent. I’m not a virgin. Miss Blonde Assistant Bimbo is wrong. I know exactly what I’m doing, and I know exactly what it does to you, so you can stop hiding it.” The last she said with a cheeky grin.

Ben let out a little laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Notice that, did you? I just don’t want to scare you off with how much I - ” He scanned the area, looking for eavesdroppers. Finding none, he continued, “how much I want you. I will never try to make you do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know that, Ben. You don’t scare me. To be honest, I don’t think you ever really did. Something about you screamed safety.”

Ben smiled softly down at her. “That’s nice to know. I think … I think you piqued my interest from the first day. I just didn’t realize it until I was knocked over the head with it.” He scanned the area around them again and sighed. “We should go back separately. I’ll go first, then after a few minutes - two or three - you come along.”

“Makes sense. I’ll see you later.”

Ben took several steps, turned back to Rey, and gave her a quick wink before heading back to the building being used for filming.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Friendships Formed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Thank you all for the comments and the kudos! They really make my day!

**_Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief._ **

**_-Marcus Tullius Cicero_ **

  
  


Those few minutes seemed to last forever to Rey. Who knew precisely how long three minutes actually were? Oh, she understood the necessity for her and Ben to return to the filming area at different times, and the last thing she wanted was for any rumors to start and ruin Ben’s reputation. A giddy smile spread across her face as she thought of the last several minutes. Being back in Ben’s arms, his lips on hers, kissing her as if he were starving and she was his nourishment … She shivered in excitement. God, the man knew how to kiss! And the way he’d picked her up as if she’d weighed nothing at all …? Swoon! The  _ sweetheart  _ usage simply made her heart melt!

She let out a snicker at Ben’s misguided attempt to hide his very natural reaction to her and his sheepish embarrassment when she called him out on it. Sitting on his lap last night had told her all she’d needed to know. They may not have been hip to hip - which ultimately was a good thing or she wouldn’t have been able to restrain herself - but she’d been close enough to know he’d been affected. Then, just a bit ago, when he’d set her on her feet, she’d felt him, despite his effort to avoid it. Oh, it had been a barely-there brush, but it had been enough. She hadn’t lied when she’d told Ben she wasn’t innocent, but Rey refused to think about that. That was the past. The days she’d been here - had it really only been days, maybe a week or two - had helped her heal more than she thought possible. Or, maybe it was just Ben and his gentleness … when they weren’t kissing, of course. That’s when he let his passionate side out to play. It was a heady sensation to think  _ she  _ brought that out in him.

Checking her watch, Rey cursed. She’d been standing there daydreaming for over five minutes! Although, who better to daydream about than Ben? Still, she had a job to do. She ran over to the soundstage, took a few precious seconds to catch her breath, then stole inside, making every effort to be as quiet as possible. They were already in the middle of one of Ben’s scenes. Making sure her shutter sound was set to  _ Off _ , she began. On occasion, she caught Gigi’s or Julian’s gaze and she blushed, thankful for the darkened set. She and Ben had wanted to keep things private, but she couldn’t deny it was nice to have someone on their side to run interference if needed. And damn, if it hadn’t been needed today! Maybe it was just the newness of the relationship that had her wanting,  _ needing _ , to touch him all the time, but secretly, she hoped not.

Filming ran late that night since they’d be missing the following day. As it wrapped up, Rey knew a moment of panic when she remembered she’d be going to Ben’s house and meeting his other close friend. She glanced down at her simple jeans and t-shirt. They were fine for working on set, but they were a bit too casual for meeting friends. Ben probably had a luxury car and an even more luxurious house. She’d stick out like a sore thumb! Maybe she’d have a chance to throw something else on before going to his house. Oh, she wouldn’t wear anything fancy - not that she owned anything that could be considered as such. Maybe one of her knee-length skirts and a nice blouse. Add a pair of flats and she’d be good. Or a pair of slacks and blouse. Anything would be better than what she currently wore.

To Rey’s eternal gratitude, Gigi and Julian accompanied her and Ben as they walked out to Rey’s car. It allowed her and Ben to have a little extra time together without it looking suspicious to anyone. After a few minutes more of idle chatter, Gigi and Julian left. Rey struggled with how to phrase what she wanted to ask next, but Ben beat her to it.

“Give me your address in case we get separated.”

_ In case we get separated.  _ Well, that answered that question. Very aware of the fact she didn’t live in the greatest of neighborhoods, Rey dug out her phone and texted him the information. Ben knew it, too, if his expression was anything to go by once he’d read it. If he followed her to her place,  _ he’d  _ be the one to stick out like a sore thumb.

“You can just go home, you know. Give me  _ your  _ address and I can get myself there.”

The phone in her hand buzzed another notification, immediately followed by another. Curious as to who else would be contacting her this late - Rose never did - Rey checked the messages and froze.  _ I see you.  _ Followed by a photo of her and Ben just as they were. As if from a distance, she felt her phone slip from her nerveless fingers, fear rushing through her, muting everything but the racing of her pulse. Oh, God, he’d found her! She should have realized she couldn’t run and hide from him forever. Why did it have to be now, when she’d finally started living again? Why now when she’d found an incredible person whom she could easily fall for, and probably already had?

A light touch on her arms had her nearly jumping out of her skin until she realized it was Ben and he was trying to get her to do something. “What?” she barely managed to ask.

“Get in your car. Now. Don’t go anywhere until I return with mine. I will stay behind you every step of the way to your apartment.”

His hard voice and clenched jaw should have terrified her, but it didn’t. Rey climbed into her car and only then realized Ben had her phone when he began texting something. There was a quick exchange and then he used it to make a call before handing it back.

“Rey?” an unknown voice asked through the somewhat tinny speaker of her phone.

Ben gave her a nod. “Lock your doors. I’ll be back in a moment.”

After making sure each of her doors was locked, Rey realized she hadn’t answered the voice on her phone. “Yes?” she forced out through numbed lips.

“Hi. My name is Tage Hux. I’m the third party in that oddball trio you’ve yet to meet. I’m going to be keeping you company while Ben retrieves his car and on the ride to your place. Okay?”

The voice was calming, soft and it helped to ease her fear somewhat. “Uh, okay?”

“Let me tell you about myself. I’m a police detective, married to a lovely woman, no kids, but we have dogs. Two dogs. Phasma has a Great Dane named Zeus. I swear he thinks he’s a human as he tries to claim our bed as his own. My Chancy is a rescue Doberman. He’s lovable if he likes you, aloof if he only tolerates you and can be downright nasty if he senses something off about you.”

Rey’s eyes constantly scanned her surroundings. Off in the middle distance, she thought she saw headlights come on. Setting her phone in the passenger seat, she gripped her steering wheel as if it was her lifeline. The headlights arced and headed her way. Once the car reached her, window down, she realized it was Ben and relaxed a little.

“Alright, sweetheart, lead the way. I’ll be right behind you.”

Should she take Ben back to her place? She didn’t want him caught up in her troubles. He didn’t deserve that. “Maybe I shouldn’t - ”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Rey. I have your address, remember? I’m not letting you go back there alone.”

“Ben won’t back down on this, Rey. Just do as he asks. It would be smart to let him follow you home.”

With a shaky nod, Rey started her car and headed for the exit. The longer she drove, the more her thoughts got the better of her. She should leave. Ben would eventually get over her and find someone worthy of him. She certainly wasn’t. The only thing keeping her from breaking down entirely was the fact she needed to see in order to drive. Constantly swiping at her eyes and nose only helped a little.

“Talk to me, Rey. Tell me anything you want. Just keep talking.”

“I think I should leave. It’s been great here but if I go, he’ll go with me and leave Ben alone.”

“And what do you think that would do to Ben? Or to yourself, for that matter?”

The kindly asked questions brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. “He’ll get over me. I’m not worth getting hurt over. If I can protect him, I’ll do it. Whatever it takes.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Rey. You obviously haven’t realized it yet, but Ben is completely in love with you. I should know. I’ve seen him when he talked about you. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone. If you left, you would be ripping his heart out, and I don’t think he’d ever recover.”

Stopped at a light, Rey allowed a few sobs to escape before she had to pull herself together. “At least he’d be alive.”

“Would he, though? If you’re not with the one you love most in the world, are you truly living?”

Brokenly, Rey pleaded with the voice on the phone. “Stop trying to confuse me!”

“I’m not trying to confuse you. I’m trying to get you to think. Ben is a former Marine. Or, rather,  _ is  _ a Marine. There’s no such thing as a former Marine, to hear him tell it. He can take care of himself. Give him that chance.”

The light turned green and Rey continued on. “I don’t want him to get hurt. Can’t you see that?”

“What I see is a woman ready to sacrifice everything she’s worked so hard to gain and doesn’t realize she isn’t the woman she used to be. The woman I see is stronger, more confident now. She’s even learned to open her heart, even if it was to the nerdiest of our little circle of friends.”

That drew a watery chuckle from Rey. “He kind of forced his way in, but gently. I didn’t even realize it until it was too late.”

“Yeah, that’s our Ben. Faster than a speeding turtle. More powerful than a toy locomotive. Able to walk over tall buildings in a single step.”

Despite the situation, Rey found herself laughing a little. “That’s not very nice.”

Sounding completely unapologetic, the voice on the line said, “Maybe not, but it made you laugh, at least. All joking aside, I beg you to consider what kind of life you really want. If it’s Ben you want, don’t let someone else chase you off. Stand and fight. Show who you’ve become, not who you were.”

It wasn’t truly that simple, was it? She knew what she wanted to do but didn’t know if she had the strength to do it. Ben’s friend seemed content to let her think, only occasionally speaking up to confirm she was still there. By the time she’d reached her apartment building, she’d made her decision and it terrified her.

Picking up her phone, she said. “Okay, I’m here. Thanks.”

“Don’t hang up yet. Put Ben on the line. You’re welcome.”

Climbing out of her car, it surprised her to find Ben already rounding her trunk and reaching for her phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Hey, Tage.” As Ben listened to whatever it was his friend was telling him, he reached out and pulled Rey into his chest, holding her close. She felt him sigh and relax when her arms wrapped themselves around him. “Yeah. I appreciate it. See you soon.”

“I’m sorry, Ben, for mixing you up in my trouble.”

The arm around her waist tightened, his other hand sliding into her hair. She felt a gentle kiss press against her temple. “I’m exactly where I want to be, Rey. Never doubt that.”

Looking up into Ben’s shadowed face, she slid her hands up to rest along each side of his jaw. “It’s where I want you to be, too.”

The huge sigh he let out seemed so filled with relief that Rey wondered if Tage had told Ben what she had thought of doing. She wasn’t certain she wanted to know. Then, his lips were descending to meet hers and she gave herself up to him, needing the reassurance nearly as much as he did. Though it was brief, it was no less passionate.

Ending the kiss he nodded to the back seat, where she’d inadvertently left her equipment the night before, too caught up in the euphoria of a relationship with Ben. “Let’s get your camera stuff up to your apartment.” With his arms loaded with everything, he looked down at her in expectation, his brows drawing together. “What?”

“I guess I thought you’d prefer to stay in your car. I mean, if you’re recognized, it’ll be a madhouse.”

“I don’t care about that now. I’m walking you all the way. We’ll take my car to my place. I’ll bring you back later.”

Rey wasn’t quite convinced it was a good idea but didn’t argue. “If you’re sure. I’ll try to curb Rose’s enthusiasm if she’s there.”

Ben graced her with a crooked grin. “I have one of those, too, remember. Finn’s like one of those yapping little dogs sometimes.”

With a little laugh, Rey headed for her building. “Maybe we should introduce them sometime. They’d cancel each other out.” She held a hand out. “You know, I can carry something.”

Ben glanced down at his full arms. “Take your camera bag if you want. I’d hate to drop it. Everything else is fine.”

Rey took the precariously perched case. Nothing more was said, though she did keep a lookout for anyone around, and especially anyone who might recognize Ben’s face. Finally arriving at her door, she pulled out her keys but tested the knob first to see if Rose was home. It turned easily. Oh, boy, here goes nothing!

The instant Rey stepped inside, she saw Rose on the couch facing the door, on her computer as she often was. Rose looked up and smiled. “Hey, Rey, all ready for - ”

Rose’s eyes went comically wide, her jaw dropped. Rey knew instantly that Ben had stepped in behind her. Weakly, Rey attempted introductions. “Ben, this is my roommate Rose. Rose, well, obviously you already know.”

“Where do you want your equipment?”

Rey scanned the immediate area and decided on a spot that wouldn’t take him too close to Rose, not certain her roommate would contain herself if he drew too close to her. “Just right there behind the chair is fine. If you can give me a couple of minutes, I’ll be ready to go.” At his nod, Rey turned to Rose. “Quit staring and come with me.”

Rose dragged her gaze from Ben. Rey grabbed her by the arm and pulled her along to Rey’s bedroom. The shutting of the door loosened Rose’s tongue. “Oh my God, Rey! You’ve been holding out on me! I cannot believe Ben Solo is right here in our apartment.” 

“Rose, you have to - ”

Rose turned her wide gaze back onto Rey. “ _ He’s  _ why you were in such a good mood this morning, isn’t he? You’re dating, aren’t you?”

Rey pulled out a pair of khaki slacks and a casual but nice dark green blouse and began changing her clothes. “Rose, swear to me that you will keep that information to yourself. We’re trying to keep it quiet for obvious reasons.”

Rose sighed dramatically. “Well, there goes all my hopes and dreams, but hey, as long as one of us gets tall, dark, and delicious, I don’t mind so much. Actually, you deserve him. I’ll keep your secret for you. You can count on that.”

Rey shot her an appreciative look. “Thank you.” Then she beamed. “Yes, he’s the reason. Oh, God, Rose there’s so much I want to tell you, but I don’t have time right now. We’re going back to his place to meet up with his friends, one of which I’ve already met.” Sobering, Rey warned, “Hey, be careful, will you? Watch your back at all times. Be on the lookout for anything suspicious.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“The reason I left New York is now here. In fact, you should probably move out or go stay with someone. Things could get ugly.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Rey. I’m your friend, remember?”

Rey, now fully dressed, hugged her friend. “Yes, I do. Thank you.” Finding her phone, she pulled up the last phone number called and wrote it down. “This number belongs to one of Ben’s friends, a police detective. His name is Tage Hux. Call him if you need anything.’

“Alright, but don’t worry about me. Go. Have some fun. We’ll talk more later.”

After running a brush through her hair, Rey headed back to their living room. Ben stood there, hands in his pockets, nearly filling the space with his presence. His eyes roamed over her briefly before meeting hers and Rey could easily see that he liked what she’d chosen to wear. It was a quick flash, but she’d seen it. Realizing what he must be thinking, Rey filled him in.

“She knows and has been sworn to secrecy. Oh, I gave Rose Tage’s number in case something happens. Do you think he’ll mind?”

“Not in the least. Personally, I’d feel better knowing, if something were to happen, that he’d be monitoring things. He may not be able to take the case, but he could keep an eye on it. He’s great at what he does.”

“Well, I’m ready to go. Rose, I’ll be back later.”

With a little snort, Rose quipped, “I’m not your mother. You don’t have to report to me. Have fun.”

Tossing her friend a nervous wave, Rey grabbed her purse and led Ben through the door. Feeling the need to fill the silence, she rattled on. “That went better than I expected. I thought for sure Rose would lose it completely and I’d have to beat her back from you.” Through the corner of her eye, she caught the color rising in Ben’s cheeks and giggled. “I did have to promise to tell her everything, though. Both days’ worth.”

“So, it’ll be a quick conversation, then.”

Reminiscent of the faux pitying look Ben had once given her when she’d told him he wasn’t what she expected him to be, Rey shook her head. “Oh, Ben, you have no idea.”

Once in the parking lot, she felt more than saw Ben tense and was instantly reminded of Tage’s declaration.  _ He is a Marine. He can take care of himself. Give him the chance.  _ Rey suddenly understood, for Ben was giving off these  _ Don’t even think of messing with me  _ vibes that made her shiver in delight. She felt incredibly safe with Ben, more so now than ever. Reaching his car, he held the door open for her. She had to admit she was surprised he didn’t own a Jaguar. She’d pegged him for a Jaguar-type. Well, sort of. Still, the car screamed luxury nonetheless, from its push-button start and wood inlays to its leather seats. She cataloged everything about the roomy interior, gasping at the sunroof and the fact that Ben Solo could drive a manual. It was something she’d always wanted to learn. Buckling her seat belt, she quickly realized the possible reason Ben had chosen this car. When he climbed into the driver’s seat, he didn’t appear to be cramped in the least.

Trying not to stare, she watched him easily manipulate the gearshift, smoothly transitioning from one gear to the next. Shifting to the higher gears had the backs of his fingers brushing against her leg, not that Rey minded. In fact, she lightly returned the favor, smiling when his fingers began caressing her.

“You’re rather quiet. Are you okay?”

Surprisingly, Rey discovered that she truly was. Tage had been right. She wasn’t the woman who allowed her boyfriend to rule over her, to submit to his every whim whenever he wanted it. She had been beaten down before, but she was much stronger now, thanks in large part to the man beside her. He’d come into her life and had broken down the walls she’d built. His kindness found its way into her heart where it, by some miracle, blossomed into something more. She knew now that Ben had been the one she’d been looking for without realizing she’d been looking in the first place.

“Actually? Yes, I think I am. Listen, I think I should tell you something. I’m fairly certain I know who sent that message and the picture.”

Ben seemed to go as still as he could while driving, sparing her a quick glance. “Oh?”

“I was with someone for a while, someone who used to … uh … ”

“Rey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Besides, I think I can put the pieces together easily enough.”

Rey bit her lip, a flutter of anxiety blooming in her chest. “What makes you say that?”

“Actions speak louder than words. I noticed the way you shied away from every man you came into contact with. No one does that without a really good reason and it tears me up inside to know you went through that.”

Now that she was so close to talking about what happened, Rey found she actually did want to share the details. “I’d been with Wren for a little over a year. He found me selling some of my pictures on the street and took an interest in me. I was stupid and flattered. It didn’t take long for me to realize he wasn’t like I thought he was, that he had a terrible temper. Stupid me thought I could help him, so I stayed. In time, I was too cowed to even consider leaving. When I ended up in the hospital, I knew. He’d kill me if I stayed, so when I could, I packed all of my belongings and moved as far from New York as I could get.”

“Wren. As in the President of First Order Electronics and Technologies? That Wren?”

Rey let out a sarcastic laugh. “The one and only.”

“God, sweetheart, you were lucky. The man’s volatile temper is legendary.”

Because he sounded as if he needed the comfort, Rey took his hand from the gearshift and threaded their fingers together. “Yeah. I only received one scar out of the entire episode that night.”

That, apparently, had been the entirely wrong thing to say. Ben’s fingers tightened almost painfully against her own. His other hand should have broken the steering wheel he gripped it so hard. His entire body tensed. The look he shot her would have, at one point, terrified the bejesus out of her, it was that dark. Rey knew better now, knew it wasn’t directed  _ at  _ her but  _ in defense of  _ her. For a brief moment, she felt sorry for Wren because if Ben ever met the man, there would be no mercy given.

“He  _ marked  _ you? The fucking son of a bitch  _ marked  _ you?”

“It was months ago, Ben. It’s what drove me out here.” More softly, Rey added, “It’s what brought me to you.”

That seemed to work to bring down Ben’s temper. The hand she held loosened somewhat. The other eased its grip on the steering wheel finger by finger as he visibly relaxed. “True, but I still despise the fact you had to endure that first. I’ll give his name to Tage, but until there’s any real proof … ”

“Nothing can be done, I know. Tage seems like a great friend. He talked me down off a ledge I was more than prepared to fall from, made me think instead of blindly react.”

“He’s always been good at that, which is why he’s so good at his job.” There was a lengthy pause in conversation before he continued softly. “I would have followed you. Anywhere you went, I would have followed you there. I’m not going to willingly let go of you.”

Oh, God, what a wonderfully romantic thing to say! She'd witnessed Ben’s gentleness, his passion, and now his romanticism. Lord, how she loved this man! She didn't care that it seemed impossibly quick. She only cared that he felt the same, and, according to Tage, Ben did. With Ben at her side, she didn't have to be afraid. Lifting their joined hands, she pressed a kiss against the back of his.

"I would hope you wouldn't."

The smile Ben bestowed upon her was so tender it brought tears to her eyes. "Never. I don't care that it's only been a day. You've become so important to me, Rey. More than I ever thought possible."

"You mean a lot to me, too, Ben. You've done so much for me in a very short amount of time. In all honesty, I don't think I'd have healed as much as I have if it weren't for you."

Ben shook his head. "Don't give me that much credit. That's all you, sweetheart."

Rey didn't believe that for a minute, but let it go. There were fewer lights around them now. Rey looked up at the sky through her window, then realized she had a better view through the sunroof. 

"Would you like me to open it?"

Pulling her gaze from the darkened patch of sky, Rey shook her head. "Oh. No. It's fine. I was just enjoying the view."

"You sure?”

"It's a little cold, isn't it?"

In response, Ben released her hand, reached above them, and pushed a switch, opening the sunroof a quarter of the way, letting in the cool night air. "Let me know if you get cold."

Yes, the created breeze was chilly, but it was also invigorating. It spoke of fresh starts, a new life. Though the idea of Wren having found her here did scare her, Rey no longer felt alone and was more than ready to exorcise her past so she could really have the future she wanted. The rest of the way was spent in companionable silence. Before she knew it, they had pulled up to a black cast iron, gently arching gate, which swung open when Ben tapped a button on the dash. It made sense that he would want his privacy, and he definitely needed to keep trespassers out. What kind of house would he have? Large and ostentatious? Probably not, but most likely bigger than she’d ever seen or been inside.

As they drew closer to the house, Rey saw it wasn’t some opulent mansion, but certainly wasn’t average, either. Light poured from numerous windows, giving the Spanish-style home a warm and inviting feel. Two cars were already parked out front.

Rey hadn’t expected that. With a tremor in her voice, she asked. “They’re here already?”

Ben looked over at her as they parked in the garage. “Don’t be nervous, Rey. You’ve already met Finn, and you practically know Tage.”

Rey drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I guess you’re right. I’m just being stupid.”

“Of course, you aren’t. That sounds like something Wren would say to you. I never want to hear that from you again.”

Instead of replying, Rey climbed out of the car and met Ben at the trunk, taking the hand he held out for her, a reassuring smile curving his lips. He threaded their fingers together before leading her to and through his front door.

“Hey, they’re here!” Finn’s excited shout rang out. “And holding hands? What the hell? Since when?”

“Yeah, imagine that. Honestly, Finn,” Ben wryly said, “must you act like an excitable chihuahua?”

The inside of Ben’s house looked homey, comfortable, with its exposed beam ceilings, reddish stone flooring, arched doorways, and open, airy rooms, quickly putting Rey at ease. She never would have believed an actor lived here if she had simply seen photographs. Two people headed their way, a man with slicked-back, bright red hair that brushed past his collar and a woman whose short hair was a pretty golden blonde. Red hair. Oh, God, this must be Tage. Rey felt her cheeks heat as their phone conversation replayed in her mind, how he’d had to talk her out of running. It wasn’t a moment she was proud of.

“Rey, it’s good to finally meet the girl who’s caught Ben’s attention.”

The woman who had followed him smacked his arm. “Don’t embarrass the girl. Hi, I’m Phasma. I belong to this one.” She hooked her thumb in Tage’s direction then held out her hand. “Come on, let’s chat, shall we? There’s way too much testosterone in this room.” She looked past Rey to Ben. “Oh, relax Ben, I’m not stealing her away permanently. You’ll get her back.”

Only then did Rey realize the tight grip on her hand and she looked up at Ben to find he didn’t seem all that happy. Was there something wrong? Was he mad that Tage had brought his wife? Phasma seemed to think Ben didn’t want to let her go, which was simultaneously endearing and irritating. Well, what better way to start her new life than by trusting those closest to Ben? Besides, it would be nice to have another female friend. 

Releasing his hand, she gave him a couple of reassuring pats on his back before leaving his side. She reached Tage first and gave him a tentative smile. “It’s nice to put a face to a name and voice. Thank you for what you said. You’ll never know how much I appreciate it.”

“Hey, I didn’t tell you anything you didn’t already know. I’m glad you’re here, though.”

“I, uh, gave your number to my roommate in case something happened while we’re gone. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. Actually, I’m glad you did. It’ll keep me in the loop if something does occur, but don’t worry about that.”

“Come on into the kitchen with me, Rey. We’ll get the boys something to drink.”

Rey followed the woman into a kitchen that was just as comfortably cozy as the living room. A dining table that didn’t appear overly used stood off to the side. The breakfast island in the middle of the room, however, did if the wearing on the stool seat was anything to go by.

“Not what you expected, is it?” Phasma asked, humor in her voice.

“I’ve learned to expect the unexpected where Ben is concerned.”

Phasma chuckled lightly. “Probably the best policy. I remember when I first met Ben and Finn. I was so nervous. I kept thinking  _ What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t fit in?  _ Finn I wasn’t so nervous about, really, but Ben … I was terrified. I mean, let’s face it, he’s not your average person. But, Ben being Ben, he made me feel welcome from the moment we met.”

Rey gently smiled as she remembered how Ben had treated her first day on set. “Yeah. He did that for me, too. He showed me around the set a little the first day I was there. Even stood still for my camera, and I know now how much he hates that kind of thing.”

Phasma’s delicate brows jumped in interest. “Oh? I’d heard about last night’s but didn’t realize there’d been an impromptu one. The first day, huh? Well, I’ll be damned. This isn’t as sudden as I thought, then.”

Heat rose in Rey’s cheeks. Apparently, the others thought things had moved rather quickly between herself and Ben, something she had thought, too. What if they had reservations? What if they felt she was just interested in Ben because of his status? Her heart began to pound and Rey automatically reached for a stick of gum, popping it into her mouth.

“Rey, honey, relax. I think nothing of the sort. None of us do. And before you ask, I could see what you were thinking. It looks like someone has shared one of his little tricks. I know you care for Ben. All I meant was that he must have seen something in you that sparked his interest from the beginning. He simply didn’t realize it or refused to acknowledge it until last night.”

Rey leaned against the island top, running a fingernail through a minuscule groove in its surface, her pulse calming. “Has it been too quick? I mean, I feel as if I’d known him forever. Can true feelings develop so fast?”

“I believe they can. I hadn’t known Tage long before I fell for him. Sometimes, the heart just knows and you’re better off simply following along. It can be scary but thrilling.”

“You can certainly say that again. The last thing I expected when I moved out here was to find someone as special as he is.”

“That’s when it normally happens. When you’re least expecting it.” Phasma pulled out her phone. “Give me your number. I’d like to be able to keep in touch. Feel free to call me whenever. I run a personal security firm, but am reachable most of the time.”

Rey rattled off her number and received a quick text from the other woman so Rey had her number. After adding the number into her contacts, she set her phone down. Remembering the exchange of texts when Ben had it, she pulled them up. Her jaw dropped at what he had typed.

_ Well, that’s a creepy hello. Why don’t you show me a picture of you instead? Isn’t that how this is supposed to work? _

_ Who the fuck is this? _

_ Oh, so now we get to the introductions. Hello, my name is Ben. What’s yours? _

_ The little slut knows exactly who I am. She’s going to regret leaving me. In fact, she’s going to come crawling back to me, begging for me to take her back. _

_ And you’d take her back? Really? If that’s what you think of her, why would you want her back? It’s to save face, isn’t it? Because no one dares to defy you. Well, pal, she did. Get over it. _

_ Fuck you, pal.  _

_ You’re not my type. Rey on the other hand … If you know what’s good for you, you'll leave Rey alone. _

“Oh. My. God.” Rey didn’t know whether to laugh or be appalled.

“What’s wrong?”

After giving a brief explanation about Wren, Rey handed over her phone so Phasma could read the exchange. She didn’t have any trouble as to how to react. She laughed. “Oh, God, that’s funny. Maybe not very smart but funny. If you haven’t figured it out by now, Ben doesn’t back down from a challenge.”

“I’ve noticed, but this time, it could get him hurt.”

Phasma laid a hand on Rey’s arm. “Listen, Ben is acting exactly like a man who is trying to protect the one he loves. Tage would do the same for me. You can be strong and independent and still enjoy letting someone else share in the burden or even take the entire burden onto his shoulders. Let Ben be Ben. The Marine in him won’t allow him to sit idly by while his love is threatened. It’s something you’ll just have to accept.”

Rey stared down at the collection of texts, a grin slowly stretching her lips. She snorted. “It  _ is  _ kind of funny. Wren probably didn’t know what to think.” She laughed at the mental image of him sputtering, undignified, at Ben’s responses.

Phasma dug into the fridge and pulled out several bottles of soda. “Ben doesn’t drink alcohol except for Hollywood events.” She handed Rey a bottle of Dr. Pepper. “This is his drink of choice. What would you like? Finn prefers Pepsi, so we have that. Tage is a Coke drinker. I’m more of a Sprite or Orange/Grape/Strawberry type.”

“Dr. Pepper is fine.”

“Let’s get these out to the boys before Ben decides I’m keeping you to myself all night.” Rey blushed, earning her a little chuckle. “Don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s great. I’ve known Ben for four years now and I’ve never seen him like this with anyone. In fact, he pretty much kept to himself. I’m just glad the one he’s given his heart to knows exactly how precious that is and feels the same for him.”

Heat still prickling in her cheeks, Rey assured her newest friend, politely depositing her gum in the trash. “I do. I really do. I’m going to quit questioning it and just enjoy it. I just wish I didn’t have so much baggage.”

“Oh, honey, we all have that in some form or another.”

“I have to say, I’m surprised you’re not concerned about our age difference.”

“Why would I be? I see how he is with you and the way you feel about him has been written all over your face while we’ve talked. No, I’m not in the least concerned.”

Returning to the living room, Rey saw that Ben, who now sat on one of the couches, had changed into a pair of well-worn jeans and t-shirt, his legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, his shoes off. He looked very relaxed. She briefly wondered if this was part of his nightly rituals when he got home. That thought set her face aflame again. Sitting beside him, she handed him his drink, doing her best to ignore his confusion. When he continued to look at her, she took out her phone and sent him a quick text. 

_ Just thinking about nightly rituals. _

Ben, having just taken a drink, checked his phone and choked, his entire face turning red, but he gave her a full smile nonetheless.

“Care to share?” Tage asked.

Ben shook his head unapologetically. “Nope. Inside joke.” 

Draping his arm across her shoulders, he pulled her back into his side. A faint spicy scent tantalized her nose.  _ Damn, he smelled good! I could just sit and smell him all day. If I wasn’t kissing him all day, that is. _ His fingers absently toyed with the ends of her hair and Rey nearly sighed in contentment. Not having to keep her distance, to pretend she felt nothing more than friendship for him was a huge relief. She wasn’t sure she could keep it up, but she’d certainly try. She just hoped she didn’t lose it and attack Ben in between takes.  _ That  _ wouldn’t go over well.

For the next few hours, Rey heard all kinds of tales, some just about Ben and others that included the three friends. The more they talked, the less self-conscious she became, and the more she leaned into Ben, her back to his chest. She laughed at how each friend tried to one-up the other in their tales as well as the stories they told. She laughed more and harder than she could remember in a long time, to the point her stomach muscles hurt and tears leaked from her eyes.

Though she didn’t have much to contribute to the conversations, Rey enjoyed watching the four interact, especially Ben, who practically came alive with them. No mention was ever made about the text and photo she had received. It was nice to forget about it, if only for a while. As time wore on, Rey sunk a little further into the couch, stifling the occasional yawn. Before long, her head rested against Ben’s chest, fighting the fatigue that wanted to drag her down. In the end, the combination of his scent, his steady heartbeat, and his body heat became too much to overcome.

BR

Coming back to awareness, Rey took note of a few things. A hand gently combed through her hair. A light kiss pressed against her forehead. Other than soft breathing, it was quiet. Remembering where she was, her eyes flew open. The others had left.  _ Oh, damn! I fell asleep!  _ Heat flooded her cheeks. Too embarrassed to face Ben, she buried her face against his chest with a little groan.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s fine. It was getting late anyway. I enjoyed being your pillow.”

Rey slowly lifted her head, running a hand over her face, and blinking blearily. “How long was I out?”

“Just under an hour.”

Elbows propped on her knees, Rey dropped her head into her hands with another groan. After checking her watch, she gasped. “Oh, my God. Two o’clock in the morning? Why didn’t you wake me? God, I’ve kept you up way too long.”

“Hey.” Ben reached out and, tenderly cupping her chin, brought her head around to face him. “It’s fine, Rey.” 

To prove his point, he softly brushed his lips against hers. Rey sighed into the kiss, reaching up to bury her hand in Ben’s hair, encouraging a more thorough one, which he seemed all too willing to oblige. In an instant, Rey found herself straddling his lap. Desire setting her on fire, she trailed kisses over his chin and down the column of his throat, nibbled his pulse point, then up to that tender spot behind his ear, his moan rumbling against her lips. Hungry for more, she widened her knees, lowering herself against him, moaning deeply at the contact.

“Oh, fuck, sweetheart.”

His arms tightened around her hips, holding her in place, as he licked, nibbled, and kissed every bit of her within reach. “Ben.” Rey leaned into his kisses, shivering when he reached the shell of her ear. “Oh, God, that feels good.”

The deep ache between her legs grew more persistent. Rey wiggled her hips against the bulging hardness beneath her, gasping and moaning when she felt his hips rise to grind against hers. Ben’s own sound of enjoyment rumbled in his chest. Somehow, the motion both eased and intensified her need. Feeling as though she were burning from the inside out, Rey pulled his lips back to hers, her tongue finding and tangling with his almost desperately. A needy sound escaping between her lips, she rocked her hips again, furiously attempting to relieve the throbbing in her center that continued to strengthen.

Ben shifted underneath her and, thinking he was going to call a halt to things, Rey let out a protesting whimper, clinging tightly to him. “Ben,” she pleaded.

“Ssh. It’s okay, sweetheart. Just getting more comfortable.”

After a little maneuvering, Rey found herself flush against Ben as he stretched out along the couch on his back. And, oh, God, she now felt the full effect of his hardness, chest to hips, against her. She felt as if she’d been electrified. Grabbing the couch arm with one hand and planting her other on the cushion under Ben, she practically attacked him, recapturing his lips, her tongue seeking out his, his scent and taste filling her completely. Beneath her, she felt him twitch, his hips thrusting. Countering his movement, Rey reveled in his helpless moan. Her own need spiraling, she continued the delicious friction, spurred on by Ben’s breathless gasps, moans, and occasional exclamations of appreciation.

Drowning in delicious sensation, her whole world narrowed to her need and the urgency to assuage it. Nothing else mattered. Rey couldn’t care if the sounds that escaped her control or the frantic motion of her hips made her the slut she’d been accused of being. At that moment, all she was capable of caring about was getting the relief that only Ben could give her, a relief she could attain if she just … kept … moving. Not that she could stop, anyway. 

Then, just like that, she could feel the pressure mounting, compressing down to one little spot. Little spasms had her inner walls clenching and unclenching. Any second now, her orgasm would be ripping through her.

Having abandoned any effort to continue the kissing in order to breathe, Rey dropped her forehead to Ben’s, vaguely registering the dampness of his skin. “Oh, God, Ben, I … I’m going to … ”

“Come for me, sweetheart. I want to watch you. I want to feel you.”

As if his words were the trigger she needed, her back arched as she ground against his hips one final time, every muscle in her body going taut, her breath catching in her lungs. Then … she flew apart.

“ _ BEN!” _

Almost violent wave after wave of pure pleasure flooded her system. Her hips continued to rock, roll, and grind against his in quick little movements, wringing out every bit of pleasure she could get. She felt him harden further beneath her, his own breathing just as ragged as hers, his hips losing rhythm, and Rey knew he had to be right there on the edge.

“Don’t hold back, Ben,” she gasped. Then, she threw his own words back at him. “Come for me. I want to feel you.”

With a growl deep in his throat, his arms tightened about her hips as his jerked with abandon once. Twice. “ _ REY! OH, GOD! OH, FUCK! OH, GOD, SWEETHEART!” _

For several long moments, they each rode out their releases, the sounds of ragged breathing and mutual enjoyment loud in the otherwise silent room. Eventually, only labored breathing remained. When Rey could think again, she didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or just amazingly satisfied. But what did Ben think? Did he think of her as exactly how Wren had described her? That thought sent a spear of pain straight to her heart. Swallowing with difficulty, she buried her face into the cushion. Ben shifted beneath her and tears leaked from Rey’s eyes. That was it. He hated her, hated what they’d shared. She’d ruined things between them.

To her surprise, Ben had only shifted them onto their sides, pressing her against the sofa back, one hand tenderly slipping her hair behind her ear, his thumb lightly wiping away the wetness on her cheek. 

“Rey? What’s wrong, sweetheart? Talk to me.”

“It’s just … I’m not … I don’t usually … and now you probably agree with Wren. Everything’s ruined now.”

“Oh, Rey,” Ben sighed sadly, wrapping her in his arms as best he could and kissing her forehead. “Nothing could be further from the truth. So we got a little carried away. I enjoyed every second of what we shared and look forward to doing so again. Nothing’s been ruined, sweetheart. I promise. Wren is an asshole who didn’t appreciate what he had. He wants to get back into your head. Don’t let him.”

Through her tears, Rey took in Ben’s concerned expression, the soft sincerity shining in his eyes, and hope bloomed in her chest. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Ben’s thumb caressed down her cheek, across her lips and over her chin before returning to its original position. “In fact, if this couch could talk, it would have one hell of a story to tell after you sent that picture. It’s seen more action in the last twenty-four hours than I have in several years.”

Ben’s sheepish grin and the color flooding his cheeks had Rey giggling a little. “Oh?”

Clearing his throat, he backpedaled. “Forget I said that.”

Feeling relieved that she hadn’t damaged their relationship, Rey shook her head as best she could, sniffled and jested, “Uh uh. You said it. Now, you can explain.”

“Well, let’s just say I began my own nightly ritual and pretended you were with me.”

Despite her own blush, hearing what he’d had to resort to doing made her feel unbelievably sexy and powerful, feelings she’d never experienced before. Emboldened, she let her hand skim lightly down his back, over his hip to his upper thigh where she paused, carefully noting his slight inhale and the subtle shift of his hips. She longed to touch him, to explore him, to hold him in her hand, even if it was through his clothes. She wanted him to know how it felt to really have her hand on him - for future reference. Oh, Lord, she was getting turned on again! 

“Touch me, Rey.”

Was that breathlessness she heard in his voice? He couldn’t possibly be ready again, could he? It had been one and done with Wren. She had just assumed it was that way with everyone. The thought that he might be ramped up her own arousal. Only one way to know for certain. Using the backs of her fingers, she took her time moving inward and discovered the answer to her internal question. He twitched beneath her fingers as she explored what she felt - and oh, boy, was he bigger than she’d thought - eliciting a hitched breath and moan from Ben. 

“God, sweetheart, that feels good. Don’t stop.”

The backs of her fingers traced down then up, keeping her touch feather-light. Turning her hand over, her thumb circled as much of the tip as possible before sliding back down. Ben’s rapidly increasing breaths and reflexive shift of his hips into her hand told Rey she was definitely doing something right, so she continued stroking him. Listening to him enjoying her ministrations increased her own desire and she was sorely tempted to grab his hand and place it where she needed it most but didn’t want to become distracted from her task.

“I need … Oh, God, harder. Faster.”

Ignoring the evidence of their previous activity, Rey increased the pressure she used as she slid her palm up and down, instantly rewarded with a deep moan and the press of his hips with each downward stroke.

“Fuck, yes, just like that!”

The harder he pressed into her hand, the more pressure she added to her strokes, which she quickly learned was the exact  _ right  _ thing to do.

“God, I need to … Help me come, sweetheart. Don’t stop.” Those pleas quickly changed to, “Fuck, I’m going to … I’m about to … ”

Ben thrust against her hand a final time. Rey held the pressure of her downward stroke, adding the lightest of squeezes. A series of little grunts and moans accompanied the rhythm of his hips as his orgasm hit him. Ignoring the growing damp spot beneath her hand, she resumed stroking him until his muscles went lax. Moving her hand back to his thigh, she waited for him to recover, thinking that had been the most erotic thing she’d ever done. It left her feeling more aroused than ever, but she pretended otherwise.

“That was … damn incredible,” Ben finally managed to say. “ _ You  _ were incredible. I really didn’t think I’d be able to do that again so quickly.”

Smiling cheekily, Rey quipped, “Now, you don’t have to imagine anymore. You can just remember this moment.”

Leaning in, Ben kissed her softly. “Let me return the favor?” he asked against her lips.

That put a hitch in her breath. “You want to?”

“Hell, yes, I do. I won’t if you don’t want it, though.’

Ben hadn’t minded the first round, hadn’t thought less of her for it. He wouldn’t this time, either. “Please.”

The one word, practically pleading, spurred him into action. Before Rey could formulate any kind of response, he had her in his arms, one at her back, the other under her knees, and was carrying her to another part of the house. His bedroom? That’s exactly where he ended up taking her. He didn’t let her go until she was lying on his bed.

“Nothing more than what we’ve already done, I promise. I just wanted us to be more comfortable. Damn, you look good in my bed.”

Lying beside her, he started with her nipples, using his thumb to tease them through her blouse into tighter buds than they already were, pulling whimpers of pleasure from her. Each little flick of his thumb sent darts of desire straight to her center. She tried pushing his hand downward and lifting her hips, but he simply stroked his fingers over her stomach before edging toward her hip. Rey moaned in desperation, doing her best to get his hand on her. Frustratingly slowly, it skimmed the inside of her thigh, prompting her to open up more. She held her breath, waiting for the contact that could very well send her over the edge all on its own.

At first, she felt the light brush of a finger, then two with a little more pressure and ground her hips against them. “Please, Ben.”

She’d expected to be teased a little more, so when he cupped her and, somehow finding her clit through her pants with the heel of his hand, began rubbing and rotating, it drove her higher. A fist full of comforter in one hand, the other clutching his shoulder, Rey bucked her hips against his hand, the pressure already building.

“Oh, God! Oh, don’t stop! I’m almost … Oh, God, Ben!”

As she had done for him, he continued stroking her through her release, only slowing as she began to come back to earth. Thoroughly exhausted, she struggled to get air into her lungs. She felt utterly boneless. She couldn’t have moved even if she’d wanted to - which she didn’t. She felt Ben’s hand glide lightly up her body to cup her cheek.

“You are so beautiful, Rey. I’ll never get tired of watching you come apart. But now, it’s time to get some sleep.”

“I don’t think I can move,” Rey said through a yawn.

“Good, because you’re not going anywhere.” 

Ben grabbed the extra blanket he often kept at the foot of his bed and covered Rey with it. Making certain his alarm was set, he slid under his comforter, spooning against her back. She didn’t like the barrier between them but was too tired to protest. With their hands mimicking their positions, fingers threaded together, and Ben’s light breaths feathering her cheek, Rey succumbed to her body’s demand for sleep. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  



	5. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who continue to read and to those who let me know your thoughts. It helps!

**_… What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter._ **

**_\-- George Orwell, 1984_ **

Ben arrived at the airport, suitcase in hand, looking a little worse for wear. It had been nearly four o’clock in the morning by the time he and Rey had gotten any sleep, and had to wake up early so he could get her back to her apartment. He hated leaving her at her door, but there’d been no other choice. A small smile curved his lips as he recalled waking up just a few hours ago to Rey nestled against his side, one leg thrown over his, a hand over his heart. It had been the best possible sight to wake up to. While he didn’t regret a single thing that occurred between them last night, he had a problem. He wanted Rey in his bed every day. He wanted her to be the first thing he saw every morning and the last thing he saw every night. 

Sitting in the small waiting area for the charter flight and waiting for the others to show, Ben ran a hand over his face, suppressing a yawn. He hadn’t anticipated how the night was going to end when he’d agreed to the get-together with Finn and Tage. He’d expected any and all sexual activity to come later, had  _ intended _ for it to come later. Ben snorted at his pun. However, he hadn’t the strength to deny them both what they’d wanted so badly. Damn, Rey had been so beautiful. The sight of her in the moment was etched forever into his mind. Round two had been a shock. He’d never been ready again that quickly, but talking about imagining her hand on him the night before had been enough. Now, he knew what the real thing was like. Fucking amazing! Touching Rey had been just as amazing. How in the hell was he going to keep his hands to himself for the next few weeks?

“Ben?”

Ben wearily looked up to see Julian heading his way. He gave him a nod. “Julian.”

“Fuck, man, you look like you’ve been ridden hard and put away wet. Are you alright?”

Ben let out an exhausted laugh.  _ What an apt description. Literally and figuratively.  _ “Something like that.”

“You and …  _ she  _ … didn’t have a fight, did you?”

“No, nothing like that. I was just … up late.” He laughed way harder at his second pun than what it merited.

“Well, someone sounds a bit punch drunk.”

Ben rubbed at his eyes and tried to calm down as Gigi dropped her suitcase next to a chair and sat. Julian helpfully replied, “He was up late last night.”

Ben caught the knowing tone Julian used and sighed. “We were talking and it got late.”

Gigi looked him over and said in obvious disbelief, “Uh huh. I’m sure there was conversation, but I seriously doubt it was all verbal.” She rubbed a spot on her neck. “Especially if this is anything to go by.”

Ben smacked a hand over the corresponding spot on his neck, realizing too late that he had no marks and that he’d been tricked. Glowering darkly at his female co-star, he said, “Can we move to a topic that does  _ not  _ include my private life, please?”

Julian clicked his tongue. “Tsk, tsk. So grumpy.”

Gigi shook her head. “Oh, come on, Ben. We tease because we care.”

Ben merely grunted in response. The film’s director and producer arrived next, followed closely by Rey, who didn’t look much better than Ben. Julian  _ tsk _ ’d at her, took her by the arm and pushed her into the seat next to Ben.

“You look tired. Have a seat.” He then nudged her closer to Ben. “In fact, Ben may make a pretty nice pillow and I doubt he’d mind.”

Ben shot him a look that clearly said  _ What the hell are you doing? _

Julian leaned toward them and whispered, “Easing certain people into seeing certain sights. Just go with it.”

Ben caught the close scrutiny Will gave him and Rey and nearly grimaced.  _ Shit, we might as well come clean. He’s going to figure it out eventually. _ He opened his mouth to bring up the topic when Will checked his watch and stood.

“Let’s get on board. We should be leaving soon.” He made a motion for Ben and Rey to hang back. Once the others had a bit of a lead on them, he looked first at one, then the other. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

Ben met Rey’s eyes, trying to decipher what she wanted him to say, but he couldn’t read her expression.  _ Damn, she looks so tired.  _ As he had the thought, his expression softened without him truly realizing it. A heavy sigh drew his attention back to Will.

“Yeah, I kind of thought so. Just keep it quiet, alright?”

Ben stared at the director in confusion. “What?”

“Listen, I don’t really care as long as you keep it quiet and keep it professional when it counts. Let’s get on the plane. You two could certainly use a nap.”

“But … how did you know? I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, you did, just not verbally. Tell me something. How long?”

Ben shrugged. “It started the night of the photoshoot.”

Will’s eyebrows jumped in surprise. “Really? You look at her the way you do after little more than a day?” He shook his head a little. “Alright. I’ll make sure you, Rey, Gigi, and Julian are all on the same floor. I can’t guarantee you’ll be the only ones, so practice discretion.”

Nothing more was said about it. After climbing aboard the plane and stowing their luggage, Ben found a seat not far from Rey. He tried not to glance in her direction too often, but his eyes kept straying to her. Currently, she sat curled up in her seat, leaning her head against the window, looking more asleep than awake. She looked cold. Ben shifted in his seat, returning his attention to the magazine in his hand, one that happened to include an article about Death Valley with Rey’s photos to accompany it. He had to admit, the photos were spectacular, capturing the play of light and shadow to perfection, showcasing the incongruity of life in a place mostly dead. One photo, however, disturbed him deeply. Taken at ground level, it showed a close shot of a rattlesnake, head slightly raised, tongue flicking, its body partially covered in sand. How fucking close did she get to the damn thing and why take such a risk? He let out an irritated breath through his nose.

“Something wrong?” Gigi asked from a couple of seats over.

Ben folded the magazine to display the full-page snake photo and handed it over. “Why? Just tell me why the hell she’d put herself in danger for a picture? How am I supposed to deal with that?” 

“It’s a great photo.” Catching sight of Ben’s glare, Gigi leaned toward him, saying softly, “This is who she is, Ben. It’s what she does. I seriously doubt she was as close as this seems to show. Let Rey be Rey. You’re going to have to reconcile this,” she held up the magazine then nodded in Rey’s direction, “with  _ her  _ in your mind.”

Running a hand over his face, Ben heaved a resigned sigh. “I know. I just hate the idea of her taking unnecessary risks.”

“Unnecessary to you, maybe. Think of it like this. To her, you doing some of your own stunts would be unnecessary. Still, you do them. Why?”

Confused as to where his co-star and friend was going with it, Ben did his best to explain. “Because it helps me feel the character more. It comes across as more authentic. I enjoy the thrill of it.” That’s when it clicked for him. “Oh. Yeah, I guess, huh?”

Gigi handed him back his magazine. “A little advice? Try to be supportive, even if you’re not comfortable with what she’s done.”

“I know.” And he did. He just couldn’t help worrying. “With this other development now, I can’t seem to stop worrying.”

“Other development?”

Ben shook his head, silently scolding himself for his slip. “I can’t say anything more. Just know that it isn’t good.”

Gigi nodded her head in understanding. “Enough said. Just remember. You need to lean on her as much as she leans on you. Otherwise, you’ll be a wreck.”

Ben nodded, remaining silent, as he contemplatively stared out the window. A minute later the engines revved up and they were taxiing toward the runway. Mere seconds later, the ground dropped quickly away. Returning his attention to the magazine, he finished the article and flipped to another that seemed promising, his gaze again straying to Rey, who had already fallen asleep, her lips slightly parted. He shifted in his seat at the memory of  _ why  _ the both of them were so tired, feeling a prickling sensation in his cheeks and ears. He wouldn’t trade any of it for anything. Yes, he’d wanted to wait for any physical activity between them, but he supposed it only fitting that it happened quickly. Was this what one called a whirlwind romance? If so, he’d do everything in his power to make it last.

Inevitably, Ben’s thoughts returned to Wren. At least she’d be safe for the time they were out of the country. Wren may be obsessive, but Ben doubted the bastard would follow her that far. He shook his head in mild disbelief. How the asshole could have fooled her long enough to get his claws into her, Ben would never understand. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. Wren was the past and Rey was learning to let the past die. She’d come so far in a very short amount of time. When Tage had clued him in to the fact that she’d thought about running, he’d known a moment of terror so sharp that it had been hard to breathe. But then, her arms were around him and she was saying she wanted him at her side. Relief had flooded him so quickly his knees nearly folded underneath him. Never did he want to feel that level of fear again.

“Hey, why don’t you take this opportunity to get some rest? Get Rey and move over to the couch and get comfortable.”

Ben met Julian’s gaze a bit dazedly, suppressing a yawn. His eyes jerked to the producer, Peter Soules, who was currently discussing something with Will. “We’re not exactly alone. Will knows, but Peter doesn’t. The fewer people who do, the better.”

Julian actually snorted. “Yeah, well, the way you keep looking at her, it won’t stay a secret for long. Just go. I’m sure Will can smooth things over with Peter.” A certain devilish light came into Julian’s blue eyes. “Or, if you’re that concerned, I can go make sure she’s comfortable.”

The man had barely finished speaking before Ben was up and, grabbing a little pillow and a couple of blankets, headed for Rey, tossing the items on the nearest couch. Gently scooping her into his arms, he took her over. Laying her down, her head on the pillow, he tossed one blanket over her. Then, lifting the pillow, he sat, stretching his legs out and crossing his ankles, lowered Rey back down onto his lap. One arm resting at her waist, Ben leaned his head back next to a window, closed his eyes, and let out a weary sigh. It didn’t take long before he succumbed to his own fatigue.

BR

“Are you sure that’s wise?”

The question had been asked softly but Ben, swimming between wakefulness and sleep, still heard it. 

There was a pause and a slight rustle of movement. Then another soft voice answered. “I know what you’re thinking. Rumors, innuendos, and scandals can kill a project, but trust me, in this case, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”

The second voice hissed, “You don’t know a thing about that girl! For all you know, she somehow got Solo in bed and is now using him to further her career.”

Ben instantly tensed upon hearing that, mostly suppressing the growl that begged to escape. Sudden stillness and silence warned Ben that he’d been heard, so he shifted positions slightly, still feigning sleep, his arm tightening around Rey. How dare he disparage Rey’s character like that? How can  _ he  _ talk as if he knows what Rey’s really like?  _ I was right. The man’s a certified asshole. _

“You’re a jerk, Soules, you know that? Rey couldn’t manipulate  _ anyone _ . Will, are you just going to let him talk like that? You know Ben. He wouldn’t fall for someone like that.”

_ Thanks, Gigi. I appreciate that. It’s nice to have the backup. _

Soules countered before Will could reply. “Well, here’s something you probably didn’t know. Our little photographer here was practically raised in the British foster care system. Her parents left her one day and never returned. She’s been in and out of foster homes until she aged out of the system, with practically nothing to her name. Is it really any wonder she latches on to money when she finds it?”

_ Damn, sweetheart, you really have had it rough. Still, I know you’re better than what Soules claims.  _

“So what? That means absolutely nothing. I can’t believe you’d be willing to assassinate someone’s character like that!”

_ Again, many thanks, Gigi. I owe you. _

A fourth voice entered the conversation. “Gigi, you’re going to wake them up. What’s going on, anyway? I haven’t seen you this riled in a long time. If ever.”

“Oh, nothing. Just Soules, here, seems to think Rey somehow manipulated Ben into bed and is using him for her own gains, just because she grew up with nothing to her name.”

“What?! Sweet little Rey? That’s so utterly ridiculous, it’s absurd!”

_ God, it’s nice to know there are people around me with some common sense. Thank you, Julian. _

Soules snorted. “Man, has she got you all fooled. The girl’s a tart. A tease. Lo isn’t even her real last name. It’s Loess and you wouldn’t believe what I found on her. Not that long ago, she was dating Kyler Wren.”

“Wren? As in First Order Electronics and Technologies? As in  _ Be the First to Order the latest? That  _ Wren?”

Soules’ voice held a definite sneer. “The one and the same. Still think she’s not some gold-digger off to bigger and better prey?”

There came the sound of papers being snatched from a hand and flipped through. “There’s a hospital report.” Will’s voice. “Christ, she was put through the wringer. Twelve stitches to her right temple. Two broken ribs. Her left shoulder had been dislocated. Her left arm had been broken in two places. Sprained right knee and ankle. Hairline fracture of her left leg. Those were the major injuries. She also sported a busted lip, bruised cheeks, a bloody nose, and a black eye.”

“Fuck,” Julian breathed. “It’s a miracle she lived through that.”

_ Fuck, indeed. Well said, Julian. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch, he’ll regret ever meeting Rey.  _ It was painful to keep pretending to sleep, but Ben wanted to see how far Soules would go. If it came down to it, he would insist the man be released from the project.

  
  


Soules sneeringly added, “And you know what comes with a hospital report? Bills. She’s drowning in debt.”

_ Not for long. Come on. Someone mention the hospital. It’ll all be paid by the end of the week. _

Everyone ignored Soules’ comment. Will spoke. “Damn, it’s no wonder she had that panic attack the day Ben took that shot to the face during rehearsal.”

“Oh, great. So, she’s unstable, too? I’m telling you. The girl’s trouble.”

Ben nearly jumped up after that, ready to tear Soules apart, but Will’s next words stopped him. “Okay, this is what’s going to happen. Not one of us knows anything. Not one of us  _ says  _ anything. Not to either of them or anyone else. They’re going to be left alone. I’ve already talked to them about discretion. As long as they act professionally when it counts, that’s all I care about. Have I made myself clear?”

_ And that’s why Will is known as an actor’s director. Thank you. _

“Hey, Julian and I already knew but weren’t going to say anything. We actually approve of her. They’ve been good for each other.”

“You can’t dictate what  _ I  _ say.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Soules. This is  _ my  _ project and I have the final say in everything. If you’ll check your contract, you’ll see that there’s a non-disclosure clause that pertains to anything to do with the film and that includes the stars and the staff.”

Soules grumbled a bit but agreed to Will’s demand.  _ Good. One less bastard to worry about. _ Just as Ben drifted back toward sleep, a twitch under his hand jerked him back to wakefulness. Checking on her, Rey seemed to be sleeping fine. He figured it had been a simple muscle spasm. Curious as to how long he’d slept, he checked his watch. They’d only been in the air a couple of hours. Another nearly three to go. Settling in again, he allowed himself to drift.

A plaintive whimper jolted Ben right out of sleep’s grasp. It hadn’t been loud, but in the mostly silent cabin, it didn’t have to be. Rey’s entire body flinched. The instant he moved to wake her, she bolted upright with a gasp and scooted as far from him as she could get.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Ben could tell by her glazed eyes she was still lost in her nightmare. Using the soft tone he’d used with her before, he lightly cupped her face. “Rey, you’re okay. He’s not here. Listen to me, sweetheart. You’re safe.’

Rey’s eyes cleared almost instantly. “Ben?”

“Right here.” 

Drawing her sideways onto his lap, Ben changed his position to where he now could stretch one leg along the sofa as much as the small seat would allow. With a gentle touch, he coaxed her to lay her head down, kissing her forehead when she tucked it under his chin, her hand coming to rest over his heart. Ben spent a few moments readjusting the blanket so it covered them both. With one hand, he combed his fingers through her hair. His other arm tightened around her trembling body, keeping her as close to him as possible. Noting the others watching, he subtly shook his head to keep them away.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Not now. Maybe later.”

“That’s fine. We’re still about two and a half hours out. Try to get back to sleep.”

Ever so slowly, her tremors ceased and her breathing evened out. It took Ben another half an hour before he could relax enough to sleep. His mind kept conjuring up images of an assault to fit the list of injuries Rey had sustained at Wren’s hands. She hadn’t pressed charges then, but Ben swore, if the lunatic hurt Rey again, criminal charges would be the  _ least  _ of his worries. Putting it out of his mind for the moment, Ben took comfort in Rey’s trim body against his, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest lulling him back to sleep. 

BR

Belize was a pretty country. Ben could admit that. He could also admit that he would have preferred being somewhere less hot and less humid. The production had taken over a couple of uninhabited islands for some shoreline scenes. On one of the islands, where his ship was to have crash-landed, there was a Gibralter-style rock, but on a smaller scale, that he was supposed to climb. The surface of the rock contained some very large pitting which made some nice hand- and foot-holds. In fact, the rock was often used for that very purpose by beginner climbers.

As a member of the safety crew outfitted him with a harness that would disappear on film, Ben listened to the local expert on the best way up the rock. He’d fought with Will over allowing him to do this himself. His ace-in-the-hole argument had been that he’d done this kind of thing many times in the Marines so it wasn’t that new to him - and then it had been freehand. He just hadn’t had to do it in this kind of heat and humidity, but that he kept to himself. Will, obviously, had capitulated but insisted on the safety harness.

Ben caught Rey’s worried expression as her gaze flitted between him and the giant of a rock behind him. “Hey, you keep looking like that, you’re going to jinx me.”

Rey actually snorted and said with a cheeky grin, “Are you kidding? It’s not you I’m worried about.” The few staff nearby, used to his and Rey’s banter by now, began to chuckle. “It’s me. I’m going to be at the top so I can get some shots of you as you climb. Heights are not exactly my thing, not when it’s open to the elements.”

That surprised him. He never would have thought it. Flying certainly hadn’t bothered her. But then, it was an enclosed space. “Huh. I didn’t know that.”

Grinning still, she added, “There’s a lot about me you don’t know.” Receiving a signal from someone, she gave them a nod. “Well, see you at the top. Better you climbing than me.”

Once they received word everyone was ready at the top, Ben was given the sign to get himself ready. Breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly, he focused on the rock in front of him, picking out the subtly marked path with the best holds. At the call for action, he started out. While the climb itself was fairly easy, Ben knew he’d be sore later. His legs and arms weren’t used to this sort of work-out. Once or twice, he caught sight of light reflecting from a camera lens.

Sweating profusely, he took a moment to wipe his brow, catch his breath, and deliver a few grumbling lines into the mic that was hidden on him. Just as he pushed off to start heading up again, his foot slipped from the groove, catching him completely off-guard. Biting his tongue against the slew of obscenities that wanted to fly from his mouth, Ben scrambled to catch himself before he slid too far, twisting an ankle as the sole of his boot caught a few times and wrenching his shoulder when he finally managed to grab onto one of the crevices. As it was, he’d fallen a few feet, his hands and arms- and probably his knees and legs too - a mass of scrapes and cuts that stung like hell, especially when sweat dribbled into them. For a moment, he leaned against the rock and took a deep breath. Turning his gaze to the top, he searched for a sign that said Rey hadn’t seen that but found nothing, not that that was conclusive. He certainly hoped she hadn’t.

“Ben?” Will asked through the tiny earpiece Ben wore. “We’ve turned off recording. Talk to me. What the hell happened?”

“Foot slipped. The damn harness failed, Will.”

“Shit. Are you okay?”

Ben grimaced as he took stock. Now, he was truly going to be sore tomorrow. “Tweaked an ankle and shoulder, but I’m fine. Some scrapes. Nothing major. Rey. Did she happen to … ?”

A massive sigh through his earpiece confirmed Ben’s suspicions. “Afraid so. Julian’s up there with her. He’ll keep her calm. Listen, stay put. I’m getting you off the side of that rock.”

Ben sighed, leaning his head against the rough stone. Rey had seen.  _ Fuck.  _ She had enough to cause her anxiety issues as it was! Driven to get to her, Ben began climbing again. It may have been a while since he’d done any freehand rock climbing but it was like riding a bike. 

“I’m nearly to the top. Just finish the scene.”

“And if you fall all the way this time?’

With a grunt from pain and effort, Ben pulled himself farther up. “Then I won’t have to deal with her wrath.”

“But I will. That’s not exactly something I want to experience.”

“Then let me concentrate,” he snapped.

“You’re pushing my limits, Solo.”

Hearing the warning in Will’s voice, Ben softened his tone. “Heard.”

“Recording going back on.”

For the remainder of the climb, he zoned out, delivering the gibberish curse words as he was supposed to, as well as his monologue, ranting about fictional characters and their betrayals.  _ Finally _ , with a last grunt of effort, Ben pulled himself over the edge to the top and simply sat on his heels, knees planted, hands limp against his thighs, lungs working overtime to get air, and appearing tired, not a bit of it faked. Using the back of his hand, he wiped the sweat from his eyes as he scanned the ocean around them as if trying to figure out his location. Wincing as he stood - that wasn’t altogether faked either - Ben walked to the opposite edge and simply stood there, blown by the film crew’s helicopter wash that was supposed to pass for an ocean breeze. He had yet to face Rey’s direction and wouldn’t until they shot all the footage they wanted. He didn’t want to have to ignore her. Hell, who was he kidding? He wouldn’t have been able to.

The instant he received the okay, Ben pulled off the useless harness and headed straight for Rey, who launched out of Julian’s arms and ran full-tilt to him, wrapping her arms tightly around him and burying her face into his chest. Turning his arms at an awkward angle to avoid getting blood on her, Ben held her as close as he could.

“I’m okay, Rey. I’m fine, sweetheart. Listen to me. I’m alright.” She shuddered as she fought to breathe. Ben held her a little tighter, regardless of who might see. Rey needed him and she came first.

A few minutes later, Rey eased back from him and took a deep breath. “I think I’m okay now.” She glanced around them at the staff who were obviously watching without appearing to do so. “I think our secret’s out.”

Ben glanced around, noticing the same thing she had, and shrugged. “Good. Then, I can do this.” 

Leaning down, he captured her lips in a soft kiss that spoke of the depth of feelings he had for her. Whistles and catcalls had both of them laughing and stepping away from each other. That was when Rey got a good look at his bloodied hands and arms.

“Oh, my God! Ben! You should have said something!”

Ben simply shrugged. “They look worse than they are. Besides, I had other things on my mind. Making certain my girlfriend was okay, for instance.”

The sun paled in comparison to the smile Rey gave him. He hadn’t really thought of Rey in those terms and wasn’t sure why. They were dating. That made her his girlfriend. The word just didn’t seem to encompass everything that she meant to him. To him, a girlfriend was someone you liked spending time with and was interested in but nothing too heavy. That certainly wasn’t the case with Rey. She was so much more than that. She was the star his entire world revolved around. Just catching her eye across a room he’d feel this pull towards her light, a pull he was hard-pressed to ignore.

Julian whistled as he drew close enough to see the damage the rock face had wrought. “You okay, man?”

Using the back of his wrist, Ben scratched his nose. “Yeah. Just took off the surface layer. It’s fine.”

“Ben, the helicopter is coming around to pick you up and take you back to the hotel,” Will said into Ben’s earpiece. “I want you to get checked out by the medical staff.”

_ Shit! The mic!  _ Ben leaned his head back and sighed. “Damn. I forgot about the mic.”

Will’s amused voice came back. “You sure did. Did I not just talk to you about discretion and all that? You should have seen everyone down here once you let that cat out of the bag. Apparently, there had been some bets going. Money changed hands left and right. The irony is that you’re good at your job, not so good when it comes to your personal life. At this rate, it’s going to be the worst-kept secret around.”

Rey stared up at him, wide-eyed. “They have you mic'd?”

“Well, I did have a few lines while making that climb. So … yes. And yes, they heard everything. Everyone down there knows, too.” Ben half-laughed. “Apparently, some betting had been going on. Will said a lot of money just changed hands.”

Julian full-out laughed. “I told you! Neither of you were hiding it very well. All that flirting and stuff going on in the last week, it’s a wonder there’s anyone left in the dark!”

Rey rounded on Julian, face aflame. “What? Flirting? We weren’t … No, we weren’t …. What?”

Julian propped an arm on Rey’s shoulder, saying with a bit of grin, “Sorry to burst your little bubble of blindness, but yes, you have been, and it’s been so painfully obvious.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not the professional actor that  _ some  _ of us are.”

Ben didn’t register the little jab Rey had taken at his professional skills. He was too busy switching between scowling at the arm on Rey’s shoulder and giving Julian dark looks. Not that he saw Julian as a threat to his relationship with Rey. Ben knew which team his co-star batted for and it wasn’t Rey’s. He’d known that almost from the beginning of shooting. Maybe it was the situation with Wren that had him feeling so possessive.

“Chopper’s coming.”

Julian tossed him an amused grin and moved away from Rey. The man did it on purpose, Ben knew this, and yet, he still couldn’t stop that possessive feeling taking hold of him. When the helicopter landed, the three of them boarded, Ben having a difficult time with it, thanks to the dried blood coating his hands and arms. Another helicopter would come by and pick up the few crew members left behind.

At the hotel, Ben was quickly whisked away to a room that housed the medical staff, Rey right on his heels. His shirt sleeves were cut away for easy access to his arms, the dried blood washed off. The worst part was the sting of the antiseptic they used. He blushed to the roots of his hair when they indicated he remove his ripped costume pants to tend to the scrapes on his legs. The tiniest of squeaks came from Rey as she gave them her back. This was definitely not the way he’d envisioned the first time undressing with her in the room. Luckily for him, the pant legs took the brunt of the damage, leaving little to be addressed on his legs.

With bandages on the deeper scrapes on his hands and arms, as well as a precautionary wrap around his twisted ankle, Ben finally left the room with a warning to take it easy the rest of the day. Fine by him. He’d just sit and watch the rest of filming while Rey worked. Or rather, he’d sit and watch  _ Rey  _ while she worked. However, Rey dragged him into the hotel’s cantina area to a little table, disappeared to the bar, and eventually came back with a couple of drinks in hand. Ben wasn’t one for drinking alcohol but he’d get through it simply because Rey bothered to get it.

She must have read something in his expression because she grinned at him. “I know you’re not a drinker.” She handed him a short, rounded glass. “I thought you might like this one. It’s a virgin mojito. Not overwhelmingly sweet I’m told.”

Ben took a trial sip. Lime. A hint of sweetness and mint to balance the acidity. Carbonation. Refreshing. All in all, pretty good. “That’s not too bad, actually. Thanks. What’s yours?”

“Virgin margarita. I’m not really a drinker, either. Never really saw the draw.”

So, she  _ was  _ old enough to drink, then? That was when Ben realized he didn’t even know exactly how old she was or when her birthday was. “This is probably going to sound odd, considering everything, but when is your birthday?”

Rey laughed, obviously not having expected that question. “I guess we did skip a few things, didn’t we? February 20.”

He had no idea how to ask his next question, not that the answer truly mattered, but he was curious. “So, uh, you’re … ?”

Again came the sweet laugh that filled Ben with joy to hear. “Twenty-one.” Her smile faded almost instantly. “Does that bother you?”

Ben ran a finger along the rim of his glass, staring into his drink, as he figured out what it was he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. “It’s something I have struggled with. I mean, here you are, young and gorgeous. You could have anyone closer to your own age. Why would you choose me? What would I do when you decided you  _ did  _ want someone your own age?”

A small hand lightly covered the one nervously fiddling with his glass. Ben stared, transfixed, as their fingers threaded together, his hand lifting to her lips where she kissed the back of it, then resting it against her cheek. He flicked his gaze upward and swallowed with difficulty. In Rey’s glistening hazel eyes, he saw certainty, he saw determination, and he saw strong affection. Love, maybe? Did he dare hope that’s what it was?

“Ben.” Her voice came out softly, filled with emotion. “Why would I want someone else when I have you? You embody everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re kind. You’re gentle. You make me laugh. You make me feel safe when I’m with you. I’ve seen your passionate side and your romantic one. You’re incredibly smart. You’re special, Ben. So very special and I couldn’t possibly want anyone else. I’ll tell you that every day if that’s what it takes for you to believe it.”

With a clenched jaw and tears threatening, Ben fought back the tsunami of emotions Rey’s words hit him with. So many precious things she’d given him, now. He had to tell her, had to tell her exactly what she meant to him. She needed to hear it. She  _ deserved  _ to hear it. He had to tell her he loved her with every fiber of his being, that no one else would ever compare.

“Rey, I - ”

“Ben! There you are!”

At Will’s voice across the crowded room, Ben let go of Rey’s hand, sat back in his seat, and gathered himself to face the director by doing what he often did with emotions, he locked them in a box and put them away to be opened at the appropriate time. It was why he could act so well. Whenever a scene called for a specific emotion, he simply reached into one of his boxes and pulled it out. Bam! Instant emotion. He took another drink, not meeting Rey’s eyes, and waited for Will to finish crossing the room.

“So, I just finished speaking with our medical team,” Will said immediately upon reaching their little table. “They didn’t seem too concerned. Just keep the bandages on until tomorrow. We’ll put off the scene between you and Gigi for a few days just in case, but there are others we can film instead, so be ready in the morning. Naturally, speak up if your ankle or shoulder feels worse, and I mean that, Ben. No hiding pain.”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”

Will gave her a nod in thanks. “Good. We’re getting ready to head inland to a few of the sites we’ll be filming at if you want to tag along.”

“Oh! I probably should.”

“Alright, meet back at the chopper in half an hour.”

As Will walked off, Ben realized he hadn’t told Rey about the upcoming scene between his character and Gigi’s. With eyes pleading for her understanding, he ventured onto the topic. “Uh, Rey, that scene that Will mentioned. We’ll be … we’ll be sharing a kiss. An intimate one. Of course, it won’t mean anything, but we do have to make it look convincing.”

For a moment, Rey simply looked blankly at him as if she couldn’t figure out his meaning. Her expression gave way to humor even as her cheeks reddened. “I know it won’t mean anything. It’ll be damn awkward to photograph … unless you’d rather I wasn’t there for that. I won’t be if you think it would be easier.”

Uncertain, Ben shrugged. “I don’t know. This is new territory for me, remember? Kissing on camera I’m used to, or as much as one can get used to it. Kissing on camera while my girlfriend is watching? Not so much.”

With a little twitch of her lips, Rey concluded, “So, you’d rather I wasn’t there.”

Elbow propped on the table, Ben used his knuckle to rub his forehead as he tried to order his thoughts and express them properly. “I’m not saying that, necessarily. You have as much of a job to do as I do. I just wanted you prepared.”

Rey actually snickered. “You’re so adorable when you’re flustered, you know that? I’ve known about that scene  _ and  _ the other kissing scene later on in the film for days now. The day I spent shadowing Gigi, she told me about it.” She tilted her head as if she remembered something. “You know, she said something that didn’t make sense at the time, but I guess it sort of does now. I asked her why she told me about those two scenes and she got this peculiar smile on her face and said it was for future reference.”

Still blushing from being called adorable, Ben laughed softly, shaking his head at his co-star’s perception. “The day after the photoshoot, when Gigi pulled me away during dinner, she told me she saw  _ us  _ coming from the first day. She saw you taking those photos that day.”

This time, Rey blushed crimson. “Oh. She never said anything. I’ll have to ask her about it.”

The two of them chatted and finished off their drinks, Ben wishing he had the courage to just blurt out what he had been about to say when Will interrupted them, but he didn’t. Another time would present itself, he was certain. He didn’t realize it would be that night.

BR

Ben tossed and turned, attempting to get some sleep. He and Rey hadn’t slept next to each other again, not wanting to risk being discovered, and he missed her presence something fierce. How could he have such a hard time sleeping without her when they’d only shared his bed - in the most innocent of ways - once? For the hundredth time, he checked his clock and sighed. Midnight.  _ Fuck. Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a long day if I don’t get any sleep. _

A pained whimper sounded right outside his door. Ben stilled instantly, listening intently for any other sound. A soft cry. Tears? Then, a voice so soft it was barely audible. “Ben.”

Like a shot, Ben launched himself at his door and threw it open. Rey sat, sweating and shaking on the floor, leaning against the wall, rivers of tears cascading down her cheeks as she cradled her left arm. Her swollen left arm. He noticed another swollen area on her left leg.

“Rey? Sweetheart, what happened?”

Not waiting for an answer, Ben cautiously picked her up and set her on his bed, wincing when she cried out in pain and curled in on herself. Not getting a coherent response and suitably worried, Ben leaped to his phone. After calling the medical staff, he gathered a sobbing Rey into his arms and simply held her, one hand running through her damp hair, and speaking as soothingly as possible. It didn’t seem to help in the least. The deep sobs and moans of absolute pain tore at his heart like nothing ever had. He’d never felt so utterly helpless before.

As he waited for help to arrive, Ben picked up on what seemed to be a pattern. Rey’s cries and pain-filled moans crescendoed periodically, like waves ebbing and flowing. A spark caught in the back of his mind. That description sounded familiar. Why? Then he remembered. The instant he’d learned where they’d be shooting on-location, he’d researched the places. One of the dangers of being here was an insect, usually less than an inch long, known as the bullet ant because the pain of its sting had been compared to being shot, except the pain from this ant could last as long as twenty-four hours! He recalled reading anecdotes from people who had experienced it claiming to have felt waves of excruciating pain and burning all over their bodies for hours on end, practically nonstop. The worst part, there wasn’t a medication in the world that could neutralize the toxin.

Rey tensed in his arms, groaning and whimpering in agony, more tears leaking from her eyes. “Ben.”

“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m right here.” 

Swiping at his own tears for the torture he couldn’t take from her, Ben guided her quaking hand to his chest just over his heart. Her fingers curled into his nightshirt, gripping tightly as she began to cry.

“Hurts,” she whimpered, her voice strained and cracking.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry, Rey.” Leaning in, he pressed a gentle kiss to her soaked brow.

When the knock on his door finally came, he quickly called them in and relayed his suspicions. “That ant. The one called the bullet ant. I think that’s what stung her. Twice. I’ve noticed a pattern in how she reacts. The pain seems to intensify and then lessen. Over and over.”

Robert - funny how the brain can sometimes throw out random snippets of information in times of stress - examined Rey’s leg first, then her arm. He pressed two fingers to the pulse point on the inside of her wrist. After a few seconds, he set her arm down and sighed.

“I think you’re right in your assessment, Ben. Is she lucid at all?”

Ben shook his head. “Not really. Nothing more than my name and that it hurts.” 

The tension eased from Rey, making Ben believe this was one of those down moments. 

Robert, too, seemed to notice. “Rey, can you tell me what bit you or stung you? Did you see anything?”

Struggling to breathe, Rey managed, “Burns. Hurts. Bed.”

Robert’s partner immediately left, presumably to check Rey’s room. Ben heard a few knocks on doors down the hall and heard voices. Gigi and Julian suddenly appeared at his door and stepped inside.

“What’s wrong? What happened to Rey?”

“Robert! It’s confirmed! I’ve found five of the little beasts so far!”

Robert looked at them all. “Check your rooms. Check your bedding. Check your suitcases. Everywhere.”

Gigi glanced between Ben and the paramedic. “What are we searching for?”

Ben beat the other man to it. “Remember those ants I told you about when we learned we were coming here? The ones that ranked highest on the list for painful stings?” Rey tensed again, whimpering, burying her face into his chest.

Gigi gasped, indicating Rey. “Are you saying one of those things … ?”

“Two, actually.”

_ “Shit!” _

Ben nodded at Julian’s emphatic exclamation. “Julian, do me a favor and look around for me?”

Julian jumped into action. “Sure, as long as you don’t mind me touching certain items.”

_ If you don’t mind a gay man touching your underclothes _ , in other words. “Julian, if I minded, I wouldn’t have asked.”

The other paramedic re-entered Ben’s room “Five in the bed and three in the suitcase.”

Robert scratched at his chin. “Odd to find them this close to the coast. Not unheard of, but uncommon.”

Ben’s head snapped up from his attempt to soothe Rey through another wave of pain to Robert, his eyes glinting like stone, teeth clenched, looking like the inactive Marine he was. “Are you saying this was deliberate? Someone  _ deliberately  _ did this to her?”

Rey’s keening cries drew Ben’s attention back to her and he softened his tone, running his hand through her hair and slowly rocking her, not knowing what else he could possibly do to help. “I know it hurts. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Julian finished with the suitcase and pulled the blankets off the bed, layer by layer to inspect them. He shook his head. “Nothing. Not a single bug.”

Gigi came back from checking her own room. “I didn’t see a thing.”

Will showed up at Ben’s open door, his hair sticking up at all angles but alert. His frosty blue eyes took in the scene. “She’s the only one affected?”

Robert replied with a nod. “It certainly looks that way. Listen, Ben, she’s going to be in for a very rough time of it for several hours. Try to get her to drink some water. We don’t want her getting dehydrated. Use ice to help cool her down. I’m afraid that’s about all you can do. The toxin has to run its course. The length of time varies from person to person. This could last three to four hours, or it could last twenty-four. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

Ben turned moisture-filled pleading eyes to Will. “Filming tomorrow. I - ”

Will waved a hand to stop him. “You don’t even have to finish that sentence. Of course you aren’t going anywhere. You’re needed right here.”

Accepting the cool cloth that appeared under his nose as he, again, tried and failed to comfort the woman in his arms, Ben tenderly ran it over Rey’s brow, down her nose, across her cheek and jaw, and down her neck. A cup of water popped into his line of sight and he took that, too.

“Rey? I need you to take a sip of water. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” She managed a few swallows before succumbing to the pain once more.

“One final thing.”

Ben startled a bit, having forgotten that his room was full of people as he focused on Rey. He supposed the cloth and the water hadn’t come from nowhere, though. He just wasn’t thinking clearly.

Robert continued his warning. “Once the pain is gone, she’ll be riding an extended adrenaline high, adrenaline being the body’s natural response to extreme pain. I can’t say how long that will last, either. She won’t be able to sit still. She will, however, eventually come down from it, and when she does, she’ll crash hard. Be ready.”

Ben barely acknowledged him with a nod, too focused on Rey and wishing they would all simply get the hell out of his room. Thankfully, all of them picked up on that and left. By this time, Rey had no more tears to shed, which prompted Ben to get her to drink as much as she could. He, on the other hand, had plenty and he let them fall freely as Rey suffered through painful cycle after painful cycle, constantly wiping her brow.

“Ben,” she whimpered repeatedly, brokenly.

Ben swallowed past the lump that had taken up residence in his throat for the foreseeable future, sniffling. “I’m right here, sweetheart. I have you. I’m not letting you go. I love you too much to ever let you go.” He pressed a light kiss to her brow with trembling lips, his tears mixing with the sweat that dotted her skin. “I love you, Rey. I do. It’s been so sudden, but I couldn’t be more certain of how I feel about you. I wanted to tell you that earlier, before Will interrupted us.”

“You … love … me?”

Realizing this was one of the valleys between the cresting waves, Ben reached for the cup of water at his bedside and urged Rey to drink. “I do, sweetheart, and it’s killing me to know that I can’t do a damn thing to help you through this. If I could, I’d take the pain myself.”

The instant he moved the cup from Rey’s lips, the hand clenching his shirt lifted to thumb away his tears. Her voice, when she spoke, was so hoarse it was nearly non-existent. “You’re helping. Knowing you’re here helps. Believe me, though, you don’t want to feel this.”

Ben captured her hand to give it a kiss. Sniffling, he argued, “If it meant you didn’t have to? Yes, I’d take it in a heartbeat.”

“You should rest. Filming - ”

“I’m not doing anything tomorrow except staying here with you. Will agreed.”

“Oh, that’s nice of him. I love you, too, Ben. Just thought you should know since, you know, you beat me to the punch and said it before I did.’

With a tearful laugh, Ben kissed Rey’s forehead again. “How can you make jokes right now?”

The only answer he received was the tensing of her body, her hand falling to grip his shirt again. Another wave of pain and burning was rising to reduce her to a primal state of pain, pain, and more pain. Ben mopped the sweat from her brow as best he could, fished out a piece of ice from the bucket left on his nightstand and skated it over her cheek, along her neck, up under her hair, and anywhere else there was exposed skin, hoping it would help keep her cool.

“I have another confession to make - and this one may just kill that love you say you have for me, but I have to say it. The first day you arrived on set you panicked and ran from me. Remember? I was concerned for you. I asked Tage to find out why.” 

Was it his imagination or was she crying harder? Her hand flattened against his chest. Was she trying to push him away? She hated him now. He just knew she did, and he’d deserve her hate. His chest constricted with the knowledge, but it was his own doing. 

Resting his head against her crown, the guilt and shame over his actions bringing more tears to fall into her hair, Ben forced himself to keep talking. “It was wrong. I realize that, now. A breach of your trust, and I know you hate me. I hate that I did it. If I had known how important you’d become to me, I wouldn’t have. I hope you believe that. I just felt this instant need to protect you. Tage didn’t tell me more than the fact you had been assaulted. That was it, but it was enough to explain your hesitancy around me and every other man you came across.”

“Ben.”

Too caught in the storm of his emotions, Rey’s voice went unheard. “I don’t deserve someone like you, Rey. I know it. You’ll never trust me again. I know that, too. So, just know, when you tell me to go, I will. I won’t want to, but I will if it’s what you want.”

The hand at his chest lifted to push weakly at his chin. Here it was, the beginning of the end for them. She couldn’t stand his touch. He should lay her down on the bed, touch her as little as possible. She may hate him, but he wouldn’t leave her in such a state to let her suffer alone. Giving in to her request, Ben lifted his head from hers. He felt her look up at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze, so he stared at the lamp on the nightstand instead, barely holding himself together.

Through panting breaths, Rey spoke, “Ben. You’re right. You shouldn’t have done that, and I hate,” Ben actually flinched, his jaw clenching tighter against the sobs rising in his chest, his eyes closing as another tear followed the well-marked path of those that had gone before it. “I hate that you’re telling me this now when I don’t have the energy to yell at you.” When he didn’t turn back to her, she added, “That was a joke. Ben, look at me. Please.”

Steeling himself against the recrimination he would be seeing in her eyes, Ben gulped and slowly brought his gaze around to her. A little spark of hope ignited in his chest when he wasn’t met with the disgust and betrayal he’d expected to see. The pad of her thumb gently wiped away the dampness from his cheek.

“You did the wrong thing … for the right reason. It was an invasion of privacy but not a breach of my trust. You didn’t have it then. So, there’s not much to forgive. Except that you waited until now to tell me. Besides, I thought you said you’d never let me go.”

What? Ben couldn’t comprehend why she wasn’t angry with him. Okay, so maybe he hadn’t had her trust then but it was still an invasion of privacy as she said. Why wasn’t she angry over that? She should be. Ruthlessly, he snuffed out that little spark that had settled around his heart and shook his head.

“You’re not thinking right. You’re in too much pain to be. Otherwise, you’d be disgusted with me and my actions and would be begging me to never look at you again.  _ I’m  _ disgusted with me.”

“Would it help if I yelled at you once I’ve recovered? Because I will if it’ll help. I may just do it anyway. I still love you, Ben.”

God, she still loved him! By some miracle he hadn’t driven her away! Ben lost the fight with himself then. Holding her close as Rey cried out her physical pain, he let himself release his emotional pain and the relief that he still had her, as well as his helplessness at being unable to help the woman who had completely captured his heart and soul. All through the night, Ben held her and did the only things he could. During the lulls, they rested. Sometime around mid-morning, the pain receded for the final time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  



	6. Life is Yours, Live it Your Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a take off of a lyric from the Metallica song Nothing Else Matters. The lyric in the song is: Life is ours, we live it our way. Thanks to M Magazine for the wonderful wet Adam photoshoot as well as to the person who silhouetted the TROS kiss since I use those pics in my moodboard.
> 
> Stay safe and sane in these trying times!

**_Don’t play his game. Play yours._ **

**_\-- Rachel Caine, Fall of Night_ **

Rey’s eyes suddenly sprang open. The pain! It was gone! She felt … good! Better than good. Euphoric! Energized! She needed to get up, to shower, to work, to just  _ move _ . Ben’s admissions came back to her in a rush. He loved her! That thought brought a brilliant smile to her face. His other admission dimmed it somewhat. Honestly, she wasn’t nearly as angry about what Ben had done as she probably should be. He’d gone poking where he shouldn’t have, but he’d had good intentions. Plus, he hadn’t learned any more than he would have had he looked in newspapers. She knew her attack had been reported in at least one newspaper because she’d heard talk about it. She’d been something of a fixture in Times Square selling her pictures for whatever money she could get out of them, so when she showed up at the hospital in the condition she’d been in and it had been discovered who she was, many newspapers picked up the story. Maybe that’s why she didn’t feel as betrayed as she should.

Without moving, Rey studied Ben as he slept. They still sat upright, Rey in his lap, her head on his shoulder. A rush of tenderness flooded her as she remembered how he’d held her all night, doing his best to ease her pain. She also remembered how guilty he’d felt once he’d confessed his supposed sin to her, how he had insisted she should hate him. She had a feeling that was going to turn into a little battle between them. As insecure as Ben truly was, she had to prepare herself for proving to him that he  _ did  _ deserve her and that she did still trust him completely. She knew exactly how to begin.

The instant she moved, Ben jerked awake and looked down at her. “Rey? How do you feel?”

With a cheeky grin, she reached up to bury her fingers in the hair at his neck and pulled him to her. “Like kissing the man I love.” It came out scratchy but Rey didn’t care.

Ben’s expressive eyes widened momentarily before they seemed to shutter as he turned away. And there it was. The guilt. Well, she wasn’t having any of that. Repositioning herself so she straddled his lap, Rey leaned in and began placing kisses along the jaw he’d so conveniently presented her with. He tensed at the first touch of her lips but she wouldn’t be deterred. Kissing the spot behind his ear, she grinned at the shiver she felt run through him. No matter what else he felt, he couldn’t hide his reactions. She worked her way down to his pulse point, nipping and soothing as she went, delighting in the fact that his heart raced, his breath hitching.

“Rey.”

Nope. Rey wasn’t about to let him interject just yet. She wanted him to  _ feel _ her love for him first. She continued kissing along his neck, one side then the other, kissing under his chin, then hovered over his parted lips, waiting for him to look at her. Eventually, he did.

“Ben, I love you. I’ll prove it to you every day. I trust you. Fully. What you did … your motives were pure,” Rey laid a hand over Ben’s heart, “straight from this big heart of yours. That takes a lot of the sting out of it. Ultimately, what you learned you could have discovered simply by accessing newspapers. That’s why I’m not really upset. Besides that, we were nothing to each other at the time. If you did something like that  _ now _ , I’d feel betrayed and hurt, but I know you won’t, no matter how tempted you may be.” A hand to each side of his jaw, thumbs caressing his cheeks, she asked, “Do you understand what I’m saying, Ben?”

“I’m still not proud of what I did to you.”

Rey traced his nose, across his lower lip. He seemed to be on the verge of giving in. Could it really be that easy? “Good. You’ve learned a lesson, then.” A playful expression stole onto her face. “Now, since you have, you deserve to be rewarded. Would you like your reward?”

Though the darkness of guilt didn’t completely fade from his chocolate-brown eyes, it did recede some. Rey decided it was enough of a victory for the moment. Taking that as an affirmative answer, Rey nipped at his full bottom lip before soothing the sting with a light sweep of her tongue. A little wiggle of her hips brought hers into full contact with his, earning her a gasped moan, which she took full advantage of. With little darts of her tongue, she coaxed his into playing. God, how she loved his taste! All heat and sensuality.

All of a sudden, her world spun, and the next thing Rey knew, she was flat on her back, Ben hovering above her, a forearm taking the majority of his weight as he kissed her more fervently than ever. His left hand hooked under her knee, pulling it higher and her leg over his hip. Between Ben’s nearly frantic kisses, his hard length rhythmically rubbing right where she needed it, and the natural high she was riding from the aftermath of her ordeal, she came suddenly and spectacularly, hanging on for dear life with two fistfuls of Ben’s shirt, her cries of ecstasy mercifully muffled. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered his own fierce release.

Minutes later, the sensual bliss faded, leaving reality to encroach on the moment. Though Ben released her knee, Rey liked her leg just where it was and refused to move it. She let out an involuntary moan when he shifted slightly to balance his weight onto both arms, the movement centering him more firmly against her. The quick flex of his hips and the low half-grunt half-moan deep in his throat said quite clearly that the shifted position pleased him as much as it did her.

Releasing his shirt, Rey pulled her hands from Ben’s back, up his sides, and into his sweat-dampened hair. Whispering in his ear, she said, “I love you, Ben. I once read a quote that has stayed with me. It says  _ Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. If they could make me stop loving you - that would be the real betrayal.  _ If I were to stop loving you for something you did out of concern, then  _ that  _ would be worse than anything you could ever do.”

Ben buried his face into her neck. His breath hitched once. A drop of wetness hit her skin. Wrapping an arm around him, Rey held him tightly as he gathered himself. Ben Solo, her gentle, big-hearted giant. God, she simply could not love him more than she already did! A few minutes passed before she felt him nuzzle her neck, give her a few light kisses. Eventually, he inhaled deeply and lifted his head to  _ finally _ meet her eyes.

With a tender smile, Rey greeted him, “Hey.”

An equally tender smile graced his features, and Rey thought he looked happier, as if he’d made peace with his own actions. “Hey. How do you feel?”

“I feel great, actually. I feel like I have all this energy and no way to expend it. I could get a lot of shots taken and turned in if I had a way out to the filming sites. What about you, though? You’re the one banged up.”

“Nothing hurts.” Ben rolled to his side, pulling her with him so they lay face to face. The backs of his fingers skimmed along her cheek, this thumb tracing her bottom lip. “Not anymore.”

“Good.” 

Before she could stop herself, she lightly flicked her tongue out to lick his thumb. The heat that flared in Ben’s eyes sent a delicious shiver through Rey, who reacted by gently sinking her teeth into the meat of his fingertip. Tantalizingly slowly, Ben pushed his thumb past her lips, his gaze never leaving hers. Closing her lips around it, she sucked, fully aware of the meaning behind the euphemistic gesture. Rey loved watching his eyes lose all focus, his breath quickening, no doubt imagining other things. Skimming her palm down his back to his hip, she hesitated for a few seconds before using the back of it to stroke inward, delighting in his caught breath and the moan that escaped his control.

“Damn, sweetheart, I knew being in bed with you would be dangerous.” Two knocks sounded at the door, accompanied by Will’s voice. Ben rolled to his back, running a hand over his face. “Fuck. I can’t - ”

Can’t open the door. Not in his physical state, no. Finding amusement in the situation, Rey kissed Ben quickly. “Stay put. I’ll get it.”

Crossing to the door, Rey smoothed her hand over her hair to try to tame it at least a little. There was no telling what she looked like. Atrocious, probably. Smelled it, too, she was sure, after all the sweating she’d done. It was a wonder Ben didn’t push her out of his bed! Now that she didn’t have him as a distraction, she felt that jittery energy again and couldn’t wait to get back to work. Opening the door, she greeted the director.

“Well, hello. It’s good to see you upright again. How do you feel?”

Rey pulled a face. “If I ever feel that again, shoot me. At least then, I’d have the hole to go with the pain. Don’t recommend it. Well, okay, maybe one or two people I could stand to see go through that. Anyway, I’m sure I look and smell terrible, so I’m going to get a shower. Filming later? I could really stand to catch up on work.”

It had all come out in an energetic rush, making Will chuckle. “Robert warned us you’d be hyped-up for a bit. I guess he wasn’t kidding. Yes, there’s filming we’ll be doing. You’re welcome to come along, but if you start to feel tired, you have to speak up. You’ll be coming down from that high you’re currently riding.”

“Alright. Well, I’ll go get ready.” Rey briefly glanced back at Ben. “See you later, then.”

BR

Rey loved the buzz of activity. It fed her energy, hyping her further. She flitted like a human butterfly taking shot after shot, not staying in one spot for long, and somehow still managing to stay out of the way. This was the first of the two more personal scenes between  _ Lucas _ and  _ Zara _ . Rey felt a moment of sympathy for Ben when he had to wade hip deep into the river and dunk himself to begin the scene. It didn’t stop her from teasing him about it, however.

Cheekily, Rey reminded him, “Remember to check for leeches, Ben.”

“Hush, you, or you’ll be joining me in here.”

Rey pouted, holding up a camera. “And ruin all of my hard work? You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”

Several of the crew laughed, all of them knowing quite well that Ben  _ wouldn’t  _ put her or her work at any sort of risk. The only one not amused was the blonde assistant who had hit on Ben and insulted Rey. How  _ she  _ managed to become a part of this crew, Rey hadn’t any idea. She wondered if the woman was going to start hitting on Ben again. Well, if she did, she was in for a nasty surprise.

Will finally spoke up. “Don’t let her get to you, Ben. You know we checked for those things and took measures to keep them out. Now, let’s get ready.”

Rey realized she probably took more of Ben than was absolutely necessary, but the way his clothes clung to his shoulders and chest, defining every muscle he had was more temptation than she could resist. On more than one occasion, she found herself jealous of the water droplets dripping from his skin for their ability to glide along his delicious contours. Oh, how she wanted to lap each droplet from him, following the paths they had taken.

As  _ Lucas  _ and  _ Zara  _ came together, Rey giggled, remembering Gigi’s profuse apologies for what was coming. She had to bite her lips now because poor Ben seemed to have trouble getting into character enough to make the kiss look natural. After a few bad takes, Rey said she’d go take photos of some of the ruins while they filmed and she did -  _ after  _ hiding behind some trees, using a telephoto lens to get some good shots. Her absence seemed to help. 

When she returned, Rey discovered her fears about the blonde weren’t unfounded. Ben had removed the soaked jacket he’d worn and was currently wringing out his shirt as best he could, wet hair clinging to his face, standing at the edge of the riverbank. The other woman kept brushing him off as if he had dirt on him, her hand lingering everywhere it touched, and she leaned in much closer than was absolutely necessary, despite Gigi telling her to lay off. Ben, the consummate professional that he was, merely angled away each time she did. Overcome with a certain level of possessiveness that, frankly, shocked her, Rey all but stalked in their direction, not quite sure what she would actually do.

Mere feet away, the blonde caught sight of Rey’s approach and grinned nastily at her as she continued her ‘ministrations’. Ben shifted away again, giving Rey a view of the river behind them and the short ledge they stood on. Not watching where she was stepping, Rey planted a foot right into a hole, knocking her off-balance. She stumbled a little more than was necessary and knocked Miss Blonde right into the river, much to everyone’s - except Will’s - amusement. Apparently, they had been waiting for Rey’s return to see what she’d do. Will had been speaking with his assistant and hadn’t seen the danger coming.

“Oops,” Rey said a little vindictively.

The woman screeched the instant she surfaced. “You little bitch! How dare you do this to me! These clothes cost more than you’ll ever see in your lifetime! I’ll sue you for everything you’ve got and ruin your name!”

Gigi snorted. “No you won’t, April. You want to know why? Because you’re not going to want it to get out what kind of fool you’ve made of yourself. I’ve told you repeatedly to leave Ben alone. I know Ben has told you at least once to leave him alone. I warned you that you wouldn’t like what would happen to you for messing with another woman’s man, but you refused to listen. So, this,” Gigi waved a hand in April’s direction, “is all on you.”

Turning her back on April, Rey glanced up at Ben, who seemed as if he was barely holding in his amusement. “Oops,” she said again, and was rewarded with the crooked grin she loved so much.

There was a huge sigh from the other side of them. Rey looked over to see Will giving her a look that said he wasn’t all-together pleased, but not surprised, either. He turned back to April. “Someone help her out of there. We have other filming to get done today before we lose the lighting.” Will indicated a tent set up nearby. “Ben, go change clothes.”

April forcibly brushed by Rey once Ben had stepped far enough away, obviously feeling more secure to spew her vitriol. “You may have him now, but just you wait. You won’t be able to please him for long.” She looked Rey up and down. “You don’t have enough of what men want. He’ll be looking for someone who does and  _ can  _ please him, and I’ll be right there waiting.”

Gigi opened her mouth to say something, but Rey held out a hand to stop her. Eyeing April disdainfully, Rey asked, “What is your problem? Did your parents not ever tell you  _ no  _ or something?”

“At least I  _ had  _ parents,” April sneered back.

Rey blanched, a shocked hush falling over the area. How had this woman known? Before she could even formulate a response, Ben was standing in front her, easing her away, glaring at April fiercely enough to make the woman twitch. His face full of composed fury, he said to her, “If you  _ ever _ come near Rey again … ” He let the threat hang there before wrapping his arm around Rey’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart, I think I may need a leech check.” As they started to walk away, Ben locked eyes with Will. “Do something about her.”

Realizing she was pressed against Ben’s wet side, she pushed at him to create a little distance. “Blech. You’re getting me all wet.” Catching him looking down at her from the corner of her eye, she met his gaze and found him smirking devilishly at her, brows raised. She shoved him a little harder, redness coloring her cheeks. “Ugh. For that, you can keep your leeches.”

Ben simply laughed and ran a hand through his hair to shake out as much water as possible.

On the wind, Rey thought she heard Will say, “And so much for professionalism.” She wasn’t certain, however, but he at least didn’t sound upset.

BR

By the fourth Mayan ruins location, Rey started to drag. Ben kept an eagle eye on her so she forced herself to keep up the frenetic flitting about, not wanting to lose more time than she already had. Marcos demanded a certain quantity and quality of photos from her. She  _ had  _ to keep him happy with her. So, Rey pushed herself. Despite her light-headedness. Despite the darkness that was encroaching on her vision. Despite the heaviness of her limbs. She pushed until she hit the proverbial wall and couldn’t push anymore. Her vision tunneled. She thought she heard Ben frantically yell at Will but it sounded as if it came from far away, so she wasn’t sure. Just before she passed out, she felt hands grab her. Her last semi-coherent thought was that they felt … wrong.

When next Rey became aware of her surroundings it was after a hard-fought battle. It felt like fighting to break the surface of the ocean while the undertow insisted on keeping you in its watery depths. Softness. She lay on a very nice softness. Wait. When had she lain down? This wasn’t grass; it was too soft for that. Too plush. Inhaling deeply, she caught a faint whiff of … spice. Mmmm. The same scent she’d detected on Ben. She must be in his room. Prying her eyes open, Rey had her suspicions confirmed. She was most certainly lying on Ben’s bed, wrapped up in his comforter. Languidly, she stretched and yawned. Faint light came in through the window, drawing Rey’s attention. Checking the clock, she nearly had a heart attack.

“Five o’clock in the morning?! I’ve slept for almost twelve hours?!” 

Reaching over to the lamp, she flipped the switch and instantly noticed a tented piece of paper with her name on it.

_ Sweetheart,  _

_ Didn’t want to wake you, you were sleeping so well, so I slipped over to your room for a shower. I’m going downstairs to order us some breakfast, just on the off-chance that you actually do wake up and are hungry. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy seeing you in my bed. I’d really like to see you there more often, even just to sleep. You were supposed to say something when you started feeling tired. We’ll talk about that later. I’ll be back soon. By the way, Gigi changed your clothes, not me. _

_ Ben _

Rey glanced down at what she wore, realizing at that moment she wore her sleep clothes. Just when she thought the man couldn’t possibly get any sweeter, he went and did  _ this _ . Rey didn’t know what she might have done to have earned herself a man like Ben, but she thanked her lucky stars that she’d done it. Yawning again, she propped herself up with a pillow and rubbed at her eyes. She clapped a hand over her stomach when it protested its emptiness in a rather demanding way, glad that Ben hadn’t heard it.

Picking up her camera from the opposite nightstand, Rey flipped through the photos she had taken, lingering on the ones of Ben soaking wet. The man deserved to be crowned Sexiest Man Alive every year! She snorted in amusement at the mental picture of a fiercely blushing and stuttering Ben if he were to ever be given that title. Well, the magazine may not ever think of him as such but  _ she  _ did. To her, he truly deserved it. 

Soft voices and fiddling at the door had her setting her camera aside. Just as the door opened to Ben carrying two trays, the key card between his teeth, Rey’s phone rang. Seeing who was calling filled her with dread. Knowing that ignoring him would make the situation worse, she answered, accidentally putting the call on speaker.

The instant the call connected, Marcos ranted, “This is the second time you have failed to turn in photos, Ms. Lo. I had assumed you were mature and responsible enough to handle this assignment. Instead of doing the job I pay you for, I find out your fucking around with the stars. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and that it was worth it because you’re done. I’m sending out a new photographer, someone more professional. He should be there later today.”

Rey, stunned at this turn of events, sat speechless, her mind blank and unable to think of any kind of response. Ben, however, didn’t have that problem. Lightly depositing the trays on the bed, he inquired, deceptively calmly, “Mr. Santos, are you certain that isn’t a rash decision? Ms. Lo has taken some very good photographs. She’s excellent at what she does.”

“Solo?” came the sneering voice and a derisive laugh. “I should have known you’d be somewhere nearby when I called this early in the morning, seeing as you’re the one she’s been fucking around with. She must be excellent if you’re giving her the time of day.”

Ben’s jaw clenched, fury darkening his eyes, his hands curling into fists. Rey felt as if she needed to diffuse the situation and opened her mouth to speak, but a quick look from Ben shut her up. Instinct told her this was one of those situations in which Ben would get farther than she would.

“Where have you gotten your information from, Mr. Santos?”

“Not denying it? That only proves my point.”

“I’m not confirming or denying anything. My presence near Ms. Lo at this early hour happens to be due to the fact we’ll be filming again shortly. I ask again, who is the source of your information?”

“That’s not your business.”

“I beg to differ, Mr. Santos, since my character has been called into question along with Ms. Lo’s.”

Santos simply laughed. “You should have thought of that before you decided to bed her. But, hey, you said she was excellent at what she does so you must not have that many regrets. Ms. Lo, congratulations. You’ve fucked yourself right out of a job with me. With your unprofessional behavior, you won’t be allowed on another movie set. I’ll see to it.”

The line went dead. Rey sat staring at the device for a moment, unsure as to whether she should be angry or upset. Her livelihood was gone, her reputation now in tatters or soon would be. Now what? Did this mean she had to leave? That she wouldn’t be going to Morocco with them? It must. She certainly couldn’t afford to pay for that trip herself! She’d be saying goodbye to Ben once they were done here. She’d become so used to having him around, to talk to and joke with, that the idea she’d be separated from him for several weeks simply crushed her.

It wasn’t until Ben knelt before her, his arms going around her hips, his head against her heart that she’d even registered that he’d moved. One hand sliding into his hair - God, she loved how silky soft it was - her other arm draped across his broad shoulders, Rey dipped her chin to rest on his head, allowing the tears she’d felt gathering to spill over.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Rey choked out a laugh. “Whatever for? It’s not your fault Marcos is an idiot.”

“I know. I also know how much this meant to you.” Ben shifted back enough to meet her eyes, and upon seeing the tear tracks, reached up to wipe them away. “Santos is an ass, is what he is. I’ve heard stories about him, the way he treats his employees but had never witnessed it firsthand. In my opinion, you’re better off without him. I didn’t much care for the first person he sent. Although, I will always be grateful he sent me you.”

There went her heart again. Right into a puddle. Ben always seemed to know just what to say to make her feel better. “Is he really capable of doing what he said he would?”

“Blacklist you? Maybe in some circles but not in all of them. Certainly not any  _ I’ll  _ be a part of. You and I are a team. You take one, you take us both. And before you say anything, I’m not asking you to give up the kind of photography that you want to do to traipse around the world with me. I just mean that if someone holds this against you or believes in what Santos wants to spew, then they won’t get me onto their project, either.”

“What? No. Ben, you can’t limit your options like that. What if there’s a project you’re really interested in? What if it’s a film that could really catapult your career? I don’t want to be responsible for holding you back. I don’t - ”

Ben hushed her with a long finger against her lips, quickly replacing it with his. “I won’t work for some bastard who can’t think for himself or has no common sense.  _ You’re  _ more important to me.” He gave her his crooked smile. “Want to come work for me for the duration of the shoot?”

Rey’s first inclination was to grab onto his offer with both hands, but what would other people think once they learned of their arrangement? Would they say she was only present because of her relationship with Ben? Would people only ever see her as an extension of him or only having garnered any success because of him? Then again, this was Ben’s world. If she wanted to be with him, she’d have to get used to the talk.

Chewing her bottom lip, she asked, “What about Will? I’m sure Marcos is going to contact him soon, if he hasn’t already. Would Will let me stay since I wouldn’t be a part of the crew anymore?”

“I’m sure he will, but we can talk with him if it’ll ease your mind. In fact, he’ll probably bring it up with us before we get the chance.”

Despite her anxieties over her future projects, her reputation, and possibly having to watch Ben leave her as the film crew moved to the next location, Rey’s lips curved in response to the little flicker of hope that she kept buried deep inside, hope that it would all work out, that all her dreams would come true.

“Well, assuming Will says I can stay, I guess whether I worked for you depends on one thing.”

“Oh? And what would that be?”

“Will there be a fraternization with the boss clause I’ll need to worry about?”

Ben laughed. “I can guarantee you that the boss will definitely be wanting fraternization. He’ll accept as much or as little as you want to give him. He’ll even go so far as to say, whenever we’re on-location, to feel free to go find some interesting local scenes to shoot.”

Excitement at the opportunity to see sights she’d probably never get to see otherwise coursed through her, accelerating her pulse. “Seriously?”

“I want you to be happy, Rey. You won’t be if you’re stuck doing  _ this  _ kind of work all day every day. Hell, you don’t even have to spend a single day on set the entire time if you don’t want to. The only thing I ask is that you let Phasma assign you a bodyguard for when in foreign countries, someone discreet enough that you wouldn’t really know they’re there unless you chose to. Some of these places are dangerous, sweetheart. I want to know you’re safe.”

While the idea of being shadowed and watched wasn’t exactly pleasing, Rey wasn’t stupid. She knew just how dangerous the world could be, especially in some of the places they were bound to go. At least if it was someone from Phasma’s firm, she knew the person would be excellent.

“I guess I can live with that.” Rey’s stomach took that moment to remind her that it still needed filling and there was sustenance nearby. “Okay, that’s embarrassing.”

Laughing, Ben retrieved one of the trays and handed it to her. “I’m not surprised you’re hungry, considering you last ate at lunch yesterday. I didn’t know what you’d prefer, so I just picked something.”

He’d chosen for her an omelet with cheese, potato, sausage, and two kinds of peppers accompanied by a small bowl of salsa and a plate of buttered toast. Another bowl contained mixed fruit pieces. Single serving glass containers of milk and orange juice rounded out his choices. Rey couldn’t find fault with any of it.

“Don’t worry. I’m not picky. I’ll eat damn near anything, though I do draw the line at odd things like squid, octopus, snails, shellfish of any kind, and other so-called delicacies.” She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I could do caviar, either.”

With a bite of his own omelet speared on his fork, Ben chuckled. “Duly noted. Couldn’t convince you to eat any chocolate-covered roaches or spiders, then?”

Her mouth full, Rey tore off a corner of a toast triangle and tossed it at Ben, the piece bouncing off his shoulder. Once her mouth was empty, she said, “Ordinarily, that would have grossed me out enough to lose my appetite, but I’m too hungry right now to care.”

About the time they’d finished, a soft knock sounded at the door. Rey had a sinking feeling it was Will and, suddenly, she wished she hadn’t eaten as much as she had. Sure enough, Ben ushered Will inside, then sat beside her on the bed.

Will sat in a chair across from them. “It’s good to see you’re doing better. I seem to keep saying that.”

Oh, God, this was it. He was going to tell her she had to go. “I’m sorry I’ve been so much trouble. It seems, from the moment I stepped foot on set, something has happened to affect your timetable.”

Will instantly shook his head. “Hey, now. None of that. You haven’t caused any of the situations that have come about. I wanted you both to know I’ve been in contact with Santos. I tried to explain things, but he wouldn’t listen, as I’m sure you’re aware. So, I hear a certain photographer is now freelancing.”

“Actually, Will, she’s not.”

Will’s brows shot upward. “Oh? That was fast. Who could have possibly … ?” At Ben’s smirk and raised brows, Will rolled his eyes. “I guess I should have known. Well, that solves that. I was ready for any solutions that would enable you to stay with us.”

“You’re going to let me stay with the crew?”

“Yes,” he said slowly. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m not employed by the studio or anyone associated with the studio anymore.”

Will laughed. “That may be true, but if I want anything even remotely close to Ben’s usual standards, you have to be around in some way. I don’t think any of us would survive if you were separated for several weeks. Not at this point in time, anyway.”

Rey ducked her head, cheeks aflame. She knew for a fact  _ she  _ wouldn’t be worth anything if she had to be away from Ben that long. In time, this desire to stay in close proximity to each other would likely lessen, but until then, Rey didn’t want to be anywhere Ben wasn’t.

“Rey, I feel I have to warn you to be prepared for when your relationship gets out. There will be talk. Innuendos and speculation. Aspersions cast on your character. You need to be ready for that. Even things about your past that you’d rather keep hidden will likely be dug up and dissected for everyone’s consumption.”

“Ben and I have talked about this a little already.” Her chin lifted defiantly. “They can say what they want. I’m tired of living up to someone else’s standards. Been there, done that, not going back.”

Ben threaded their fingers together and brought her hand to his lips for a quick kiss. “That’s my girl. Tell them all where they can go.” He then chuckled. “I had a conversation with Gigi about this once, and she told me you were just as likely to  _ give them the bird _ , I believe her exact words were, as you were to let them get to you.”

“Maybe at one point they would have, but not now. I’m living my life the way  _ I  _ want to.”

Will stood and said teasingly, “You’d better hold onto her, Ben. If you lose her, I’ll be forced to knock some sense into you and make you grovel at her feet to take you back.’

“You wouldn’t have to. I’d already be there. Hey, did Santos tell you how he came by his information?”

Will heaved a sigh, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair. He seemed reluctant to say anything. “As it turns out, April is Marcos’ step-granddaughter or something like that.”

“Ah. So, she didn’t like ending up in the river and went yelling to him.”

Rey snorted derisively. “When did we de-age to little kids?”

Will simply shook his head. “Some people never grow up. Well, we’ll be leaving in about forty-five for the last bit of shooting planned here.”

Once Will left, Rey went digging through her purse, remembering what she’d been meaning to discuss with Ben. Pulling out a folded check and unfolding it, she held it up. “What is this?”

“The check I owed you?”

Rey waved said check around as she spoke. “Ben, this is  _ way  _ more than what we agreed on. It’s like … triple … what it should be.”

“I gave you what I thought you were worth. No, I take that back. You’d never take the amount I think you’re actually worth.”

Rey held the check out to him. “I’m not taking  _ this _ .”

Ben took the check, folded it, and gave it back to her. “Take it. Use it. Give it away. I don’t care. Just take it.” He flashed her his crooked grin. “Besides, you’ll be taking my checks regularly anyway.”

Well, he had her there. They hadn’t even discussed payment amounts either. Dropping her head back, Rey let out a defeated breath. “Fine, but I’m only keeping what we agreed on. The rest I’ll donate to the VA buildings or something.”

“As I said, do with it what you want. Hell, give it to Rose, even.” Then, he pulled the look she couldn’t resist: the puppy dog look where he pleaded with those gorgeous brown eyes of his.

Rey, unable to help herself, actually laughed. “Okay, okay. I said I’d take it. Damn it, I hate it when you do that to me. That’s playing unfairly. You know that, right?”

With raised brows, Ben laughed incredulously, his eyes sparkling with a teasing glint. “You want to talk about playing unfairly? What about those two pictures you texted me?  _ That  _ was playing unfairly. You already had me so worked up I could barely think straight. Then, you went and added the one on top of it.” Ben added with chuckle, “I was ready for Tage to leave before he’d even arrived at my house! The second one merely added fuel to the fire.”

Rey, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, slid the check back into her purse, shrugging unapologetically. “You’re the one who said you wanted a photo.”

She squeaked when Ben suddenly grabbed her around her waist, and lifting her, walked them back to his bed where he fell backward, rolling to his side so they lay facing each other. The instant they hit the mattress, Ben’s wriggling fingers seemed to be everywhere. Her sides. Under her chin. Behind her knees. The bottoms of her feet.  _ Everywhere!  _ She hadn’t even known she was this ticklish! She squirmed and giggled until she couldn’t breathe.

Then, the nature of his touches changed. Ben’s fingers skimmed all the places he’d tickled. The look in his eyes when they met hers? Damn! Talk about instant arousal! Rey reached for him the same moment he reached for her, lips meeting lips hungrily. His palm sliding up the outside of her thigh, fingers skimming under her sleep shorts, stoked her desire, sending little bolts of electricity straight to her center. Feeling desperate for his touch, Rey hooked her leg over his upper thigh, hoping that would encourage further exploration. Her breath caught in her lungs when his hand shifted so his fingers skimmed the inside of her thigh as they moved away.

Two could play at  _ that  _ game. Rey worked her hand down Ben’s chest until she reached his belt, stopping there to toy with the buckle. Taking her time, her fingers dipped to the hardened bulge beneath it, barely making contact, his labored breaths and guttural moan a lovely reward for her efforts. However, if he wanted to tease, she could do so right back. Her fingers glided up over his belt, heading for his chest, when their progress was abruptly halted.

_ “Please, Rey. I need your touch.” _

_ “I need yours.” _

Mindful of their time constraint, neither hesitated. Rey gasped as Ben’s fingers made contact, arching her hips into them. Only two thin layers separated skin from skin and it was an intoxicating thought. His thumb easily found her clit through the loose material and instantly began working the little nub, his other fingers sliding over her, finding her entrance and rubbing across it. Barely able to breathe, she arched into the touch, helpless to stifle the frenzy with which she moved, nor could she hold back the needy little sounds that escaped between her lips.

Not wanting to be the only one enjoying herself, however, Rey slid her hand back into position, using her fingers and the heel of her hand to rub, press, and squeeze the hardness underneath her, just as he’d shown her before. She wished she could touch him through less material, but for the moment, she’d take what she could get. Ben didn’t seem to care, his hips thrusting into her hand, his breathing shortening to little puffs of air.

“God, I’m so close! Shit, I can’t …! Fuck, I’m going to …! Come with me, sweetheart! Come with me!”

And she did, the desperation in Ben’s voice the catalyst that propelled her off the edge. “Oh, God, Ben!”

The pleasure seemed to go on forever, not that Rey would ever complain. Eventually, it receded, leaving them shaky, sweaty, and sluggish. 

“Okay,” Ben managed to say after a few moments of recovery, “I think you’ve finally done it. I think I’m dead now.”

Breathlessly, Rey chuckled. “Oh. That’s too bad. I was just getting used to having you around. Hmmmm. Well, I guess I’ll have to find someone else to take care of these needs that I have developed again. Maybe Julian would - ”

Ben’s eyes flew open, possessiveness written all over his face. On Wren, that look had terrified her, had eventually beaten her down to nothing, due to its calculating coldness. On Ben, however, it was endearing and made her heart melt, there was so much heat in his gaze. Wren saw her as a possession, something to own and control. Ben saw her as a person, someone to love and cherish, and allow her to fly on her own. Rey could only assume that was the reason it didn’t bother her to see it on his face, why she, in fact and deep down, loved it. 

She giggled. “Oh, look. I guess you’re not as dead as you thought.”

Ben’s lips curled into his lopsided grin. “I don’t think Julian would be capable of taking care of you like that, sweetheart.”

Rey pretended to give it some thought. “No, you’re right. He wouldn’t. Now, if  _ you  _ were the one to go to him - ”

She laughed as Ben’s entire face reddened. So, he  _ did  _ realize his co-star was gay. She hadn’t been certain. Speaking of, Rey glanced at the clock and bolted upright. “Damn! We only have twenty minutes! I need to shower.”

“Go ahead. I need to call Phasma.”

Rey winced. “It’s still really early back home. I don’t think she’ll appreciate being awakened this early.”

Ben shrugged, dialing. “When she finds out I’m calling about you, she won’t care.” He leaned in to give her a quick kiss. “Now, go before we end up late.”

As she dashed through the door to her own room, she heard Ben profusely apologizing to Phasma for calling her in the middle of the night.

BR

In this particular scene,  _ Lucas  _ was being chased through the jungle by some local ruffians he’d run afoul of. A path had been somewhat cleared out and marked for Ben and the others so they didn’t get completely turned around. This scene led up to  _ Lucas  _ meeting  _ Zara  _ again and, eventually, their relationship being rekindled. After seeing where the film cameras were setting up along the path, Rey situated herself farther along behind them, ready to have Ben running in her direction, looking straight at her for once. Having seen firsthand how physical acting could be, it was no wonder Ben was as fit as he was. Rey, wasn’t sure she’d have been able to do it.

The call to action brought her out of her musings and she readied her camera. She heard them well before she ever caught sight of Ben, the little band of outlaws calling out to each other and to  _ Lucas _ . Feet pounded through the jungle underbrush. Foliage shivered and swayed. Ben suddenly appeared, constantly looking behind him and calling back at his co-stars whatever the script had called for. Rey wasn’t certain, but it sounded as if he was goading them in some way. Once he’d passed the movie camera, he’d slowed to a stop, gave her a small grin and turned back the way he’d come. Rey lost count of the number of times the scene had to be shot. Someone would fall and break character. Someone else would have a wardrobe issue. Someone else would sneeze or cough. It seemed to go on and on. Ben never complained, just gave her a little smile and returned to his place. Rey shook her head incredulously. The man was a saint!

Will had finally gotten what he wanted and Ben had returned to talk to him about something when Rey felt something heavy, long, and supple land on her shoulder. Terrified to even look, Rey squeezed her eyes shut. The thing fell over her chest and wrapped itself around her waist.  _ Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! What do I do?  _ Opening an eye just the tiniest bit, she caught sight of a cream color with dark brown splotches all along the back of its muscular body, its tongue flicking out occasionally. She squeaked in fear, her heart pounding. She couldn’t breathe!

The huge snake continued to slither over her, looping back up and over her other shoulder. The grip of those underside muscles was the oddest thing she’d ever felt before - and  _ not  _ something she ever wanted to experience again. Paralyzed by fear, Rey opened her eyes to see through the various leaves that Ben was down the path still chatting with Will, his back to her.

Swallowing a few times, she licked her lips and forced air past them. “Ben!” It only came out as a scratchy whisper. She took as deep a breath as she could - which was to say it wasn’t deep at all - and tried again. “Ben!”

Rushing footsteps crashed in her direction, and Rey sighed in relief. He’d heard her! Despite all the running he’d already done, Ben was running to help her. He burst through the underbrush and slid to halt when he saw her, his eyes widening. By the time he appeared, Rey’s panic was taking her over, a couple of tears slipping down her cheeks.

“ _ Shit!  _ Okay, sweetheart. Hold on. Try to breathe. Can you do that for me?” Barely glancing over his shoulder, he yelled, “Will! Get the local! Get Luis! We have a problem! Get him  _ now _ !” Turning back to her, he slowly approached. “Just hold on, Rey. You’re going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise. Just keep breathing for me. Inhale. Exhale. You’re doing well.”

Minutes passed before the local guide and Will showed up. Way too many in Rey’s opinion, but at least she wasn’t near panic now, thanks to Ben’s calm demeanor. Their local guide didn’t hesitate in the slightest. He stepped forward, grasped the snake behind the head with one hand and began unwinding it from Rey with the other. The instant she was freed, she dashed to Ben, her arms wrapping themselves around his waist and holding tightly, burying her face into his chest, taking in lungfuls of sweat and a hint of spice.

“She was never in any danger,” the guide said to them. He held up the part of the ten-foot snake in his hands. “These guys look dangerous, but they’re harmless. They eat lizards, frogs, small creatures. He simply mistook her for another tree.”

With a sniffling chuckle, Rey replied, “Then those things must be blind. It should have been whispering sweet nothings in  _ Ben’s _ ear.”

Ben’s arms momentarily tightened around her, but he responded with wry humor. “Don’t sell yourself short, Rey.” Rey snorted at the pun, though she had yet to lift her head. “You heard Luis. That’s a male snake. It obviously knew who it wanted to get closer to.” He leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Not that I blame it. It has great taste.”

She couldn’t help it. She laughed. Count on Ben to somehow make her laugh when she least felt like doing so. She drew in another deep breath, grateful to be able to do so again, gave Ben a squeeze, then stepped back.

“Thanks. Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out. Again.”

One of Ben’s hands gently wrapped itself around her chin, his thumb lightly caressing her cheek. “Hey. Don’t apologize, Rey. I would have freaked out, too, if that thing decided to drop in on me.”

“Ben’s right, Rey. There’s no need to apologize. I’m just glad it turned out to be harmless. Luis, thanks for the help.”

Luis nodded, walked the snake over to a tree and encouraged it to climb into the tree’s branches. “No problem.”

As they all headed back to where their equipment sat, Ben draped an arm over Rey’s shoulders, bringing her close to his side. “I think you need a good luck charm, sweetheart.”

Rey snorted. “With the luck I’ve had so far? I think I need about twenty of them.”

Ben chuckled. “We’ll cover you head to toe. Bad luck wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Feeling much more like herself, Rey grinned. “Nope. It would just wait around for the moment I had to remove them all - because I would at some point - and then strike. Probably gang up on me, too. I don’t think I could take a mega hit of it all at once.”

Secretly, she did still worry that something catastrophic would happen, either to one of the actors, crew, or equipment due to her presence. How could she not since everything that had occurred had been  _ after  _ she’d arrived on set? No, she’d put those thoughts out of her mind. She had to or she’d go crazy and would forget to have fun with the cast, the crew, visiting exotic locations, but most especially with Ben.

Shooting all the scenes with this little gang of outlaws took all morning. Since they would be leaving the following morning, Will, Gigi, Julian, Ben, a few other crew members, Luis and herself decided to eat lunch together and discuss what had been accomplished thus far. It wasn’t until she was heading back to their tables from a trip to the restroom that she thought to check her phone on the off-chance Rose had contacted her. She had two messages waiting. The first one stopped her in her tracks. Her and Ben’s relationship had been leaked. Every entertainment magazine and tv show covered the story, some of them in a definitively disdainful tone. All the details of her past, as Will had predicted, was out there for everyone to digest and judge her for. There were paparazzi camped outside their apartment building’s door waiting to catch a glimpse of her. Well, she’d known it would happen sooner or later.

The second message disturbed her more, leaving her feeling panicky. The single question terrified her for what it represented. Unable to tear her gaze from the screen, barely able to breathe, Rey closed the remaining distance to the table. Reaching out, she’d meant to grab Ben’s shoulder but her shaky hand managed only a fistful of shirt instead of the warm muscle underneath.

Gigi noticed her first as she reached for Ben. “Rey, honey, what’s wrong?”

Whether from Gigi’s concerned question or because he felt how badly she was trembling, Ben whipped around to face her, his eyes widening. Jumping out of his seat, he gently pushed her into it and knelt in front of her, working his magic at centering her and easing her out of panic’s grip.

Once she was breathing somewhat regularly, Ben rubbed up and down her arms and her hands. “God, sweetheart, you’re like ice. You’re pale as a ghost. What’s wrong?”

Licking her lips and swallowing, Rey held her phone up for him to take. “The last two messages.”

With brow furrowed in confusion, Ben took the phone and read the first of the two she indicated, his expression turning to resignation. Sighing, he said, “Well, we knew it would get out eventually. I’ll call Tage and see if he can do anything. Do you think Rose would mind an escort? I’m sure Finn wouldn’t mind.”

“She may not, but, Ben, that’s the least of my worries. Read the second one.”

He did so, looking back up at her in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Leaning forward so Ben could hear her better - because she wasn’t sure how well she’d be able to get the words out - Rey explained. “Wren. He used to leave those little crystal birds in my apartment to let me know he could and would be able to get in any time he wished. I couldn’t get rid of them or he’d … make me regret it. When I left New York, I smashed them all. I haven’t been able to even look at one since.”

Ben’s entire demeanor changed from concerned boyfriend to hardened Marine in an instant. Tension drew every one of his muscles taut. His fingers clamped around her phone, turning them white. His jaw could have been chiseled from stone. Though she knew he’d never seen combat while in the military, his eyes promised he was more than willing to engage in it - for her.

“Fuck!” he bit out between clenched teeth. “I’m going to kill the bastard.”

“Ben? What’s going on?”

Ben’s gaze flicked to Will then returned to her. Rey saw the question in his eyes, asking her permission to disclose to everyone there, what they feared. With a deep breath, Rey gave it.

“Will, you, Gigi, Julian, and Soules know this but the others don’t.” Ben’s gaze roamed around the table. “When Rey lived in New York, she was with Wren of First Order Electronics.” Whistles from the few who hadn’t known met that statement. “When she’d had enough, she left, came out to California. We have reason to believe he’s followed her and knows where she lives.”

Gigi gasped. “Oh, my God! Rey, are you okay?”

For the first time ever, Julian looked nothing like the happy-go-lucky man that he usually was. “Son of a bitch! Well, he’s not getting anywhere near you, Rey. I can promise you that.”

Will heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, compelling Rey to apologize once again. “Will, I’m sor-”

“Don’t say it, Rey. You have nothing to apologize for. We’ll beef up security. It won’t be a problem.”

Ben looked Will in the eye and disclosed the other thing. “The cat’s permanently out of the bag now.”

Gigi caught on instantly. “Someone leaked it? Who would’ve done that?”

Julian sat back in his chair, arms crossed. “I can think of someone. Who do we know who would be spiteful enough to do that, thinking it would drive a wedge between Ben and Rey?”

Gigi’s eyes widened. “Do you think she would? I mean, April can be a bitch, but … Nevermind, I think I just answered my own question.”

Ben pulled out his own phone, sat in the chair Rey had initially used and pulled her onto his lap so that she sat on one thigh, her side pressed into his chest. Rey buried her face into his neck momentarily and inhaled the scent that brought her so much comfort. 

“I’m calling Finn first. I want him to get to Rose. Where would she be right now?”

“At work. Let me text her.” After briefly relaying what they were doing and giving her roommate and close friend a description of Finn, Rey looked up at Ben. “I need a codeword. Something Finn can give to Rose so she knows he’s really who he claims to be.”

Ben thought about it a few moments, then came out with, “Two. One. Eight. Seven. It was his student ID number in high school.”

Rey leaned back a bit to study him, her brows raised in surprise. “And you remember it?”

Ben huffed a laugh. “Well, when someone repeats it non-stop in an effort to memorize it, it has the side effect of others remembering it, too.”

“Do you remember your own?”

“Two. Seven. Seven. Seven. Finn thought it hilarious that the numbers, when checked on a phone’s keypad, could represent my initials, not including my middle name, of course.”

Rey checked the screen for her phone’s keypad. The letter B was a two and the letter S was a seven, but what about the other two sevens? She had to fight a blush when she realized her own first initial was a seven. 

Apparently catching on to what she was doing, Ben chuckled. “Skywalker is my uncle’s last name.” In her ear, he added, “And don’t think I haven’t noticed where your first initial falls.”

Grinning in spite of the situation, Rey sent the series of numbers to Rose to use in verifying Finn’s identity. She also insisted Rose take a selfie with Finn and send it to her to prove Finn was with her. The instant Ben hung up from his call with Finn, Rey informed Rose that he would be there at the shop within forty-five minutes.

Ben punched in another set of numbers, then, without preamble, got right down to it once the call connected. “Tage. The asshole’s been in Rey’s apartment. Rose texted Rey, asking when she bought a crystal bird. Wren used to leave those things for Rey in her old place. She’d never actually get herself one, can’t even stand the sight of them.” Ben listened a few moments. Rey could hear Tage’s voice but not what was said. Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yes, I’m well aware of that. We’ll be fine. Finn will be shadowing Rose as much as he can. I want Wren found, Tage. You’d better hope you find him before I ever come across him.” Another pause. “I don’t  _ care  _ how that sounds. Just find him.”

Ben forcefully mashed the disconnect “button’ on the screen and dropped his phone onto the table. Rey instantly perched her arm on his shoulder to slide her fingers into the hair at his neck, leaving her thumb to skim over his cheek, hoping to calm him down.

“Don’t be mad at Tage. I’m sure he was only trying to help. You did confess to wanting to commit bodily harm to someone straight to a police detective.”

Ben let out a long sigh, the tension in him seeping away. “I know. I just don’t want Wren to think he can get away with pulling this shit with you again.”

“He won’t get away with it for long. I have absolute faith in Tage’s ability to track him down.”

Ben lifted his own hand to caress her cheek, offering her a half-hearted smile. “I do, too. It’s just the time between now and then that concerns me.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Have Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading! Can you spot the Knight of Ren?

**_Even in hard times, there’s a possibility to have fun._ **

**_\-- Eyden I, Woman’s Book: Only for Men_ **

Once Rey received the text from Rose that said Finn had arrived, along with photographic proof, Ben noticed her relax more, enough to sit in the chair beside him. She even managed to eat and laugh at some of Julian’s absurd tales. When he’d felt her hand grip his shirt, he’d known something terrible had happened. Seeing her white as a ghost, shaking like a leaf and struggling to breathe had only confirmed it. Pushing his food around on his plate, Ben let out a heavy, inaudible sigh. He had hoped to bask in the relative anonymity of the world’s ignorance regarding his and Rey’s relationship just a little while longer. They’d had, what, four days? Five? Certainly less than a week! Every aspect of his relationship with Rey had been quick to develop. He supposed he should have guessed its exposure to the world would have been equally as quick.

His blood boiled anew thinking about the other bombshell Rey had dropped on him. He’d meant what he’d said to Tage. If that son of a bitch came near Rey while _he_ was around, the bastard would pay for every little thing done to her. Beside him, Rey snorted in laughter at something Gigi said, bringing a tiny smile to Ben’s face. God, she impressed the hell out of him! Rather than succumbing to her panic and becoming little more than an anxious mess, she’d placed her trust in _his_ friends to take care of things and had resolved to let it go at that. He wasn’t certain he would have been strong enough to do the same.

A nudge at his elbow drew his attention to Will, who suggested, “Take her somewhere this afternoon. Your scenes are done. You both deserve a little time to relax.”

Ben shook his head. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, considering the truth is out. The last thing Rey needs is a bunch of rabid fans or just people, in general, staring at her.”

“Ben, she’s going to get that now, regardless. Wouldn’t it be better to ease her into it here in this relatively small place? Besides, there’s plenty of places that offer a person some privacy.”

Ben took some time to think about it. Will made a good point. If there was to be a fan mob, there would likely be a smaller one here. It would give her a taste of what it could be like elsewhere. Some free time to wander and do tourist-y things with Rey sounded fantastic. He really didn’t get to do that kind of thing often anymore. Such was the life of an actor, but he wouldn’t change a thing. Getting to pretend to be other people, to live a different life was a fantasy come true for his nerdy heart. Most of all, it’s how he met Rey. 

Nudging her to get her attention, Ben asked next to her ear to be certain he was heard, “Would you like to do some sightseeing this afternoon before Phasma arrives?”

Rey turned to him, her brow furrowing cutely with her confusion. “You don’t have any more filming to do?”

Amusement curling one corner of his mouth, Ben shook his head. “I’m done. Some of the others are still filming and I think they want to get a few more aerial shots, but I’m free for the remainder of the day. Well, we’ll want to come back when Phasma gets here, but until then … ”

Rey chewed her bottom lip, uncertainty clouding her features. “Do you think we should? I mean, with our relationship now public knowledge, if people recognize you, you’ll get swarmed.”

Ben didn’t miss the way she’d excluded herself in her statement. “ _ We  _ would get swarmed. You’ll be right beside me, not pushed to the sidelines. I won’t allow that to happen. If you’d rather not, though, we don’t have to. I just thought maybe you’d like to look around.”

The sun could have taken up residence inside Rey for the brilliance of the smile she gave him and the light that shined in her eyes. “I’d love to!”

Damn, she looked so beautiful, her excitement radiating from her like a little child at Christmas. Ben motioned back toward the hotel area with his head. “Go get your camera. You’ll probably wish you had it.”

Rey bolted out of her seat, took five steps, rushed back to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be quick.” Then, dashed back to her room where she’d left her camera case.

“Man, whatever you said to her just now, keep it up,” Julian teased. “She looked like a literal ray of sunshine just then. What  _ did _ you say to her, anyway?”

Ben shrugged self-consciously, heat prickling in his cheeks and ears. “I simply asked if she was interested in playing tourist for a couple of hours.”

Gigi practically melted. “Awww. That was sweet. After the recent developments, you both deserve the distraction. Although, that’s not the kind of distraction I would have thought you’d offer.” She laughed when Ben’s face turned bright red. “You know I’m just teasing.”

“On that note, I think I’ll wait for Rey in the lobby.”

Oh, he knew Gigi had only been joking with him, but Ben felt it a matter of self-preservation to get away from that table as soon as he could. Who knew what else she would come out with if he stayed? Something else to thoroughly embarrass him, that was for certain. She seemed to take a special delight in doing that. Thankfully, she didn’t do it often. He’d only had to wait a couple of minutes before Rey returned, taking his hand and beaming up at him. Her joy infectious, Ben returned the full smile, letting go of her hand to drape his arm across her shoulders, pulling her into his right side. Her hand lifted to thread their fingers together. Her other arm wrapped itself around his waist. 

“Where would you like to go first, Rey? The beach?” Ben chuckled at her shudder.

“God, no! No sand!”

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it. Why don’t we just wander some shops, then? It’ll get us out of this heat.”

“Sounds good to me.” Rey brushed away a droplet of sweat onto her shoulder.

The first shop they entered sold paintings from local artists. The colors were a bit vibrant for his taste, but to a creative person like Rey, Ben knew it was Heaven. Her gasp and expression of absolute awe confirmed it. Watching her react to each and every one, the way her eyes would widen and light up, her lips parting in various exclamations of amazement, or how she’d start to reach out to touch them, stopping halfway, it was a sight to behold and Ben drew great pleasure in it.

One painting in particular Rey studied for several minutes. The upper left corner and lower right corner sections were painted in a dark ocean blue that gave way to an electric blue color as it reached the center of the canvas, as if a shaft of sunlight penetrated the watery depths. Verdant greens, blushing pinks, and luminous lavenders made up the barrier reef depicted in the foreground. Swimming above the reef were fishes of fiery oranges, sunny yellows, ruby reds, and zebra-stripes. A lone sea turtle of varying shades of green, from a mossy shade to bright peridot, swam among the fishes.

Rey loved it, Ben could easily see it. Truthfully, it wasn’t too eye-poppingly bright. He watched as Rey bit her lip, sighed and walked away to check out another. Ben came to a quick decision. If she loved it that much, she deserved to have it. While she was distracted, Ben took the painting off the wall and took it to the clerk. After instructing them to ship it to his house, he paid, then returned to Rey’s side. None other appeared to catch her eye as much as the coral reef painting had.

The shop next door sold bright t-shirts with various depictions of Belize on them, floppy sun hats, and sunglasses, things obviously geared toward the typical tourist. Ben snorted in amusement when Rey actually bought a dark green shirt with the map of Belize on the front, along with a pair of sunglasses.

“What?” she asked. “We’re playing tourist. Might as well get something tourist-y.”

Ben held up his hands in supplication, fighting his grin. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to. I heard that snort. Hey, I could have bought that really gaudy-colored one instead.” Her eyes rounded. “Ohhh. I wonder if they have one in your size. I’d finally get you out of basic black or subdued colors in general.”

Ben eyed the shirt splashed with flamingo pink, sunset orange, and golden yellow, and actually shuddered, taking a big step back. “Uh, no. That’s okay.”

Rey huffed. “Spoilsport.”

Ben wrapped his arm around her again, letting his amusement at her pouting expression bubble up into laughter. “Come on, sweetheart. There’s plenty of other shops to visit.”

The longer he and Rey wandered in and out of the local shops, the more glances their way Ben noticed.  _ And so, it starts.  _ He glanced down at Rey, who seemed preoccupied with studying something in a display window, not appearing to have noticed what he had.  _ I hope she’s ready for this. First come the looks. Then, the chatter and pointing. The cell phones come out next and last, but not least, the autograph requests.  _ Right on cue, the excited whispers among several locals and tourists reached his ears. When he spotted the first phone raised for a photo, Ben pulled Rey into a random shop, hoping to buy them a little time.

This one turned out to sell various jewelry items. One particular bracelet caught his eye and he knew Rey would like it. It had been made of preserved coffee beans and white açai berries, two beans between each berry, strung on some sort of heavy string, and was adjustable. It was unique and reminded him of Rey in that respect. Tossing a glance over his shoulder to see if she was paying him any attention - she wasn’t - Ben plucked the bracelet from the shelf and took it to the counter to purchase it.

Rejoining her, he saw she held a necklace in her hand, studying the delicately carved, soft pink, five-petaled flower pendant nearly an inch and a half long on a black satin cord.  _ Made of pink conch shell _ , the information tag read. Rey held it up to her neck.

“What do you think?”

Why? Why did women do that? His mother used to ask him those kinds of questions all the time and Ben  _ still  _ didn’t understand why. What was he supposed to say? That whatever being asked about was great, even if it was a lie? Or, was he supposed to be truthful, even if it hurt? What was it they were looking for? Rey’s expression fell at his prolonged silence, and Ben had to scramble for something to say.

“It’s pretty, Rey. Honestly. The more important thing, though, is do  _ you  _ like it?”

Rey skimmed the pad of her thumb over the smooth, polished surface of the flower. “I do. It’s kind of different.”

“Then get it, sweetheart.” Ben turned her toward the sales counter and encouraged her with gentle push.

Her expression clearing, Rey faced him again, smiling full-force. “I think I will.” 

Before he could stop her, she pulled him down for a quick kiss.  _ Well, that’s now all over social media. If there had only been speculation about our relationship before, there was the confirmation.  _ Not that he cared, really. It was merely the idea of his and Rey’s every move being watched that left him feeling exposed, a side effect of his status he really didn’t like but had no control over. A quick glance out the window confirmed that he and Rey would be intercepted the instant they stepped through the door. As he waited for Rey to finish, Ben pulled out his ever-present pack of gum, popping a piece into his mouth. Truly, he didn’t mind interacting with fans, he simply preferred to do so in a controlled environment.

Keeping his eyes trained on Rey, Ben waited for the moment she realized the crowd building outside. Her bright and joyous expression slid off her face, her eyes widening before flying to meet his.  _ She looks so pale, like she wants to run and hide. Shit!  _ Ben ran a hand over his face, heart racing at the thought, and searched for another way out, but there was none. Turning back to Rey, he saw she still had that deer in the headlights look.  _ Come on, sweetheart. I could really use your strength right now. _ This was it. Could she handle everything that came with being his girlfriend?  _ Would _ she?

Something of his own anxiety must have shown - or maybe she just noticed the gum packet still in his hand - because when she faced him again, her expression softened. Then, she took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, determination practically oozing from her every pore. She crossed the distance between them in confident strides, taking his hand when she reached him, threading their fingers together. To his everlasting shock, he had just enough time to notice the glint of mischief in her eyes before she pulled him down to her level once more, her lips moving over his in mimicry of their first kiss, reassuring rather than discovering.

It wasn’t until she’d pulled away that he remembered the gum he’d been chewing, finding it safely tucked under his tongue, though he didn’t remember putting it there. His lips twitched at Rey’s blooming grin.

“You do realize what you’ve done, don’t you?” he asked, amusement lacing his voice.

With a playful tilt of her head and raised brows, Rey replied, “Just proved for a fact that we’re together? That there was no need for innuendos and rumors?”

Softly chuckling, Ben shook his head, amazed at her cheekiness. “That, too, I suppose. That kiss has probably hit every social media outlet out there, along with the first one you gave me.” With a nod in the crowd’s direction, he added, “You probably stirred the sharks into a feeding frenzy.”

“So, let’s go feed them a bit.” Lifting their joined hands, Rey checked Ben’s watch. “It has to be nearly time to get back anyway.”

“We don’t have much choice, at any rate. One word of caution. Don’t stop. If you stop walking, they’ll probably surround us and we won’t be going anywhere.”

Rey nodded decisively. “No stopping. Got it.”

Ben glanced out the window again, nearly grimacing at the multitude of people hanging around with their phones out. His hand reflexively clamped into a fist, crumpling the gum packet, reminding him of the piece he’d been chewing. Furiously working that mashed piece, Ben took a deep, calming breath, letting it out slowly through his nose. A hand gently cupping his chin and exuding the slightest pressure to get him to turn away from the view actually startled him.

“Hey. I’ll be right beside you, Ben. We’ll keep walking, remember?”

Her reassuring  _ him  _ was the irony of all ironies, something not lost on Ben, causing him to laugh self-deprecatingly. “Shouldn’t this be the other way around? Shouldn’t I be the one to reassure  _ you  _ that everything will be fine?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Rey gently tugged on his hand. “Come on. The sooner we get out there, the better. I have a feeling that, if we make them wait longer, it’ll just be worse.”

Firmly gripping Rey’s hand in his, Ben led them out of the shop. Instantly, the crowd of fans closed in on them, shouting questions, shoving glossy photos under his nose for autographs, and phones up recording it all.

“Ben! Ben! Can I get a selfie with you?!”

“Ben! Can I have your autograph?”

“Ben, look over here!”

“Ben! Are you here on vacation or work?!”

“Ben, is this the new flavor of the month?”

Ben had mostly kept his head down and signed some photos as he and Rey headed for the hotel, but that question had him whipping around to face the man who had dared to insult Rey in such a manner, eyes glinting like stone, lips compressed. The only thing that stopped him from making a complete scene was Rey’s death grip on his arm, tugging him back in the direction they’d been walking. Ben did get a little pleasure out of the other man’s automatic backward step. Forcing a smile onto his face, he posed for a few pictures, but mostly signed more autographs, while pushing through the crowd. Eventually, a few of the local authorities showed up to disperse them, much to Ben’s eternal gratitude. He gave them a nod of thanks, and, still holding tightly to Rey’s hand, used his long strides to get them to the hotel faster, despite Rey having to nearly run to keep up.

Once inside, Ben checked the time, then headed straight for the cantina area of the lobby. Phasma should be there any time. Ordering the same drinks they had before, he led Rey to the same table they had used. Just as he set the drinks down, his phone rang. Checking the ID, he groaned, took a breath, then answered.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Benjamin! I really didn’t expect you to pick up. I thought you’d be filming still.”

“Finished with my scenes this morning.”

“Oh, well, that’s good. So, when were you going to tell your father and me about this girl? You can’t deny anything. I’ve seen the photos splattered all over the social media. Who is she? What is she like? She looks really young. Just how old is she?”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck in obvious discomfort. “Yeah, sorry that you had to see that and learn of it that way. I was going to tell you and Dad, I just really hadn’t had time. Things have happened rather quickly.”

“Oh? From what I’ve heard, she’s a bit … loose … with her affections. This is just a fling, then?”

Ben’s hand clamped around the phone, his voice short when he snapped, “Don’t believe everything you hear, Mom. That’s just talk. I’d have thought you’d know better than to believe stuff like that. You know what this business is like.”

“Oooh. Defensive. She must really mean something to you, then. When are we going to meet her?”

Ben sighed, running his free hand through his hair. He should have known his mother was only baiting him. Reaching out, he took Rey’s hand, his thumb caressing the back of hers and stared right into her eyes as he responded to his mother’s observation and question.

“She means the world to me, Mom. As for when you can meet her,” Ben grinned at Rey’s somewhat panicked expression, “maybe after we’re done with our next location shoot. We’ll be there for a week or so. It just depends on how the filming goes. If I get another couple of days free, we can stop by. I’d rather take her by the ranch house, though. I think she’d feel more comfortable there.”

“That’s fine. Just let me know when and we’ll get everything set up. I can’t wait to meet this girl. What’s she like?”

“Well, let me tell you the same joke she told me. That will give you an idea of what she’s like.” Fully grinning at Rey’s blush, he continued on. “What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.”

Ben’s mother groaned, then chuckled. “I don’t know where you get your sense of humor from but at least she shares it. It’s really good when you can make the other person laugh. Now, I definitely look forward to meeting her.”

“I want you and Dad to meet her, too. I’ll let you know when that will be. Oh, and Mom, remind me again just how much older than you Dad is?”

“Alright, alright. I get it. I’m sorry. Well, I’ll let you go. I hope it won’t be too long before I get your next call.”

Ben, spotting Phasma and someone trailing her entering the cantina area, waved them over. “Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you when Rey and I can visit. Bye.”

“The ranch house? Your parents own  _ two  _ houses?”

“It’s more my uncle’s place, really. Skywalker Ranch. My parents live in the main house. My uncle has his own place elsewhere on the property. It’s up near Lake Tahoe. It’s where they go to unwind. Try not to let it bother you. If it’s any consolation, my mother already seems to like you.”

Rey smiled weakly. “That’s something, I guess.”

Phasma finally reached their table and pulled up a chair. Ben eyed the man she’d brought to guard Rey when necessary and had to do a double-take. The guy could have passed for the star of the show  _ Prison Break _ , Wentworth Miller. Same height. Same build. Same light olive complexion. This guy, however, had short, dark, wavy hair and green eyes.

“Well, I wish I could say I was here under better circumstances.” She motioned to the other man. “This is Adam Kuruk.” Both second syllables of the names were stressed, Adam rhyming with comm and Kuruk rhyming with nuke. “He’s one of my top guys.”

Ben received a nod in greeting from Kuruk, but to Rey, he vowed, “I promise that you won’t have a thing to worry about. You’ll be perfectly safe. I won’t crowd you unless I feel the situation warrants it. If it comes to that, however, I ask that you do exactly as I say.”

Rey had scooted closer to Ben when Phasma and Kuruk had reached them, and now, he felt her hand clutch at his knee. Whether from anxiety at being around this stranger or her desire to remain independent, he couldn’t be certain. Reaching for her hand, he gave it a little squeeze, hoping to reassure her either way.

“I … I think I can handle that.”

Kuruk gave her a nod. “Good. I’m very familiar with Morocco. I’ve been all over the country. Anywhere you want to go, you let me know, and I’ll make sure you get there. I’ll compile some places that you might like, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, sure. That’d be great, actually.”

“Then, I’ll get to work. It’s good to meet you both.”

Rey’s new bodyguard excused himself. Silence settled between the three a few seconds until Ben broke it. “So, Phasma, exactly how bad is it back home?”

The woman took in a bracing breath, let it out slowly. “I won’t lie. It’s pretty crazy. Stories. Rumors.  _ Pictures.  _ It’s blowing up all the social media platforms as well as the rag mags and entertainment shows.”

Propping an elbow on the table, Ben dropped his head into his hand and groaned, then huffed out a breath, running his hand through his hair. “Damn. Just what I hoped we could put off for a while.”

The hand on his knee tightened. “Ben, don’t worry about it. Everything else happened quickly. Why should this be any different?”

Ben turned an awed gaze to Rey, floored at her cavalier attitude. It wasn’t that long ago she’d looked terrified at the prospect of being the center of attention with him. His mind recalled how she’d snapped out of it and had actually taken charge to some extent. She’d talked him right out of his own anxiety. Had kissed him in full view of them all, even, to reassure him that she was with him, that things would be okay. Here she was, doing it again!

“Doesn’t it bother you in the slightest what they could be saying about you? I’ve seen this kind of thing happen before, I’ve seen how it’s ruined relationships. That doesn’t bother you?” It certainly did him! The worked-over piece of gum in his mouth began to get worked over some more at the mere thought of the nasty things that were likely being said about her.

Rey turned her chair to face him fully, turning the hand on his knee to clasp the hand covering hers. “I’ve already said that I’m done living my life to someone else’s standards.” She simply shrugged. “Let them talk. They don’t care about what’s true and what isn’t. To tell you the truth, I’m going to do my best to find the humor in it. That’s the best ‘revenge’.”

Ben could do nothing but stare and marvel at Rey’s response. Then, she grinned at him, setting off a fire inside him so blazing hot that all he could think about was hauling her out of there to one of their rooms. By the look in her eyes, she knew it, too. Damn! The way she could turn him on so completely with just a look or a grin … bordered on the irrational, the illogical, the preposterous, and all the other synonyms he could think of. As his blood pooled in a place not necessarily wanted while in public, his salivary glands worked overtime at her remembered taste, forcing him to swallow or drool. Swallowing was difficult but much more dignified than doing an imitation of Pavlov’s dogs.

“Okay, I apologize for everything Tage and I put you through, Ben, now that I know what it must have been like for you when the three of us were hanging out. Sincerely, I do. However, you might want to rein yourself in before you do something meant to be private and have it all over every media outlet across the globe. You can devour her later.”

Ben startled badly at Phasma’s voice, having completely forgotten she sat at the table with him and Rey. The second her actual words penetrated his desire-logged brain, heat of a completely different kind burned in his cheeks and his ears. Tearing his eyes from Rey, Ben briefly met Phasma’s before dropping them to the table, clearing his throat. After a moment or two, he surreptitiously studied everyone around them, searching for anyone who might have been paying them too much attention, finding no one.

Phasma actually laughed. “Now I don’t feel as if I’m about to be burned alive. So, Rey, how have things been for you here? Is it much different shooting here as it is back home?”

“Oh, uh, it’s been great, not counting when Ben nearly fell off the side of a rock, me getting stung by a stupid ant, having to put a blonde bimbo in her place, getting mistaken for a tree by some huge snake, and getting fired by my boss.”

Phasma whistled. “Well, it’s been quite the adventure for you, then. Hasn’t turned you off coming on location, has it?”

Rey shook her head rather emphatically. “Are you kidding? No way. Alright, I could have done without the ant sting and the snake incident but I’m sure stuff like that won’t happen all the time.”

“Why were you fired?” Phasma winced. “Oh, wait. Is it because of your relationship?”

“Yes, but the guy’s an idiot. As it turned out, the blonde bimbo I had to set straight went crying to her step-grandfather, aka my boss. She leaked it to the press. No proof, but fairly certain.”

“Ugh. I hate petty women. Gives the rest of us bad names.” Phasma’s expression grew somber. “Sorry to hear about your other situation. I hope your roommate is okay.”

The light in Rey’s eyes dimmed a little, so Ben jumped into the conversation. “Finn’s with her. From what Rey has told me about her, they should get along great.”

Phasma chuckled. “I don’t know whether to be happy or appalled about that.”

Ben could certainly understand the sentiment. “Rey and I are hoping they cancel each other out.”

Phasma nodded her agreement with that. “That would certainly be a good thing. I swear, sometimes the way Finn carries on, it gives me a headache. I don’t know how you and Tage have put up with him for so long.”

Ben shrugged. “Some things you just get used to.”

After chatting with Phasma a while longer, Ben and Rey decided to brave the crowd once more so Rey could get some pictures that had nothing to do with the film. They went to one of the conservation parks. Upon learning who was visiting, the workers insisted on giving them a tour in a small motorized vehicle, stopping occasionally to point out various animals so Rey could take photos. The most exciting photo was one of a jaguar up on a tree limb overhanging the hiking trail before it dashed away into the thicker jungle.

By the time the two made it back to the hotel, it was time for dinner. Both of them exhausted from the heat, they decided to simply order room service. Rey went to her room to shower. After he’d finished ordering, Ben took his own shower. Cuddling on the sofa, they half-dozed while waiting for dinner. The knock on the door jolted Ben into wakefulness. 

“Rey, are you awake? Dinner’s here.”

From the vicinity of his chest came her slightly slurred response, “I’d rather just stay right here, but I’m also starving, so … ”

With a soft chuckle, Ben slid out from behind Rey and answered the door. They ate in near silence, too tired to do much more. Rey eventually set her plate aside. “Whose brilliant idea was it to go from humid jungle heat to dry desert heat? I mean, seriously. Mix some mountains in there somewhere.”

Ben gawked at Rey’s complaint.  _ Shit, did no one tell her? She probably isn’t prepared for the second half of this trip!  _ “Uh, Rey. Only the first half of our time there will be in the heat. The other half we’ll be spending in the mountains. Didn’t anyone tell you?”

Rey looked up at him blankly. “Uh, no. I was told Morocco. That was it. No one mentioned cool weather, so I packed for more heat. What am I going to do? It’s not like I’m going to find heavy clothing or coats here or there, am I?”

Setting his own empty plate aside, Ben gathered her close to him. “I’m sure there will be time to find you something. If need be, I’m sure Gigi will be willing to let you borrow something of hers.”

Rey made a noise in her throat that screamed  _ I doubt that.  _ “You don’t think she would?”

“It’s not that, really.” Rey looked up at him, searching for something, but what Ben didn’t know. Her brows rose, her lips forming an incredulous smile. “You really have no clue?”

Utterly confused as to her meaning, Ben shook his head. “No clue about what? I guess I don’t. Tell me.”

Rey turned to face him more fully, staring at him for a full five seconds before she spoke. “Ben, I really don’t think Gigi’s clothes will fit me that well. She’s … ” A pretty pink suddenly tinged her cheeks. “ … more gifted in certain areas than I am. I can’t believe you haven’t noticed.”

When her meaning dawned on him, Ben lightly grasped Rey’s hips and pulled her forward against his chest so she had to straddle him. One hand followed the contour of her body, dipping in at the waist, flaring out again over her ribcage, up to her shoulder, and back inward to rest gently along her jaw. 

Ben brought her lips close to his, murmuring, “You have plenty of curves, Rey. Never doubt that. Your curves do incredible things to me.” Taking one of her hands, he placed it over his heart, where it beat faster than before. “Feel that? That’s because of you, sweetheart.”

He skimmed her lips with his own in a kiss that promised so much more when they had the energy for such things. “Stay with me tonight. Just to sleep. I want to feel you beside me. I want to hold you.”

Just as softly as he had spoken, Rey replied, “You really  _ are  _ a romantic, Ben Solo. Stated like that, no woman could resist that request. But then, you had me at  _ Stay with me tonight.  _ So, yes. I’ll stay. Let me go change into my sleepwear.”

Ben tightened his arms around her when she started to move away. “Or, you could just wear one of my shirts. Unless, of course, you’d be too uncomfortable, that you’d feel too, I don’t know, exposed, or something.”

A few moments passed before Rey smiled tenderly at him. “Give me one of your shirts.”

Setting her away from him so he could move, Ben dug out one of his favorites, a pocket tee made of brushed cotton so it felt extra soft and handed it to her. Gathering his own standard nightwear of t-shirt and sleep pants, he motioned to the bathroom.

“I’ll change in here. Just let me know when it’s safe to come out.”

As he changed his clothes, Ben tried really hard not to think about what Rey looked like clad in only his shirt. He let out a little snort. It’d likely be a dress on her, but oh, a sexy one. He paused to bang his head lightly against the wall. No. No thoughts like that. The last thing he wanted or she needed was for him to be aroused before even making it to bed! There’d certainly be no hiding it! He’d said just to sleep and he’d meant it. So, he focused on the next scenes that he would be shooting, ran through the lines and emotions that he’d need to call up to successfully convey his character’s emotional state.

Rey’s soft voice laced with humor and fatigue reached through the door just as he’d finished. “You can come out whenever you’re ready.”

Exiting the bathroom, Ben forced himself to focus on returning his clothes to his suitcase. That done, he had no choice but to face Rey. Fuck! He was so not prepared for the picture she made sitting there in his bed with the blankets pulled up to her hips, the collar of his shirt exposing the majority of one shoulder. And now he felt like drooling.  _ Lines! What are the lines for the first scene again? _ As casually as he could, Ben stepped over to the bed and climbed in next to her. Hitting the switch to turn off the lamp, he rolled to his side and immediately had an armful of Rey. With one arm tucked under her pillow, his other wrapped around her waist, his knee between hers, Ben let out a contented sigh, the softness of the mattress coaxing him into relaxation. He smiled when Rey snuggled against his chest, one hand tucked under her cheek, the other arm draped over his waist. Both were asleep in seconds.

Sometime later, Ben woke up to an urgent need for the bathroom and made a rather embarrassing discovery. At some point, Rey had turned around so that her back was tucked against his front … and his hand was currently wrapped around a lovely softness it had no business being wrapped around! Of their own volition, his fingers gently kneaded her through his shirt, his thumb skimming over the beaded peak. What the hell was he doing? He couldn’t -  _ shouldn’t  _ \- do this! The problem was, he couldn’t seem to stop. The more he touched and teased her, the more a different need came alive. Rey suddenly moaned and arched into his hand, effectively freezing him in place.  _ Very  _ carefully, Ben removed his hand, scooted away from her, and climbed out of bed. As he padded over to the bathroom, he ran a hand through his hair, still able to feel her soft flesh and hardened nipple. His only saving grace was that she remained blissfully unaware of what he’d done. When he returned to the bed, he faced the opposite direction, thinking that would keep his hands from wandering again.

The next time Ben awakened it was to the instant realization he was seconds away from exploding and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it save clamp his mouth shut against any noises and to  _ not move _ . Easier said than done, considering the intensity of the sensations he currently was experiencing. He’d given Rey his back thinking it would save him from embarrassing himself, but he hadn’t counted on  _ her  _ hands wandering. One had, and now … oh, God! Yes, he’d felt her hand on him before, but not with one thin layer keeping skin from skin! His heart pounding in his chest and his breathing reduced to shallow pants, he fought against what was coming, even though he knew, he  _ knew,  _ it was pointless. 

Her tempo suddenly quickened, the tightness inside increasing, hardening him further. Shit, he was about to lose it! His pillow clutched tightly in one fist and the edge of the mattress in the other, Ben found himself praying for two things. One, that Rey would stay asleep, and two, that she didn’t stop. His hips twitched in little spastic jerks in a counter rhythm to her strokes. The peak fast approaching, he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, buried his face into his pillow, biting his lip against the onslaught of curses and moans that wanted to fly from his mouth as he gave himself up to his release. Even so, a few sounds did escape.

_ Fuck! Oh, God, yes! Shit, that feels good! Fuck, yes! Oh, God! _

The pleasure-induced limbo seemed to last forever. Finally coming off that high, he collapsed back into the bed, trying not to breathe too loudly. Damn! That had been … Just … fuck! That was the only way to describe it. Now, Ben was faced with a second dilemma. What was he supposed to do? Gently move her hand and hope Rey didn’t wake? Or, let her move it on her own, hoping she didn’t notice any incriminating evidence? She made the decision for him. That hand slid upward, over his stomach to lay flat against his chest, over his heart. Ordinarily, that wouldn’t have been a bad thing, but his pulse still raced, his body trembling from the after-effects. He hoped she didn’t notice. No such luck.

“Ben?” came her sleepy inquiry, “Are you alright? Your heart is pounding. Your breathing is erratic and you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

He nearly laughed and said  _ Don’t worry. I’m just recovering from one of the best orgasms I’ve ever experienced, thanks to your skilled hand.  _ Needless to say, he didn’t. “Nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I promise.”

“Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?”

Ben lifted the hand from his chest and kissed her palm, then replaced it. “I know. There really is nothing to worry about.” He checked the clock. “Go back to sleep. We still have a couple of hours before we have to get up.”

“Well, alright. If you’re sure.”

He hadn’t convinced her, that much was certain. Ben wished he could roll over, gather her into his arms and hold her close, but he simply couldn’t. Not without doing some thoroughly humiliating - to both of them - explaining. He simply held her hand against his heart, skimming his thumb over the back of it and listened for her breaths to deepen. Once they had, Ben let out a huge breath and then had to laugh. He’d been the one to emphasize their sharing the bed was just for sleeping to reassure Rey nothing would happen, and  _ she’d  _ been the one getting  _ him _ off. Okay, so she’d been asleep while she’d done it. Still, the irony was, well, ironic. With a sigh, Ben forced himself to relax and attempt to get back to sleep, which, really, wasn’t that difficult to do.

BR

“I hate these huge time difference jumps,” Ben grumbled, sitting on the plane, an hour into their ten-hour flight to Morocco. “It throws everything off.”

Gigi glanced up from her magazine to grin at him. “Someone’s in a foul mood. What’s wrong? Didn’t get enough sleep?”

Ben checked his watch, then shot her a sour look. “It’s three o’clock in the fucking morning. How in the hell are you so chipper?”

“Because I make myself see it as a new adventure. It helps. You should try it. Besides, for you it  _ is  _ a new adventure. You have Rey with you.”

Ben darted a glance over his shoulder where Rey currently sat next to one of the photographers Santos had sent out. The girl, Lindsay or Lisa, Ben couldn’t remember which it was, had asked to talk to Rey a few minutes ago, and Rey had agreed. She’d been nervous then, understandably, but now seemed comfortable, if not tired. She happened to look up, catching his eye, and gave him the soft smile she reserved just for him. He’d nearly choked on what little breakfast he had in their room when she’d asked him if he’d slept okay. Oh, sure, he’d slept fine! So well, in fact,  _ she’d  _ had to wake him up because his alarm hadn’t. What he hadn’t told her was that she’d had a hand - quite literally - in why he’d slept so soundly. Returning Rey’s smile, he turned back to Gigi.

“That’s a good way to look at it, I suppose. At least it’ll be late enough when we get there we can go back to bed.”

“Here, here!” Julian piped up from a short distance away. He didn’t look any more comfortable in his seat than Ben did.

Gigi lowered her voice when she said, “I really don’t like the male photographer Santos sent out. He gives me the creeps. I don’t really like the way he keeps eyeing Rey, either.”

Ben’s gaze flew to the other man, Alex, catching the guy shooting Rey looks of equal parts disdain and lewdness. Narrowing his gaze on the photographer, Ben continued to stare at the man, not moving a muscle, focusing all of his energy onto getting the guy to lock eyes with him. Once he did, Ben stood to his full height.

“Ben,” Gigi started to warn him.

Ignoring her, Ben crossed the short distance to Alex and sat beside him, for once quite happy with his size since the other man was a few inches shorter than six-feet tall. “Let’s make things easy, shall we?” he asked, his voice deceptively calm. “We have to tolerate each other’s presence. That would go much smoother if you  _ stopped undressing my girlfriend with your gaze or stopped throwing her looks of disgust. _ Have I made myself clear?”

Alex had the audacity to laugh. “Oh, come on, Solo. She can’t be worth it. She’s probably spread her legs for every man she’s come across.”

Ben inhaled deeply, dangerously close to losing his temper. His hands clenched into fists just to keep them from landing on the guy’s face. “Listen, asshole, let me put this in terms even a moron like you would understand. Quit with the looks or I’ll introduce my fists to your face.”

The man’s expression turned smarmy. “And I’ll introduce you to a lawsuit. Wouldn’t that look just dandy?”

Ben started to respond when Will’s voice stopped him. “Ben, go. I’d like to have a little chat with Mr. Pruitt.”

At first, Ben thought maybe he’d let his temper get the better of him and went too far, but catching the look in Will’s eyes, he relaxed. Will didn’t suffer fools lightly and this photographer was acting precisely like one. Will would set the man straight in a hurry. With a smug half-grin very reminiscent of his father, Ben nodded in acquiescence and stood to leave. He gave Will a quick nod of thanks, then returned to his seat to find Rey sitting next to it, watching him closely with a questioning expression.

Not wanting to get into it, Ben deflected the topic away from Alex the Asshole. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself with, Lindsay was it?”

“It is. I was. She was actually apologetic for how things went down. She said she felt really odd coming in, like she was taking my job. I tried to tell her not to feel that way.” Rey shrugged. “I don’t know how much I succeeded. She seems really nice, though.”

“That’s good.” Ben grinned down at her. “Collecting friends left and right, aren’t you? First, Gigi. Then, me. Then, Finn, Tage, and Phasma. Now her.” 

Rey grinned, then wiggled her finger for him to lean close. She murmured, “But you’re a special friend.” 

Very quickly, she brushed her lips against his. There and gone. Feather-light, and yet, it still sent the good kind of chills down his spine, goosebumps popping up along his arms. And damn his traitorous body! One would think he was sixteen not thirty for all the control he seemed to  _ not _ have! 

In Rey’s ear, he uttered the phrase he knew would get his point across quite well. “You’re killing me.”

With a devilish grin, Rey looked up at him and boldly replied, “Get a blanket and I’ll fix that for you.”

Ben’s brain practically short-circuited at the visual of her doing just that, here, with everyone around them. It certainly didn’t help his situation at all. The instant he realized he was actually compiling a list of pros and cons, he slammed the door on those thoughts. 

“Don’t tempt me,” he muttered before shifting in his seat to get comfortable for the duration of the flight.

BR

By the time they deboarded the plane, the sun was dipping low in the sky, sunset not too far away. Not allowing himself to sleep much on the trip, Ben felt beyond exhausted. He didn’t pay too much attention to the city around him as he rode in the car to the hotel. The feel he did get was of an old - ancient, even - city blended with new vibrance. Typical of a desert setting, the cooler evening air allowed one to breathe a little easier, all the while promising of a blistering heat to come with the sun’s rising. These next few scenes were not going to be fun to shoot even with the lower humidity, which wasn’t as low as one would expect from a desert community.

At the hotel, Will had, again, worked his magic in getting Rey’s room right across from his own, Gigi, Julian, Lindsay, and Will, himself, occupying the rest of the floor. Bidding the others good night, Ben entered his room, forced himself to change into sleepwear, then fell onto his bed. Instead of falling instantly asleep as he’d anticipated, he remained wide awake. The mattress was soft without being overly so. The temperature in the room was just as he preferred. So, damn it, why couldn’t he sleep? Rubbing eyes that felt as if all the sand in the country had landed in them, Ben groaned and rolled to his side for the tenth time in as many minutes. Fuck, this was pointless!

Just as he sat up to lean against the headboard, a light knock drew his attention. Padding over, he opened the door to find an adorably weary-looking Rey standing there. He didn’t have to ask why she was at his door, for, seeing her there, he had come to the sudden realization that  _ her absence from his bed  _ was the reason he couldn’t sleep, and she obviously had the same trouble. With a worn-out quirk of his lips, Ben silently let her in. Climbing back into bed, they took their previous sides, wrapped around each other, and promptly slept the entire night.

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. The Guiltless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope all are doing well. No one caught my Knight of Ren reference. Or, if they did, no one said. Kuruk is actually the name of one them. He was supposedly a really good shot. Fitting for a bodyguard. I make some Harrison Ford references in this chapter. Can you spot them? I just couldn't help the Ed Sheeran bit. Love the song and it seemed to fit. Last but not least, many thanks go to Heidi Hastings for making the Ben Solo I used in my mood board.

**_… Guilt has a thousand voices, all of them lies._ **

**_\-- Leonard F. Peltier, Prison Writings_ **

To help the actors and crew adjust to the time change, the following day was to be spent in meetings, discussing how they thought the scenes should play out specifically, discussing lines and whether something should be altered to fit the mood better. Rey decided now would be a good time to explore the city. She dressed in an ankle-length, flowing, aquamarine skirt, and a white, button-up, short-sleeved shirt tied at the waist in the front - but low enough not to show any skin. On her feet, she wore a pair of breathable shoes suitable for walking. Her hair, she’d pulled into a messy bun, allowing a few tendrils to frame her face. Her micro-thin traveler’s bag with her ID, money, and other essentials was slung across her body to rest against one hip. Armed with her camera, she grabbed her sunglasses from Belize and left her room.

Ben stepped out of his at the same moment and froze, his gaze raking over her in a way that heated her skin. “Damn, sweetheart. You look gorgeous. I’m jealous I won’t be seeing much of you in that.” 

He held up a finger for her to wait and disappeared back into his room. A few seconds later, he returned with something in his hand. “I saw this in that jewelry shop and thought it unique. It reminded me of you in that way, so I bought it. It’s made of coffee beans and acai berries. It’s adjustable, so you can wear it as tight or as loose as you like.”

Stunned, Rey reverently took the bracelet he held out to her, running a finger along each “bead”. “Ben,” she barely managed to get out, “it’s beautiful.” The gesture was so sweet, so … Ben … that it brought tears to her eyes. “You didn’t have to … I never expected … ”

“I know. I wanted to. Wear it and think of me when you look at it.”

With a tearful laugh, Rey looked him in the eye. “I’m always thinking of you, Ben. I don’t need a bracelet for that.”

Ben’s lips curved ever so slightly upward. “Then wear it and know that  _ I’m  _ thinking about  _ you _ .”

Sliding it on and adjusting the cord to an acceptable tightness, Rey looked back up, the love she felt for him shining in her eyes. “Thank you. I love it.” Rising onto her toes, she pulled him down enough to kiss his lips. “Just don’t spend all your time thinking about me. You have work to do.”

Pulling her flush against his chest, Ben’s slight smile widened. “Doesn’t seem to matter. You’re  _ always _ on my mind.” He sobered with his next statement. “It’ll be odd not seeing you around today, not having you near. I’ve gotten so used to you being there. I’ll miss you.”

“I don’t have to go.”

“What would you do? Besides be bored? No, you should go enjoy yourself. I’m just being - ”

Rey cut in before he could finish that thought, reminding him of what he’d said to her the night before they left for Belize. “Don’t even say it, Ben. You don’t want to hear it from me, then I don’t want to hear it from you. I know what you mean, though. We’ve been together from the beginning. Being in separate places will be weird. I’ll be around for filming tomorrow, though.”

“I know you will be. I’ll see you later today. Have fun.”

Rey met him halfway for his kiss, the fingers of one hand playing with the hair at his neck. She couldn’t have said how long they stood there enjoying a leisurely goodbye when a pair of voices came from a short distance away.

“GAH! My eyes! Get a room! You have two. Pick one.”

“Oh, hush, Julian. Mom and Dad are saying goodbye. Let them be.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle, burying her face into the side of Ben’s neck. Once the two had passed, Rey met Ben’s gaze, amused to see the color in his cheeks. “Don’t let them get to you. They’re right, though. I should go and so should you. I’d tell you to have fun, but … ”

Ben made a face that plainly said that wasn’t likely. “This is the boring part of my job. It has to be done, of course, but I’d just as soon get out there and do it. Anyway, I’ll see you at dinner.”

Rey pecked him on the lips one final time before heading down the hallway for the elevator that would take her to a different part of the hotel than where Ben needed to go. She refused to look back at him for fear she wouldn’t be able to leave. It wasn’t until the elevator doors closed that she looked up from the floor. She took a huge steadying breath, pushing down that bereft feeling at leaving Ben behind, determined to enjoy herself. It simply seemed too silly to feel that way when she’d be seeing him again later in the day. It wasn’t as if she was leaving him permanently, after all.

The ding of the elevator doors’ imminent opening brought her out of her reverie. Stepping out, she spotted Kuruk instantly. Again, she took a bracing breath. She trusted Phasma, of course, but she didn’t know Kuruk, so trusting  _ him  _ was more difficult. One thing she’d learned, though. Not every man wanted to hurt her, to beat her down to the point she feared him. A gentle smile curved her lips. Ben had helped her to see that, despite his denial. Not just Ben, though. Yes, he started it, but Julian helped, as did Will, Tage, Finn and many of the other men on the set.

Crossing the lobby to Kuruk, Rey smiled. “So, where are we going first?”

“I thought we’d go to Chouara Tannery. Built in the eleventh century, it’s the largest one here. The way they dye the hides is the same method they’ve used for centuries.”

“Sounds intriguing. Lead on, then.”

After hiring a car to take them, Rey climbed out and was instantly hit with a smell so strong she could  _ taste _ it. Covering her nose and mouth, she whirled to face Kuruk. “Why didn’t you warn me about that?”

Kuruk held out something to her. “You haven’t experienced the tannery if you haven’t smelled it. But here, put a little of this under your nose. It’s a eucalyptus balm. It’ll help.”

He was right. It did. A lot. Rey wandered one of the leather shops on the way to the balcony overlooking the actual dyeing area. A pair of black, butter-soft leather gloves caught her attention. Being quite familiar with Ben’s hands, she knew these were large enough to fit his. In her opinion they were perfect. Though she had yet to give him the pair of cufflinks made of black coral rimmed in green turquoise she had purchased in Belize, she decided to get these for him too. Finding a small leather bag for herself, she then headed out to the balcony.

Rey took a load of photos, finding it fascinating to watch a process that had changed very little since they originally began. From there, they went to the outskirts of the city to the Merenid Tombs. Though mostly in ruins, Rey couldn’t deny the panoramic view was amazing! She managed to get some very good shots of the area and some artsy, storytelling style photos of the ruins.

On the way to lunch, Rey finally bolstered the courage to actually talk to her bodyguard. “So, why personal security? What brought you to this point?”

Kuruk shrugged, eyes trained on the streets around them. “I did a stint in the Army. When I got out, I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself. I had trouble acclimating to civilian life, so I went in search of jobs that could use my skills. Came across Phasma’s firm. I guess the rest is history.”

“What about family? I mean, if you’re traipsing around the world or protecting someone 24/7, that doesn’t leave room for family, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about that. I mean, yes, I see and talk to my parents on occasion, but other than that, it’s just me.”

“Oh. Well, maybe one day.”

“Maybe. I’m not exactly looking for that.”

“I wasn’t, either. I’m told that’s when it happens. Just keep your mind open.”

He chuckled, flashing her a grin. “I’ll keep that in mind. Solo is a lucky man.”

Embarrassed, Rey turned her attention out the window, glad for the heat of the day to excuse the color in her cheeks. “I’m the one who’s lucky,” she murmured.

Lunch consisted of a traditional dish made of lamb and mango with a variety of spices. Rey enjoyed it immensely. Truthfully, there wasn’t much food she didn’t like. Growing up hungry would do that to a person. Conversation with Kuruk remained light and sporadic, not because Rey feared him or felt awkward with him, but because he felt he could do his job better if he focused on that. He did joke that getting on Ben Solo’s bad side would be detrimental to his health considering Ben could snap him in half if he failed to do what he’d been hired to do.

The only mosque open to non-Muslims, Madras Bou Inania, was their final destination for the day. Rey marveled at the highly-detailed geometric carvings found on every wall. There didn’t appear to be a blank space anywhere. Even the floors held patterns in many of the various rooms. Little splashes of color could be seen in the occasional stained glass window or in mosaic tiles. She loved the architecture, amazed the place had been founded as early as 1351.

Rey spent as much time studying the place through her lens as she did with her naked eye.

By the time she returned to the hotel, it was late afternoon. Thanking Kuruk for the tour, she returned to her room to put away the things she’d bought. Tired from the heat, Rey decided a nap was in order, but the thought of lying down on her own bed didn’t appeal to her. She wanted to know as soon as Ben finished with his meetings. She’d missed spending time with him. Mentally thanking Will for requesting two keycards for hers and Ben’s rooms, Rey used the one Ben had given her for his. Lying on his bed, she fell asleep quickly.

BR

_ Finally!  _ Ben thought as he left the meeting room. All the scenes they’d be filming had been dissected and planned out, lines finalized. They’d get down to actually  _ doing  _ the scenes the following day. As he stopped in front of his door, he glanced across the hall, wondering if Rey had returned yet, and feeling an irrational stab of jealousy that another man was with her, despite having insisted on her being accompanied by a bodyguard in the first place. Stepping across the hall, he tapped on her door. No answer. Tempted as he was to use the keycard to enter her room, he decided not to. She could be in the bathroom. She could be napping.  _ If  _ she was even back. He could certainly wait a little longer to see her, even if he felt like he’d fall into a pit of despair if he didn’t see her soon.

Rolling his eyes at his melodramatic thoughts, Ben returned to his door, used his keycard and stepped inside his room. His world instantly brightened at the sight of Rey sound asleep on his bed. The knot in his chest that had developed as the day had worn on suddenly loosened. She’d chosen to come to  _ his  _ room! She could have stayed in her own but she hadn’t! Grinning like an awkward adolescent who’d been told the girl he liked actually liked him back, Ben quietly walked over to his bed, knelt on the floor and simply took her in for a few moments. This was something he could do for the rest of his life; he loved watching her sleep. Reaching out, he gently brushed a lock of her hair back behind her ear, inadvertently waking her.

“Hey,” she said with a sleepy smile.

Ben continued to brush his fingers through her hair. Another thing he loved to do. “Hey, yourself. Have a good time?”

She reached out a hand to settle against his jaw, her thumb skimming along his cheekbone and down his cheek. “It was fun, yes, but it would have been better if you’d been there. I missed you.”

Ben responded by doing what he’d wanted to do all day; he captured her lips. While he’d intended it to be a soft, tender kiss, the longing he’d battled all day took him over. Not that it mattered since Rey grabbed his shirt front and pulled him onto the bed with her. Rolling onto his side, he gathered her as close to him as he possibly could, which still didn’t seem close enough. Just like he could never get enough of her taste, the feel of her tongue dancing against his, or the little sounds of enjoyment that escaped from her lips. He could come from those sounds alone!

Lifting onto an elbow, Ben trailed kisses along Rey’s jaw to that sensitive spot behind her ear, the moan it elicited so erotic he had to pause to gain control of himself, his free hand fisting in her shirt to keep it from wandering where it shouldn’t go. Rey, on the other hand, had no such qualms. Once she’d pulled his shirttail free of his waistband, her palm slid under it, her fingertips tracing over the rise and fall of his stomach muscles. All the air in his lungs  _ whooshed  _ right out at the light contact. Her fingers didn’t stop there; they continued their trek up to the expanse of his chest, following every contour, exploring every bit of skin they found.

Moaning deeply and with liquid fire in his veins, Ben feasted on the smooth column of Rey’s neck to the vee of her shirt, nosing aside the edges to reach her collarbones. Without conscious thought, he slipped the top button free, exposing more of her delicious skin for his tasting. Rey arched under him, another sexy moan falling from her parted lips. 

“Ben, touch me. I want to feel your hand on me.” 

Rey’s hand disappeared from his chest, loosened his grip on her shirt and pushed his hand under it and up to the hook of her bra. With her help, Ben made quick work of it. He needed no other prompting. Wrapping his hand around the mound of flesh, he massaged it as his thumb circled and rubbed over her nipple, feeling it harden.

“Oh, God, Ben! That feels good!”

That was for damn sure! Touching Rey like this did some pretty amazing things to his own body, things Ben could easily become addicted to. Scratch that. Already  _ had  _ become addicted, and what invariably happened with addicts? They craved more. Such as it was for Ben. He wanted to  _ see  _ how taut her nipple was under his thumb, wanted to  _ see  _ her flesh in his hand. More than that, he wanted to  _ taste  _ her, wanted to use his tongue to tease her nipple, to see if she tasted just as sweet here as she did elsewhere.

He hadn’t realized he’d spoken his desire aloud until Rey gasped, “Please! Yes! I want that, too!”

Ben froze, lifting his head to study her face. They’d already gone farther than they have before. What he wanted, what she just agreed to, was another huge step. He didn’t want the decision to be made in the heat of the moment, one she could possibly regret later, so he searched her expression for some sign that she knew exactly what it was she was agreeing to, doing his best to momentarily ignore the fact he still held her breast in his hand.

“Rey?” Licking his lips, he swallowed. “If you’re only agreeing to that because it’s something I would like or because you’ve gotten carried away, then it can wait. Really, it  _ should  _ wait. I mean, I have no right to push for more than what you’ve already - ”

“Ben, shut up and take my shirt off. I couldn’t be more sure than I am right now. I’m not going to regret it later. You’re definitely  _ not  _ forcing me to do it. Now, come here.” 

A little pressure exerted at the back of his neck brought his lips to hers again, where she kissed him fervently, her tongue seeking his. Giving in to her, he allowed her entrance. With a trembling hand, his fingers slid the buttons from their holes and loosened the knot made of her shirttail. Gently pushing Rey to her back and opening her shirt - grateful the bra she wore had a front clasp so it could be brushed aside - his breath caught in his throat. Fuck, she was so beautiful! Her dusky pink nipples standing erect and begging for his attention in perfect contrast to her creamy flesh. 

Barely able to breathe, Ben shifted his weight to both of his forearms as he hovered over her. “You’re more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, sweetheart.”

Leaning in, he gently kissed her lips before slowly trailing his lips down her neck to her chest, taking a few extra moments to place light kisses along each of her collarbones. He kissed over her racing heart and down between her breasts. Bracing himself on his right forearm and left knee - conveniently placed between her own - freed his left hand so he could hold her breast as he lavished it with attention, starting with the underside and making his way to its dusky tip, enjoying the little moans and whimpers he drew from Rey as he did so.

Wanting to watch her expressive face, Ben tilted his head just enough so he could look up at her as he tantalizingly slowly drew his tongue over her nipple and was rewarded as her lips parted on a gasping moan, her eyes tightly shut in an expression of sublime pleasure. Repeating the gesture brought her hands into his hair to press him closer, her back arching against his mouth, her hips grinding against his thigh.

“Oh, my God, Ben! That feels amazing! Don’t stop!”

Oh, he had no intention of stopping. Not yet. Wrapping his lips around the beaded tip, he sucked, taking great pleasure in her wild, uninhibited reaction. Her hands tightened to fists in his hair, her hips again pressing against his thigh. He wondered if he could actually get her off just from this. She seemed fairly close already. With a smug grin he couldn’t suppress, Ben turned his attention to her other side, still taking his sweet time. Reaching her nipple, he hesitated for a brief moment before running his tongue over it. This time when her hips rocked forward, he pressed his thigh into her, receiving a desperate whimper for his trouble, her free leg thrown over his hip and holding on as best she could.

Ben continued to rub his thigh against her in time to his tongue on her breast. Fuck, she was so wet and hot! That was it’s own kind of torture for him, but he didn’t quit. He’d given himself another goal and he  _ would  _ achieve it. Switching back to her other side, he felt Rey begin to tremble, her breaths shortening to pants. It definitely wouldn’t be much longer now. Ben stepped up his ministrations a notch, swirling his tongue around her nipple a little faster, sucking it a little harder.

“Ben! Oh, God! I think I could come just from … ” Rey cried out as he scraped his teeth over her, instantly soothing any hurt with his tongue. Her hips rolled and pressed harder against him. “Oh! Oh, God, I  _ am  _ going to! I’m almost there! Just don’t stop!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” Ben panted. “Come for me, Rey.”

Two seconds later, she did exactly that, his name flying from her lips as her orgasm took control. Ben stayed with her through it, not relenting with his tongue or his thigh until he felt her go lax underneath him. Rolling onto his side, he gathered Rey into his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He worked very hard to drag himself back from the edge he’d been skirting the entire time. Not so easy to do when he could still feel her damp heat against his thigh.

“I had no idea it could feel like that.”

“Glad I could be the one to enlighten you.”

Rey pulled away just enough so she could look him in the eye. “You’re a little overdressed, don’t you think? I hadn’t intended that to be one-sided. I meant for you to take off your shirt, too.” Her cheeks turned rosy. “I just got a little side-tracked.”

Ben forced his lips to curl into a smile, even if it was a bit pained. That precipice was slowly receding, but he wasn’t far enough away from it yet. One little touch from her would send him careening straight for it and probably over it.

“It’s okay, Rey. I enjoyed myself.” 

Ben inhaled sharply as the leg caught between his twitched against him. Rey smiled up at him. “Not according to  _ this _ .”

And so much for coming down off the edge. God, how he fucking  _ ached _ right now.  _ Breathe _ , he instructed himself.  _ Inhale. Exhale. _

“Ben, why are you denying yourself like this?”

“Because I wanted that to be about you, not me.” Ben mumbled under his breath, “There’s already been a time when it was just me.”

Rey stared up at him, looking utterly baffled. “What? What does that mean? When we’re together like this, I prefer  _ both  _ of us to be satisfied.”

Ben cleared his throat, feeling prickly heat climbing into his cheeks. “Uh, well, the night we were leaving Belize … I never said anything because you were asleep at the time, so you had no clue what you were doing and … You kind of … and I may have … But only because I was asleep, too, and didn’t realize it. By the time I did wake up, it was too late.”

Several moments later, Rey’s confusion cleared, leaving behind embarrassment tinged with amusement. “Oh, my God, did I really? And you …?  _ That’s  _ why your heart was racing and everything! I remember thinking you had a nightmare or something.” She giggled. “Well, at least you enjoyed it.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be?”

Ben let out a slightly derisive laugh. “I don’t know. My utter lack of self-control, maybe? Would you feel the same way if I told you what came before that? I woke up earlier that night and discovered my hand cupping you through your … my … shirt. What’s worse, I didn’t move it away immediately. I actually, uh, touched you more. Only for a moment, though, I swear.”

Rey gasped, grinning. “I thought that was a very pleasant dream!” Her grin melted away the longer she studied him. “Wait. You’re serious. You’re really bothered by it, aren’t you? That’s what’s underlying all of this. You feel guilty for something you had no control over. Ben, there’s no need for that. We’d both been asleep at the time. Hands wandered. So what?”

A knocking at the door drew their attention. Julian’s voice came through. “Hey, Ben, you in there? Just reminding you that we have that tour of the city that Karim wanted to take us all on. Wouldn’t do to keep the guy waiting, you know? We leave in ten minutes.”

Ben put some distance between himself and Rey. “Thanks, Julian. I’ll be down shortly.” 

Not meeting Rey’s eyes, Ben disappeared into the bathroom. Splashing water onto his face, he leaned on the sink, head dangling. He  _ had  _ to regain control of himself before going anywhere. Physically and mentally. He splashed more water onto his face, allowing the droplets to run down his neck and under his shirt. While it hadn’t bothered him so much right after that night, the more he’d thought about it, the guiltier he’d felt. The last thing Rey needed was someone who seriously lacked any self-control. She’d been there, done that, and didn’t deserve to have to deal with it again. He’d demonstrated his shameful lack of restraint. Now, he just needed to show her he  _ could  _ control himself. Then, maybe, he wouldn’t remind her of the asshole she’d tried to leave behind.

A couple of light taps sounded at the door. “Ben? I think we need to talk.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Ben clamped onto the sink edges, and swallowed past the lump in his throat. Well, it sounded as if he’d finally done it. He’d finally fucked things up with them. He’d known it would happen sooner or later. It seemed to be what he always did. Grabbing a towel, Ben dried his face and glanced at his watch. Time to go. Opening the door, he came face to face with a completely-dressed Rey and hadn’t expected to. He couldn’t meet her gaze so he addressed his question to her stomach.

“Are you coming with us? I mean, I know you’ve already seen the city, so I’d understand if you didn’t want to, but I have to go. It’s part of my obligations, and I - ” 

A simple fingertip over his lips stopped his rambling. Without lifting his head, he looked up at her, unaware his eyes were giving away how vulnerable he felt inside.

“Of course, I’m going. I’ve barely seen you today. I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

Offering her a hint of a smile, Ben took her hand in his and led her from his room, knowing full well that she’d been about to give him a kiss. He hated seeing the confusion, the near rejection, in her eyes, but her kiss would have been a distraction he couldn’t afford. He had to prove he was worthy of her, he knew that now, and would start that very night.

BR

After touring the city for three hours, he, Rey, Julian, Gigi, Will, and Peter Soules finally returned to the hotel. The entire time, Ben held Rey’s hand, but they didn’t talk much, and he could tell by the looks from Gigi and Julian that the two had noticed. Oh, well. He had something to prove and he was going to succeed. He knew Rey wanted to discuss their earlier conversation, but Ben didn’t see a need. Not only that, it was late, and he had a very early morning, so nothing more was spoken. Rey eventually fell asleep. Ben, fearing he’d end up taking some other liberties while asleep, forced himself to remain awake, his subconscious jolting him back to wakefulness if he did happen to fall asleep.

He left the room the next morning long before Rey awakened, leaving her a note to have fun with whatever Kuruk had planned for her that day. Grabbing breakfast, he sat by himself, but didn’t really touch much of the food.

“Alright, spill.”

Ben looked up from his plate as Gigi joined him at the table. “Spill what?”

Gigi shot him a look that said he was being dense. “You know what. Why are you acting so … aloof … with Rey? Did you two have a fight or something?”

Ben scowled at his co-star. “I’m not.” He speared a bite on the end of his fork and forced himself to eat it, even though just the idea of putting anything into his stomach made him queasy.

Gigi snorted derisively. “Don’t give me that. You are. The two of you barely spoke to each other last night. Hell, you barely even looked at her! Whatever it is, you’ve managed to hurt and confuse that poor girl.”

Ben angrily dropped his fork onto his plate, shoving it away. He kept his voice low but his temper came through loud and clear. “And why the fuck do you think  _ I’m  _ the one at fault?”

Rather than taking offense at his choice of verbiage, Gigi laughed. “Because I know you. You haven’t slept, which means something is eating at you, hence why you’re taking it out on me.”

Ben heaved a huge sigh, propping his elbow on the table and rubbing at his tired eyes. “Look, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to speak to you that way. It’s just … I’ve made some mistakes that I have to make up for. I have to prove to her that I’m not like him, that I would never … I have to prove my worth. I have to  _ earn  _ what I’ve been given. Now, if you’ll excuse me, we’ll be leaving soon.”

By the time they’d reached the filming site, the sun was fully up, the temperature steadily climbing into unbearable territory. In the changing tent, Ben stared at the clothes he’d been given. 

“Whose fucking brilliant idea was it to have me wear all black in a hot as Hell setting?”

Sighing, Ben donned the black pants, button-down shirt, jacket, belt and knee-high boots. By the time he’d finished adding the futuristic gunslinger-style belt and pistol his character preferred, he’d wiped the sweat from his brow  _ twice _ . The instant he exited the tent, an assistant accosted him with some foul-smelling drink.

“It’s to keep you from getting dehydrated since you, especially, will be exerting yourself a lot in this heat.”

Ben took two swallows and gave it back. It was all he could stomach. “I’m good. Thanks.”

The scenes with Gigi were easy, though he wasn’t too comfortable with the way she kept looking at him between takes, as if he might fall over at any time. Nevermind the fact that, yes, he did feel exactly like that right at that moment. His head had begun to ache, too. Maybe he should have had more of that disgusting drink earlier. His stomach rolled at the thought. To combat the heat, Will insisted on several breaks to get into some shade and drink some fluids. Ben stood in the shade, but only pretended to drink anything, his stomach too uncertain to risk putting anything in it.

As he stood in the sun waiting for his cue to start chasing and yelling at the guys in front of him, Ben wiped at his brow again, then at the bead of sweat running down his face, feeling worse by the second. Finally, it was time to begin. Drawing his ‘pistol’, Ben took as deep a breath as he could. At the signal, he ran after the other actors, delivering his lines, pretending to fire at them, and dodging carefully placed charges that threw up bits of baked earth as if hit by laser bolts.

Four attempts and they still weren’t done. Someone would flub a line or stumble and actually fall. Ben, though, was. Utterly finished. He had nothing left. He was so dizzy he could barely stand upright. His muscles cramped something fierce. Oddly enough, he was starting to shiver. He tried to run through the scene again, but at the first dodge, he stumbled to his knees and just couldn’t get back up. Hanging his head at his weakness, he labored to get breath into his lungs. The next thing he knew, people crowded around him.

“Ben? Can you hear me? How do you feel?”

_ Uh oh. Will. I need to get up. The shoot. _ Ben struggled to get to his feet, but a hand restrained him.

The anxious voice softened, soothed. “Don’t move, Ben. Let them take a look at you.”

A clinical voice came next. “His pulse is rapid and weak. Sweating profusely. He’s shivering. Ben, do you feel nauseated? Dizzy? Any cramps?”

Ben struggled to swallow. Not an easy thing to do when your mouth and throat felt dry as a bone. “Yes. I feel terrible.”

“Just as I thought. Heat exhaustion with dehydration. We need to cool him down. Fast. Let’s take him to our tent. We’ll set up several of the fans in there. We’ll need to strip him down. Whose brilliant idea was it to make him wear black? Out here? Nevermind that now. You take that arm, I’ll take this one.”

Feeling himself being lifted, Ben tried to get his feet underneath him but his legs simply wouldn’t hold him. He couldn’t have said how long he was moved, but suddenly the bright sun disappeared and he was laid on a bed. A roar sounded from above and to the side of him, blowing hot air directly onto him. As his boots were being removed, so was his shirt. He didn’t even feel the prick of a needle entering a vein on the top of his hand and being taped into place.The prop belt disappeared without any real protest, but the moment he realized they intended to remove his pants, he balked.

“Ben, we have to get them off so you can cool down. Your modesty will be preserved, I promise.”

Ben felt something lightweight get draped over his lap once the pants were gone. God, he wished the world would stop spinning! Just for a little while!

“Should I suspend shooting?”

“He  _ should  _ be okay in a couple of hours. We’re giving him saline solution through the IV. It’s the quickest way to get him hydrated again.”

Ben zoned out on any further conversation, sheer exhaustion pulling him into slumber.

BR

Rey felt so confused and more than a little hurt. What the hell happened? One moment all was going great and the next, Ben one-eighty’d and all because of something that he couldn’t control? It made no sense! Why did something so … normal … cause such a drastic response? She’d wanted to talk about it last night, but he’d clammed up. It had been late when they’d returned and she’d known he’d had to get up early, so she’d let it go. He’d probably be too tired to talk about it later, too, after having spent the majority of the day filming in the heat. She was fairly certain he didn’t sleep last night, or barely did. She’d felt the bed jerk every time he’d jolted awake.

Glancing at the clock, Rey sighed. She wouldn’t be solving the mystery of one Ben Solo anytime soon and she had a guide/bodyguard to meet. After showering and calling for breakfast, she donned a light khaki, loose-fitting jumpsuit. She liked the high front and back, halter-style bodice, elastic waist and wide pant legs. Casual, yet dressy enough if need be. To cover her shoulders, she added a knee-length, white, short-sleeved, linen cloak. The shoes she wore the day before completed the outfit. She ate when her breakfast arrived, then headed downstairs with the same thin essential bag worn across her body, her camera, and sunglasses.

Rey hoped and prayed that a solution would come to her if she put it out of her mind for a time. Adam Kuruk took her to a large outdoor marketplace. True to his word, he kept far enough away that she didn’t feel as if he was looking over her shoulder but close enough he could reach her if she needed him. Many things she thought were pretty and would have liked to have purchased but refrained, knowing she had to travel light. She did purchase a few head scarves in a variety of light colors and prints. 

Some jewelry pieces also caught her eye, one being a necklace with a large, tear-drop silver pendant. Up each side of the strand were three marble-sized, round, polished red stones - red jasper or carnelian perhaps - each separated by small silver beads. Tiny chips of a dark-colored, polished stone covered the remainder of the strand. It had obviously been hand-crafted and the skill necessary to do so awed her, so she bought it, too.

Late morning, Rey began to feel uneasy. She tried to ignore it, but it only grew more intense until she was absolutely certain something was wrong. Spinning around, she found Adam ten paces behind her, seemingly intent on studying the wares being offered in front of him. She rushed to his side.

“We need to go. Now. Something’s wrong. Something’s happened. I need to get back. I know it sounds crazy, but - ”

Kuruk took her by the shoulders. “Hey. I learned to trust a woman’s intuition a long time ago. If you feel something’s wrong and need to go, we’ll go. I’ll take you straight out to where they’re filming. Come on.”

The drive out to the flat desert scrubland seemed to take forever, that feeling in Rey’s gut that something was horribly wrong demanding they hurry. She just knew it had something to do with Ben. She couldn’t say how she knew; she just did. After about an hour’s drive, the car halted near a sea of tents. Rey jumped out and ran, her fears worsening as she didn’t see Ben at all. She did see another familiar face, however.

“Gigi! Where is he? Where’s Ben? What’s happened?”

The woman looked momentarily surprised to see her there, but then, her expression sobered. Taking Rey by the shoulders, she said, “First of all, he’ll be okay, no matter how he looks at the moment.”

Okay, that didn’t make Rey feel any better whatsoever. “Take me to him.”

“Come with me.” As they walked toward one of the tents, Gigi asked, “How did you know something had happened?”

Rey shrugged, more interested in getting to Ben than in conversation. “I just did. I just had this feeling that screamed something wasn’t right, that something was wrong with Ben.”

Stepping inside, Rey noticed the fans first. Hard not to with the roars they made as the hot air circulated around. Then, she saw him. Laid out on the bed below the fans, stripped of any visible clothing and … an IV! With fingers of one hand folded over her lips, she slowly approached. Ben soundly slept, a clear, half-full bag dripping a liquid directly into him through his hand. She looked back at Gigi.

“What happened?”

One of the medical staff came over, someone Rey recognized from the studio, pressed two fingers to the inside of Ben’s wrist and seemed to count for several seconds. Then, he placed the inside of his wrist against Ben’s forehead and cheek. 

“Don’t worry, Rey,” the man assured her, “Ben will be fine. His pulse is already much better, as is his temperature. Another hour or so and he’ll probably be awake and begging to get back to work.” Seeing she was still confused and scared, he continued. “Ben was pretty dehydrated. That, coupled with his black clothing and the active scenes he had to film, he developed a case of heat exhaustion. As I said, he’s doing much better now and will be just fine.”

“Dehydrated? Heat exhaustion?” Rey’s eyes grew round as her heart began pounding in her chest. “Oh, no. The last day we were in Belize. We spent a part of the afternoon outside in the heat, just so I could get some stupid pictures.” Her vision swam as she stared down at Ben, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I caused this, didn’t I?” Tendrils of anxiety seized her chest like a vise.

A pair of hands landed on her shoulders, pushing her into a chair. “Breathe, Rey. Come on. Inhale. Exhale.” When that didn’t seem to work, her hand was placed on Ben’s stomach. “Breathe with Ben. Slow inhale. Slow exhale. Focus only on that.”

It took several seconds, but Rey’s breathing came easier. The man nodded in satisfaction. “Now, let me set something straight.  _ You  _ are not the cause of this.  _ Ben  _ is partially to blame for his own condition. He chose not to drink enough fluids. If he hadn’t been dressed entirely in black, with a jacket, no less, it may not have been this bad.”

“What?!” Gigi, whom Rey had sort of forgotten was there, pointed to a set of clothes sitting on a chair. Sure enough, black pants, shirt, jacket, and boots. “Well, whose stupid idea was that?!”

“Believe me, as someone who takes the health of my people to nearly obsessive levels, I will be finding out and that person will be getting an earful.”

“Good. Give whoever it is a double dose from me.”

“I’ll do that. You can stay as long as you like.” Then, he walked off to leave her and Gigi alone.

“I knew something was wrong this morning at breakfast. He didn’t look well. He even snapped at me.”

Rey turned her full attention to Gigi, brow furrowed. “What? What do you mean, he didn’t look well?”

“He looked really tired, like he hadn’t slept at all last night. He barely touched his food. I asked him,” Gigi glanced up at Rey, licking her lips, then looked away, “why he was being so awful to you. The way he practically ignored you last night. That’s when he snapped at me. He said something about making up for mistakes, that he had to prove to you he wasn’t someone else, that he had to earn what he’d been given.”

Rey let out a groan, dropping her elbows to her knees and her head into his hands. Apparently, Ben’s anxieties and guilt were ruling his thinking. But why? He had  _ nothing  _ to prove to her!

“You know what he was talking about, don’t you?”

Rey wasn’t sure she should discuss hers and Ben’s private life like this, but she really needed to talk. Rose was just too far away right now. She met the other woman’s gaze steadily. “I do. Can we talk? About something rather sensitive and private? I realize it'll be awkward because you work with Ben - and he’d probably hate that I’ve talked to you - but I don’t have anyone else.”

“Of course, you can, honey. Anything. What’s going on?”

“First, to help you understand things, you should know that Ben and I … well, we haven’t … ”

Gigi’s eyes widened almost comically. “You  _ haven’t _ ? Damn! I’d have thought for certain that you have by now. He certainly doesn’t come across as a frustrated man.”

Rey blushed spectacularly. “I said we haven’t done  _ that,  _ not that we haven’t, uh … ”

“Ah. Same result, other methods. That explains it. Okay. Continue.”

So, Rey did, in as little detail as she could get away with and still be properly understood. Gigi listened without much comment and without giving Rey the feeling of being judged one way or another. It felt so freeing!

“So now, here we are, and I have no idea what happened to trigger this response or what to do about it. As you said, he’s barely looked at me. We haven’t spoken much. He hasn’t even really kissed me!”

“Hmmm. Well, I’m no expert, of course, and keep in mind this is just my opinion,  _ but  _ maybe being together fully would take care of the perceived problem. It seems to me like you’ve been taking things in steps, and I won’t say whether that’s right or wrong. If you took that final one, though, maybe he would have no reason to feel the way he does.” 

Rey wasn’t entirely convinced. “I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to. It just seems like there’s more to it. I mean, you said it yourself. His own words were that he felt he had to prove to me that he wasn’t like someone else.” Rey gasped as a thought struck her. “You don’t think … Surely, not. You don’t think he’s comparing himself to Wren, do you?”

Gigi sighed. “I hate to say it, but that’s a distinct possibility. Wren took advantage of you, and obviously had little self-control. It’s possible Ben feels he’s done the same.”

“But  _ why _ ? They were purely natural reactions! Besides, it’s not as if he hasn’t touched me there before anyway. It was just through my shirt, then, too.”

“But you were awake then, too, right? He had your permission?”

“Well, yes, but … I guess I can see your point.”

“Here’s what else I think. Ben loves you, Rey. He probably fears losing you. It’s his anxiety and insecurities talking, most likely.”

“So, how do I get him to see differently? I mean, Ben is the absolute polar opposite of Wren. One couldn’t  _ be _ more opposite from Wren and still be a human.”

Gigi shrugged helplessly. “That, I don’t know. I do know one thing, though. I know you’ll find a way because I know just how much you love him. Love will  _ always  _ find a way. It may not be a smooth one, but it’ll be a way.”

Rey half-heartedly chuckled. “Thanks for listening at least.”

Gigi wrapped an arm around Rey’s shoulders. “It’s what I’m here for.”

Soon after, Gigi left Rey to sit vigil at Ben’s side. Leaning forward, she brushed her hand through his hair, caressed his cheek with the backs of her fingers. Bending next to his ear, she whispered, “I love you. You’re  _ not  _ him and never will be. You have absolutely  _ nothing  _ to prove to me, nor do you have to  _ earn  _ anything from me. I wish I knew how to get you to understand that. I do know this, though. One day soon, you and I are taking that last step. I want to make love with you, have wanted to for a while.” She placed a gentle kiss against his cheek before returning to her chair.

BR

The hand without the IV taped to it twitched, then slowly opened and closed. It was the first indication Rey had seen that Ben was finally waking up. She eagerly leaned forward and waited for his eyes to open, so relieved when they did that she nearly cried. He blinked a few times and turned his head. His smile was the second most beautiful sight to Rey at that moment.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice a bit scratchy.

“Needed to see you.”  _ Any moment now he’s going to realize just how undressed he is. Wonder how hard he’ll blush? _

“Oh.” 

He lifted both hands to his face, as if to rub his eyes, and froze. His left one he pulled back to stare at the IV. His eyes followed the tube up to the hanging bag and back down again. Then, they focused on his bare arms. His hands slid over his chest, obviously searching for a non-existent shirt. He lifted up just enough to catch sight of his legs. Rey thought it nearly comical to watch the dawning horror and embarrassment. His blush colored the tips of his ears, his entire face, down his neck and to his chest.

_ Well, that answered that question.  _ She watched as his hand slid under the sheet over his lap almost fearfully. Rey couldn’t hold back the giggle at his muttered statement about at least being left with those on. She nearly commented about not peeking but held her tongue. She certainly didn’t want to exacerbate the other feelings he’d been battling.

The medic, having realized Ben had awakened, came over to check his pulse, nodding in seeming satisfaction. Carefully, the tape over the IV needle was removed. A cotton ball replaced the tape, and with one smooth gesture, pulled the needle from Ben’s hand.

“How do you feel now, Ben?”

“Much better than I did. When can I get back out there?”

Rey snickered at that. Catching Ben’s quizzical eye, she explained, “He said that would be one of the first things you asked.”

“As much as I’d like to dismiss you, I can’t just yet. All that water we just placed into your system will be working its way back out sooner rather than later.”

Rey had to bite her lip to keep from giggling as Ben’s face reddened further, his hands lifting to rub at his forehead as he groaned, “Just kill me now. Put me out of my misery.” Louder, he asked, “Can I at least get dressed?”

His voice laced with amusement, the medic replied, “I think that can be arranged. Your regular clothes, though. Those,” he pointed to his black clothing, “will have to wait until I’m certain you can withstand the heat and exertion.”

Rey suddenly found herself blushing as she realized Ben would need to move the sheet in order to dress. “I’ll just, uh, step over there and turn my back.” 

She blushed even harder at the rustling sound of fabric behind her. Her mind decided to torture her with the sight of his bare, muscular chest, well-defined abs, and rock-hard thighs, one of which had been used just last night to help her achieve orgasm. Rey closed her eyes and sighed.  _ Good God, what a glorious specimen of a man! All planes and angles. Not an ounce of fat anywhere! Ed Sheeran, now I understand. Grab my waist and put that body on me. I’m definitely in love with the shape of you, Ben. Did it just get hotter out here? _

“You can turn around now.”

Rey turned around and took a moment to mourn the loss of that magnificent body somehow hidden underneath a plain t-shirt and a pair of slacks.  _ What a loss! _ _ Okay, no more thinking like that. Not the right time for it. _

Just as she returned to her chair, Ben asked, “So, what did you do today?” No sooner had he asked the question than a desperate look came onto his face, and he held up a finger. “Hold that thought.” 

Before she could even respond, he had dashed away. Once she knew he was completely gone, Rey giggled. The medic  _ had  _ said sooner rather than later.

BR

An hour later, Will determined the light would still work for what they wanted to film, so Ben was finally released on strict orders to get out of the sun in between takes and  _ drink some water _ . There was also a  _ For the love of God, if you feel ill, speak up!  _ Rey continually had to hide her grin or laughter behind her hand as he constantly grumbled about the lecturing. Ben, of course, caught her.

“Think it’s funny, do you?”

“What you went through? No. I do find it cute and kind of amusing that you’re now complaining about everything like a little kid. Especially since you never complain.” Rey shrugged. “What can I say? It’s cute.”

“Well, I’m so glad I can amuse you.” Though his words sounded snide, the twitch of Ben’s lips proved he didn’t mean it.

Stepping into him, Rey whispered in his ear, “I’ll be  _ your  _ amusement later if you want.” 

She backed away before he could say anything. Judging by his glazed eyes and slack jaw, she wasn’t so certain he would have had a thing to say anyway. 

“Did you have to break him  _ before  _ we started shooting again?” Will asked teasingly.

Ben appeared to shake off his daze and gave Rey a look that promised retribution. She couldn't wait. She was certainly going to do everything possible to make sure he joined her this time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Harrison Ford references: Ford actually became ill while filming Raiders of the Lost Ark. During a scene where he was to be fighting a swordsman in a desert town, Indy simply shoots him. It's a loose reference, but there, all the same. More a parallel, I suppose. The other is a Han reference. After being tortured at Bespin in Empire Strikes Back, Han's first line to Leia (I think) is: I feel terrible.


	9. Recharge with Nature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. Been working on another story, so I thought you all deserved an update to this one.

**_The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go … somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature, and God._ **

**_\-- Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl_ **

Filming in the desert wrapped up after a few days. Because the mountains were experiencing warmer temperatures than what the script and scenes called for, and would be for the foreseeable future, Will made the decision to return home until another location could be scouted. Making it back stateside, Ben drove Rey back to her apartment, stealing glances her way on occasion. While they had managed to sneak back into the country undetected, he knew that wouldn’t be possible at Rey’s apartment building, many paparazzi still hanging around to catch a glimpse of her. She seemed quiet and he couldn’t be certain it was because she was tired or simply nervous. Of course, there was the very real possibility it had to with the fact that things were still not … settled … between them. Ben still felt the need to prove he could control himself and had refused to do more than lightly kiss her lips or hold her hand. He couldn’t understand why Rey had such a hard time accepting that.

“Are you okay, Rey?”

Rey flashed him a quick smile that didn’t reach her eyes before turning back to look out her window. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m home again, where my sanctuary has been invaded by my bastard of an ex, where photographers are hanging out at the front door of my building waiting to accost me the second I show my face, and, now, it seems the man I’m in love with is pulling away from me. Why shouldn’t I be okay?”

_ Well, fuck! _ Ben turned into the first parking lot he came across, one belonging to a strip mall and a few fast food places, found a spot away from the other cars and parked. Without saying a word, he climbed out, circled the car to her door and pulled her out so he could gently cup her face and look her in the eye.

“I’m not pulling away from you, Rey. I swear to you, I’m not. I love you, sweetheart.” Ben swallowed even as his throat attempted to close up. “I guess I haven’t said that often enough. It’s not as easy for me to say it, but you certainly deserve to hear it.” 

Ben dropped his hands, stuffing them into his pockets and taking a step back, lowering his gaze to the ground. “In my experience, when things are going right, that’s when it all goes to hell. Ever since I met you, things have been the rightest they’ve ever been, especially after discovering you felt as I did. I don’t want to give you reason to rethink everything, to decide you’ve had enough.” To his horror, his vision swam as tears suddenly filled his eyes. He fought them, but they were present in his voice. “I fear that so much, Rey. I fear someone out there is going to cross a line with you and you’ll decide it’s just not worth it. I’m terrified  _ I’m  _ going to cross a line with you, causing the most perfect thing I could have ever hoped to have to wither and die, that I’m going to do something to fuck this up because I - ”

Without any sort of warning, Rey’s arms latched themselves around his waist and her lips pressed against his with as much emotion as one could convey in a simple meeting of lips. For several long moments, neither of them moved, both enjoying the promise of more heat than Belize and Morocco had combined simmering just below the surface of what appeared to be a chaste kiss. When Rey finally pulled back, Ben made to follow, not ready for the kiss to end, but gathered his wits about him and straightened.

This time, Rey cradled  _ his  _ face in her hands. “I’m not going anywhere, Ben.  _ No one  _ is going to chase me away from the best thing that’s ever come my way. That ‘no one’ includes you. You don’t have a thing to prove to me, Ben. I  _ know  _ you can restrain yourself. You’ve already proven that. The thing is, that’s exactly what I  _ don’t  _ want right now. I want our passionate moments back.” She rose onto her tiptoes again, her hands sliding to the back of his neck, and whispered against his lips, “I want to make love to you.”

Ben’s eyes drifted shut, swallowing with even more difficulty. If only he could make himself believe her, that she wouldn’t be chased away, but experience was a cruel teacher. He did miss kissing her the way he used to, missed showing her just how much he wanted her. And yes, he did very much want to make love to her.

The words spilled out before he could think twice. “Let’s go up to my parents’ house at Lake Tahoe. The crew is going to try to replicate some of the mountains for the scenes in case we can’t find another location, but that’s going to take a little time. That means we, at least, have the weekend. We could be there in six and a half hours.”

Silence. Ben opened his eyes to find Rey staring up at him with wide eyes. He’d actually been excited at the thought but it faded at her silence. “Un-Unless you’d rather spend some time at home. I’d certainly understand. We did just get off the plane after a very long flight. Just, uh, forget I said anything.”

“How should I pack?”

Did he hear that right? Ben let out an incredulous sound, a smile toying with his lips. “What?”

“Will it be hot? Cold? Both? What do I need to pack?”

He still couldn’t believe he’d heard her correctly. “Seriously? You want to go?”

Rey’s fingers toyed with the hair at his neck as she grinned up at him. “Any time we get to be together without the quote unquote real world intruding, I’m all for it, even though the thought of meeting your parents terrifies me completely.”

“Why? I told you. My mother already likes you. My dad is more laid back than she is. I have to warn you, though. My mother will probably get everyone together for tonight. By everyone, I mean Uncle Luke and my dad’s best friends Chuy and Lando. Dad and Chuy kind of work together. Chuy has his own shop, but when Dad needs parts for a build, he goes to Chuy. Lando is a professional poker player. Has won quite a few big pots, too. He and Dad played together until Dad had enough money to start his business.”

“So, in other words, don’t get suckered into playing Poker with either of them.”

“Right.” Ben could barely contain the relief and joy threatening to burst out of him. Rey really did want to go! Leaning down, he kissed her briefly before jumping into the car for his phone and dialing. “Oh. Hi, Dad.”

“Ben? Are you back already? I didn’t think you were due back so soon.”

“Weather issues. Listen, Dad, tell Mom to get the ranch house ready. She’ll understand.”

“You’re finally bringing her to meet us, aren’t you? Is she there with you? If so, put me on speaker.”

Ben sighed but did as his father asked with a roll of his eyes. “Okay, you’re on speaker.”

“Hey, kid. I just wanted to say I look forward to finally meeting the girl strong enough to handle my stubborn son, someone who’s capable of knocking sense into him when the need arises. He does come by it naturally, though. His mother is the same way.”

Ben silently groaned, and dropping his head, rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. Rey, though, apparently thought it hilarious. She actually laughed. “Thank you, sir. I look forward to meeting one of the best Poker players around.”

Han’s voice brightened into delighted smugness. “He talked to you about me? I must not be so bad after all.”

Ben took over the conversation before anything else could be said. “And now that your ego has been fed, I’m hanging up or we’ll never get up there. Don’t expect too much out of us today. We just got off the long flight from Morocco. See you later.”

Disconnecting the call, Ben looked up at Rey from where he sat in the passenger seat. With a little grin he said, “You sure about this? About meeting my crazy family? You can still back out.”

Rey leaned in with a bright smile, giving him a lingering kiss. “Not happening. I actually  _ want  _ to meet the family that influenced you as you grew up, who helped shape you into the person you are.”

“Just remember. You asked for it.” Though his words were a warning, his lips quirked upward in humor.

Back on the way to Rey’s apartment building, she turned to him. “You still haven’t told me how I should pack. I’ve never been up in that area, but it being mountains, I imagine it’ll be cold, right?”

“Overnight and in the morning, yeah. The afternoons warm up nicely this time of year. Layers are your best bet.”

“Got it.”

Not too much later, Ben pulled into the parking lot. Rey grabbed her suitcase and camera bag. “I won’t be too long.”

Ben sent her a confused look, getting out of his car. “You think I’m letting you fight your way through that crowd on your own? Hell no.”

Rey frowned up at him, huffing in irritation. “Ben, what do you think is going to happen once they catch sight of you? It’ll be a feeding frenzy! You’re better off staying right here.”

“But you  _ won’t  _ be. At least if I’m there, it’ll draw attention away from you.”

“And we may not get anywhere! No. Just stay here, okay? Besides, I may know of another way in. It really won’t take long. I promise.”

She was gone before Ben could even utter a single syllable in response. Letting out a mildly exasperated breath, he shook his head and climbed back into the car. Two minutes later, his phone rang. Looking at the ID, Ben frowned, tensing.

“Rey? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Ben?” Rey’s timid, anxious voice had Ben launching from his car. “Ben, he’s been here again.”

_ Fuck! _ “Sweetheart, leave. Go out to the hallway. I’m coming up there.”

“Use the d-door … in the back. Ugly cream color. I left it open a little.”

Thankful the parking lot was in the back of the building, Ben ran, his long strides eating up the distance in short order. Spying the door Rey had indicated, he slammed it open and continued running.

“Are you in the hallway?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I’m almost there.”

“I know. I can hear you.”

Cursing the fact the elevator still hadn’t been repaired, Ben thundered up the steps, his footfalls echoing in the stairwell. The instant he appeared on her floor, Rey bolted from her spot on the floor and collided with him, her arms wrapping tightly around his waist. Having expected it, Ben had braced himself for the impact, immediately holding her close, one hand sliding over her back in soothing circles, the other cupping the back of her head. Moments later, she buried her forehead against his neck and inhaled deeply, something she’d done many times, he’d noticed, as she calmed from whatever scare she’d had. He took a step away from her so he could see her face.

“How did you know he’d been here again?”

Rey closed the phone connection and led him to the open apartment door. Then, she motioned at the wall opposite the door, though she didn’t have to. Ben had noticed right away exactly how she had known. A little end table sat against the wall, its surface littered with various crystal birds. Hanging from the wall above it was a large framed photograph of Rey and Wren, Wren’s hand on Rey’s shoulder. In it, Rey looked pale and blank-faced, while Wren wore a cold smirk. Just the thought of the man walking around in Rey’s home, touching who knew what, made him shudder, followed closely by white-hot anger.

Angling Rey away from the sight, Ben forcefully dialed Tage’s number and waited for his friend to pick up. “Tage, the bastard’s been here, again.”

“Ben? You’re back home already?”

Through clenched teeth, Ben bit out, “Focus! Wren. He’s been back in Rey’s apartment. I’m staring at the proof of it. Get down here.”

“I’m on my way. Has anything been touched?”

Ben hated asking, but he knew he had to. “You didn’t touch anything, did you, sweetheart?” Rey vehemently shook her head. “No, Tage, she hasn’t.”

“Good. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

BR

“Can Rey have her place back now?” Ben asked of the lead detective, a guy who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder.

The man turned from speaking with Tage, scowling fiercely. He threw his shoulders back and stood to his full height - which only reached Ben’s shoulders. “In some kind of hurry?”

Sick of this guy’s attitude, Ben clenched his fists for a moment. “As a matter of fact, yes, we are. Rey and I were going up to Lake Tahoe for a few days. Is that a problem?”

“Listen, I know you think you’re a big shot being a star and having a friend on the force, but that doesn’t impress me. So, you can just - ”

Tage, recognizing the signs of Ben’s temper and knowing full well how frustrated and helpless he must feel, shut his colleague down before anything more inflammatory could be said. “Ben, that’s a good idea. Take Rey and disappear until you’re needed on set again. She’s given her statement. Nothing else has been disturbed. I’ll even talk to Rose to let her know what’s going on if Rey hasn’t already.”

The other detective whirled on Tage, his face ruddy, a fierce scowl in place. “You have no control over who comes and who goes. This is  _ my  _ case.”   
  


“Jack, stop being an asshole and let Ben get Rey out of here. The girl’s safe place has been invaded a second time. She doesn’t need to be here any longer.” To Ben, he made a shooing motion.

Not wasting a second, Ben returned to Rey’s side. “Pack up. We’re going.”

Rey’s head jerked up to meet his. “We are? I can go?”

One corner of Ben’s mouth twitched as he said, “Tage’s orders. Well, he thought it a good idea when I told him we were leaving for a few days. So, go pack.”

Rey hadn’t been gone long before she was back with a shoulder bag draped across her body, her camera bag, and her purse. “I’m ready.”

Ben couldn’t help but be impressed. “Well, that didn’t take long. It’s been my experience that most women take much longer than that to pack. Even my own mother takes longer than that.”

“Well, I’m not most women.”

Ben draped his arm across her shoulders and placed a kiss in Rey’s hair. “No, you’re definitely not and I thank God for it.”

Ben stopped at his house to pack and then they were driving north. Luckily for him, he’d managed to sleep on the plane, so he felt he could easily make the drive. Rey, on the other hand, already looked drowsy. The weather was that perfect temperature of not too hot and not too cold, so Ben reached above him and opened the sunroof to let in a little breeze. Rey turned her head and beamed at him.

Sometimes, it still amazed him how she took pleasure in the simplest of things. Growing up the way she had, it was little wonder. He wanted to shower her with everything she could possibly want but knew she wouldn’t accept it. Oddly enough, it was one of the things that he loved about her. She was determined to do things on her own, to achieve things on her own. He fully admired her for it. It exasperated him at times, yes, but he still admired her.

They’d been traveling for a couple of hours, mostly in silence, and Ben had thought Rey had fallen asleep until, from the corner of his eye, he caught a quick swiping motion. Glancing over, his heart clenched at the sight of Rey sitting there with silent tears trickling down her cheeks until she swiped at them or turned her head farther away from him to hide them from him. Wanting to be able to actually talk to her, Ben held his tongue until he came upon a rest stop another mile down the highway. Pulling in, he found a spot.

“Rey, talk to me. What’s wrong? If you don’t want to go, just say so. We can turn around right now. It wouldn’t bother me at all. Just say the word.”

“It’s not that,” Rey said, swiping at another escaping tear. “I let him get to me. Again. I swore I wouldn’t do that. I said I was tired of living  _ his  _ way or any way but mine, and I meant it. So, why did I crumble the first time I was faced with his presence? I hate myself for that and I hate him for making me feel so weak.”

He couldn’t stand it. He had to hold her. Ben climbed out of the car, rounded to her side, and pulled her out to stand with him. Then, he wrapped her in his arms, one around her waist, the other about her shoulders. Closing her door, he leaned against it and just held her, his chin propped on the top of her head, his own eyes beginning to tear up at what Rey must be feeling and being unable to do anything to make it better.

Placing a kiss in her hair, he said, “You’re not weak, sweetheart. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Your home was invaded, your security violated. You have every right to feel scared after something like that. Hell, it would have scared  _ me  _ if I’d gone through what you had.”

That earned him a bit of a chuckle. “Somehow I don’t see anyone attempting to intimidate you. You outsize everyone. Not only that, when you let that inner Marine out, you give off this vibe that should warn anyone with half a brain to stay the hell away from you.” Tilting her head back to look up at him, she offered him a little grin. “It’s kind of sexy. You should let that Ben out to play a little more.”

Ben laughed, a little startled at her abrupt mood change. “I guess I’m glad you aren’t scared off by that. You bring it out in me, though. But seriously, where Wren is concerned, you’ve been conditioned to respond in fear. You just have to give yourself time to unlearn what you have learned.”

Rey dropped her head back to his chest, right over his heart, and breathed deeply. “How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?”

Ben responded with an embarrassed half-laugh. “I don’t. I usually just talk and hope for the best.”

“Well, it works.”

“Good.”

Rey stretched upward, lifting her head from his chest, and Ben ducked his to meet her lips in a soft kiss that still managed to have a profound effect on him, especially when she sighed in contentment. She tasted of sunshine and honey, of home and happiness, the last two of which had Ben pulling away, shaken at the thought.  _ Way too soon to be thinking like that! Isn’t it? Just because you love someone, it doesn’t necessarily lead to that, does it? I must be so damn deep in it, it’s too dark to see my way out if I’m having thoughts like those.  _ Gazing down at Rey, his thumb skimming the curve of her bottom lip as it stretched into a soft smile, Ben offered her his own tender smile.  _ And just maybe, this darkness I don’t mind in the least. I could bask in it, pull it close like a blanket to keep me warm, its comforting weight bringing me solace when we’re apart. _

Rey’s smile widened slightly. “What are you thinking about right now?”

Feeling he couldn’t say what he truly wanted to, Ben offered her something else. He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, trailing his thumb over her cheek and the shell of her ear. He swallowed before forcing the other words out before he lost his nerve.

“About how I feel so damn connected to you. I don’t have the words to describe how it feels.”

In response, Rey pressed her lips to his fiercely, passionately, lingering a few moments before pulling back. “You don’t have to try to explain it. I feel it, too. It’s how I knew something was wrong back in Morocco.”

Joy threatening to bubble out of him, Ben brilliantly smiled and lifted Rey so they were chest to chest and she had to look slightly down at him. With a teasing tone, he asked, “Did you, now? When you said you had to see me, I thought you’d just missed me.”

Rey propped her forearms on his shoulders and laughed, her hair concealing them a little as she looked into his eyes. “That, too.”

_ Marry me.  _ Ben had to bite his tongue hard to keep those words from escaping. Rey was just getting her life sorted out. She’d only ever be known as  _ his  _ whatever and she wouldn’t want that. Hell,  _ he  _ didn’t want that for her. Rey deserved to be known as the brilliant photographer that she was, to be known for herself. 

He sobered a little as he thought about the moment he’d opened his eyes in Morocco and saw Rey sitting next to him. “I’m glad you were there. I had missed you. Even though I knew you weren’t there on set, I kept looking for you. Not seeing you … it almost hurt.”

Her arms folding around his neck, Rey dropped her forehead to his and whispered, “We’re together now.” She looked around them, then grinned down at him. “I think you’ve been recognized. Cell phones are coming out.”

Though Ben groaned, it was in good nature. He couldn’t be too upset since he and Rey  _ were  _ in public. They were bound to be noticed at some point. At least everyone seemed to be keeping their distance, which was nice.

Setting her back on her feet, Ben gestured toward the buildings. “Do you need to … ?”

Rey glanced around them again. “Maybe not here. No need to invite trouble.”

“Good thinking.” Opening her door, he helped Rey back inside, then shut it when she was situated.

BR

Ben couldn’t have been happier to reach his parents’ long driveway that afternoon. The last two hours he’d stifled countless yawns. Apparently, sleeping on a ten-hour-plus flight wasn’t as restful as he’d thought. Checking on Rey, he found her asleep again and grinned. Obviously, she hadn’t gotten enough rest, either. With a light touch, he nudged her awake.

“We’re here.”

Rey jolted upright, blinking. “Damn. I fell asleep again, didn’t I?”

Clenching his jaw against another yawn, Ben nodded, inhaling through his nose instead, only speaking when it had passed. “You did, but don’t worry about it. It’s not unusual to get tired during a car trip.”

Her fingers caressed his cheek. “You look pretty worn out, too.”

Capturing her hand, Ben kissed her palm and smiled a little wearily. “I’ll crash easily tonight.” He looked around at the pine trees currently lining the drive. “It’s so much easier to sleep up here. Not sure what it is, but I’ve always loved it here.”

Rey, too, studied her surroundings. “It’s beautiful. So different from all the palm trees that litter the L.A area like dots in a puzzle book.”

Ben softly laughed at the apt description. L.A  _ was _ lousy with palm trees. They turned a winding curve and the pine trees gave way to a large pasture that led to a barn sitting not too far from his parents’ house. He could barely contain the grin over what he knew would be coming. Any second now, she’d spot - 

“Oh, my God, Ben! Horses?! You have  _ horses _ ?!” 

Ben scanned the pasture for a black form and failed to find it. Goliath always came up to the fence and galloped along it as he drove in. He slowed to get a better look. There! Coming in fast was the familiar form of Ben’s horse. It reached the fence and turned as Ben continued driving. Rey’s fingers clamped down onto his.

“A Friesian,” Rey breathed. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide in delight, her smile so bright it could have lit up a darkened night. “You never told me you had a Friesian! How could you not tell me that!”

“Surprise?” he said with a laugh.

Ben pulled to a stop at the corral. Taking in Rey’s enthralled expression, he said, “Go say hi. I’m sure he’d love to meet you.”

Rey didn’t need any other prompting. She jumped out and fearlessly approached the corral fence, hand outstretched to scratch between the horse’s eyes. Ben climbed out of the car and simply watched her in amusement, pleased she didn’t seem scared. After a few moments, he joined her, scratching his horse on its nose.

Rey whirled to face him. “Oh, please tell me you named him Goliath.”

Hearing his name, Goliath nodded his head, breathed through his nostrils, then began to prance around the corral. Ben burst into laughter. “Goliath, you show-off!”

“So you  _ did  _ name him after the horse in the film!”   
  


Ben looked down at Rey as if it was silly for him to consider another name. “Of course, I did. No other name fits.”

“He’s so beautiful! And big! So much bigger than they look on film! Powerfully built and yet so graceful. And that long wavy mane!” Rey looked up at him with a playful grin. “He’s you as a horse.”

Goliath quit prancing and returned to them for more scratches, which Ben obliged, face and ears burning. He’d get her back for that the instant the opportunity arose. “Do you ride, Rey? Have you ever?”

“No, I haven’t but would love to. I take it you do.”

Ben nodded, breathing in the mix of pine and horse in the air. “Every time I come up here. Unfortunately, that’s not as often as I’d like.”

“Benjamin! I thought I heard your car!”

Ben grimaced, which Rey caught and snickered. He really wished his mother would use the shortened version he preferred. Goliath diverted Ben’s attention by planting his nose right between Rey’s breasts and blowing through his nostrils, much to Rey’s embarrassment.

Ben, chuckling, shoved the horse’s head away. “Be a gentleman. Find your own girl. Where’s your partner in crime?” Here it was. His chance to get her back. Whispering in Rey’s ear, he added, “Not that I can blame him at all.”

He received a playful shove, Rey’s face having turned scarlet. “Ben!”

“Benjamin Lucas, you did not just embarrass that girl! Oh, what am I thinking? Of course you did. You’re your father’s son, after all.”

“Hey! Come on, Princess. You make that sound like a bad thing.”

Ben took Rey by the hand and approached his parents. “Mom, Dad, this is Rey. Rey, my parents, Leia and Han.”

Leia immediately enveloped Ben into a hug, then moved to Rey. “You’ll have to excuse my son. I’ve tried to teach him proper manners, but he’s too much like his father.” 

“Again, you make that sound like a bad thing.”

Ben stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling his face fill with prickling heat. Again. Rey looked up at him with a certain light in her eyes that he knew all too well. She winked at him. “It’s alright. I’ll just get him back for it later. Just like the time I told him he could keep his leeches.”

Both his parents turned to eye him with brows raised, prompting Ben to roll his eyes, fighting a grin. “There weren’t any leeches in that river and she knows it.”

“Of course, I did, but I had to tease you a little.”

Momentarily forgetting who else was with them, Ben lifted a hand, thumb and forefinger close together, and with a full teasing grin, he replied, “This close. You were this close to getting pulled in there with me. I just  _ had  _ to restrain myself.”

“I like her.”

His father’s comment and his mother’s agreement left Ben to blush again. How could he have forgotten about them standing right there? But, that’s how it often was with Rey. She made him forget about everything else, the outside world simply vanishing.

Scrambling to find something to get the attention off himself, he blurted out, “Mom, show her the other horse. Where is she anyway? She’s usually with Goliath.”

Rey’s gaze flicked between his mother and Ben. “Other horse?”

“We had to isolate her for a few days.”

“What? Why?” His mother simply stared at him with brows raised. It quickly dawned on him and he swore he probably looked like a lobster by now. “Oh. Is it, uh, over?”

“We were getting ready to release her when you pulled up. Perhaps you’d like to do it instead.”

“Sure.”

Quick to get away from any other embarrassing topics, Ben took Rey by the hand and led her towards the barn. “This one you really have to see. She’s been Goliath’s sidekick for several years.”

However, it seemed his mother wasn’t finished humiliating him just yet. “Benjamin, you’ve been around horses for years. How is it that you  _ still  _ get beet red at the mention of a mare going into heat?”

Ben cringed and lengthened his stride. “Mother, please. Let’s just not talk about it right now, okay?”

Once in the barn, Ben inhaled deeply, loving the sweet smell of hay and horse. In his opinion, only one thing could compare and that was the scent of honey and vanilla. Rey. He led her down to the last stall, the only one occupied, and grinned when she let out a little excited squeak.

“An Andalusian?! Oh, my God, she’s gorgeous! All white except for that little bit of dark gray on her nose. And that long, pale gray mane and tail! She’s almost as tall as Goliath!” Rey whirled on him, punching his arm. “You’re in so much trouble for not telling me about them!”

Ben playfully rubbed his bicep, and said with a laugh. “Surprise? Again?”

“I  _ really  _ like her,” came Han’s amused stage whisper from not too far away.

Letting out a put-upon sigh, Ben unlatched and opened the stall door with a practiced ease. Patting the horse on the neck, he said, “Let’s go find your friend, shall we? I’m sure he’s missed you.” Not bothering with a lead, he simply grabbed the halter and headed for the open barn door, passing his smug father and amused mother.

Rey fell into step beside him. “So what’s her name?”

Full grin in place, Ben turned his attention to Rey. “Technically, it’s Lady Isabeau. Izzy for short. You’ll ride her when we go.”

“Really? You’ll let me ride her?” Rey’s excitement instantly dimmed. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I’d have no clue as to what I was doing. I’d hate to do something wrong.”

An enthusiastic whinny from the corral had Izzy perking up her head. Ben let her go and watched as she trotted into the corral, nuzzled Goliath, then headed out into the pasture, Goliath right behind her. Leaning on the corral fence, Ben watched them go, easily empathizing with his horse. He’d felt the exact same way when he’d returned to his hotel room to see Rey asleep on his bed.

“Awww. He did miss her.” Rey, too, leaned against the fence and watched them run off, their manes and tales flying in the breeze. “They look stunning together. All dark and all light. They complement each other so well.”

“They are stunning together,” Leia said softly. “And they do complement each other in every way possible.”

Something in his mother’s tone had Ben looking over his shoulder in her direction. Her gaze wasn’t on the horses but on himself and Rey. He supposed he  _ had  _ dressed in darker colors while she had dressed in mostly light ones. Pleased with how well things had gone, he relaxed, and upon doing so, half-yawned.

His mother immediately leaped into action. “Go take a nap. You look beat. Your father and I can entertain Rey. Maybe we’ll tell her some stories about when you were little.”

Rey giggled and rubbed her hands together. “Oh, these I have to hear.”

“If that’s your plan, then I think I should stay awake. Out of self-defense if nothing else.” 

Running a hand over his face, he stifled yet another yawn. Despite wanting to remain awake, he didn’t think he’d really last much longer. In his pocket, his phone buzzed. Checking the ID, he dreaded answering but knew he had to, adrenaline waking him up a bit more.

“Tage, what’s up?”

“Rose and Finn ran into Wren outside the apartment building.”

Ben closed his eyes, his free hand lifting to rub his brow where a headache was forming. “Shit. Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Nothing was disturbed in the apartment. I’m thinking he miscalculated and hadn’t had a chance to go up there.”

“Let me guess. He disappeared by the time you got there.”

“Of course. The damn bastard slipped away like the snake he is. One good thing has come of this, though. Finn and Rose are dating.”

“That’s the only silver lining in all of this, I guess. Alright. Thanks for calling.”

“Ben?”

For a brief moment, Ben considered not telling Rey anything but she’d heard his side of the conversation and knew something had happened. He couldn’t keep it from her. Rose was likely to tell Rey anyway.

“Wren was spotted outside your apartment building. Rose and Finn saw him.”

Rey blanched, eyes widening. “Oh, my God.”

Cupping her face, Ben stared her straight in the eye. “It’s okay, Rey. Nothing happened. He hadn’t been in the apartment again.” 

Taking one of her hands, he placed it on his chest and began the deep, deliberate breathing he had done for her before. Before long, Rey had calmed enough for the panic in her eyes to fade to a storm of another kind. Wrenching away from him, she paced back and forth, hands clenched at her sides.

“Why can’t he just leave me alone?! Maybe I really would be better off if - ”

His voice sharp, Ben snapped, “Don’t even finish that thought! You know what would happen if you followed through.”

Rey dropped her head into her hands and sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. Reflex.”

“Would you rather we left so you can talk?”

Rey startled, obviously having forgotten his parents were still close by. “Uh, no. It’s alright. You should probably know the truth. I’m surprised you don’t know by now anyway.”

Holding out his hand, Ben gestured toward the house with a nod of his head. “Come on. Let’s go get settled and then talk it out.”

BR

  
  


Rey’s mind reeled. The land. The horses. The large, beautiful log house Han and Leia had. Han and Leia, themselves. Wren outside her apartment building again. It just seemed too much so she focused on one thing - the horses. Specifically, Ben’s horse - a Friesian. She tried picturing him astride the muscular black beast but only partially succeeded. Focusing a little more, she imagined him dressed in Navarre’s all black attire, knee-high black boots, black cloak flowing behind him, Goliath decked out like his namesake in the film, and smiled faintly. That worked. The opportunity to ride an actual Andalusian both terrified and excited her.

Turning her attention to Ben’s parents, who led them in the direction of the house, Rey marveled at how small his mother was, in build as well as height. She was even shorter than Rey, herself, was. Ben obviously took after his father there. As far as looks, Ben had inherited his mother’s dark eyes and dark hair, though Ben’s was darker than hers. The rest of Ben’s features seemed to be a mix of his parents. From what little she’d seen so far, however, many of Ben’s expressions had been all his dad. The crooked grin Rey loved so much had come from his father.

Ben stopped by his car to grab their bags. Rey tried to take hers, but Ben wouldn’t hand it over. He did let her carry her ever-present camera bag, however. Inside the house was just as open and inviting as Ben’s house. Leia led them up a set of stairs and Rey suddenly had a mortifying thought. Would Ben’s mother assume she and Ben would share a room? Would she expect them to keep to themselves in that aspect? Would she insist on it? This was so far out of the realm of Rey’s experience that she didn’t know what to say or do.

At the top of the stairs, Leia motioned to an open door on the right. “Benjamin, your room as always.”

Glancing inside, Rey found the room decorated in deep blues and greens with furniture of a wood almost as dark as his eyes. A large window helped keep the room from being overly dark. The view from said window was stunning. And - was that - was that Lake Tahoe there in the distance? She took another quick glance around his room. Though homey and comfortable, it still screamed  _ privilege, money _ . Not just the room, but the house, the horses. Everything! Rey couldn’t help wondering how Ben could grow up like this and still be so … humble, so  _ genuine _ . A little frisson of anxiety trickled down her spine. She couldn’t fit into this kind of world. She had no experience dealing with this. Again, she wouldn’t know how to think or act without embarrassing any of them.

Leia motioned to the open door opposite Ben’s. “I thought you might like this one, Rey.”

Fighting a spectacular blush, Rey refused to look at Ben as she took her bag from him. This room had been decorated in rosy reds and pale peaches. The furniture here was made of a warm, honey-toned wood. A large window looked out upon the front, the pasture lining the driveway on the left.

Setting her bag on the floor next to the bed, Rey turned to face Ben’s mother. “It’s lovely. Thank you.”

Something flickered across Leia’s face but it disappeared so quickly Rey couldn’t be certain of what she’d seen. Had it been relief that Rey hadn’t balked at the idea of separate bedrooms? Had it been amusement at her obvious embarrassment? Did Leia have the same doubts that  _ she _ did about fitting into their world? Was this the room given to the other women Ben had brought here? Did Ben’s mother truly not like her and was simply playing the good host until she could get her son alone and ask him what the heck he was thinking? What?  _ What  _ had that brief expression meant?

Back in the hallway, Rey saw several other doors, which she presumed to be spare rooms. She was mostly right as Leia explained, “The next door on your left is the bathroom. The three doors on the right are spare rooms. The last door on the left is mine and Han’s bedroom.”

“You have a lovely place. It’s absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you, Rey. We get up here as often as we can, but sometimes it’s not often enough.” Leia’s gaze flicked between her and Ben. “Have you eaten lunch?”

Looking more tired than he had before, Ben took Rey’s hand and started back down the stairs. “We have. This conversation is one for the kitchen table.”

What had he meant by that? Rey glanced between Ben and his mother. Leia simply nodded her understanding. “I’ll get your father. He’s probably snuck down to the garage to fiddle with that car of his again.”

Ben snorted. “The Falcon? It’s perfect the way it is. What’s to fiddle with?” Leading her into the kitchen, he explained. “Dad has this cherry red ‘69 Ford Falcon that was his first restoration and kept it. It’s pretty nice. Don’t tell him I said that, of course, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

By the time the four had gathered around the table and the story of Wren was disclosed, an hour had passed. Feeling rather exposed and anxious now that Ben’s parents knew how stupid she’d been, Rey kept her gaze focused on the table. Would they ask that she leave Ben alone to keep him safe? A large hand landed on her knee, squeezing gently. She looked up into Ben’s eyes and felt immediately calmer. No matter how his parents reacted, his expression said  _ You’re not alone. _

“Men like that should be taken out and shot.”

Han’s harsh voice startled Rey into looking up at him. His jaw clenched tightly, his fingers interlaced on the tabletop so tightly they’d lost all color, Ben’s father looked every bit a man not to be trifled with. Leia hid her anger better, but it was still obvious in her stiff bearing, her thinned lips, the fire flashing in eyes very much like her son’s.

Leia laid a hand on Han’s arm. “Han - ”

“It’s true, and I’d prefer the first shot at him.” 

“Sorry, Dad, but that belongs to me.”

“Surely, I’m not hearing two people casually discussing committing a crime however well-deserved in front of a government official?”

The sideways smile he’d gifted to his son stole across Han’s features as he turned to his wife. “Relax, Princess. Ben and I are just talking, right?” Of course, the look he gave Ben said exactly the opposite.

“Of course, we are. You know not to take Dad seriously.”

“Watch yourself, kid. I could still take you if I needed to.”

For the first time since discovering Wren had been back to her building, Rey chuckled. Seeing the easy byplay between the three actually put Rey at ease. Despite Leia’s status as a state official and Han’s fame as a major player in the classic car restoration business, they still were normal people, normal people who teased each other to show their affections, who were willing to support someone because it was the right thing to do. It warmed her heart to know they accepted her in Ben’s life, even with the added drama and possible danger to their son or themselves.

Leia eventually steered the conversation into girl-talk territory, effectively sending Han and Ben scrambling away to settle in the living room. Rey, in turn, giggled and marveled at how Leia had handled her men over the years. She admired the woman for her strength and perseverance, something Rey hoped to have one day.

“You already do, you know.”

Shocked at having her innermost wishes discovered and spoken of so boldly, Rey stammered, “W-What?”

“I could read your expression. You wish you had strength enough to get you through anything. I’m telling you that you already do.” Leia lightly placed a hand on Rey’s arm. “Everything you’ve been through is a testament to that. Many women would have been broken, but you, you’re still fighting, you’ve taken your life back. That takes tremendous strength and I admire that.”

Rey shook her head, not willing to give this woman a false impression. “I wasn’t always.” She let out a little laugh as she thought back to when she’d first moved to California and her early days on set with Ben. “I was as timid as a church mouse. Even when I arrived on set months later, being around men made me nervous. I mean, I practically bolted from Ben that first day.” 

She blushed just thinking about it. “It was early and the sun was just coming up. He was showing me around and the light hit him just right at one point. I had my camera up and was taking pictures before I even realized what I was doing. Once I did realize how long I had kept him, I panicked and bolted. I lived in fear for two days that he’d complain and have me fired for wasting his time.” Shaking her head, Rey still had a hard time believing she’d kept her job. 

Leia simply smiled softly. “But he didn’t. I’m not blind. I know how much he hates the glam that goes with his job, how he hates the cameras, but sometimes, that son of mine displays the patience of a saint when dealing with them. Must get that from his uncle because he certainly doesn’t get it from me or Han.”

Rey could certainly agree with that. “He truly does. I avoided him after that first day but he sought me out, staying far enough away that I didn’t feel trapped but close enough we could easily talk. I was laid out on the ground taking some photos and he knelt down on that hard ground - practically folded himself up into as tiny a package as possible - and just waited, waited for me to acknowledge him. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Benjamin’s always led with his heart. I couldn’t tell you how many times he brought home stray cats or dogs because he couldn’t bear to see them in need of a home. Many of them had owners and had to be returned. Broke his heart every time, but more often than not, the animal and owners had simply been separated and were happy to be reunited.”

Not sure how to take that, Rey glanced into the living room, and a grin flashed across her face when she realized Ben had fallen asleep in his chair, Han gone. It faded, though, as she pondered Leia’s words.

“Is that what I am? A stray who needed help?” Rey tried to keep her voice light and casual, but knew by the waver in it that she hadn’t succeeded.

“Maybe at first. It changed for him the more he came to know you. I know  _ that  _ by how he’s spoken of you and how he’s acted with you. You may not fully realize this, but you hold all the power. You have his heart. A single word or act could lift him up or have him crashing so deeply he’d never crawl out of the hole.”

Immediately, Rey shook her head. “I have to disagree. I  _ don’t  _ have all the power because he has it over me, too. We share that power equally.”

“Well-said. Hearing you say that, to acknowledge it, proves you’re wise beyond your years and makes this mother feel reassured her son is in good hands.”

“Were you testing me?”

“No. I fully believe in allowing Benjamin to make whatever mistakes he’s going to. I sincerely meant what I said. It’s hard to understand until you’re a mother yourself.”

Heat returned to Rey’s cheeks, flooding them with color. “Oh, well, uh, you don’t have to worry about that. That … that’s not happening any time soon. I mean, he and I, we, uh, aren’t, uh, haven’t … ”

Leia chuckled, patting Rey’s arm. “Relax. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, and I certainly wasn’t fishing for information. What you and my son do or don’t do is none of my business. I gave you a room in case you would feel more comfortable. Use it or don’t.”

Rey nervously giggled. “You’re being incredibly kind about all of this. I imagine most parents wouldn’t feel the same.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. However, Benjamin is a grown man and will do as he pleases - as it should be.”

Here was her chance to talk to the one person who knew Ben best about his guilt complex, how it began, or how to circumvent it. Did she dare? This  _ was  _ his mother, after all. He’d probably be mortified to know the two of them talked about something so personal. She felt she needed to understand, but would it cost her? Ben was bound to discover she and his mother had talked about it. How would he react? Would he be unbearably hurt by her actions? Incensed that she went to his mother? The more Rey thought about it, discussing it with Leia seemed too similar to Ben going to Tage for information. She felt she had to at least  _ try  _ going directly to the source first. If that didn’t work, then  _ maybe  _ a chat with Leia would be okay.

“You look as if you have questions, Rey. You can ask them.”

“I could, yes, but I think I should wait. It’s something I should discuss with Ben, first. Or, at least try to.”

Leia gave Ray a decisive nod. “Fair enough. Now, let me tell you about the time he was five years old, came home covered head to toe in mud and carrying a frog.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The event some of you have been waiting for! Some smut!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter, Rey says Goliath is Ben as a horse. I have to agree that the Friesian (the black one in the mood board) is definitely Adam in equine form.

**_You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not._ **

**_―_ ** **_Jodi Picoult,_ ** [ **_My Sister's Keeper_ ** ](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1639903)

Rey passed the afternoon with Leia, hearing childhood stories of Ben’s misadventures, from helping his father working on cars and tracking oil and grease all over the house to the attempt to sneak a raccoon into the house, thinking it would make a great pet. Everyone had dogs or cats, after all. No one else had a raccoon! He’d been eight at the time. Then, the photo albums came out and Rey’s heart nearly melted at the sight of baby Ben grinning widely, food all over him. He’d been an adorable child. All arms, legs, and bright smile. She noticed a saddening trend, however. The older he grew, the more the light dimmed in his eyes, his smile becoming forced. The only time he appeared genuinely happy was when they were here at the ranch, when he was with Goliath. She could see a level of emotional … hurt, for lack of a better word, in those photographed eyes that literally pained her to look into them.

“I could never get him to open up,” Leia commented softly, her fingers lightly skimming one of the pictures of a straight-faced Ben. “It was like a switch had suddenly flipped, and he grew quiet and moody. To this day, I still have no idea what brought on his sudden change.”

Ben looked to be around twelve or thirteen when he began to appear more solemn. A tidbit of information bubbled up to the forefront of her mind from the day she had met Finn. A comment or two had been made about high school and Rey had the impression that time period had not been good for any of them but especially not for Ben. Now, she wondered if the trouble, whatever it had been, had started earlier than that. Kids could be very cruel, she knew. Had he been bullied? Had he been bullied for  _ years _ ? Surely, he would have said something to his parents, wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t Leia have noticed something like that? Did she or Han even  _ think about  _ the possibility? 

_ I’m a bit of a sight gag. Ridiculously tall with big hands, nose and feet. I won’t even mention my ears. It’s a wonder I landed this role at all.  _

_ An actor, an owner of a shooting range, and a police detective. Sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke. _

_ Yeah, that’s what we were in high school. _

The more Rey considered it, the more she feared she was drawing the correct conclusions. If Ben had been picked on for the entirety of his teen years, then that would explain his issues with being the center of attention when not in front of a movie camera. It would certainly explain his insecurity, the way he viewed himself, wouldn’t it? And, if Leia had no idea what caused Ben to change so drastically, then she probably was completely unaware of the issues he battled. Now, she was even more glad she had kept silent a few hours ago.

She stared down at what she guessed to be a fifteen-year-old Ben’s school photo. “He was cute.” Rey tilted her head a little as she studied him. “I can see Ben as he is now in this picture. There’s something very familiar here. Maybe it’s the intensity in his gaze. I’ve seen that look several times.”

“I don’t doubt it, considering the other stuff happening. He will do everything he can to protect you, Rey.”

“I know, and it scares me.” Rey turned away from the photo in front of her, her gaze falling to the currently-napping Ben, sprawled in his chair with one leg hooked over the chair arm and the other outstretched, arms folded over his waist. “I don’t want him hurt because of me. Or rather, because of my mess. Just the thought breaks my heart.”

Leia gave her arm a comforting squeeze, then gently patted her. “I know. You can’t focus on that, though, or it will drive you crazy. Think about how you feel when you’re together.  _ That’s  _ what will get you through it. I know it’s not exactly the same, but when Benjamin decided to enlist after 9/11 and after boot camp, I was terrified of where they’d put him, terrified every day that I would hear that my son was gone. I made myself think of the good times, made myself remember the calls from him when he  _ could  _ call.” 

She looked away from Rey, her own eyes finding Ben in the living room. “I’ve never admitted it to anyone, but I was relieved he had that accident because I knew they wouldn’t send him into combat for a little while longer. Secretly, I cheered when they discharged him, even as I comforted him over it.”

Leia took in a shuddering breath, swiped at a tear that had fallen, and laughed. “I certainly hadn’t meant for our talk to get so depressing.” After glancing at the clock, she patted Rey’s arm again. “Why don’t you go wake him up? It’ll be time for dinner soon. If he sleeps too long now, he won’t be able to tonight.”

“I can help with dinner.”

Leia stood, shaking her head, and giving Rey a small smile. “Absolutely not. Go. Let him give you a small tour of the grounds.”

Rey hesitated, feeling she should help. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Go.”

Still feeling a bit awkward, Rey left the table and stepped into the living room. She hadn’t much chance to before, but now, she took the opportunity to study the room. The furnishings were plush and pale gray, a dark gray floor rug underneath. Against one side wall was a large working fireplace made of dark gray rock, its mantle filled with framed photographs. Snapshots of everyday life in the Solo family. Others also featured in them, people she likely would be meeting at some point while she and Ben were here. Framed landscape photographs dotted the walls. She had to do a double take when her eyes landed on a couple of familiar ones. Heart pounding, mouth agape, Rey stepped up to them. Her sunrise/sunset Death Valley photographs! Lips trembling, she lifted an equally shaky hand to them, feeling like laughing and like crying. How was she supposed to take this? Was it a sign that proclaimed her welcome to them, or was it simply a coincidence?

“They’re very good. You have a great eye.”

Startled, Rey whirled to face Leia. “Thanks.” She had a sudden thought and grinned. “Remind me to show you the ones I took of Ben, both shoots.”

Leia’s brows rose, her gaze now flicking between Rey and her son. “Both? I had no idea there had been more than one. I’ll hold you to that.” With a smile, she disappeared back to the kitchen to continue meal preparations.

Feeling a bit self-conscious with Leia in the other room in plain sight, Rey crossed to Ben’s chair and knelt onto the floor, trying to decide how to wake him up. Sure, she could just shake him, but she’d seen others give their partners a kiss to wake them and had wished to do that one day. 

Checking the kitchen, she saw Leia had her back to them. It was now or never. Leaning in, she pressed her lips lightly to his, lingering as long as she dared. When that failed to rouse him, Rey tried again, this time allowing her lips to move over his, to coax him back to wakefulness. It took a few moments for him to respond, but when he did, the kiss deepened, and Rey forgot about Leia being in the next room, forgot that Ben’s father could walk through the door and catch them any second. Forgot everything but his taste, his scent, and the feel of his arms as they drew her closer.

Eventually, Ben ended the kiss, breathing a little heavier than before, and gave her the smile he reserved just for her. “Now,  _ that’s  _ a way to wake up. I wouldn’t mind being awakened like that all the time.”

Though she blushed, Rey smiled back in return, quipping, “I wouldn’t mind waking you up like that all the time. Come on, it’s closing in on dinnertime. I have orders to tell you to give me a quick tour of the grounds.”

“By all means, then. Let’s go.”

BR

By the time they returned to the house, Rey agreed with Ben’s earlier statements. Something about being there made her feel both calm and energized, was relaxing and yet exciting. Maybe it had to do with the fresh air. Maybe it was the sounds of birds in the trees, of squirrels scurrying to and fro. Maybe it was the underlying silence of the place. Whatever it was, she really liked it.

The only thing that marred her time with Ben was the fact that he was still holding back. Several times he’d gathered her into his arms and she’d been certain he was going to kiss her with more passion than he’d shown in the house. But he didn’t. He didn’t even kiss her, simply held her, which was nice, but it was seriously frustrating. Maybe kissing him awake hadn’t been the best of ideas, after all. The more she thought about it, the more she feared she’d just reinforced his silly notion about lacking self-control. Gigi’s suggestion began to sound more and more plausible. If she and Ben took that final leap in their physical relationship, then there would be no reason to feel as if liberties were being taken. They’d have touched each other, kissed each other, everywhere at that point. She began to plan and would put it into practice that evening, hoping it worked.

Ben’s uncle, Luke, was the first to arrive, bringing with him a pair of dogs that Ben said were his constant companions. The yellow Lab was named Threepio due to the fact it had managed to piss off three different shelter workers within its first five minutes of being there, or so the story went. The Lab’s best friend was a blue and white pit bull by the name of Artoo, having received the name from the shelter people who claimed the pit looked exactly like another they’d had by the name of Rocky. They chose the shortened version of Artoo to avoid any confusion. Having heard stories about pit bulls, Rey had been a little uncertain around him, but watching the dog with everyone, how affectionate it was, especially with Ben, she loosened up and was able to pet the dog’s broad head.

Han’s closest friend, Chuy, arrived next. Rey found herself hard-pressed not to stare at the Hispanic man that actually dwarfed Ben! She wasn’t about to admit it to anyone but his boisterous greeting to Ben and the others intimidated her just a little. He did until he turned his attention to her. His booming voice softened and he held out a massive hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Rey. I was beginning to think Ben, here, was never going to find someone.”

“Gee, thanks, Chuy. You make it sound as if I have one foot in the grave!”

At Chuy’s wink, Rey snickered and took his hand, watching her own disappear into his giant paw a moment and was released. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”  _ Now, those would be a challenge to photograph. _

Either something of her thought had shown on her face or, more likely, Ben just knew where her mind tended to go, because he leaned in and murmured, “Imagining a photoshoot?”

Looking up at him, Rey shrugged with a playful air and said, “And if I was?”

Ben’s eyes shone with humor, a corner of his mouth curling into a teasing grin. “Nothing, as long as you remember that your lips belong to me.”

Feeling incredibly bold, Rey murmured back, “ _ Just  _ my lips? That’s all your claiming?”

The heat that entered Ben’s gaze could have melted steel. Repositioning so that she stood in front of him, Rey casually leaned against his front, and slipped a hand behind her back as if she had an itch. Well, she supposed she did … just not one that could be scratched in public. She made certain to slowly brush against him as she lifted and lowered her hand, inwardly doing a happy dance at the quick intake of breath she heard. Oh, this was going to be fun!

Han’s other friend, Lando, arrived last to no one’s surprise. In Rey’s opinion, the guy seemed nice enough but he kind of reminded her of the ladies’ man type. Some of it was an act, but not all of it. When they all sat around the table, she barely kept the loony grin from her face as Ben sat to her left. With him being right-handed, this played directly into her plan. Let Operation: Drive Ben Crazy begin.

Soon after the meal began, Rey dropped her left hand to her lap, waited a few beats, then excruciatingly slowly moved it over, using the tablecloth as cover, and, with a single finger, drew a line equally as slowly up his inner thigh, following the inseam of his jeans, knowing he couldn’t do a thing to stop her without looking suspicious. All the while, she kept up conversations with the others, asking questions and answering them as best she could. She nearly giggled when Ben fumbled with his fork, the tension rolling off him in waves.

Taking her hand back, Rey continued to eat and enjoy the company as if nothing had happened at all - and waited. Once he’d relaxed and returned to interacting with his parents and the others, she next tortured Ben by placing her hand high on his inner thigh, her pinky mere centimeters from touching him intimately. If she splayed her fingers, she would be. His breath hitched the slightest bit but Rey caught it, as well as the muscles under her hand going taut. 

To see what other reactions she could get out of him, she traced little circles there and was instantly rewarded with Ben shifting in his seat. Shifting … closer? His thigh pressed against hers, providing more space for her hand. Was that an invitation? Well, she’d certainly take it as such. Rey let her pinky and ring finger wander with a whisper-soft touch over him, enjoying the moan Ben had to turn into a cough. God, he was already hard under her fingers and was getting harder! Good! That meant her plan was working! With a little more pressure, she used more of her hand to stroke him, biting her lip to hold back the grin at his deep, shuddering breath. 

“So, Ben, how has filming been going?” Luke asked from across the table. “I thought you were overseas still.”

“What?” The word came out hoarsely and slightly higher pitched than normal, forcing Ben to clear his throat, something Rey took quite a bit of pleasure in. “Filming? Uh, yeah, it’s been fine. We were, uh, overseas, but the weather wasn’t cooperating so we had to come back.”

“Ah. Yeah, Mother Nature can be unfriendly, that’s for certain. And Rey, how has being on a movie set gone for you? Is this a new experience?”

Rey froze completely, not having expected more questions to be directed her way. Which was rather stupid of her, now that she thought about it. “It’s been, uh, mostly good. I’ve had some experiences I’d rather not repeat, but yeah, mostly good.”

Rey’s heart pounded. God, did Ben’s uncle figure out what she was doing and was trying to tell her that he knew? Feeling heat threatening to give her away, she grabbed her drink and forced down a few swallows. Beneath her hand, the hard bulge twitched. Once. Twice. Seemed to beg for more attention. And damn, if that wasn’t a turn on for her! Rey crossed her legs to counter the sudden ache she felt between them. Okay, so, maybe she’d miscalculated. She hadn’t taken into account how this plan of hers might affect her!

“I guess that’s a good thing.”

Rey’s eyes flicked up to Luke, looking for any sign that he knew what she was thinking or feeling but found none. “I - yeah, it’s a good thing. It’s been … entertaining.”

From there, conversation around the table picked up again, everyone talking at once to everyone else. Beside her, Ben shifted positions again, pressing himself against her hand in the process. Taking that as a hint, Rey massaged the impressive hardness with stronger motions, careful to keep her arm as still as possible despite the tablecloth providing excellent cover, loving when he propped his elbows on the table, fork dangling from one hand cupped in the other. Both pressed against his lips as if to further prevent any tell-tale sounds from escaping him.

The ache in her core grew into a throbbing drumbeat. Rey pressed her thighs together but the action merely amplified the fact that Ben was not where she needed him to be right then. Feeling her nipples tighten, she leaned forward to hide any possible visual evidence, working to breathe normally. She had to swallow a moan when Ben ducked his head, his eyes closing, his breath unsteadily puffing between parted lips. She should quit, she knew it, both of them were getting too worked up, but her hand defiantly continued to rub and squeeze every bit of hardness underneath it.

She kept a careful eye on those around them, but everyone appeared completely oblivious. God, she hoped they truly were! She would be beyond mortified if they knew. A large hand suddenly squeezed hers, effectively stilling it, sending Rey’s eyes flying to Ben. The muscle in his jaw flexed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, nostrils flaring as he breathed deeply, the faintest of moans escaping his control. The part of him Rey desperately wanted pressed against her - or better yet  _ inside  _ her - jerked beneath her palm numerous times. Again, his hand squeezed hers. Was he searching for relief? Was it his way of saying  _ Look what you’ve done to me _ ? Or, was he silently scolding her? 

“Benjamin, are you alright? You look a bit flushed and you’ve barely eaten.”

Rey’s head snapped up, her gaze flying to Ben’s mother, terrified they’d just been discovered. All talk ceased at Leia’s question.  _ Oh, God, now what? _

Ben shook his head, offering up a weak smile. “Just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Leia reached out and patted Ben’s arm. “I suppose it has. All of that travel does take a lot out of you. Why don’t you call it an early night?” Her sympathetic gaze landed on Rey. “Both of you. Get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow you can take Rey out riding.”

Ben nodded and yawned, but Rey was certain that was feigned for the others at the table. “That sounds like a good idea.”

When he made to scoot away from the table, Rey snatched her hand back, wondering how in the hell he was going to hide his physical state from everyone. Somehow, he managed to hold his linen napkin in front of himself when he stood and still made it look natural. It wasn’t until he’d pushed the chair in and had turned away from everyone that he dropped the napkin onto the table as if he’d forgotten he held it. He walked away without saying a word. He did it so well, Rey wondered how often he’d had to do it. How many times had he brought someone here and found himself in a similar state? Is that why he seemed so well-practiced? The mere thought made her stomach churn and her chest ache. Of course Ben had brought other women here. Why wouldn’t he? Why did it hurt to contemplate it? She’d known there had been others.

Fighting tears, Rey faked a yawn and scooted away from the table. “I think a good night’s sleep sounds Heavenly right now. Sorry to disappear on everyone.”

“Nonsense. I should have thought about it. Just over twelve hours ago you were on a plane returning from a half a world away. Add in that other business and, of course, you’d be exhausted.” Leia stood as Rey did and gave her a hug. “Sleep as long as you need to.”

“Thanks.” 

Rey flashed an apologetic smile at the others before disappearing up the stairs to the room she’d been given. Not catching sight of Ben, she assumed he had holed up in his room. For a moment, she thought about knocking on his door. Instead, she made a quick trip to the bathroom and returned to her room. Donning her sleep clothes, she climbed into bed, facing the door. She longed to cross the distance to Ben’s room but forced herself to remain where she was, not knowing if she’d be welcome after what she’d done at dinner. Plus, it just seemed right to use the room, at least for the night, since they were at his parents’ house. When sleep finally found her, horses weren’t the only things being ridden in her dreams.

BR

Rey had always been an early riser and the following morning was no exception. Apparently, so was Leia. Peeking out her window, Rey saw the woman standing just off the porch, watching the drive. Looking that way herself, she gasped. Ben, dressed as he had been her third day on set - black jeans and gray shirt - approached his mother on Goliath, riding bareback, at a canter, one of the biggest smiles on his face that Rey had ever seen. Damn what a glorious sight! Pulling up short of the small woman, Rey marveled at his skill and practically drooled over the flexing thigh muscles that relaxed their grip on the horse.

Despite being dwarfed by man and beast, Leia fearlessly reached out and rubbed the horse’s nose. Because they stood almost right under her window, Rey still heard them through the glass. “Benjamin, you look better. Have a nice ride?”

“Yes, I did. I always feel better being out here. You know that.” Leaning forward, Ben patted Goliath’s neck. “He deserved some attention.” With that, Ben dismounted, giving Rey another lovely view that set her heart to racing.

“Of course. Now, come have some breakfast. I’m sure Rey will be up soon if she’s the morning person you’ve told me she is.”

Hearing her name, Rey darted away from the window to gather what she needed for a shower, the image of Ben astride Goliath replaying in her head. 

BR

“So, what do you think? You ready to ride?”

So ready, but oh, he meant the horse. Equally anxious and excited, Rey eyed the saddled Andalusian. “Uh, I guess?”

“We’ll start in the corral and take it easy until you’re comfortable.” Ben laced his fingers together, leaning over slightly, and looked up at her with raised brows.

Self-consciously, Rey placed her left foot into his hands and awkwardly swung her other leg over the horse’s back when he lifted her as if she weighed next to nothing. She watched his deft fingers work the leather straps to adjust the stirrup length. Her mind saw fit to remind her just how nice it felt to have them touch her most intimately, to play her until she’d fallen apart. She shivered at the memory and shifted in the saddle. 

As was her luck, Ben noticed and looked up at her. “You okay? We don’t have to do this.”

“No, I’m fine.” Realizing she was looking down at him for once, she grinned cheekily. “I actually like this sudden height advantage.”

Smirking a little, Ben moved around to adjust the other stirrup. “Enjoy it while you have it because you won’t have it long.”

“Oh, I plan to.”

Adjustments made, Ben had her lap the corral several times to acclimate herself to the horse’s movements before they went riding in the pasture. Not once when she was young did she ever think she’d be riding such a beautiful creature. She could certainly understand the draw now. There was a lulling rhythm to the movements that insisted you forget about whatever weighed on you, to just be in the moment and enjoy it. Glancing over her shoulder, she caught the look in Ben’s eyes as he watched her - the same look he’d had during the photoshoot - and gasped, her body instantly responding.  _ Now there’s another beautiful creature I hope to ride before this little trip is done.  _ She brought Izzy to a stop in front of him.

“Ready for more?”

_ Oh, God, that was such a loaded question! Did his voice just get deeper or was that my imagination? Am I ready for more? Hell, yes!  _ Something extra seemed to hang in the air between them, Rey was sure of it. 

Looking Ben straight in the eye, she nodded slowly. “Yes.”

Ben’s heated gaze intensified, taking a deep breath. He held up a finger. “I’ll be right back.” 

Turning, he quickly jogged to the barn and returned a couple minutes later with a rolled-up blanket, which he tied onto the back of Goliath’s saddle. Watching his muscles bunch in his thigh as he lifted himself into the saddle made Rey’s mouth go dry. God, she hoped things were heading in the direction she thought they were or she just knew she would die from excessive arousal!

Ben took the lead with Rey on his left and slightly behind, leading them across the pasture and through a gate. She couldn’t see any sort of trail but Ben obviously knew where they were going. Eventually, they reached a small, intimate clearing she hadn’t known was there until they’d entered it. Admittedly, Rey was glad to get a break. Riding a horse used muscles she wasn’t used to using! Dismounting with ease and grace, he motioned for her to stay put and proceeded to lay what ended up being one of two blankets onto the ground.

When he returned to her, he did exactly as she’d hoped; he palmed her hips and helped her off Izzy’s back, bringing her chest to chest with him. Rey immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, and stared into his wonderfully intense, coffee-dark eyes. His grip shifted so that both arms wrapped about her hips. They were so close his unsteady breaths mixed with her own.

“Rey, please tell me I didn’t read things the wrong way.”

Locking her ankles behind him, Rey whispered against Ben’s lips, “You didn’t.” Burying her fingers into his hair, she added, “Make love to me, Ben.”

Whatever tether he’d been using to hold himself back seemed to have snapped at her words, for he took her lips in a devouring kiss, his tongue forcing its way inside to tangle with hers. Before Rey could even register that they’d moved, Ben had her lying on the blanket, pulling the other over them to keep out the chill of the early morning, not breaking the kiss in the least. Everywhere his hands and lips touched blazed with heat, so much so that she felt she would spontaneously combust - and he hadn’t really touched her much yet.

Ben’s lips found their way to her stomach, and he used his tongue to leave wet, sensuous open-mouth kisses as he nudged the hem of her shirt upward. Rey’s fingers tightened in his hair, holding him against her, a low moan escaping between her lips. A quick flick and her bra was pushed aside, that talented tongue wrapping around one nipple as he drew it into his mouth. The hum of pleasure from Ben made her squirm under him

As he moved to her other breast, Ben said, “I don’t think I’ve ever voiced my gratitude and appreciation for the fact that you prefer the front-hook bra.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever  _ felt … God, that feels good …  _ more glad and thankful that I do.”

His lips suddenly disappeared. Before she could do more than whimper in protest, her shirt was pulled over her head and tossed aside. Needing to feel his skin against hers, Rey grabbed handfuls of Ben’s shirt and pulled it off with a little help from him. Oh, God, it felt better than she’d expected! She needed more! While attacking his jaw and neck with kisses meant to leave a mark, her hands traveled over the expanse of his back, sliding between them to his belt, thoroughly enjoying every hiss and moan from him as her fingers made quick work of the buckle, occasionally brushing against him as they did so.

She didn’t get the opportunity to go any further. Ben shifted, aligning their bodies and rocked his hips against hers, a desperate moan of pleasure sounding deep in his throat. Oh, sweet Lord, glorious friction! The deep, throbbing ache between her legs not allowing any other action, she matched his motions, making it obvious just how good she thought it felt. The rocking grew more insistent and Rey knew it would be all over soon if she didn’t do something. This was  _ not  _ how she wanted it to go.

“Ben, not like this. Please. I want you inside me.”

Ben suddenly rolled onto his side and Rey felt his trembling hands at her waistband, his chest heaving. “Are you sure about this, Rey? Last chance.”

“Ben, I couldn’t be any more certain.”

Lightning-quick, the remainder of their clothing disappeared, lips meeting lips in a frenzied mating dance all their own. Desperate now, Rey rolled her hips against the very hard length of him and was rewarded by Ben rolling onto his back so she straddled him, bracing herself on hands practically tucked under his shoulders. Not wasting any time, Rey lined them up and thrust her hips down, taking him into her at last with a gasp and deep moan, wrenching a similar sound from Ben as he met her movement with a thrust of his own, gripping her hips tightly.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you feel so incredibly good. I wanted to take it slow, but, I don’t think I can.”

“Good because  _ slow  _ is not what I want right now. I need to come so badly that I’m already halfway there, so, yeah, this isn’t going to take long at all.”

Grinding her hips against his, Rey’s eyes drifted closed, her keening moan swallowed by Ben’s kiss, and she couldn’t stop, the feel of him sliding in and out of her better than she could have ever believed. She rode him hard; her desire demanded it. She hadn’t exaggerated. She desperately needed to come and she was  _ so close!  _ Ben’s own frantic movements and grunts of pleasure only served to spur her on. 

Wanting to see him, Rey opened her eyes to a magnificent sight. A lovely flush colored his normally pale skin. Despite the coolness in the air, sweat beaded across his forehead and dampened the hair at his temples. Though his eyes were tightly closed, his lips had parted, and his rapturous expression bordered on erotic.

“Rey! Fuck, sweetheart, please tell me you’re close! I can’t … Shit, I’m going to … ”

That was her undoing. Rey went supernova.  _ “Ben!”  _

_ “Rey! Fuck! Oh, God, sweetheart!” _

For a time, Rey knew nothing but pleasure. Great cresting waves of it that drowned out everything but Ben and how he made her feel, deep thrusts wringing out every drop of pleasure to be had until nothing was left. She ground against him one last, hard time before collapsing into a boneless heap, her inner walls pulsing with tiny aftershocks from the intensity she just experienced. Little by little, other things seeped into her awareness. The chirping of the birds overhead. The horses nibbling on the grass not far away. The smell of the dew-dampened ground. Ben, however, remained her primary focus. His struggle for breath. His trembling. The occasional minute rolling of his hips even now. 

“God, Ben, that was … ” Really, she didn’t have the words to describe it.

Ben supplied a few in his typical way. “Fucking fantastic? Fucking amazing?”

Rey let out an assenting hum, then chuckled. “Quite literally.”

Ben rolled her onto her back, settling between her thighs again, a full smile lighting up his face. “Good. Now, we’re going to take it slow like I had originally wanted.”

This time, his lips on hers were soft, his tongue lightly coaxing her to open to him. Rey took her time to fully savor every brush of his lips, every leisurely swipe of his tongue against hers. As amazing and intoxicating as those hungry kisses were, these were simply divine. She couldn’t say how long he spent exploring every bit of her mouth, but she enjoyed every second. Where the former kisses spoke of physical need, these spoke of an emotional one. He made love to her with his mouth as he made love to her with his hips, slow strokes designed to entice, to gently stoke the embers of desire once more. It worked, too. Every brush of his sem-hardness against her clit stirring her blood all over again.

Against her pulse point, Ben murmured, “You nearly killed me last night. It’s why I stopped you. Any more and I would have lost it.” He nipped her skin, immediately soothing the spot with long strokes of his tongue.

Already a little breathless, Rey tilted her head back to give him more room. Damn, it was sinful what the man could do with his tongue! “That was the point. Though, I’ll admit I did worry that I took it too far when you left the table without a single glance at me.”

Ben abandoned her neck to look into her eyes, his full lips curving into a wicked grin. “Sweetheart, if I had, we would’ve ended up  _ on  _ that table. I wasn’t certain you wanted … this … so I made my escape and kept to myself. Believe me when I say, it wasn’t easy.”

His unhurried ministrations fell to the opposite side of her neck, his hips still mirroring his tongue, and  _ damn _ , it felt incredibly good. Wanting for him to feel just as good, Rey slowly skimmed her fingernails over the muscles in his back, lifting her hips in a counter rhythm to his, relishing his shudder and moan.

“I’ve wanted this … for a while now. I’ve told you so. Last night, my dreams consisted of a lot of riding but not necessarily of horses.”

Ben’s breath hitched against her neck, his “Fuck, Rey,” barely audible.

“Then, I saw you this morning on Goliath, and I couldn’t help wondering how those muscled thighs of yours would feel against mine, skin to skin.” Locking her ankles at his lower back allowed him to slide a little deeper into her, wringing moans from both of them. “Now, I know. It’s Heaven.” 

Ben’s lips returned to play with hers a few moments before saying, “Now, I have a fantasy of doing this on horseback.”

The mental image that invoked, of her wrapped around Ben, riding him as he rode Goliath, set her inner walls to quivering with little spasms, and she rolled her hips a little harder against his. “Oh, God, yes!”

His breath quickening, Ben’s kisses grew less leisurely, as did his hips, though the pace by no means reached desperation as before. “Are you picturing it, sweetheart? Because I am, and I have to say, it’s hot as hell.”

With a little whimper, Rey captured his lips in a fierce kiss in an effort to encourage him to pick up the pace. “Tell me,” she panted.

In between kisses, Ben elaborated. “You’re wearing that skirt outfit you wore in Morocco, and you’re wrapped tightly around me, your panties shoved aside for me. You’re sliding up and down my cock, riding me as I ride Goliath, bareback, his gait doing all the work for us. Can you see it? Can you feel it?”

Oh, Rey felt it. His breathless but sensuous voice painted the picture so clearly it sent her careening off the edge she wasn’t aware was so close. “Oh, God!”

Ben followed right behind her, a series of deep moans and gasps escaping his control and mingling with hers, as he forcefully thrust into her. Each desperate sound he made, each quick roll of his hips, each crude word that fell from his lips like a prayer, they humbled Rey to the point of tears.  _ She  _ gave him that. He found that much satisfaction in  _ her _ . Everything she’d experienced with Ben, from the day she’d met him to now, had been nothing but beautiful. Sometimes, she still felt as if she didn’t deserve Ben, but she’d hold on tightly and never let him go. Tightening her grip around his waist and his back, she buried her face into his neck, all too aware of the dampness at the corners of her eyes.

Ben tensed, rolled them to their sides and ran a hand tenderly over her face, palming away the salty drops with deeply concerned eyes. “Rey? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He paused for a second, seeming to brace himself. “Did we move too fast?”

Oh, this beautiful, beautiful man! And he was hers. Beaming, Rey leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just being,” at Ben’s raised brows, a look that clearly said  _ What did I tell you about that _ , she laughed and finished with, “nevermind. I promise, though, nothing’s wrong. I just … I love you. So much.”

His concern melted away, leaving behind a full smile, great joy shining in his eyes. “I love you, too, Rey. More than I ever thought possible.” Ben gathered her close, making certain both of them were completely covered with the blanket. “Stay with me tonight. I want to lie next to you.”

Here was her chance. She’d thought she’d have to find a way to bring it up, but he’d just given her the perfect opening. The question was, did she really want to now? What if it ruined the moment? Made him angry and he reverted to barely touching her again? Rey didn’t think she could go through that again but sleeping beside him and having him subsequently withdrawing from her because hands had wandered was infinitely worse. She had to know, to be sure.

“And if our hands wander in our sleep again? What then?” She tried to make her questions sound casual, but her voice wavered, revealing how hurt she’d been at his previous reaction.

Ben tensed at her questions, then let out a large breath, holding her just a little tighter. “I know I hurt you. I hate that I did. I just … felt as if I had taken advantage of you, and I hated that even more because it made me no better than Wren. I felt as if I needed to make it up to you, to prove that I wasn’t like him, to you and to myself.”

“But, Ben, you never had anything to prove. Not to me. I wouldn’t be able to love you as much as I do if you were even  _ remotely  _ like him. So, no more distancing yourself? Because I have to say, I am  _ not  _ going to complain about waking up to being touched anywhere.”

“No. I promise. I won’t do that again. It hurt too much the first time.”

Nuzzling his neck, Rey said, “Good. Then, to answer your question, I’d love to stay with you tonight, but what about your parents? I mean, will they care?” Rey then rolled her eyes. “What am I saying? Of course, they won’t. Your mom even said as much, and probably has said the same thing to the others.”

“Others? What others?”

Rey flushed, glad she wasn’t looking into Ben’s eyes. Explaining was hard enough as it was. “The others you’ve brought here. You don’t have to deny it. I’m aware I’m not your first.” She was forced to when he shifted away enough to look down at her, his brow knit in apparent confusion.

“Rey, there haven’t been any others here. Have you spent all this time thinking … ?” His expression turned dark. “And, let me guess, you also thought any woman coming to the ranch with me also came out here, too, right? Do you actually think so little of me? That I would do that?”

Rey winced, knowing she’d just royally screwed up. She had to figure out how to fix it; she couldn’t lose Ben now. “I’m sorry. No, I don’t think that, Ben. I swear I don’t. I made an assumption. I know there were other women. I just thought you’d brought them to the ranch, too. Your mom was so unconcerned about what we did or didn’t do, I just thought that she had been through this before.” Tears welled in her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. “Please don’t be angry with me, Ben. I’m sorry. Okay? I made an assumption that was wrong. I’m so sorry.”

Ben’s dark expression faded and he sighed heavily. “It was a logical assumption, I guess.” Once again, he pulled her into his arms, wiping away her tears. “I thought you understood. Rey, I’ve never brought anyone here because I knew none of them would have appreciated the place the way I do. Even if they would have, I didn’t care enough about them to want to share this with them.”

He looked around the little clearing before returning his gaze to her. “This ranch is like my sanctuary. I know here I can get away from the world for a while. Rey … sweetheart, I brought you here because I knew you were different, that you  _ would  _ understand what this place means to me and because what I feel for you is so much more than what I felt for them.”

Overcome with relief that she hadn’t irrevocably messed up, Rey burst into tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you, don’t deserve your love. Why do you? I keep doubting you or drawing the wrong conclusions.”

Ben pulled her into his chest, one hand threading through her hair. “Sssh. Of course you do. We deserve each other. Isn’t that what you’ve tried to tell me? I love you. Nothing will change that.”

Soothing kisses and caresses eventually gave way to heat and desire, leading to a reaffirmation of what they meant to each other. After the euphoric bliss faded, Ben drew the blanket more securely around them. “Are you warm enough?”

From her place atop him, Rey chuckled. “You need ask that after what we just did?” Snuggling against him, she added, “Besides, you’re like a furnace.” Suddenly, she yawned. “I’m exhausted.”

Ben laughed softly. “Then sleep for a bit. I could certainly use it.”

Ben’s hands rubbing soothing circles along her back lulled Rey right to sleep.

BR

Ben glanced over at Rey, who stood by Izzy petting her neck, for the hundredth time while he folded and rolled the blanket they had used on the ground, feeling his body respond yet again. They’d made love three times in the last four hours but it obviously wasn’t enough! He was fairly certain he’d never get enough. Sharing that with her had been amazing as he’d said, but the emotional closeness it brought them surpassed the physical. He’d been right to bring her here to the ranch. She loved it as much as he did. Already, he was planning ahead to the next time they could get away from life and return.

As he went to secure their blankets to Goliath’s saddle, he had an idea born from the fact he really didn’t want to be away from Rey, not even just the short distance being on separate horses would bring. Dropping the blanket roll onto the ground, he walked up behind her and encircled her waist, planting a kiss to her temple.

“Ride with me.” When she looked up at him over her shoulder, brows raised, Ben blushed but chuckled. “That’s not what I had in mind. Your attire would make that next to impossible.” He shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious. “I just want you close to me.”

Rey turned in his arms, leaning to the side to eye Goliath, before looking back up at him. “There wouldn’t be much room.”

“There would be if we rode bareback. Izzy could carry Goliath’s saddle easily.”

The smile she bestowed upon him would have made one think it had come directly from the sun itself, setting off little bursts of joy and pleasure in Ben’s chest. “Okay.”

He was probably grinning like an idiot but Ben couldn’t bring himself to care. He simply kissed her before returning to Goliath and set to work divesting the horse of his saddle. Once it was transferred and secured, Ben, again, laced his fingers for Rey to use as a step. As before, lifting her posed no problem.

“Sit a little forward. We can adjust once I’m up there.”

“How  _ are  _ you getting up here? You’re not going to be able to just pull yourself up.”

He had to admit, he hadn’t really thought about that. Chewing the inside corner of his lower lip, Ben searched the clearing for something he could stand on and spied a log he thought would work. Leading Goliath over to it, Ben stepped up onto the fallen tree trunk. One hand braced above the horse’s hip, he reached up with the other and instantly hesitated, heat flooding his face.

“I’m, uh, going to have to put my hand, uh, right there,” Ben stuttered, pointing at the base of Goliath’s mane, right in front of where she currently sat.

Rey looked down, seemed to realize what he was implying, looked at Ben with an impish grin and quipped, “Go ahead. It’s not as if it hasn’t been there before. We just spent the morning touching a lot more intimately than that.”

Giving her his crooked grin, he countered, “And I loved every second of it. I just thought I’d warn you first.”

Gathering the reins into his hand then grabbing the horse’s withers, he pulled himself up with a little hop, planting one knee and swiveling to face front. He  _ may  _ have brushed her with his thumb in the process, just because he could. Once settled, he had Rey scoot back a little so their weight was more evenly distributed. His thighs brushed against hers as Goliath walked to Izzy so they could grab her reins as well, which Rey held on to.

Able to tell by the stiff way she held herself that Rey was slightly uncertain about riding this way, Ben murmured in her ear, “I won’t let you fall.”

To his surprise, she buried her hand in his hair and said against his lips, “Too late. I already have. Hard.” And she kissed him.

Half the ride back, they traded kisses. Sometimes on the lips, other times on the neck, or in Rey’s case since she couldn’t reach his neck, the underside of his jaw. With her back pressed against his chest, their thighs rubbing together, and Goliath’s natural rolling gait having an effect on him he had no hope of hiding, Ben started working out the logistics of making his fantasy a reality. 

Leia met them at the barn, mischief sparkling in her brown eyes. “Ah, so you did decide to come back for lunch. I thought about calling, but I figured it best to just wait and see.”

Ben refused to be embarrassed at the hint his mother was dropping about having guessed what they’d been up to. He wasn’t a child any longer after all, no matter that Rey managed to make him feel like a hormonal teenager at times. Anticipating her being at least a little sore, he helped her off Goliath first, holding her steady when she wobbled.

“I never thought riding would make me so sore. I have muscles screaming I never knew I had.”

Well, that was an opening he just couldn’t pass up. “Yeah, riding can give you quite the workout. It can be exhausting.” He smirked down at her, barely containing his amusement at the wide-eyed look Rey threw him, her cheeks flushed. Dismounting, he took Izzy’s reins from her. Ignoring his mother, Ben gave Rey a wink. “Come on. I’ll show you how to brush them down.” Over his shoulder, he grinned at his mother. “We’ll be up at the house soon.”

“Alright. Rey, when you’re done, I think a nice long soak in a hot bath will do wonders for your sore muscles.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful. Thanks.”

Leia nodded, a knowing look in her eye. “See you soon.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  



	11. I Want You, Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading! Between this one, another fic, and one I want to write, updates may take some time but I hope not. Thanks to my lovely beta for all her hard work. More smut!

**_It’s not going to be easy … We’re going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me … every day._ **

**_\-- Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook_ **

After a quick lunch and some time for Rey to soak her sore muscles, Ben insisted on taking her to the lake, though he neglected to tell her their destination, merely telling her to wear something sensible that she wouldn’t mind messing up. After all, what would be the point of bringing her this far and  _ not  _ show her the lake? In less than half an hour, he pulled into a mostly empty parking area, which was the main reason he liked this particular spot. This time of year, everyone opted for the beaches to swim or the docks to rent boats. Ben, however, preferred this lesser populated area, not because of his status as one might think, but he simply thought it was prettier.

Rey whirled in her seat to face him as he parked, her face alight with awe. “Did you bring me where I think you brought me?”

Unable to smother his amused grin, Ben simply climbed from the car. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

Fifty feet from the parking area and through various pine trees, they reached the shoreline, Rey letting out a gasp of absolute delight. “Oh, my God, Ben!” she breathed. “It’s beautiful!”

Ben, who hadn’t taken his eyes off Rey, nodded and replied just as softly, “I couldn’t agree more.” 

The two words he’d nearly blurted out to her on the way up to the ranch - the two that could bind them together for always - almost escaped, but he managed to bite them back before they did. He didn’t even have a ring to give her! In his opinion, proposing without one was tantamount to saying  _ I haven’t thought it through, but hey, let’s get married anyway and see what happens!  _ That definitely was  _ not  _ the impression he wanted to give Rey, so he swallowed the urge to let the words fly, pushing them back down to be held in his heart until the right time came along.

To their left, rounded rocks just big enough to stand on, no more than a foot tall, pebbled the shoreline, advancing a short distance into the lake. To their right, the rocks gradually grew into boulders big enough to allow five people to lie on them and were almost as tall as a house. Only the occasional person could be seen in either direction.

“The water is so clear! And blue!”

“And cold,” Ben added with an amused grin.

Rey’s head whipped around to him, disbelief shining in her hazel eyes. “No way. As warm as it is out here? It can’t be  _ that  _ cold!”

Lips twitching, Ben shrugged. “See for yourself.”

Leaving his side, Rey knelt at the water’s edge and dipped a hand down to catch a gently rolling wave. Instantly, her hand jerked back. “Damn, that’s cold! How can it be so cold while the air is so warm?”

Laughing softly, Ben pointed around them at the mountains. “You tell me.”

Rey pinned him with a baleful glare. “Watch it, Solo. There’s no need for snarkiness.”

Ben simply grinned down at her … until he noticed the devious light glinting in her eyes, her lips curling into a smile to rival the Grinch at his most cunning. Her cupped hands dipped back into the water, and that was when Ben caught on. Taking a quick measure of what was behind him, he took a step back, his own hands coming up as if to ward her off.

“Now, sweetheart,” he stammered, backing up another step, “I was only joking. You know that.”

He stepped back again, then again. Suddenly, Rey launched in his direction, so Ben did the only thing he could do. He bolted. Somehow, she managed to catch him. Even more miraculously, she had saved enough water in her hands to dribble it down the back collar of his shirt, every muscle in his body seizing instantly. What was more, she stuffed her very cold hands under his shirt and flat against his chest, laughing all the while and raving about how warm he was.

Ben compressed his lips against everything that wanted to fly from his mouth as those icy rivulets trickled down his back, fully aware there  _ were  _ people around. The last thing he needed was the tabloids running with a story about him yelling obscenities at his girlfriend while on a brief hiatus from filming. Speculation regarding the status of their relationship would run rampant, more so than it did already. Mentally counting to twenty, he forced himself to breathe through the shock. When he could think again, he supposed he should be grateful she went north rather than south.

Folding his arms over his chest, effectively trapping her hands in place, Ben looked over his shoulder at Rey and attempted his best puppy-eyed look. “That was cold, sweetheart.” But he couldn’t hold it and grinned. “Pun intended.” Bending his knees, he gave her a kiss.

Draping an arm over Rey’s shoulders, they walked along the shore toward the larger boulders. Rey obviously decided a simple walk along the shore wasn’t enough, so she started nimbly hopping from rock to rock like a damn goat farther out into the lake, dragging Ben with her, who nearly dumped them in the water more than once. 

Laughing as she saved them for the fourth time, she teased, “You can balance perfectly on the side of a rock, but you can’t do it well enough to hop onto one?”

Feigning indignance, Ben spread his hands wide. “I had something to hold on to.”

Clasping his wrists, Rey brought his hands in against her waist, her smile slowly melting away as she slid her own hands into his back pockets. “You have something to hold on to here, too.”

A blazing fire ignited within him, flowing through his veins, heating his gaze as he met her eyes. “And I never plan on letting go,” he murmured, his voice taking on an intimate tone.

Just as he started to bridge the gap between their lips, a young voice rang out from the shore. “Mommy, look! It’s him! Your favorite! He doesn’t look very hot to me! He looks - ”

Whatever the kid was about to say was instantly muffled, leaving behind absolute silence. Heat of a completely different kind flooded Ben and he buried his burning face into the side of Rey’s neck. Her entire body shook and he just knew she was laughing, which, of course, made him blush even harder.

Rey eventually stepped back from him, humor still dancing in her eyes, brilliant smile stretching her lips wide. She motioned to the huge rock next to them that looked as if it had been chiseled off the side of a mountain. “Okay, hot stuff, help me up there.”

Face still prickling from his embarrassment, Ben smirked. “I’ll help you alright. Right into the lake.”

Spurred on by a bit of devilishness of his own, he promptly spun Rey around, wrapped his arms around her middle and lifted, dangling her over the side of the boulder they stood on. If he were to drop her, she’d land feet first right in about five feet of water.

“Ben!” Rey shrieked and laughed. “You wouldn’t dare!”

In her ear, Ben countered softly, “I wouldn’t? You don’t have your camera to save you this time.” He took a measured step closer to the edge of the rock.

Still laughing, Rey demanded, “Ben, put me down! On the rock! Put me down on the rock! I don’t trust your balance.”

Ben teased her by waiting a few moments before stepping away from the boulder’s edge and set Rey back on her feet. Leaning in, he gave her a quick kiss. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have let you go.” 

He laced his fingers together as he did when they went riding. After helping her scramble onto the large, flat rock, he pulled himself up to join her. From there, they had a great view and could see the smooth, mirror-like surface of the water for quite a distance, something Rey seemed to appreciate very much. Ben had to admit, he had more fun simply watching Rey enjoy herself. It still boggled his mind how she could find such overwhelming pleasure in the simplest of things. It was a reminder for him to try to do the same. With her, it was incredibly easy. 

Once they returned to the shore, they continued walking a little longer. Rey sniffed the air and asked, “Is that … butterscotch … that I smell?”

“It is. Hang on.” Ben scanned the pine trees around them before pulling her to one in particular, leaning toward its trunk. “Smell it.” He chuckled at Rey’s expression. Clearly, she thought he’d lost his mind. “I’m serious. Smell it.”

Dubious expression in place, Rey leaned forward and sniffed the tree trunk. She raised an awestruck expression to him. “That butterscotch scent is coming from a  _ tree _ ?”

Nodding, Ben grinned down at her. “It is. This is a Jeffrey pine. I had to look it up when I first smelled it. I couldn’t believe it, either.”

Rey leaned in for another whiff. “That’s just … amazing!” She turned and wrapped him in her arms, her eyes and smile softening as she met his. “This is another one of your special places, isn’t it?”

Heart racing a mile a minute and the lump in his throat threatening to cut off his air supply, Ben nodded. “It is. Rey, will you - ” 

Alarmed at what had almost slipped out, he slid a hand into Rey’s hair and kissed her, his other arm holding her tightly against him. His lips gently moving over hers nonverbally expressed what he refused to speak aloud, easing the pressure in his chest from swallowing the words yet again. Ben felt he could kiss Rey forever, just like this, and let out a small sound of contentment.

Slowly, the kiss faded to a mere press of lips before ceasing entirely. Eyes still closed, Ben pressed his forehead to hers, their breaths mingling, not willing to let the moment end.  _ Marry me.  _ At Rey’s gasp, his eyes flew open to see her staring at him with widened eyes.

“Are you serious?”

Was he serious? Serious about what? Fuck, had he spoken his thought out loud? If Rey’s shocked expression was anything to go by, then, yes, he had. Shit! Now what? The truth. He had to be honest with her.

“I know it seems outrageous, but yes, I do want that. More than anything. If you don’t, don’t lie to ‘protect me’. I’m not even saying it would have to be right away. I just - ”

Rey shushed his rambling with a gentle finger against his lips, replacing it with her own for a quick, chaste kiss. Then, she beamed up at him, her eyes sparkling with joy. “Yes. I want to. Whenever. I don’t care.”

Unable to believe his ears, Ben stared down at her, dumbstruck. He struggled to speak. “You … you … what?”

Rey slid her hands from around him to skim them up his chest and to lock at the back of his neck. Tilting her head to the side, she chuckled. “Why are you so shocked? I love you.”

“I just … I didn’t think you’d want to. I figured you’d think it was way too early. I mean, we haven’t exactly been together that long, after all.”

Rey actually let out a full laugh. “Ben, what part of our relationship has followed the typical timeline?”

“True.” Ben ran a hand through his hair, rather frustrated with himself. “I don’t even have a damn ring for you. I told myself I wouldn’t say a word until I did. I shouldn’t have. I managed to keep silent thus far, so I should have been able to. It just slipped out. And now, you’re probably questioning my sincerity since I was completely unprepared and - ”

Rey’s hand cut off his babbling. “Ben? Shut up. I don’t need a ring. You’ve already said how much you wanted it. That’s all I need.”

Elation surged through Ben, quickening his heart and his breath. Laughing, he picked Rey up and spun her in place a moment before letting her slide down until their lips met in a brief, heated kiss.

“I love you, Rey,” he whispered against her lips as he set her back onto her feet. “I want to see  _ my  _ ring on your finger. I want the world to know that you’re mine.” Realizing how that sounded, Ben quickly went on. “Figuratively. I would never - could never - think of you as a possession.”

“I know. So, you don’t want to hide it? If I go back wearing a ring, your mother, as observant as she seems to be, will spot it instantly. Not to mention returning to the set.”

“No, I don’t want to hide it. If you do, though, we’ll skip the ring. It’s your choice.”

Grinning, Rey shook her head. “I don’t want to hide it, either. I want the world to know  _ you’re  _ off the market.”

His broad grin softening into a tender one reserved for her alone, Ben tucked a lock of hair behind Rey’s ear, caressing her cheek with his thumb afterward. “I think I have been the moment you stepped onto the set.” He skimmed the pad of his thumb over her lower lip. “Let’s get that ring. I know the perfect place.”

As Ben led Rey back to his car, she stated in no uncertain terms, “I’m a simple girl, Ben. I don’t need or want anything extravagant. I don’t want to be too afraid to wear it.”

“Simple elegance. Got it. It’s your ring, though, sweetheart. Pick whatever you want. If she doesn’t have anything you like, we’ll find a way to get you what you do.”

After a short drive, Ben bypassed the tourist section of town and proceeded to the side that catered to the locals. Ben had wandered through that side of town many times over the years, so his presence tended not to draw enamored crowds, though the people didn’t ignore him, either. They often greeted him with a simple  _ Hello  _ or  _ Nice to see you again _ and went about their business.

Pulling up to the smallish jewelry shop, Ben checked to see if Rey had changed her mind. He didn’t want her to go through with getting a ring if she didn’t want it. She beamed at him, love and excitement shining in her eyes. Unable to help himself, he leaned over and kissed her.

“Not that I mind being kissed, but what was that for?” she asked once he’d pulled back.

Ben, now a bit self-conscious, glanced down the street. “Just making sure you still were okay with this. That you still wanted to do this.”

A gentle pressure at his chin coaxed his gaze back to her. “I do, Ben. I really do. And I look forward to saying those words to make it official.”

Just like that, Ben’s insecurity vanished, leaving behind profound relief. Full smile back in place, Ben climbed out of the car with a bit of a warning to Rey. “Don’t let Maz intimidate you. She’s tiny but still a handful. It’s almost eerie how she sometimes just knows things. She and my mother have known each other for several years.”

Upon entering, a tiny woman with large glasses greeted them brightly. “Ben! Long time no see! How have you been?”

“Hi, Maz. I’ve been doing well. You should come see Mom, though.”

“I will do that.” Maz walked out from behind the counter, hugged Ben around the middle - it was all she could reach - then turned to Rey. “And this must be her. Your mother was right. She’s beautiful.” Maz took Rey’s hand. “Come, dear, let’s find what you’re looking for. Simple but elegant, am I right?”

Ben chuckled softly at Rey’s flustered look. “I did warn you.”

He leant his silent support as Rey studied a display of rings. She nibbled her bottom lip and looked up at him anxiously. “I don’t know, Ben. Everything is just … so much. I mean, the most expensive thing I own is my car and it isn’t worth much. I can’t imagine putting the monetary equivalent or more on my finger.”

Ben pulled Rey away from the counter for a little privacy. “Sweetheart, don’t worry about that. Don’t make a choice based on money. Please, don’t do that. Promise me that you won’t let price color your judgment.”

With a little sigh, Rey nodded. “Alright. I’ll try.”

“Good enough.” A teasing light entered Ben’s eyes. “You deserve spoiling. I look forward to doing just that.”

Ben patiently waited while Rey perused the selection Maz had indicated Rey may like best, casually leaning his elbows on the glass top. Several rings had caught his eye, ones he likely would have chosen if he had done this on his own. Rey didn’t seem to share his opinion on them as she skimmed right over each one he liked. Perhaps his slip of the tongue was the best thing, after all.

“What about that one?”

Ben fell out of his head and looked down at the one Rey had indicated. It was simple and elegant, just as Rey preferred. Maz spoke up before he could.

“Oh, the Dyad ring. Good choice.” She pulled out an array of choices in the same design. “I believe it’s called Dyad because the stones are meant to represent day and night. Light and dark, if you will. To exist, one must have the other.”

She plucked the ring from its velvet box. “The round stone is a champagne diamond to symbolize the sun or light. The combination bezel and prong setting will keep the stone very secure. For night or dark, we have this half-moon cut white sapphire nestled against it. It, too, has a similar setting as you can see. This particular one was made with rose gold. I also have it in white gold, platinum, and yellow gold.”

“I like the rose gold,” Rey said, after looking over the others. “The sapphire blends too much with the white metals and the diamond blends with the yellow.”

Maz put away the others, then held out the rose gold version. “Try it on. See how it looks and feels.”

No one was putting that ring on her finger but him. Ben plucked it from Maz’s grasp and positioned it at Rey’s fingertip. Heart pounding, he held his breath, and flicked his gaze up to meet Rey’s. With a hard swallow and slightly shaking hands, he slid the ring into place, lingering there, caressing it with his thumb. It took a tremendous effort, but he managed to pull his eyes from Rey’s to look down at her hand. Damn, it looked good sitting there! It looked … right.

Rey wiggled her finger, causing the light to sparkle off the stones beautifully. “It’s perfect,” she breathed.

Ben nodded. “I agree. It’s absolutely perfect.” He turned to Maz. “This is the one.”

Maz clapped her tiny hands. “Of course it is. Okay, off you go, then.”

Rey’s head whipped around to the petite woman, eyes wide, then up at Ben. “Wait. What?”

Not about to walk out of there without giving the woman  _ something _ , Ben retrieved his wallet from his back pocket. “Maz, no. I’m not letting you do that.”

Maz shoved his hand away. “Of course you are. I insist.” She shook her finger at him playfully. “Don’t think I don’t realize how much business you’ve sent my way, Benjamin Solo. This is the least I could do. Consider it a congratulations gift, if you must.”

Busted! Heat prickled across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. All he’d done was mention her shop to one or two people who wanted something different and wanted some place that would offer a bit of privacy.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he admitted, “I may have mentioned you once or twice.”

Maz nodded knowingly. “Uh huh. That once or twice has blossomed into a lot more. I’ve been looking for a way to repay you for that and now I’ve found it. Now, shoo. Take your lady to dinner and celebrate.”

Ben still didn’t feel right about it. While the cost of the ring was on the low end of the spectrum - yes, he had noticed that and would be saying something to Rey about it - it was still high enough to make him squirm at the idea of simply walking out without paying. He just couldn’t do it.

“Maz - ”

The diminutive shop owner let out a sound of mild irritation and rolled her eyes, motioning with her hand for him to hand over his credit card. “Benjamin, you are too humble and scrupulous for your own good.” She walked off mumbling, “Can’t even take a gift.”

Hearing a snicker, Ben glanced down at Rey, and smiled sheepishly. “I just couldn’t.”

She reached up with her left hand and lovingly patted his cheek. “I know. It’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”

Ben leaned into the touch a moment before cupping her hand and tenderly placing a kiss against her palm. “That’s one of the many reasons why I love  _ you _ . You understand me in ways no one else does.” 

All of a sudden, the banked fire from out on the rock roared back to life, and Ben, helpless against it, began nipping and kissing his way over the heel of her hand, past the pulse point in her wrist, to the sensitive skin of her inner arm. For a moment, everything but Rey’s shortened breaths and barely audible moan faded into the background. If he thought he could get away with it, he’d have taken Rey right there on the counter. That mental image left him cursing and searching for Maz, wondering what was taking so damn long. He wanted out of there. Now. After darting another quick glance around them, he wrapped his arms around Rey’s hips and lifting, brought her flush against him, moaning deeply at the simultaneously sweet yet torturous contact.

“Fuck, I want you so much it hurts,” he said softly, his voice husky with need. In response, Rey rolled her hips against his, sending little shockwaves of desire all throughout his body, his breathing quickening. “Oh, God. Sweetheart, would you be opposed to finishing this in the car? I don’t think I can wait until we get back to the house.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea.” Her hips rolled against his again. “God, I want you inside me so badly.”

“Oh, fuck, sweetheart.” 

By sheer force of will, he pulled himself away from the edge her confession had sent him hurtling toward. Distance. He needed distance between them if he was going to make it long enough to get to the spot he had in mind. Very deliberately, Ben set her back on her feet and stepped away Where the hell was Maz?

As if he’d summoned her, Maz came rushing out from the back. “Sorry to keep you waiting. The machine decided to act up, so it took longer than it should have.”

Ben didn’t bother responding. He simply returned his card to his wallet, stuffed it back into his pocket, and, taking Rey’s hand, led her out to the car. As if he wasn’t already on the verge of simply making love to her right then, as he drove, her hand found its way onto his thigh, sliding farther and farther upward, trailing fire as it went. Because he drove a manual, all he could do was grit his teeth and clench the gearshift until his knuckles were white.

Coming up to the turnoff he wanted, Ben headed out of town, pushing the speed limit a little more than he probably should have. His awareness tunneled to Rey’s hand and to the dirt road he needed to find. The touch of her hand suddenly vanished, and Ben spared a glance in her direction, finding her quickly removing her shoes. If he didn’t feel so fucking needy himself, he’d have made a smart-ass comment. He glanced at the road ahead, then back to Rey, and nearly slammed on the brakes, his cock reminding him precisely how badly it needed to be surrounded by her sweet heat. As if he needed the reminder. One of her hands was in the process of sliding her zipper down, while the other was attempting to shove her jeans from her hips.

There! On the left! Ben whipped the car onto the road, the tires spitting up a bunch of dust, drove about a hundred yards into the trees and took another small road to the left, coming to an abrupt halt at the end. Even as he smacked the shut-off button and set the e-brake, Ben adjusted his seat to be as far from the steering wheel as possible and reclined as far back as it would go. His shoes easily disappeared into the back seat, followed quickly by his shirt. His jeans and boxer briefs, on the other hand, took more effort, a growl of frustration rumbling in his chest.

Finally having dispensed with the last bit of his clothing, Ben reached for Rey, lips meeting lips greedily, tongues dueling fiercely, as he helped her past the gearshift to straddle him, little mewling sounds coming from her as he positioned her as best he could. An obscenely loud, guttural moan escaped his lips as - oh, fuck, yes - she slammed her hips down onto him, swallowing him whole. Not enough! Not  _ nearly  _ enough! Reduced to nothing but carnal pleasure and the desperate need for release, he let out another growl as his hips pistoned into her, creating a frenzied rhythm, very aware he’d be lucky to last longer than a few seconds.

Nearly unbearable tension coiled tighter inside, stealing his breath. Above him, her hands braced against his seat, Rey suddenly threw her head back, a look of absolute bliss on her face, back arching, her hips colliding with his a final time. Her inner walls squeezed him tightly. With a primal shout that left little doubt of the cause, she found her release, her inner walls pulsing around him. An animalistic shout of his own escaping his throat, Ben came - hard - spilling himself into her with every deep thrust, his fingers digging into Rey’s hips where he held her against him. Even after she’d milked him dry, his orgasm refused to relinquish him, incredible pleasure still shooting through him until he simply couldn’t take any more and fell deeper into his seat, boneless and blissed-out from the huge endorphin dump into his system. Only vaguely was he aware of Rey’s cheek pressed against his.

Hot, sweaty, and laboring to draw in enough air, Ben couldn’t lift a finger for what seemed like forever. Like fog burning away under the strength of the sun, the haze that encompassed his brain slowly cleared under time’s incessant passing. Familiar doubts and insecurities began to settle in. What they’d just done could in no way be described using the tender phrase of  _ making love _ . No, it had been rough, raw, carnal.  _ Fucking, _ pure and simple. What if it had put Rey off? What if she changed her mind and didn’t want to marry him? What if he’d scared her? Oh, God, what if he’d  _ hurt _ her?

His spiraling thoughts came to a grinding halt at the touch of her lips against his temple, one hand finding its way into his damp hair. Her breath fluttered against his ear as she teased, her words slightly slurred, “I’m so damn glad your car is roomy. You do realize that we’re going to have to repeat this, don’t you? Because I’ll never be able to look at this car again and not remember.”

Relieved laughter bubbled up from his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, his hands splaying over her back, Ben replied, “All you have to do is tell me when. I’ll admit, I was a little worried there for a moment.”

Her lips trailed down to his earlobe, kissing just behind it. “I know. Anxiety was rolling off you in waves. So, I hope I’ve put your mind at ease, though I don’t know why you were so worried in the first place.”

If Ben hadn’t been so utterly spent, Rey’s lips at that sensitive spot behind his ear would have turned him on in an instant. As it was, all he felt was the weakest of tingles. “You have. I guess I was worried because, well, let’s face it, this time was nothing like the others this morning. Yes, there was urgency then, too, but it was still different. This was … ”

Surprisingly, Rey chuckled. “Fucking in every sense of the word? Nothing romantic about it? Allow me to let you in on a little secret, Ben. Sometimes, that’s exactly what a girl wants or needs.” She planted a light kiss on his lips. “Now, help me back to my seat. I think I’m going to need another long bath.”

The amusement of hearing that particular word pass Rey’s lips was eclipsed by fear brought on by the rest of her statement. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you? Shit, I probably did. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Rey’s light-hearted expression turned fierce. “Oh, no, you don’t. Don’t you dare feel guilty. I don’t regret a second of it. As I said, I very much want to do it again sometime. I liked feeling wild and out of control and liked  _ you  _ that way even more. So, no more guilt. Or I’m going to drag you into the backseat and show you just how much I liked it.”

Again, his worry melted away, cheekiness filling the void. “Don’t threaten me with a good time. As tempting as that sounds, it’s just not happening right now. You’ve completely destroyed me.”

Rey grinned and kissed him again. “Good.”

Ben winced when she did as he helped her back across to her seat. She  _ had  _ been in a somewhat awkward position for a while. She certainly deserved another long muscle-relaxing soak. As he reached behind him for his clothes, a loud rumble sounded in the relative silence. He grinned when Rey slapped a hand over her stomach. His apparently agreed with hers, making known its dissatisfaction at being empty. Clothing his torso was easy. Dressing his lower half proved to be nearly as tricky as it had been to get it  _ un _ dressed. Eventually, he managed to get himself covered and had to go fishing for his shoes.

With a grin, Ben glanced Rey’s way. “I think dinner is in order. Do you have a preference?”

“Not really. What’s around here?”

As he pulled on his shoes, Ben listed off the various restaurants available. “There’s Mexican, the typical steakhouse, Italian, Chinese. There’s also your typical diner-type places. So, what sounds good?”

“I haven’t had Chinese in ages. Orange chicken is my favorite.”

With a nod, Ben readjusted his seat and started the car. “Chinese it is, then. I’m partial to sweet and sour chicken, myself.” He grinned sheepishly. “Just don’t ask me to use chopsticks. I never figured them out.”

Rey looked at him as if he’d said the craziest thing. “Seriously? You’re coordinated enough to run through an extended and very complicated fight scene, but can’t handle chopsticks?”

Ben shrugged as he put the car into reverse and began backing down the short dirt-packed drive. “Not dexterous enough, I guess.”

Rey snorted at that. “Oh, please. Your fingers are plenty dexterous.”

Again, if he hadn’t just had the orgasm of the century, her claim would have been enough to turn him on. Instead, he felt smug satisfaction. Reaching the dirt road he’d turned off of, Ben pointed them toward the paved road that took them back to town.

“Good to know. I guess I just need a teacher.”

“I’ll teach you.” Both their stomachs rumbled loudly, making Rey laugh. “Maybe when we’re not so hungry, though.”

BR

As Ben drove them back toward home - Will having called and asked Ben to be back at the studio on Monday - Rey relaxed in her seat and contemplated everything she had just experienced. The highlight, of course, was Ben’s impromptu proposal. She grinned at the memory, her eyes falling to the ring twinkling in the sun. She wondered which of them was more surprised. She’d known he’d wanted to say something since that stop on the way up; she’d seen it in his eyes. She’d never expected  _ that _ , however. Her and Ben’s mad dash from the store for some privacy came to mind, sending heat into her cheeks.  _ Making love _ to Ben that morning had been amazing, everything she’d imagined and more.  _ Fucking  _ Ben that afternoon had sent her to another plane of existence! Inhaling deeply, she could still detect the musky scent of sweat and sex. She hadn’t lied when she’d told Ben she wanted to do it again. She’d suddenly developed a kink for car sex.

Ben’s hand covered hers, his thumb absently toying with the ring. He’d done so several times now, and she wondered if it was his way of confirming to himself that, yes, everything had actually happened. She wondered if he even realized he did it. Leaning her head against the window, her thoughts turned back to the day before. Just as she’d known would happen, Leia had noticed the ring almost right away, hugging them both, despite Ben trying to talk to Will. She’d even insisted on helping with the wedding once a date was set, but told them to take their time. The acceptance she felt by Ben’s family and friends nearly overwhelmed her even now. She’d expected reservation, disdain, if not outright hostility. Leia had even given her a shoulder to cry on when she had divulged a little of how she’d grown up, when she’d spoken of her one friend Kaydel Connix, whom Rey had lost track of when the girl had moved away, Rey to move also not long after.

“Rey? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Rey exhaled a laugh. Leave it to Ben to sense her mood shift. Looking over at him, she melted at his concerned expression, worry in his eyes. Her Ben was quite the worrier. Taking his hand, she lifted its palm to her lips and placed a kiss there.

“Nothing. Honestly. I was just thinking about your family. They weren’t what I was expecting.”

Ben stayed silent a moment, his attention bouncing between her and the road. “You didn’t think they’d accept you, did you? You didn’t even think they’d  _ like  _ you.”

“Not really, no. I mean, I know what you said, but actually seeing it …  _ feeling  _ it … is something else entirely.”

“Well, they had no choice. You’re irresistible. At least,  _ I  _ can’t resist you. Not that I want to.” Another beat of silence passed before he spoke again. “I wish you were staying with me tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you’re not. I’m just going to miss waking up in the middle of the night and being able to reach out and touch you. I’m going to miss hearing your soft breathing.”

“I’m going to miss you, too. I just haven’t seen or talked to Rose in so long. There’s so much I want to talk to her about.”

“As I said, I understand.”

“Tomorrow night, though?”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

BR

“Rose?” Rey called into the seemingly empty apartment.

Rose came darting down the hallway and engulfed Rey in a hug. “Hey! You’re back! Welcome back! How did it go? How was wherever you went to film out of the country? You have to tell me everything!”

Rey laughed, having missed her friend’s enthusiasm. “I plan to. Come on, I need to unpack and do some laundry. Before I tell you any of  _ my  _ story, tell me yours. What happened to that Poe guy? Ben told me you and Finn have hooked up.”

Rose shrugged. “Meh. Poe and I were heading for a split anyway. I got tired of his arrogance.  _ He  _ got tired of not being the center of attention. He wasn’t too fond of all the paparazzi focus on me, the roommate of the woman dating Hollywood superstar Ben Solo.” Again, she shrugged. “Finn is a sweetheart, though, and, damn, the man can cook.”

Laughing, Rey led her friend back down the hallway to her bedroom. “I know, right? Well, all I’ve had are his nachos but still. I’m glad it’s working out for you. I had the idea that you two should meet. Ben completely agreed. We would have found a way for that to happen sooner or later.”

“Okay, enough about Finn and me. What about you and Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome? Can you say what countries you visited?” Rose plopped onto Rey’s bed. “Tell me! Tell me!”

Still laughing, Rey set her camera case on her desk, then dropped her bag onto her bed. She heard a gasp, Rose bolting upright. Too late, Rey realized what her friend had seen. Not that she had planned to keep it from Rose. She’d just wanted to get to that in her own sweet time.

Rose caught Rey’s hand, examining the ring with widened almond-shaped eyes. “Is this what I think it is?”

Suitcase forgotten, Rey nodded, beaming. “He asked me yesterday. Or, rather, the words kind of slipped out yesterday, but he admitted he’d been holding them back.”

“Okay, forget everything else.  _ This  _ I want to hear about. Leave nothing out. Obviously, I know the  _ what _ , the  _ who _ , and the  _ why _ . Fill in the  _ when _ and the  _ how _ .”

This right here was why Rey had insisted on staying at her place. She didn’t get to participate in  _ girl-talk _ much and had very much wanted to about this. She almost felt like a teen with her first crush, divulging all her secrets to her girlfriend, but Rey didn’t mind the feeling at all. So, she launched into the story, starting with Ben’s misplaced guilt and how it led to Rey planning and plotting just how she would convince him to take that final step. 

Grinning from ear to ear, Rey bit her lip and nodded. “Oh, God, Rose, it was beautiful and perfect and amazing! Each time better than the one before it!”

Rose’s eyes widened at that revelation, her brows rising. “ _ Each  _ time? Do I dare ask just how many times there were?”

As nonchalantly as possible, Rey shrugged. “Three.” She gave her friend a sideways glance and added, “In four hours.”

“Three … ? In four … ? Damn, that’s some awesome recovery time! So, come on, what happened next? You’re supposed to be telling me about that little bauble on your finger.”

“I’m getting there.” 

Here, Rey took a moment to describe Ben’s parents and family, of how much she’d felt welcomed by them. She told Rose of her discovery that his parents had even bought prints of her photographs and of Leia’s praise of her skills. She admitted to having been worried about not knowing how to relate to them, but found them, Leia especially, to be rather easy to talk to, saying Ben was like his mother in that regard.

Catching Rose’s pointed glances at her ring, Rey moved the story along to the lake. They shared a laugh at Ben’s playfulness, as well as his apparent clumsiness. Then, she reached  _ the moment _ .

“But you should have seen his face when he realized he’d actually spoken them instead of just thinking them. He started babbling so much I had to shut him up.”

“Obviously, you said yes.”

“Of course!” Rey closed her eyes and sighed in utter bliss. “I always thought I wanted the typical down-on-one-knee kind of proposal, but really, the way it happened, after such a sweet kiss, it was just … perfect! It couldn’t have been any better!”

Rose shrugged. “Meh. The on-one-knee proposal is so cliché. Yours and Ben’s relationship has been nothing but unconventional. It makes sense the proposal would be, too.”

Rey nodded, still grinning, and chewed her bottom lip as she glanced over at her friend. Should she divulge what happened after? That moment had been powerful, nothing but the satiation of lust, really, but it was a lust born of love, wasn’t it? That’s what she preferred to think, at any rate. She buried her face in her hands, feeling heat burn her face at the remembered frenzy and divulged the simple fact that they’d celebrated in Ben’s car after having driven to a part of Ben’s uncle’s property.

“Oh my God, Rose! It was  _ beyond  _ amazing! It was like … raw energy that needed to escape.”

Rose smirked and quipped, “And escape it did, from the sounds of it.”

Her elbows tucked against herself, Rey leaned forward, muttering, “You could say that again. The orgasm of the damn century.” 

At Rose’s gleeful giggle, Rey straightened, determined to move the subject away from that private moment. As she unpacked her bag, Rey finished discussing the weekend and moved on to the events in Belize and Morocco. Rose, of course, cringed upon hearing the torture Rey had been subjected to but cooed at the idea of Ben holding her all night, at his crying at feeling helpless to do anything for her, but most especially at his cofession of loving her. She threw her head back and laughed over the whole April-ending up-in-the-river thing. Though angry Rey had lost her job over it, she giggled over the fact that Ben had asked her to ‘work for him’.

Rose gasped when Rey told her what happened in Morocco. “Oh, poor guy. Dehydration and heat exhaustion is  _ nothing  _ to mess around with. I’ve experienced it and never want to do it again. I’m glad they were able to take care of him. That stuff can be scary. I hope the wardrobe department got an earful for their idiotic costume design.”

“The medical doctor/paramedic said he was going to do some yelling and I told him to give them hell from me, too.” Remembering the sight of Ben lying on the bed with the IV stuck in his hand brought back the fear she’d felt, and she had to pause to take a deep breath, reminding herself Ben was fine. 

“God, Rose, seeing him like that … it scared me. I knew something had happened; I felt it. He was so still and pale, more so than normal. One thing I’ve learned, when Ben’s in character, he’s literally  _ in  _ character and never complains. He gives it everything he’s got. So, yeah, seeing him lying there, still as death almost, it freaked me out..”

“He’s fine, now, though. Right?”

Rey picked up her dirty clothes hamper, now brimming with laundry after the addition of her travel clothes. “Oh, yeah.” She let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. “He was up and back at it an hour and a half later.” She let out a snort and a giggle. “Everyone kept telling him to drink water after that. It annoyed him, so he always made a big production out of it just to get them to hush.”

In the living room, Rey set the hamper down, grabbed her purse and set it on top. From the kitchen, she retrieved the detergent. “Come down with me?”

“Of course.”

Rey hated going down into the basement alone. The laundry room was dreary and stifling, with poor lighting. 

They walked down in silence. After a quick inspection of the room and anyone in the dim hallway to overhear, Rose asked, “So, when’s the big day?”

Rey chose a random washer and dumped her clothes in. She never bothered to separate them out, too used to having to consolidate to save money. Besides, she never had any trouble with colors bleeding. She shrugged in response to Rose’s question.

“We haven’t really talked about when.” She looked over at her friend and laughed. “Like everything else with us, it’ll probably be spontaneous. A let’s-just-do-it kind of thing.”

Rose laughed with a conceding nod of her head. “You’re probably right about that.”

As they headed back to their apartment, Rey’s phone chirped. Thinking it was Ben, she eagerly pulled it from her purse. She was wrong.

_ I see you’ve finally returned. Yes, I’ve been keeping tabs on you. What, did you think I forgot about you? Of course, I haven’t. Now, the whole world knows what kind of whore you are, but I’ll forgive you when you come crawling back. See you soon. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Just thought I needed to update this one. Just know I'm currently writing at least 2 others so I may not update again for a bit. No moodboard for now.

**_One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone._ **

**_\---- Shannon L. Alder_ **

“Rey?” 

Rey inhaled a bracing breath and started to put her phone back. “It’s no one. Wrong number.”

With startling speed, Rose snatched the phone, her eyes widening as she read the message. Grabbing Rey by her wrist, the shorter girl marched Rey straight up to their apartment, still clutching the phone. Once behind their door, she faced her friend, waving the phone to indicate the message.

“This isn’t  _ nothing _ . You need to tell Ben about this.”

Irritated, Rey attempted to reclaim her cell. “No, I don’t. What would be the point? What would he do except worry all night? He needs to be well-rested for tomorrow. Besides, I’ve decided to quit letting that bastard,” here she pointed to her phone, “control me. I’m not running anymore. I’m tired of being the damsel in distress, tired of running to someone else to solve my problems.”

Rose’s expression turned sympathetic. “I understand what you’re saying, but going to Ben with this isn’t running to him. It’s sharing the burden with him, something I know he’d want.” The phone chirped again. Rose took one look at the sender, then tossed it to Rey. “It’s Ben. What are you going to do?”

Rey caught her cell, staring at the little text bubble with Ben’s name, biting her lip, and agonizing over the decision. What should she do? If she stayed silent and he somehow discovered it later, he’d probably be hurt, considering how insecure and anxious he could get at times. That was the last thing she wanted, but as she told Rose, she didn’t want to go running to Ben every time something happened, either. She wanted to stand on her own two feet. Ben deserved someone who could do that. Another text popped up from him, this one in all caps. Her phone rang instantly after.

Plastering a smile on her face and injecting warmth into her voice, Rey answered. “Hey, you. Miss me already?”

“What’s happened? Don’t tell me  _ nothing _ , either. I have this wild feeling that something has. It’s screaming at me, actually. Talk to me.”

Rey let out a little sigh. “I just got a text from our not-so-friendly, unneighborly jerk, is all.”

“What did he say?”

His fury came through loud and clear. She could easily picture Ben gripping his steering wheel tightly enough to leave deeper finger indentations than it came with from the factory. “Ben - ”

“ _ What  _ did he say, Rey?”

She really hadn’t wanted to go into all of this, but he wasn’t leaving her much choice. “Does it really matter? What can you do? I don’t want you to spend your night worrying over something you can’t help. You need your rest for tomorrow.”

“Now, who’s pulling away?”

Rey rubbed her fingertips over her forehead, hoping to alleviate the ache that had developed. “I’m not, Ben. I just don’t see the point in going into the details when nothing can be done about it.”

“You don’t see the point? How about just letting me be there for you? Is that not point enough? But, hey, if you don’t need me, then, fine.”

Rey winced at the pain she heard in Ben’s voice, realizing something she should have known all along. Famous Ben Solo, U.S. Marine, had, for whatever reason, a deep-seated need to be needed. 

Softening her voice, Rey turned her back on Rose and let her eyes drift shut. “I need you, Ben. I  _ do  _ need you. I just didn’t want you getting upset, not when you have to get back into film mode, when you have to be clear-headed enough to focus.”

There was a pause and then Ben’s voice came through the line just as softly as hers. “I can appreciate the sentiment, but, sweetheart, I’d rather know. I’d rather be there to support you so you don’t go through it alone because you’re  _ not  _ anymore.  _ You’re not alone _ .”

Impending tears stung Rey’s eyes. Gigi’s words from Morocco popped into Rey’s mind.  _ Ben loves you. He probably fears losing you.  _ She wiped away a tear that escaped her control. “Neither are you, Ben. You never will be again. Come over. Stay with me tonight.”

“Are you sure? I know you wanted to spend some time with Rose. Would she be alright with me being there?”

Rey hadn’t even thought about whether Rose would object. Glancing over her shoulder, her expression questioning, she found her friend nodding enthusiastically and giving her a thumbs up signal. She mouthed the words  _ Thank you  _ before turning her back again.

“I’m sure. Rose doesn’t mind.”

“Then, I’ll be there within an hour.”

“Okay. See you soon, then.” Rey disconnected the call, then turned to Rose. “Thanks for letting him stay.”

Rose waved away Rey’s gratitude. “Rey, this is your place, too. Besides, it sounded as if he needed to be here. Help me do a little clean-up before he gets here, though.”

Rey looked around the spotless room, brows raised. “What is there to clean up? He’s not a neat freak. I promise.” Realizing how that sounded, she rushed to add, “Not that his place is messy or anything. I’m just saying don’t freak out over it. Oh, and another thing. Try not to treat him like a celebrity.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve gotten that out of my system. He’s just Ben Solo, my roommate and friend’s fiancé.”

Giddiness bubbled up inside Rey and she giggled. “God, I still can’t believe that happened!” She actually twirled around with her arms held out like the stereotypical Disney princess in love. “I’m so glad you’re going to get to know the real Ben. He’s just so incredibly sweet, and adorable, and fun, and … built. I mean, seriously, Rose, the muscles!”

Rose rolled her eyes but grinned. “Yeah, yeah. So I’ve heard. I do look forward to getting to know him beyond his famous name. Of course, Finn’s told me a little about him, but that’s a friend’s perspective. Nothing beats actually being around the person in question.”

As Rose checked the fridge to be certain they had something worth eating for dinner, Rey disappeared into her bedroom, straightening the comforter from when she and Rose had sat on it earlier. Despite telling her friend not to fuss, Rey organized the items on her dresser, made certain she hadn’t left any clothing on the floor, then headed for the bathroom to actually clean that room. Checking the time, she and Rose headed for the basement to put the laundry into a dryer.

“So, what should we have for dinner?”

A wicked grin stretched Rey’s lips wide. “Something that will require chopsticks.” At her friend’s raised eyebrows, Rey laughed. “I told him I’d teach him how to use them. Yesterday was out since we were too hungry to bother with it. Nothing too complicated, though.”

Rose grinned. “I have an idea, then. Quick question. Is he allergic to anything? I’d hate to make something that he can’t eat.”

That gave Rey pause. All this time, that was one thing that never seemed to come up in conversation. “To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t  _ think  _ so. He’s never said, let’s put it that way.”

“I guess we’ll find out, then. I’ll keep it fairly basic, just in case.”

“Thanks for doing this, Rose. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, I don’t mind at all. It’ll be a bit fun to see how quickly he learns.”

Rey snorted. “It may take a while. He claims he’s just not dexterous enough, but believe me, he is.”

Rose wrinkled her nose. “And  _ that  _ borders on TMI, despite the claims I made earlier to want all the details.”

“Hey, why don’t you invite Finn over for dinner?”

“I would but he’s got some big group coming in today, some family thing or something, that he needs to be present for.”

“Oh. That’s too bad. Well, hopefully, you don’t end up feeling like a third wheel tonight. It won’t be intentional.”

Rose shrugged, seemingly unconcerned at all. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just glad you’re so happy. You certainly deserve to be.”

Blushing but beaming, Rey responded. “I am happy. Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure it’s real because it all feels like a dream! I feel like I’ll open my eyes one day and it’ll all have disappeared with a  _ poof _ .” Her brow furrowed, her lips contorting into a frown. “I just wish the nightmare that is my ex would simply go  _ poof _ .”

Rose clasped Rey’s hand in a show of support. “He will. I have no doubt about that. As for the rest, well, believe it, Rey. You’re not dreaming.”

Forty-five minutes later, a knock came at the door, Ben’s muffled voice coming from the other side. Nervousness at having him there, seeing him after their little spat - if one could even call it that - and knowing he would be staying the night, set her heart to beating faster than normal, her palms turning sweaty. Chastising herself for it, Rey answered the knock.

Seeing him standing at her doorstep, looking a little uncertain himself, melted away all of her nerves. Beaming, Rey took his hand and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

Because she couldn’t resist, Rey let go of Ben’s hand to slide hers up into his hair and pulled him down for a simple, lingering kiss. Breaking away from his delectable lips, she wrapped him up in her arms and buried her face against him, breathing deeply. A few moments later, she left him to retrieve her phone, the text message already pulled up, and handed it to him. His nostrils flared, his eyes narrowed, and jaw clamped shut as he read what had been written. Fury had darkened his eyes to obsidian, she saw, when he looked up at her, but only for a moment. His throat bobbed, inhaling deeply and visibly pushing aside his temper. 

Rey willingly stepped back into his arms when he reached for her, a light kiss brushing her temple. His breath lightly feathered across her cheek. “He will  _ never  _ get close to you again. I swear it.”

“I know.” 

His fury on her behalf left her feeling much calmer than she would have expected. She slid her hands over his back soothingly until the intensity of his emotions had subsided. She directed him to her bedroom where he could drop off his overnight bag and helped Rose set the table while he did so. Her bed, while not small, wasn’t as large as his - well nothing of hers was - and Rey couldn't help but be a bit nervous as to his opinion. Oh, this wasn’t the first time he’d been in her apartment, but it was the first time he’d be there for any extended period of time. Would he start to feel closed-in, wishing for the space his house provided? She supposed she’d find out fairly quickly. One thing she did know. Having Ben there helped erase the creeped-out feeling she had at the thought of her ex wandering the rooms, as if the energy her giant teddy bear of a fiancé gave off completely overrode that of Wren’s.

Ben quickly returned, sniffing the air. “Something smells delicious.” He all but gaped at Rose standing at the stove, stirring something in a pot. “You cooked? That wasn’t necessary.”

Half-turning from her position, Rose said with a slight shrug, “It’s nothing overly special. I make it all the time. Do you have any food allergies?”

Ben shook his head, his hands sliding into his jeans pockets. “None I’m aware of.” Catching sight of the chopsticks, he shot Rey an exasperated look. “Seriously?”

Rey found his expression adorable and chuckled. “I told you I’d teach you. Might as well start now.”

Ben snorted, his lips twitching, pulled his hands from his pockets and held them up. “What you fail to realize is that these paws make that nearly impossible. Some things I’m just not meant to succeed in.”

Rey stuck out her lip and looked up at him with wide eyes and fake tears. “So, you’re not going to try?”

“Now, sweetheart, I never said that. Just don’t get your hopes up.”

Ignoring Rose’s snicker, Rey placed her hands against Ben’s, palm to palm, thoroughly appreciating their size difference, knowing how strong yet gentle his hands were. “I love your hands,” she murmured. “I feel so many things when they’re touching me.” Threading their fingers together, she added, “Comfort. Safety. Love. Just to name a few.”

Before things could get too awkward for Rose, Rey stepped back, which was just as well since she remembered her laundry. “Oh, damn! My clothes are still downstairs. They should be done by now.”

“Take Ben with you.” At his look of confusion, Rose explained. “The laundry area is down in the basement. It’s a little dark down there, kind of creepy. Neither of us goes down there alone if we can help it.”

Rey, though, was already shaking her head. “Ben, if you get recognized - ” 

The look he gave her brooked no argument, cutting off her words. She was only trying to protect him, to give him some semblance of normalcy, but she remembered her earlier epiphany and supposed he was only trying to do the same for her. One day, maybe, she’d get used to the fact that he didn’t care about the draw his face would bring if it meant she was safe. After grabbing her laundry basket, she took his hand.

“Shall we?”

They made it down to the laundry room without bypassing anyone. It wasn’t until Rey had nearly finished folding her clothes and loading them into her basket when a woman walked in. As she loaded her clothes into a washer, she threw glances Ben’s way that made Rey very nervous. She just knew the woman would speak up and it would be all over the building that Ben Solo was there. Sure enough, the woman approached them.

“Say, aren’t you that celebrity guy? That actor that everyone’s been gossiping about lately?”

Thinking quickly, Rey jumped in before Ben could respond. “You mean Solo?” She pretended to scoff at the idea, all the while finishing up with her clothes as quickly as she could. “Do you really think he’d be  _ here _ ?” 

“Oh. I guess not. I’ve heard a rumor that the girl he’s involved with lives here. But again, someone like him wouldn’t look twice at someone who lives in  _ this  _ less-than-spectacular building. He’d be way out of her league.” 

Sensing Ben’s sudden tension at the woman’s unintended insult, Rey rushed in to prevent him from saying anything. “Well, not that it matters. Sorry, but you’ve confused my fiancé with him. Understandable, of course. They do have a passing resemblance and he  _ is  _ on TV, a show about gold mining.”

The woman perked up. “I’ve seen an episode or two. It’s kind of interesting to see what goes into the process of getting gold from the ground.”

Ben struggled to speak and finally managed, “Uh, thanks.”

The gossiper leaned in close to Rey and murmured, “I hear he’s a bit … difficult, that he can be rather … temperamental.”

Rey brushed off her concern with a wave of her hand. “There are cameras. It’s called acting. It’s like he becomes another person when the cameras are rolling.” She shrugged, very aware of Ben doing his best to hide his laughter. If he wasn’t careful, he’d bite completely through his lip. Apparently, he realized that himself because he pressed his thumb and curled forefinger to his mouth as if giving what she was saying some thought. “It’s what he does.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, it was nice to meet you.” The lady returned to her own clothes.

Rey had to bite her lip to keep her amusement at bay the entire time the woman finished loading her laundry into three machines, especially since Ben kept his head down and partially turned away from the woman. Rey didn’t dare glance at him for fear she’d start laughing and ruin it all. Dangerously close to breaking down, she tossed the remainder of her clothes haphazardly into the basket, grabbed it, and headed for the door. They actually made it back to her apartment before Ben lost it.

“I can’t believe you came up with all of that so quickly or that it even worked! Who is this guy you just compared me to, anyway?”

While Ben filled Rose in on what happened in the laundry room, Rey dug out her phone and pulled up some photos of the guy from the TV show, clicking one she thought showed the best resemblance and handed it over to him.

“While you don’t necessarily  _ look  _ a lot like him, there’s enough of a passing resemblance that, in a dimly lit area, you could maybe be mistaken for him. It worked on that woman, at any rate.” Taking the phone back, Rey held it up next to Ben’s face so Rose could see. “Don’t you think so, Rose?”

“Oh, I’ve always thought so. It’s more the bone structure, I think, though his face is more cat-like than Ben’s is. As dim as it is down there, it would be quite easy to make the mistake, especially if the person isn’t as familiar with either of them.”

Ben took her phone back and studied the photo a little longer. Eventually, he tilted his head side to side. “I suppose it’s  _ possible _ .” He let out a derisive snort and handed Rey her phone. “Sounded as if the guy has a real winning personality, though. Not sure I really want to be mistaken for him.”

Rey snickered and airily replied, “Oh, but he’s just acting, don’t you know? He’s a whole other person when the cameras are rolling.” Laughing, she headed for her bedroom.

When she returned, the table had been completely set. As usual, Rey thought the meal delicious. Poor Ben really struggled with the chopsticks, to the point that she nearly took pity on him and gave him a spoon. Rose actually offered, but he insisted he’d figure it out. By the end, he actually did. Much to Rey’s relief, Rose treated Ben normally, asking about the Tahoe area, avoiding anything involved with filming, except for the most generic of questions. 

After dinner, the three sat down to watch a little TV, something each of them could comment about, cracking jokes or making smart-ass comments about what was happening. Before long, the yawning began. At that point, Rey reminded Rose of the early hour she and Ben had to get up, then took Ben’s hand and led him to her room. She opted to grab a shower that night so Ben could get his in the morning, rather than both trying to fit showers in then. Rey couldn’t be positive the hot water would last that long. Sharing would be out of the question. They’d never get anywhere on time if they were to do that. Not to mention the small size of their shower/tub combo.

Despite feeling tired, Rey had a hard time falling asleep. Listening to Ben’s heartbeat and feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest usually lulled her right under, but it just wasn’t happening this time. Ben, too, appeared to have trouble if the fingers gently combing through the hair at her temple was any indication. His lips brushed the top of her head. Tilting her head, she kissed the underside of his jaw.

“Can’t sleep, either?”

Ben rolled them to their sides, sliding down a little so they were face to face, nearly nose to nose. “No, and I don’t know why. What about you? Why can’t you sleep?”

“I don’t know. Maybe part of it is everyone’s reaction to the ring.”

Ben caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers before taking her hand in his and toyed with the ring. “If the idea bothers you, Rey, don’t wear it. I don’t want you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that it bothers me, really. I guess it’s more that I would rather there not be a huge fuss made about it. I’m probably not explaining very well.”

“You’re making perfect sense.” He suddenly grinned. “How long do you think it’ll take them to notice?”

Rey softly laughed. “Good question. Gigi will probably make the biggest fuss. She seems rather observant. I’d say she’ll see it fairly quickly.”

“Hmm. Yeah, you could be right.” 

With the slightest of movements, Ben pressed a light kiss to the tip of her nose before moving lower. Rey let out a sigh of contentment, taking full advantage of their insomnia to deepen the kiss, earning a little sound of pleasure from Ben. Passions ignited and Rey found herself on her back, Ben hovering above her, trailing hot, leisurely kisses down to her chest, teasing her nipples before continuing lower. Burying her hands in his hair, Rey bit her lip to keep from making too much noise as Ben kissed across her stomach, his tongue dipping into her navel. She failed miserably when he didn’t stop there, her entire body tensing, her hands tightening in his hair and stopping him.

Ben instantly paused, looking up at her, a question in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Would you rather I didn’t?”

Rey could feel the tears building and fought them as best she could, biting her lip. How to explain? The last thing she wanted was for Ben’s guilt complex to reassert itself, but he deserved an explanation. 

“Wren. He liked to - ”

She’d barely spoken before Ben slid back up her body, resting his forehead against hers, lightly kissing her lips. “Damn, Rey, I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again. I swear.”

Caressing Ben’s cheeks tenderly, Rey tremulously smiled up at him. “It’s okay. You didn’t know. Maybe one day I’ll be ready for that.”

“If you’re never ready, that’s fine. I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, that brings  _ him  _ to mind. Just tell me and I’ll back off.”

For a long minute, Rey simply stared up at the man she would one day call her husband, memorizing every beloved feature, her emotions a storm inside. “I love you. So much.”

To punctuate her declaration, she pulled his lips to hers, kissing him with every emotion that swirled through her at that moment. She nipped, laved, and kissed his full lips, pulling a deeply moaned response from him, his lips moving just as greedily over hers. Need burning her from the inside out, Rey wrapped herself around Ben and pulled him closer, arching her hips against the hardness at her center.

“Ben, please. I need you. Right now.” Both of them moaned rather loudly when he slowly complied, prompting Rey to press her lips tightly together and cover his with her hand, panting, “Thin walls.”

Ben responded by devouring her mouth and everything he could immediately reach while remaining frustratingly still. Some other time she might have admired that self-control; now was not that time. Following his lead, she sucked, licked, and bit every inch of heated skin she could easily access, the fingers of one hand curling in his hair, while the nails of the other dug into his back, still attempting to establish some kind of rhythm. She nearly wept with relief when his hips spasmed against her.

“Oh, God, Ben!” Rey gasped as quietly as possible. “Please! You’re killing me!”

It must have been her uttering his favorite phrase that got to him. Growling so deeply she felt it rumble against her chest, he moved with hard, staccato thrusts designed for maximum pleasure and minimum bed noise. At that moment, all Rey cared about was the delicious friction driving her ever closer to the edge, her panting breaths mingling with Ben’s. Suddenly, everything seemed to coalesce into that one spot low in her belly, stealing her breath. She was coming … hard … and there wasn’t a thing she could do or say. Somehow, Ben seemed to know. His thrusts grew faster, harder, his lips capturing hers in time to catch what would have been some very loud cries of ecstasy as the tension inside her exploded. Not two seconds later, Ben went rigid and it was  _ she  _ who was muffling his desperate sounds of pleasure.

In time, Rey tightened around Ben one final time before collapsing back onto the bed, completely winded, drenched in sweat, and ready for sleep. He, too, momentarily collapsed on top of her before mustering the strength to roll to his side, taking her with him. Feeling the peace and lethargy that only an intense orgasm could bring, Rey skimmed her fingers through his damp hair, grinning sleepily.

“That … was fucking amazing,” she slurred, nearly half-asleep.

Ben chuckled, then yawned, saying, “That was certainly the plan.” She felt a kiss against her forehead. “Go to sleep. Morning comes way too early for us.”

Humming in agreement, Rey snuggled against Ben’s chest and did precisely that.

BR

Ben woke from a sound sleep, an uneasy feeling taking hold of him. Listening intently, he couldn’t figure out what had awakened him. All he heard was Rey’s soft breathing beside him. Still, his instincts screamed that he needed to get up to check on things. As gently as he could, he extracted himself from Rey, threw on his jeans, and stepped out into the hallway, closing the bedroom door without making a sound. Pausing, he listened again but still heard nothing but the ticking of a clock in the living room. Slipping into soldier mode without any conscious thought, Ben soundlessly crept down the hall to the living room and kitchen, stopping just prior to turning the corner. Peeking around the edge, he saw movement, a dark shape slipping around the couch. He had nearly launched himself at the shadow when it stepped into a pocket of moonlight, sending every bit of tension in Ben’s body draining away.

Padding around the corner, he quietly cursed, “Damn it, Finn, you nearly got yourself hurt. Or worse.”

Whirling to face Ben, Finn took in his friend’s state of undress and grinned - until Ben’s words and tone of voice registered. When Ben pulled out the Marine-voice, as Finn and Tage called it, they knew to be serious.

“Sorry. Didn’t expect you to be here. I’m not going to get to spend a lot of time with Rose tomorrow, several big groups coming in, so I thought I’d come by now to make up for it.”

Ben grimaced in distaste at the mental picture and turned to head back to Rey’s room, a folded piece of paper on the counter briefly catching his eye. Leaving it for the morning, he stopped to look back at his friend, a finger raised in warning. “Remember one thing: thin walls.”

Finn chuckled, following Ben to the hall. “Know that from first-hand experience, do you?”

Instead of a verbal response, Ben merely flipped him off before disappearing into the bedroom. Rey still slept, not having moved an inch from where he’d left her. Thinking back to earlier in the night, he winced, heat rushing up his neck and into his face. He certainly hoped he and Rey had been quiet enough. He had tried to be, but  _ fuck _ , it had felt so damn good that he’d been unable to keep completely quiet and he feared they’d been overheard regardless of his efforts. Well, with any luck, he’d never know. Most likely, Rose would sleep through his and Rey’s wake-up and prep for heading out to the studio. Removing his jeans, Ben climbed back into bed, checked his alarm, then curled around Rey and let sleep claim him.

When his alarm went off, Ben slapped at his phone and, on the third try, shut off the offending sound. Beside him, Rey groaned. “Shhh. Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up when I’m out of the shower.”

Grabbing his change of clothes, he showered, dressed, then returned to wake Rey, who, adorably, stumbled around to gather her clothes and headed for the bathroom. Deciding a good breakfast was in order, Ben entered the kitchen, pulled out eggs, bacon, and bread for toast, and began to cook. It wasn’t until he’d set the full plates on the table and added glasses of juice that he happened to recall the folded paper sitting on the counter, a piece of paper he was sure hadn’t been there when they’d gone to bed. Not being addressed, Ben picked it up and opened it, regretting his decision instantly, his stomach roiling at what he read.

_ Wren! Wren had been in the apartment again last night! Wren had been in the apartment and he hadn’t had a fucking clue! Had he been in the apartment while he and Rey had been … ? Had he listened? _

Falling into his chair at the table, Ben leaned onto his knees, feeling ill. What good were his instincts if they failed him so miserably? The asshole had been  _ right there _ ! All of this could have been over! But no, he’d been too preoccupied to notice. Not that he could ever regret making love to Rey. It simply frustrated him that they’d been  _ so close  _ to catching the bastard!

“Ben?”

Rey’s anxious voice had his head shooting up, swallowing with difficulty. “Rey. Rey, I found something you should see.” Though he didn’t want to, he held out the folded message for her and waited.

She paled and dropped into her chair, then jumped to her feet, her cheeks tinged in red as she paced the confines of the room, her hands clenched into fists, the paper crinkling. “That bastard! How dare he?! I live for the day he finally gets what he deserves.” 

Loving her ferocity and yet not feeling worthy to witness it, Ben hung his head. “If only I had realized he was here. So much for my so-called protection.”

Rey stopped pacing, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? Why would you have known he was even here? We were asleep.”

Addressing his response to the tile floor, Ben admitted, “I woke up. I had this feeling someone was in the apartment. When I checked, I discovered it was only Finn. That message was already on the kitchen counter. I just ignored it. What good are these damn instincts if they don’t work properly? How am I supposed to protect you? There’s no telling  _ when  _ he showed up.”

Two feet appeared in his line of vision. A pair of hands gently tilted his face so he had to look Rey in the eye. “Or, just maybe,” she suggested with a bit of a blush, “you were too tired to wake up.” To Ben’s surprise, she grinned impishly. “Better yet, maybe you were too preoccupied.”

Ben’s jaw dropped; he could only stare, dumbfounded, at what she’d just said. True, he’d thought the same thing, but he never would have expected it from her and make it sound like a good thing!

“What?” he managed to croak.

Rey actually giggled. “Think about it.”

“I’m really trying not to.”

“From  _ his  _ perspective, Ben. Remember some of the things he accused me of. Being cold. Unable to satisfy anyone. Now, imagine him pulling out paper and a pen and hearing us, quite obviously enjoying each other. I know we were trying to be quiet, but I’m not sure how well we succeeded. Point being, how do you think he felt hearing that? Knowing how I was with him compared to how I am with you?”

Ben did imagine it. He couldn’t do otherwise, she painted the picture so clearly. A broad smile pulled at the corners of his lips. The man’s ego had to have taken another hit. Burying his hands in Rey’s hair, he pulled her up to meet his kiss. 

Just before contact, he murmured, “God, I love you. So fucking much.”

As he feasted on her lips, his tongue advancing and retreating, teasing hers, his hands slid down to cup her ass and pull her more firmly against him. Ben moaned deeply when her hips arched against his. Shit, if only they had time! Alas, they did not. Pulling away nearly killed him, but he did it. 

Breathlessly, he lamented, “No time. We should eat.” In the next instant, his voice lowered in tone as he promised, “Later, we’ll finish this.”

Rey planted another passionate kiss on his lips before stepping back and grinning. “I’m holding you to that.” Then, she sat at the table and started to devour her breakfast.

All Ben could do was chuckle and shake his head in admiration of Rey’s spirit. How could he not? She’d come so far in such a short amount of time. The two of them ate quickly. Ben grabbed his overnight bag and Rey her camera bags and purse. Hand in hand, they left the apartment for the parking lot. The moment he set eyes on her listing car, he cursed. One of her tires was pancake flat, sitting right on the rim, a huge gash slashed through the sidewall.

“Oh, my God! My car!”

Grimly, Ben used a finger to check the depth of the breach and exhaled through his nose. Deep enough. Getting to his feet, he circled the vehicle to see if it had been vandalized in any other manner. It hadn’t. Was this Wren’s doing? Would the man stoop to something so … mundane? If Wren was the culprit, had he done it before or after he’d been in the apartment? Ben’s gut said after. Instinct told him this was in retaliation for inadvertently humiliating him. A part of Ben derived great satisfaction at the thought of having done so, while another, larger part hated that Rey had been victimized yet again.

“Oh, God! Ben, come look!’

Rey stood near the hood of his car, staring down in horror at the driver side front tire. A few long strides had him by her side in no time. There, sticking out at a ninety-degree angle was a four-inch handle of a folding knife, the blade completely buried into the side of the tire. Well, at least he had those specialty tires that would stay inflated for a short amount of time after being punctured. Still, crime scene and all that. Exhaling heavily, Ben pulled out his phone to call Tage.

“Yes, Tage, I do realize how fucking early it is. Get your guys down to Rey’s apartment. Well, the parking lot. Her tire’s been slashed and mine has a damn knife sticking out of it.”

Hanging up without another word, Ben’s next call was to Will, a call he dreaded to make. His only consolation was that Will was already up. After explaining the situation, Ben hung up from that call and leaned against his car with a heavy sigh.

“Is he mad?”

Surprised at the anxious tone in her voice, Ben looked up to find her worrying her lip and nervously rubbing her hands together. Stilling their movements by taking both of them in one of his and tugging, he gently freed her lip from her teeth with his other thumb. He placed a kiss to her forehead, her nose, then her lips.

“He’s not mad, Rey. He  _ is  _ concerned for you. I wish you’d just move in with me. I mean, I understand you wanting your own space and wanting to do things on your own. It’s why I never brought it up. I just … wish you were with me every day. Safe. Away from  _ him _ .”

Rey’s fingers laced together at his neck. “I know you do. And, you’re right. I  _ do  _ want my own space for now. I  _ do  _ want to prove, to myself if no one else, that I can rely on myself. Besides, if I lived with you, Wren would just find out where you live. Things would probably escalate to levels far worse than what they already are. I  _ don’t  _ want him knowing where you live.”

Her concern made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Smiling tenderly, he pressed his lips gently to hers. “I have plenty of security, Rey. Literally. The grounds have cameras everywhere.”

Rey’s expression turned, dare he say it, naughty. “Well, then. Remind me of that the next time we get a little … busy … outside.”

Blood rushed through his veins, his mouth watering, at the mere fact that  _ she  _ had considered being intimate outside again. He’d love to get her in his pool and make love to her against the wall. His heart beat so rapidly he had trouble drawing air into his lungs.  _ Fuck! _ One little look and comment and now he desperately wanted her like some teenager catching sight of the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Dropping his forehead to hers, Ben closed his eyes and tried to focus on anything but the woman in his arms. Impossible to accomplish when one’s own hands drifted down to cup the round cheeks of the lovely ass one couldn’t seem to stop staring at and pull said woman flush against one’s body. Ben’s breath hitched on an inhale when Rey wiggled those hips so evocatively against his. A long, low sound escaped from his lips when he returned the favor by moving against her in a slow, hard roll, earning a needy whimper from her. His desire was so great he shook. A little more of  _ that  _ and he just knew he’d be embarrassing himself, the evidence in plain of view.

Fearing that very thing, Ben made a concerted effort to put some distance between them, sliding away from Rey and rounding his car to get another look at her tire. The squeeze of the too-tight denim as he knelt on the ground made him wince and attempt to readjust himself. He  _ really  _ needed to get control. He couldn’t show up at the studio with a raging erection, that was for damn sure! Not even the arrival of the detective handling Rey’s case, as well as Tage, did much to alleviate his problem.

BR

After much telling and retelling of what they’d found, they finally made it to the studio. While Rey disappeared to the soundstage, Ben transformed himself into his character, stopping at the make-up trailer after dressing. Stepping foot inside the soundstage, he took a moment to throw on the heavy overcoat he was supposed to wear since the temperature felt absolutely glacial, each exhale puffing from his lips like mist. He admired the quality of the mountain set construction, silently thanking the crew for working as hard as they had to get it done so quickly with the quality he’d come to expect from them.

“Nice of you to finally join us!” Julian teased.

Beside him, Gigi smacked her co-star. “Oh, hush.” Then she tossed Ben a playful grin and wink. “At least we know what  _ didn’t  _ keep him away.” 

Just like that, his mind conjured up the moments that morning in which he would have preferred to take Rey straight back to bed, his blood stirring in a wholly inappropriate way for the workplace. Thank God his heavy overcoat reached his knees! As he reached them, his gaze skittered to Rey, a question in his eyes. 

Gigi must have understood his look because she leaned close. “And don’t think a few of us haven’t noticed a certain piece of jewelry our little photographer here is now sporting.” She then giggled. “We’ll talk later about that.”

Sheepishly, Ben grinned, ducking his head, heat stealing into his cheeks. Will came along to save him by instructing them to prepare to begin filming. He turned to head back behind the camera and gave Ben a manly pat on his shoulder, grin firmly in place.

“Somehow, I’m not surprised.” In the next moment, he called over his shoulder. “Alright. Let’s get going, people.”

Ben chanced another glance toward Rey, who he found to be fighting laughter and gave him a little shrug as if to say  _ We shouldn’t have expected anything less.  _ After that, it was all business. Okay, well, mostly. Ben continued to be hyper-aware of Rey’s presence just off camera, clicking away, and it was driving him crazy. Despite the distance between them, he could swear he caught whiffs of honey and vanilla, and each time he did, he had to fight the urge to grab Rey and disappear somewhere for a while. Hell, being buried in her damp heat was his place of preference anymore! Buried deep and feeling her contract around him!  _ Fuck!  _ He had to get those thoughts out of his head! He managed for a while but then back they came, increasingly more difficult to ignore.

Hours passed before Will called any sort of break in an effort to make up for time lost over the weekend. Ben was sorely tempted to skip eating and drag Rey off to his trailer but it would have been too obvious, so he forced himself to put something into his stomach. From where she sat beside him, he felt her tension and wondered if she felt the same. She looked up at him for half a second, but it was more than enough to see the arousal in her eyes. Ben swallowed a moan and pulled his gaze from hers when she longingly raked her teeth over her lower lip. Though sitting next to Rey and doing nothing that he wanted to do was torture, he nearly growled when Gigi jumped up, took Rey by the hand and led her away with a laugh.

“Come on, girl. There’s things we need to discuss while we have a few minutes.”

“So, Ben,” A tap at his elbow and Julian’s voice drew Ben’s attention, “how did you do it? Down on one knee? Ring in hand? Or did you do something like having the ring delivered during dinner? Was it tied to a rose, perhaps?”

Ben glanced around them, all too aware of the others around them pretending not to be listening. It really irritated him. What he and Rey did was their own business! Shoving his plate away, he stood. “I don’t mind talking to you, but let’s go somewhere with a little more privacy.”

Once in a spot far enough away to talk freely and yet keep the others in sight, Julian excitedly asked, “Well? How did you ask her?”

Ben, a little self-conscious about it all, leaned a shoulder against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, and shrugged. “None of that. It really just kind of … slipped out.”

Julian’s eyes went comically wide. “It  _ slipped out _ ? You didn’t have any intention of actually asking her? Oh, boy, you’re in quite a mess.”

Scowling at his co-star, Ben snapped, “Of course I intended to ask her! I almost did the day we returned from Morocco! I didn’t ask then because I didn’t think she’d agree. Plus, with everything else going on,” Ben shrugged a little, “it just didn’t seem the right time.”

Julian slapped Ben’s shoulder with a delighted laugh. “Yeah, well, sometimes it never does. Congratulations, man.” As if to himself, he muttered, “Damn, I should have been running bets as to when you’d propose. I could have made a lot of money.”

Ben rolled his eyes with a snort. “Yeah, because you’re hurting for money.” Having kept an eye on Will for a signal they were getting back to work, Ben straightened and said, “Come on. Lunch is over. Time to get back to it.”

Julian, of course, wouldn’t let him have the last word. “Just do us all a favor, would you? Do something about that sexual tension that has been practically choking us all morning, would you?” With that, he walked off.

Ben’s jaw dropped as he watched his friend walk away. His gaze jumped to those now leaving the tables. Had they all picked up on it? He ran a hand over his face. Shit, how was he supposed to face them now? And here he’d thought he’d hidden it well. Letting out a sarcastic laugh, he chastised himself for the thought. He should have known, if it had to do with Rey, he couldn’t hide a damn thing! If he hadn’t cared who heard, he’d have yelled back at Julian that he’d gladly whisk Rey off to his trailer and work on that very problem.

Puffing out his cheeks on a heavy exhale, Ben headed back to work. The break for dinner was barely that. It was taken in turns. Ben just had time to grab something to eat and check his phone for messages. He’d contacted Chuy about his and Rey’s cars. Other than his father, Chuy was the only person he trusted to repair them. It relieved him to find Chuy’s message that their cars were in the studio parking lot, good as new. What ratched his tension back up was a message from Finn. Apparently, his and Rey’s engagement had become common knowledge and social media had exploded with varying degrees of responses, Finn having supplied a few particular ones.

“Shit! How in the hell did everyone know already?! Great! Just fucking great!” 

Disgusted with some of the comments Finn had sent him - some calling her a whore, some claiming her to be a gold-digger, and some speculating she trapped him by getting pregnant - Ben quickly replied, threatening his friend with bodily harm if those comments had been sent to Rey. To avoid further irritation, Ben shut down his phone. Once he’d finished eating, he caught Rey in passing, gave the phone to her to keep and grimly informed her their little secret was out. With no time to go into details, he simply told her not to go looking for what people were saying. Though he warned her off, Ben knew she still would at some point. Social media was how she got her work out there, for the most part. His biggest worry, and it was nearly enough to make him sweat, was how Rey would respond to them. Would she laugh it all off? Take them to heart and back out of their engagement and relationship altogether? Deep down, he knew she wouldn’t do that, that Rey was stronger than that and likely would get some sort of amusement from it all, but some part of him still wrung its proverbial hands over it. Some of those comments had been horribly personal.

When Will signaled they were ready to restart, Ben took a deep breath and blanked his mind as best he could of everything but the script. It actually worked until, some time later, when Rey returned from her break, cheeks red and walking stiffly, tension radiating from her every pore. Just as he’d thought, she’d opened up her social media and had read many of the insulting comments for herself. Well, as much as he’d like to, he couldn’t comfort her now. Before refocusing on work, he sent out a silent plea to Will that they finished relatively early.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just in case it isn't clear, the scene at the end with Rose takes place 2 months after the rest of the chapter.

**_I don’t love you because I need you. I need you because I love you._ ** ****

**_\-- Unknown_ **

  
  


_“Come on, girl. There are things we need to discuss while we have a few minutes.”_

Rey helplessly staggered behind Gigi as the other woman led her to a private spot. She tossed an apologetic look to Ben. She’d hoped the two of them could sneak away and pick up where they’d left off in her kitchen. Her desire hadn’t faded in the least. In fact, it flared higher every time she looked at him, forcing her to discreetly squeeze her thighs together in an utterly futile attempt to ease the ache. And when she happened to catch his eye … she nearly whimpered at seeing her need reflecting back at her. But no, Gigi decided she wanted to talk.

The instant they were secluded, Gigi whirled to face Rey with a huge grin. “Okay, talk but talk fast. I guess it’s safe to say you’ve managed to get Ben over whatever issue he had?”

Rey casually shrugged. “You could say that.” A second later, she broke into a fit of giggles. “He took me up to meet his parents at their ranch near Tahoe. It’s a beautiful place. His parents were so nice to me. We ended up … coming to an understanding, if you know what I mean.”

Gigi snorted and wryly said, “I can guess. So, how did he pop the question?”

This time, Rey snorted as she remembered Ben’s expression. “Actually, it had been accidental and you should have seen Ben’s face when he realized he’d spoken aloud. The poor guy was absolutely horrified at first.” She rolled her eyes. “Then, he started rambling about how unprepared he was and how it probably made him look. I swear, I had to literally shut him up so I could give him my answer.”

Gigi fell back against the wall, laughing. “Oh, my God! I can just picture it!” Shaking her head as she calmed down, she went on. “Ben Solo is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. I’m glad things are working out for you both.” With a smirk, she added, “A little advice. Make time in the morning to get a little because coming to work ready to jump each other is no fun for you, nor anyone else.”

Rey’s jaw dropped so far she thought it might hit the floor. Not a second later, it snapped back into place as she winced, burying her suddenly burning face. “Oh. My. God. It’s just … ugh … it feels so damn _good_ , you know? I want him all the time!”

“Don’t worry about it, Rey. It’s understandable. And now, I’ve said all I’m going to on _that_ subject because I really don’t need any more details.” She glanced back toward the others. “It’s just as well. Time to get back at it. Let’s go.”

BR

_She’s a little whore!_

_She’s a gold-digger, is what she is!_

_She must have gotten herself knocked up and trapped poor Ben Solo into a marriage he doesn’t want!_

_Guys, it won’t last long because she’ll never hold his interest! He’s way out of her league._

_She probably got knocked up by some random guy and is trying to trick Ben into thinking the kid is his._

Rey felt like throwing her phone against the wall. Ben had warned her not to look, but she’d done it anyway. How in the hell had their engagement gotten out so quickly? She supposed her ring had been noticed when they’d stopped to put fuel in his car. She’d gotten out to use the restroom and buy them both a bottle of water. This was definitely the downside to Ben’s chosen profession. Her phone beeped for an incoming text so Rey tapped on it, too preoccupied with what she’d just read to pay attention to the sender.

_So, it seems the world has discovered what I’ve known along. You’re nothing but a little gold-digging whore, sullying yourself with another man when you belong to me. The way you were carrying on last night was truly disgusting. Tell me something. Is it true? Is there a little Solo bun in the oven? You’d better hope there isn’t because, if it’s true, I’ll take it from you. I can take whatever I want and you know it._

Gritting her teeth, Rey finally dared to respond. _What does it matter to you?_

_Haven’t you figured it out yet? You’re mine._

_I’m not a possession. You’ll never get me back._ Rey paused a moment to take a few breaths, hoping that would steady her hands enough to keep typing. _You just can’t stand the fact that I’m enjoying the sex I’m having now and that the man I’m having it with is enjoying it just as much. Unlike when I was with you …_

_Don’t push me!_

_No, you don’t push me! You’re old news, Wren. I’ve moved on. It’s time you did the same. Oh, and thanks for all the little evidence you’re giving me against you. All these texts will come in handy. Bye, now._

Rey turned down the volume and tucked her phone into her pocket. She shouldn’t have engaged with him, she knew, but he’d made her so mad. Even now, her hands wanted to curl into fists, and she longed to hit something to let off some steam. Letting out an irritated huff for allowing Wren to get her worked up, she decided she’d been gone long enough and needed to get back. She tried to hide her irritation but the firming of Ben’s lips and the flaring of his nostrils told her she hadn’t hidden a thing from him. She shot him a look that she hoped he’d interpret as _later_.

BR

God, watching Ben work was an incredible turn on! Listening to all the little nuances he put into his voice to convey certain things and all those microexpressions just added so much and was downright sexy. His soft voice swept her back to the intimacy of their moments together after being intimate. He always spoke so softly to her. As casually as she could, Rey leaned against the wall and crossed her ankles, taking the opportunity that position afforded her to squeeze her thighs together. It took a real effort to regulate her breathing. Her gaze tracked those exquisitely long and thick-fingered hands, remembering exactly how they felt against her skin. She had to stop thinking like that, but once her brain started, it wouldn’t stop! Her mind happily supplied her with the taste of his lips, his skin. Then, came his musky male scent assaulting her nostrils. 

It wasn’t just his looks, though. It was his sideways grin so similar to his father’s. It was his gentleness with her from the very beginning. It was his love for his craft and the respect and kindness he showed to others. Not to mention, his love and respect for his parents. That really spoke volumes. Then, there was his refusal to walk out of Maz’s shop without paying for her ring and the fact that he’d spread the word about the place without bragging about his good deed. In fact, he’d almost looked embarrassed to have been called out on it. Ben didn’t brag about anything and, if anyone had the right to, he did. And, of course, she couldn’t forget about his sense of humor. The one thing that really got to her, however, was his willingness to fight for his country at the age of eighteen. It took a really special kind of person to do that. Simply put, he was mouth-wateringly, devilishly, deliciously handsome because of his looks and personality combined.

Will finally called a halt for dinner and Rey nearly moaned in gratitude. Maybe now she and Ben could disappear for a few minutes. It wouldn’t take long, she knew. She no longer cared if their absence was noticed, nor did she care if everyone guessed why they were gone. If she didn’t get any relief soon, she’d combust. She caught Ben’s eye and knew he had the same thoughts. He lingered around the set so Rey busied herself with her cameras, drawing out the few seconds it normally took to put them away to nearly thirty. She thanked every Higher Power one could think of that everyone had left the soundstage by the time she’d finished.

Ben’s rushed footsteps echoed in the cavernous building as he strode toward her. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her up onto her tiptoes, crushing his lips to hers with a low growl that made her insides quiver. In one swift move, he lifted her off her feet and strode away. His lips left hers to slide hot little nips and kisses down her neck. Clutching handfuls of his hair, her nails scraping his scalp, Rey wrapped her legs around him, grinding desperately against him with little panting whimpers, nipping along his neck wherever she could reach.

“God, Ben, if you don’t - ”

Ben suddenly stopped walking, moaned, and pressed her up against a flat surface, rolling his hips into hers. “I know, sweetheart. Just … give me a minute.”

Rey practically whined when he coaxed her legs from around his waist so she could stand. The instant she was on her feet, Ben was removing his heavy coat and laying it on the floor, warm inner lining up. “It’s the best I can do.”

Rey couldn’t have cared less at that moment. Hell, he could have laid her out on one of those fake boulders and she wouldn’t have minded. All she cared about was getting his cock inside her and getting some relief from the burning need she’d felt all day long. Quickly toeing off her shoes, she removed her pants and underwear. She thought about taking off her shirt and bra but then decided to leave them on in case they had to dress in a hurry. Plus, it was rather chilly in there, though as heated as she was, she may have welcomed it. Besides, she really didn’t think she could wait another minute.

Ben had the same idea, though he left his pants and boxer briefs to hang about mid-thigh. Rey eagerly wrapped her legs around him again when he picked her up. Dropping to his knees, he lay her down on his coat, pushing inside her in one hard stroke that had both of them crying out. Her hands buried themselves in his hair again, gripping tightly. She could feel her orgasm building already as they rocked together, tightening, like a band stretched to its breaking point. It finally snapped, her back arching as she came so hard she could barely make a sound.

_“Ben!”_ Strangled whimpers and moans followed with each intensely pleasurable clench of her core around him.

Ben’s strokes stuttered, his whole body straining, a deep grunt escaping between his parted lips. _“Rey! Fuck!”_

With every sharp snap of his hips, a very satisfying, roughened grunt reached her ears. Rey pulled Ben’s lips to hers, her tongue invading his mouth to find and couple with his. Just when she thought she’d pass out from the sheer magnitude of the sensations, they lessened to small, lapping waves, allowing her to collapse back into the coat, Ben following her two seconds later, his head falling to her shoulder. For over a minute Rey struggled simply to get enough air into her lungs, weak and trembling. When she could, she loosened her fists to comb through Ben’s damp hair as he recovered.

“I don’t want to move,” came his muffled, breathless voice. “Like, ever. I just want to stay right here. Just like this.”

“I know.” One of her hands left his hair to glide over his sweat-dampened shirt. “I wish we didn’t have to, but … ”

“Yeah.” Ben shakily inhaled, then, ever so slowly, shifted his weight so that he lay beside her, sighing heavily,. “Should probably try to grab something to eat. No telling how long Will plans on keeping us here to make up for time lost.” He shuffled around to put his clothes back to rights.

“Right.” Still, Rey didn’t want to move. She took a few precious moments to look around them and realizing where they were, she snickered. “You took us behind the set? I’ll never be able to look at this or any set the same way again.”

Ben shrugged, chuckling softly. “I figured it was our best bet. Besides, it provided natural cover in case we were interrupted. Not that I would have been able to stop, but still…”

Looking over at Ben, Rey grinned. He looked thoroughly fucked, so much more relaxed; no way to hide it. His hair stood up in places from her hands, his plush lips appeared more so, his expression drowsy. Dim shadows speckled his neck. Great. Those were going to need to be hidden. Obviously, she hadn’t been thinking properly. Well, no one could mistake what they’d been up to. No doubt she looked similarly. 

“I wouldn’t have, either.” Reaching up, she tenderly thumbed a few of the marks. “I, uh, might have gotten a bit carried away. You’re going to need make-up to cover those. Everyone is going to have a very good idea of what we’ve been doing.”

Laughing, Ben pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “I really don’t care. I’m fairly certain they would have guessed anyway when we didn’t file out with everyone else.” Giving her a quick squeeze, he sat up and ran a hand through his hair, smirking down at her. “Besides, you don’t look so put-together, either.” Leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to various spots on her neck, his breath tickling her skin. “These would surely testify as to our activity and I can’t help but feel smug about that.”

Rey hummed contentedly, toying with Ben’s wavy hair, giggling when small sections insisted on sticking up. “I ruined your stylist’s hard work. She’s going to be upset with me.”

“Doubt it. She likes you. With her capable hands, it won’t take much to get it right again.” Ben let out a hefty sigh and sat up. “On that note, we should get around. Get some food so there’s time for me to get back to Make-up and Hair.”

Rey sat up, finger-brushing her hair, and quickly found her clothes. Now that their passions had waned, she felt the cold air again and it made her shiver. She made short work of getting dressed. Both stood and Ben picked up the coat. Rey snickered as she thought of the costume designer’s expression upon hearing the speculation. Catching Ben’s curious expression, she laughed.

“Just thinking the costume people will probably be gifting you with that once they hear how we were gone for part of dinner. They’ll probably wonder if it was used in any way and just give it to you.”

Chuckling, Ben nodded. “You’re probably right about that.” Taking her hand, he winced. “Damn, your hands are like ice already! We definitely need to get something warm into you.”

Unable to resist, Rey indicated the coat and with raised brows, quipped, “Didn’t we just do that?”

Ben laughed out loud, the sound echoing in the large open area, and pulled her in close for a quick kiss. “Yes, we did. Wish we could do it again but it’ll have to wait.”

They’d nearly reached the door when it suddenly opened and Julian stepped inside, his eyes squeezed shut and his fingers stuck in his ears. “Is it safe!?”

Rey nearly giggled when Ben tossed her a playful wink. Stepping forward silently - a miracle to Rey considering the hard floor - Ben suddenly grabbed Julian’s wrists, making the guy jump, and yanked his hands away from his ears.

“No, it’s not! Go back! Go back!”

Julian’s eyes flew open and he scowled. “Ben Solo, I swear to God, you do that to me again and I’m going to make sure to hit you hard the next fight scene we practice!”

“Just, you know, aim for the other side of my face, yeah?”

He said it so casually that Rey couldn’t hold back her laughter anymore. Julian’s dark scowl jumped between them. “That wasn’t funny,” he muttered, before turning for the door. “Ben, you’re going to want to go by Make-up and Hair. Rey and I will get your dinner. Oh, and glad you got things sorted out. The tension was getting thick enough to need a machete to walk through it.”

Prickling heat crept up Rey’s neck and right into her face, effectively curing her of her amusement. Ben’s large hand engulfed hers and Rey looked up at him to find him looking down at her with a little worry in his eyes. His other hand rose, this thumb tenderly caressing her cheek and down across her bottom lip, a sweet, comforting gesture that had Rey smiling.

“Best not put it off any longer,” she murmured. “You’re going to be pressed for time as it is.”

“I know. Julian didn’t mean to embarrass you, you know. He was teasing.”

“I know.” Rey chuckled a little. “Guess I should get used to the things people say, huh?”

Though she hadn’t specified which _people_ she meant, Ben seemed to understand. “Don’t worry about _them_. Responding to any of them will only make things worse. You need a PR agent, especially if you want your skills as a photographer to be taken seriously. A PR agent can help with that. I can recommend someone.”

She hadn’t thought of that but maybe she should have. With a grin, she added, “And help with all this negative attention. Is that what you’re saying without really saying it?”

Ben merely shrugged. “Thought I’d appeal to your professional side.”

Standing on her tiptoes and in a husky voice, she said, “Oh, you definitely appeal to my professional side, but more so to my personal one.” 

She gave him a single hard, enthusiastic kiss before dropping back down and pulling him out the door. Ben hurried off at a jog to Hair and Make-up. Rey headed for the area set aside for the catering, not too far behind Julian. She did feel a bit self-conscious when she reached the dinner area and noticed everyone watching her without openly gawking. That was something, at least. Stomach rumbling rather loudly, Rey focused on filling her plate and loading one up for Ben. If she was hungry, he had to be _starving_.

A hand at her elbow had her turning that way. Gigi stood there, playful smirk on her face. “Finally surfacing, are we?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Work up an appetite?”

Heat flooded Rey’s cheeks but she laughed. “Shush.” Then, she cheekily shot back, “You just wish you were getting some.”

Gigi laughed, too, holding her hands out to her sides. “You got me. I’m a wee bit jealous. That said, I’m so happy for you and Ben. You make each other happy and it’s a delight to see. You both practically glow, especially now that you have that ring on your finger.” She indicated Rey’s left hand. “It’s so beautiful.”

Rey flared her hand so she could see the ring, the stones sparkling in the light, and dreamily sighed. “It is, isn’t it? I still have a hard time believing it. I catch myself checking my finger to make sure I didn’t imagine it. It just seems so unreal. Never in a million years had I thought that someone like Ben would look at little nobody me twice.”

Gigi’s expression sobered a little. “Don’t let Ben hear you say that. Besides, why wouldn’t he? You’re beautiful, inside and out. You have that certain something that makes everyone like you.”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh, this time with a little more sarcasm. “Not everyone. There are a lot of people out there who aren’t very happy right now.”

Gigi rolled her eyes. “Them,” she spat with disdain. “Let them talk. Not a single one of them would have stood a chance with Ben. He’d have seen right through any front they put up. The minute you walked onto the set, their fates were sealed. They’re just jealous and petty.”

“Ben thinks I should get a PR agent, says an agent could help negate all the talk and help me career-wise.”

“I think he’s right.”

“Well, I don’t hear that very often. What am I right about?”

Rey startled a little at Ben’s unexpected voice. She turned to face him, handing over the plate she’d made up for him. He nearly drooled, it seemed, when he took his plate, and Rey was fairly certain she heard his stomach protest its emptiness. Watching him dig in with gusto had her fighting a grin. The experts had performed their magic, Ben’s hair back in its pre-sex style and the marks on his neck hidden without it being obvious. The urge to run her fingers back through his hair and wipe away the concealer was so strong she had to curl her hand into a fist, then realized she needed to eat and focused on that.

“So, what am I right about?”

Gigi laughed. “Not going to let it go, are you?”

Just before stuffing another big bite into his mouth, Ben shook his head. “I told you. I don’t hear that very often, so, no, I’m not letting it go.”

“Rey was telling me you suggested she get a PR agent. I think it’s a great idea.”

Ben hummed in acknowledgment, finished the bite he’d taken, and replied, “It only makes sense. Even more so now that our engagement has been splashed all over social media.” His jaw muscle twitched, his expression flattening. “The things being tossed about are disgusting. I hate this part of fame, everyone thinking they know me or anyone around me just because they’ve seen some interviews or whatever.”

Before Gigi or Rey could say anything, Will came around, laying a hand on Ben’s shoulder. He seemed to study his lead actor a moment. “Are we ready to keep filming or do you need a few minutes?”

By the barely suppressed humor in his eyes and voice, Rey knew exactly what the director was asking. She ducked her head and concentrated on eating, leaving Ben to respond. “All set. Ready when you are.”

“Good. Speaking of sets, I and the entire production crew wish to remain blissfully unaware of anything that may or may not have just occurred on mine. Be ready to get back to work in ten minutes. The next few hours are going to be rough.”

He patted Ben’s shoulder again as he faced Rey, nodding toward her left hand. “May I see it?” Grinning somewhat self-consciously over the attention, Rey held out her hand, which Will took lightly into his, whistling. “That’s a lovely piece. Congratulations.” Lightly squeezing her hand before letting go, he sighed. “I wish you were an actress. Having you and Ben together in a film would be great.”

Gigi snorted. “Are you kidding? They’d set the film on fire, along with every theater it was shown in. Their chemistry is just too great.”

Will rubbed his chin in thought. “You could be right about that. Maybe as an extra, though.” His contemplative gaze jumped between the couple, nibbling his lip. “Yeah. Maybe as an extra who just happens to walk past Lucas or you bump into each other.” He seemed to warm to the idea. “That is, Ben, if you think you can look at her indifferently. No searing looks.”

Shock left Rey speechless and staring at Will. He didn’t just say … did he? Surely he was just humoring Ben. No way could he have actually meant it. She wasn’t an actress, wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what she was doing. She’d just ruin any scene they tried to put her in. No, she had to stop the madness right this instant before Will got carried away and then regretted ever mentioning it after trying to work with her. Her pulse pounded in her chest, her throat threatened to close up. Breathing grew more difficult. The surge of adrenaline caused her to tremble like a leaf in the wind.

“I like it.”

Rey’s head snapped up to Ben, who wore an ear to ear grin, her heart racing furiously now. She finally found her voice, breathy though it was. “You can’t be serious. I don’t know a thing about acting. I’m sure I’d just mess it all up and you’d have to cut me out of it anyway. What would be the point?”

Ben looked down at her, his brows furrowed. “You wouldn’t mess anything up.” 

Snatching her plate from her and handing it to Gigi while shoving his at Will, Ben then took her hand and led her a short distance away. He placed one of her hands on his chest, weaving the fingers of the other through her hair.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. Breathe. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. No one will force you. Just breathe for me, okay? Do it with me.”

Finally, the buzzing in her ears, the fuzziness in her head cleared and Rey could take a deep, steady breath. “Sorry. I don’t know why that happened. It hasn’t for so long, now.”

Ben leaned in to kiss the top of her head. “Never apologize for that. If the idea of being on camera terrifies you that much, then put it out of your head. No one is going to make you do anything and no one is going to beg until you give in. And _no one_ is going to think less of you.”

Still a little shaky, Rey ran a hand over her face and sighed. “I know. I just don’t want to mess anything up for you. The funny thing is, I think it would be kind of fun.”

The hand covering hers against his chest squeezed gently. “You wouldn’t mess anything up that wasn’t easily taken care of. Besides, you’ve seen how many takes we sometimes have to do to get things just right anyway. You can’t be any worse than us.”

“Yes, I can. You’ve gone to school for this. The most acting I’ve ever done was … ” Rey bit her lip, not sure she wanted to continue with that statement but Ben coaxed her into finishing it. “ … was when I left Wren. I had to pretend everything was normal until I could walk away.” Ben’s entire body went completely rigid at the mention of her not-so-stable ex, so she sought to distract him, to loosen him up again. “I really would like to be somewhere in the background of a scene with you.”

With a heavy sigh, the tension leaked from Ben’s body. “How about this? We let Will come up with something simple like what he suggested. You passing by me or us bumping into each other. You won’t have to say a word. The camera will be more focused on me than you. Then, we can run through it before we film it. If you change your mind, don’t hesitate to say so. If you decide to do it, we’ll get a costume for you, nothing complicated, and we’ll do it.”

It really was the best scenario. She could back out if it made her too nervous. There was just one thing. “You don’t think Will would be upset for spending all of that extra time on me and then back out at the last minute? I don’t want to make him farther behind in the shooting schedule than he already is.”

“Are you kidding? If he didn’t want you on film, he wouldn’t have put it out there. At the same time, he won’t push you.”

“Alright. I’d like to try.”

Ben gave her a nod and an encouraging smile. “Alright, then. Let’s go.”

BR

Days later, after having rehearsed what little bit she would be doing, Rey felt much more comfortable than she ever thought she’d be. Now, it was time to do it for real, costume and all. She blushed as she looked it over. Ben hadn’t seen her in it yet. The costume designer, Marie, had all but crowed gleefully that Ben’s brain would be short-circuiting. Rey wasn’t sure she wanted to distract him; that wasn’t the intention of this bit part of hers. She couldn’t deny that wearing it made her feel super sexy. And her make-up? Not heavy, but it did look good on her, an earthy color on her eyes and red on her lips. Her hair they left down, tousled a bit. The biggest surprise was the addition of swirling red and black artwork on her right cheek, over her jaw and onto her neck, just large enough to be noticed on camera.

She currently sat in Gigi’s trailer waiting for the actress to help her out if she needed it. For moral support, if nothing else. There came a quick couple of knocks and the door opened. “Hey, Rey! You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. Give me a hand. I’m not used to this. I don’t want to wear something incorrectly.”

“Sure. Let’s take a look.” Gigi gasped in delight at what lay across the little sofa. “Ohhhh, Ben is going to have a fit. He’ll be drooling for sure.”

Rey worried her bottom lip. “Is it too much? I’m not supposed to be a distraction.”

“Honey, he’d be distracted, no matter what you wore. He’ll look his fill and then focus. It’s what he’s always done. Okay, so, let’s start with the corset top. It’s so pretty. I love the siren red and the black lacy sleeves. The black floral appliques on the sleeves and corset are a nice touch, as are the black lacy accents along the top and bottom.”

A little shy to be undressing in front of the woman, Rey turned her back before pulling off her shirt and bra. Taking the garment, she carefully inserted her arms into the loose sleeves and fastened the buttons. It barely covered her breasts. She’d never shown this much in her life! She thought for sure she’d have a wardrobe malfunction if she leaned too far forward. Gigi adjusted the sleeves so they were off her shoulders more.

“Alright. Let’s see.”

Taking as deep a breath as the strict garment allowed, Rey turned around. “What do you think?”

“Beautiful. Okay, the leather pants next. I have to say I’m kind of jealous. Those are some sexy pants. Lace-up fly. The little studs running down the tops of the legs. Good call to leave empty space for the knees though. Might have been uncomfortable if you tripped and landed on a studded knee.”

Rey shuddered. “I hope I don’t trip. Knowing my luck? I will.”

Gigi shrugged. “Land in Ben’s arms. It’ll look really good on camera.”

Rey snorted. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Gigi turned away this time, much to Rey’s appreciation. At least she didn’t have to forego any garments with the pants. That would have been awful. Getting them on, she laced them up to comfortable tightness. They fit almost like a second skin but were still flexible enough to move in. The corset’s bottom lacy accent just overlapped the top of the pants. Next came the lace-up calf-high red leather boots, pant legs tucked into the boots. Though only having a one-inch heel, Rey still felt much taller. Her red leather fingerless gloves could barely be called gloves. At the base of the thumb, they angled across the palm, covering about three-quarters of it, looping around to only cover the knuckles on the backs of her hands, studs accenting each knuckle, and swooping up to the base of her thumb. 

Gigi finally turned back around. “The gloves are a nice touch. Marie’s outdone herself.”

Rey laughed, starting to enjoy herself. “Can you really call them gloves? They barely cover anything. They’re half-gloves at best.”

“True. Still, they look amazing.”

Rey picked up the choker made of black lace and red oval crystals, one teardrop-shaped red crystal dangling from the main one. Handing it to Gigi, she lifted her hair off her neck. It felt weird against her neck but not wholly uncomfortable. She hadn’t worn a choker before so it was something she’d need to get used to. Last, but not least, came the hooded, cloak-like jacket that, when fully on, reached mid-thigh in front and her knees in the back. Gigi picked it up, draping it around Rey’s shoulders.

“Okay, we’re going to tease Ben a little. We’ll fasten this top button and let it hang loose but around you so it covers what you’re wearing. Then, when it’s time to film, pull the hood up, toss the jacket over your shoulders to reveal it all.”

“Will you really be able to see the choker?”

Gigi patted Rey’s shoulder. “Trust me, it’ll get seen. You ready?”

Jittery with excitement, Rey nodded. “Let’s do this.”

“That’s the spirit. Oh, I can’t wait to see Ben’s face. This is going to be good.”

They made it to the soundstage in a short amount of time. Gigi pulled the door open and preceded Rey into the building. Rey felt as if everyone’s eyes were on her even if they weren’t. She especially felt the weight of Ben’s gaze as she walked toward him, the _thunk, thunk_ of her boot heels echoing.

The heat in his gaze as it raked up along her body had her breaking out into goosebumps again. God, how was she going to handle it when he saw her full attire?

“You okay?”

Did he sound just a little breathless? Good! Deciding to give him an eyeful, Rey reached up, slipped the button of her jacket free, and with a bit of a showman’s flourish, flipped the material off her shoulders.

“Do I look okay?”

Rey derived great pleasure in Ben’s widening eyes, his dropped jaw, but especially in his barely audible, “Fuck.”

Julian, who happened to be standing with Ben, whistled. Gigi snickered, reached under Ben’s chin and shoved it closed. “Wipe your chin, loverboy. Now isn’t the time. You can devour her later.”

Rey took her position by the bar of what was supposed to be a cantina on some random planet. Will yelled _Action_ and Rey counted to five before spinning away and bouncing off the solid wall that was Ben.

“Careful, Sweetheart.’

Was that a slight smugness in his tone? Before she realized what she was doing, Rey snapped back, “Well, if you weren’t in my way, I wouldn’t run into you, now would I?”

His brows jumped, obviously taken by surprise. Rey didn’t hang around. Side-stepping him and Julian, she ignored the cameras as best she could and made her way to an out-of-the-way table to sit and watch the rest of the scene. She had to remind herself to remain in character, whatever her character was, until Will called a halt fifteen minutes later.

“Rey, that was truly fantastic! Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”

Rey beamed at the praise. It meant a lot coming from someone of Will’s caliber. “No, never. I’m just glad I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Trust me, it was perfect. Especially your ad-lib. Priceless!”

“Thanks. It was fun, actually.”

To her surprise, she felt reluctant to change back into her regular clothes, but her part was done, so it didn’t make sense to drag out the moment. Before she could take a step, Ben jogged over and swept her up into his arms, picking her right up off the floor.

“You were amazing! I knew you’d be great.” Setting her back on her feet, he murmured in her ear, “You look incredibly delicious. I definitely plan on devouring you later. Provided, of course, we get out of here at a decent hour.”

“I look forward to it. Until then,” Rey took a step back, “I’m going to go change.”

“Don’t. Will might work you into another scene. We’re still using this set for a few other scenes. Even if he doesn’t, if the camera pans through, it may look odd if you’re not in the background.”

Well, she really didn’t have anything to say to that so she nodded. “Alright.”

BR

Rey grabbed a banana and a couple of apples and tossed them into a backpack-style purse. Lately, she’d been hungry between meals so had taken to hauling snacks with her wherever she went. She supposed she had been extra busy the past two months. Some of the fury over her and Ben’s engagement had died down, though a lot more comments were made than she cared to think about. That was okay, her PR manager, Nadia, handled a lot of it. The woman was a gem! Rey wished she’d thought of it before. Not that she would have had much money to offer, but still.

“You ready?”

Rey nodded at Rose, her smile bright. The two were taking the day to have a little fun. It had been too long since their last fun day together. It had been Ben’s idea, actually. He and the others were having a ‘reading’ day, one of those boring sit-downs where they read through the scenes to be filmed and figure out the best way to do them. In other words, nothing for her to do.

“Let’s go! It’s been way too long since we’ve done anything together, just the two of us.”

Rose threaded her arm through Rey’s and led her out of their apartment. “Yes, it has. Between your being on set for movie stills, not to mention, your other photography projects, and my work, there just hasn’t been much chance.”

In no time, they were in Rose’s Sonata and heading for the closest mall. It really was a good thing they were doing some shopping; her clothes weren’t fitting like they used to. Too much junk food she supposed, grabbing bites to eat whenever she could and wherever she happened to be. So, now, she needed to buy a whole new winter wardrobe as well as clothes for now! At least she could afford it. Her bank account was nice and healthy, thanks to Ben, despite her discomfort at taking his checks. She’d tried to refuse again after the trip to Belize and discovered Ben simply went around her and deposited the money into her account for her. It had upset her at first, but she resigned herself to the fact that she would be getting the money one way or another.

Once there, Rose enthusiastically dragged Rey into the first clothing store. “Come on, let’s do some shopping!”

Rose found a few tops to try on right away, but Rey wasn’t the sparkly kind of person, so she continued to look. On one rack, she spotted a top that was mostly khaki colored with a wide red band around the midsection, ending with a smaller section of navy blue, the same blue on the sleeve cuffs. It felt soft to the touch. Pulling one her size from the rack, she continued searching for others. A little later she spotted a pine green button-down shirt and picked one of those off the shelf. A flowy gray short-sleeved top with a tapered hem in the front and back caught her interest. It looked as if it would be extremely comfortable. Taking one of those, too, she found a woven dark gray sweater to layer the shirt with. That way, she’d get more wear out of it. 

After trying on her selections, to her dismay, she had to go up a size. Rey sighed. She’d just have to watch what she ate or exercise more. Rose took in her choices and nodded her approval.

“Those are nice but you should have something super nice. Ben may want to take you out somewhere. What would you wear?”

Rey snorted. “Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what we should do now that things have died down a little. Show our faces and stir the fanatics again.”

“There are plenty of places you can go for privacy.” Rose gasped and walked a short distance to Rey’s right. She picked up an off-the-shoulder, rolled neck, knit sweater and paired it with a white camisole top. She held the two up against Rey. “These are gorgeous. You can wear just the camisole top or use the sweater over it. Get some nice jeans and cute shoes.”

Checking how it may look on her, Rey nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

Rose beamed and shoved the items into Rey’s arms. “Ohh, and these.” 

_These_ turned out to be a flowing, off-white top with a large blue floral print with accents of deep reddish-brown and a suit-style jacket the same off-white in color. Rey looked dubiously at the items Rose held up.

“I don’t know. I’d probably drop food on them and ruin them.”

Rose wasn’t having any of it. “Go try these on. I’ll hold your other stuff.”

When she put them on, Rey had to admit, they’d looked good, and it _would_ be nice to have something a little dressier on the off-chance Ben did want to go somewhere. It could be dressed down with blue jeans for a more casual look and dressed up with the jacket. Mix and match, dress up or down, had been her motto for so long, she found it hard to break the habit. She simply didn’t see what the point was to have a closet full of clothes that barely got worn. She felt the same about shoes. She preferred styles that could be worn in multiple situations and with multiple outfits.

Trying on jeans, she found, again, she had to go up a size. Okay, that did it! She was definitely making time to exercise! Adding a couple pair of blue jeans, one a darker shade, and a couple of black jeans to her pile, the two headed for the register, chatting about how things were going with Finn. From there, the friends hit a fashion jewelry shop to match their new clothes. From there, they hit bookstores, electronics shops, and Bath & Body Works for some decadently-scented lotions.

By this time, Rey needed a break, feeling tired and hungry. Dropping heavily onto a bench, she bit back a yawn as she set her shopping onto the floor by her feet and dug out an apple, taking a huge bite. Beside her, Rose plopped onto the other end, watching her friend carefully.

Feeling the weight of Rose’s gaze, she turned to face her. “What?”

“Are you okay, Rey? You didn’t use to tire out like this. You’re not sick, are you?”

Well, that came out of left field. Rey considered all the times she’d fallen asleep earlier than usual and decided that maybe it wasn’t as odd a question. “I’m fine. I feel just fine. It’s been almost non-stop for weeks. It’s just catching up with me, I guess.”

Rose still didn’t seem too convinced. “You’d tell me if you were. I mean, seriously sick. Right?”

Rey, still munching her apple, nodded, an expression of incredulity on her face. “Of course, I would. I’m not, though. I feel perfectly fine. I promise.”

“Well, okay, then. Haven’t heard anything from your unfriendly, neighborhood-casing ex, have you?”

Rey dropped the hand holding the apple to her lap, her brows furrowing as she thought about that situation, chewing slowly. “No, and it’s almost unnerving. He hasn’t given up; I know he hasn’t. This silence makes me wonder if he’s planning something, what it could be, and when it will happen.”

“Yeah. I’m proud of you, though. Going on with your life, living it, instead of letting him rule you again. And now, you’re engaged to a wonderfully gentle giant. You’ve really begun to come into your own and it’s been nice to watch.”

For some reason, that made Rey rather emotional, her eyes tearing up, her throat closing up. “Thanks for that.” With a little laugh, she swiped the tear that had dropped onto her cheek. “Sorry. That just meant a lot to me.” Hoping to lighten the mood, she added, “And, God, you sound as if you’re twice our age or something.”

Rose grinned, playfully shaking her head. “Doesn’t make it any less true. So, where do you want to go next?”

  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, don't kill me! Happy chapter ending I promise. And no, this isn't the end of the fic but we are getting close.

**_Our real discoveries come from chaos …_ **

**_\-- Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters_ **

  
  


Though he had yet to say anything, Ben was increasingly becoming worried about Rey. He felt she was taking on too much, between her own photography jobs and coming to the set. Case in point, just last month, she had gone shopping with Rose, and according to her, Rey had to sit and rest a few times. That was completely unlike Rey. She must be skipping meals, too, because she always seemed to be hungry. Either that, or she was just grabbing a few bites here or there. He  _ had  _ to find a way to make her slow down and eat better or she was going to make herself sick. More often than not lately, when she came to the set, it was a few hours after he arrived, looking as if she hadn’t slept well. Not that it was every day. It was just becoming more prevalent. Today was one of those days in which she had another project to work on, and honestly, Ben found himself thankful. On days like this, she slept far longer into the morning than she would if she were coming here.

“You look a million miles away.”

Startling slightly at the voice, Ben looked up at his co-star, sheepishly. “Sorry, Julian.” He glanced back at the section of script they were supposed to be analyzing, deciding if anything needed tweaking. “A little distracted, I guess.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

Not really wanting to get into it since he hadn’t discussed his concerns with Rey, Ben quickly shook his head. “No, nothing like that. Just having an off day.” Refocusing on the pages in front of him, he skimmed through a scene and picked out a few lines. “This part of the scene. Not sure I like how it goes. What if we did it this way instead?”

Ben expanded on what he meant and, just like that, his mind focused more on work, leaving the puzzle of Rey to simmer a while longer.

BR

That evening, Tage, Phasma, Finn, and Rose gathered at Ben’s place for a nice get-together. Rey had texted him, apologizing for running late, that she was on her way. He really wished she’d move in with him already. Of course, he understood her need for independence and to have her own space but he’d really feel much better if she was here. Lately, he’d been getting this really odd vibe that had left him feeling on edge. The phrase  _ waiting for the other shoe to drop  _ would be an accurate description because he felt certain that shoe was already falling. It just hadn’t landed yet.

Half an hour later, his phone rang again, Rey’s number showing in the display. The hairs at the back of his neck suddenly stood on end. Something wasn’t right. The shoe had finally landed. With trembling hands and pounding heart, he shushed the others and put her on speaker.

“Rey? Sweetheart, what’s up?” He thought he heard rapid breathing and - sniffling?

“Ben?”

She  _ was _ crying! Ben struggled to stay calm, but his voice came out a little rough. “Rey, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

Quiet sobs now. “Ben! Ben, my brakes are gone! I’m out on the highway heading your way and that curve is coming. You know the one. The really tight one. Something’s not right. The car’s in neutral, but I’m still maintaining speed. Ben, I’m not going to make that curve.”

Knees giving out on him, Ben dropped to the floor, still clutching his phone like a lifeline to the woman he loved. In the background, strangely muted, he heard Tage saying something but he couldn't make out what. He began to rock as he furiously tried to make his brain work.

“Ben, listen to me. If … If I don’t make it, I need you to promise me something.”

Pain squeezed Ben’s chest, like a giant hand wrapping around his heart. He couldn’t stand to hear those words. His vision blurred. His unoccupied hand burrowed itself into his hair, gripping tightly. “You will,” he choked out. “You  _ will  _ make it, Rey. You  _ will.  _ You have to. I can’t be here alone.”

When Rey spoke again, she seemed eerily calm. “You won’t be if you promise me to find someone else. That turn is coming up quick. Ben, promise me. I need to hear you promise me. Find someone else.”

Tears poured down Ben’s cheeks now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I can’t.” It came out a strangled whisper. He forced the next words out, needing her to understand. “I can’t, sweetheart. You’re the only one I want.”

“If I’m going to go, I need to know that you’ll be okay, that you’ll look for someone new. Don’t close yourself off, Ben. You have way too much love to give. Promise me.”

His breath shuddered in his chest. “I promise,” he whispered. It was all he could force past his rapidly closing throat, having no intention of keeping that promise.

“Thank you. I love you, Ben.”

That metaphorical shoe slammed into the ground hard and it sounded just like tires squealing, a car flipping repeatedly, each crunch or creak of twisting metal, the shattering of glass, and light thuds as objects flew around inside the cabin were like bullets to Ben’s chest. In absolute shock over hearing what could be the last moments of his love’s life, his grip on the phone loosened, allowing it to slide to the floor with a clatter. Though not truly able to see it through his tears, he kept his eyes trained on where the phone-shaped blob lay as if he could somehow use it to see Rey or that, by him watching, she’d sense it and she’d survive. Then, suddenly, dead silence as the connection was severed.

_ “No! Rey!” _

Ben reached out a violently shaking hand for the phone but he couldn’t bring himself to touch it. His hand dropped back to his side. If he didn’t touch the phone, then, what happened on the other end wouldn’t be real. Maybe it wasn’t real anyway. Maybe he’d just fallen asleep and was having an awful nightmare. He badly wanted that to be true but he knew in his gut that it wasn’t. What he’d heard was all too real. Rey could be lying out there, dying or already dead. She could be trapped, struggling to breathe, in a great deal of pain. The thought that her possible last moments of life were filled with excruciating pain turned his stomach. Bile crept up his throat like an animal looking to escape. He swallowed a few times but it wasn’t staying down. 

Ben bolted for his bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him, and emptied his stomach into the sink. When the heaves finally passed, he cupped his hands under some running water and rinsed his mouth. Shutting off the faucet, he dried his hands, stumbled against the wall and slid to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest. Elbows on them, he cradled his head, despair swelling inside, ready to pull him under. Rey couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t be.

A light knock on the door. “Ben?” Tage’s voice. “Ben, I’ve got help already en route to her. I called them as soon as she said she didn’t have any brakes. They’ll be there soon. I promise. She’s going to be fine.”

Ben curled even further into himself, his throat closing up. He turned away from the closed door. Barely above a whisper, he said, “I can’t live without her. I just can’t.” Dropping his head, he gave release to his despair.

BR

“Ben! Ben, listen! I’ve just spoken to the first responders. Rey’s alive! She’s banged up, but she’s going to be okay. Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital!”

Ben jolted back to awareness at the first call of his name. He’d been reliving all the moments he’d shared with Rey, every one he could remember, so that he never forgot any of them, never forgot how she looked, never forgot how her smile could light up an entire room. Upon hearing one of his best friends say she was alive, Ben jumped to his feet and threw open the door.

“What? She’s alive?”

Tage smiled up at him, lightly gripping Ben’s upper arms. “Ben, she’s okay. She’ll be sore for a while, but she’ll be just fine. Come on. Let’s go see her.”

Ben flew out the door and right through his front door before anyone else could move. Tage insisted on driving him there, with Finn and Rose following in Finn’s car. Reaching the infamous bend in the road, he averted his eyes, unable to face it. It took them an agonizingly long time to get to the hospital in Ben’s opinion and cursed himself for living so far outside of the city. The instant they arrived, he jumped out of Tage’s car and rushed to the help desk, getting Rey’s floor and room numbers. Not bothering to wait for the others, he dashed for the closest elevator that was just expelling some passengers. He jabbed the button for Rey’s floor and impatiently waited for the doors to close, then for the car to lift.

He stopped at the first nurse’s station he found. “I’m looking for Rey Loess’ room. She was recently brought in from an automobile accident.”

The blonde nurse looked up at him, did a double take. To her credit, her jaw didn’t drop too far and her voice only held professionalism. “And you are?”

Ben knew she didn’t ask just to be asking; she obviously knew who he was, but he also knew there were rules as to who could see patients. That knowledge didn’t prevent his irritation from leaking into his voice. “She’s my fiancée.”

She studied him a moment, apparently thinking as to whether she would give him the information he sought. If she didn’t, well, he’d find Rey’s room on his own. He’d scour the entire floor searching. After a few seconds, she seemed to make up her mind. She held up a clipboard with several forms.

“Can you fill in any of this information? If you can do that, I’ll take you to her room. She’s been given some painkillers so she’ll be sleeping. There’s a few things the doctor wants to keep an eye on for the moment. That’s why they’re keeping her here for the night.”

Ben took the clipboard. He’d do anything as long as he was allowed to see Rey. “I’ll fill in what I can. Is there a problem? I thought she was okay?”

“It’s just a precaution. Honestly, everything looks just fine. I’ll let the doctor explain.”

She led him down one corridor, around a corner, down another corridor, around two more corners, and Ben swore the floor had more twists and turns than the most complicated of labyrinths. Finally, she stopped at a closed door and faced him.

“Just remember. She looks worse than she is. She’s pretty much one giant contusion at the moment.” 

She pushed open the door, stepping aside so he could enter first, and he gasped at his first look at her. Sterile white bandages and gauze wrapped around her upper arms peeked out from the short sleeves of the gown she wore. A butterfly bandage held a cut over her right eye together. Deep purple bruises dotted her face, neck, arms and hands. He could only imagine it was the same for the rest of her. In one arm, an IV dripped something clear into her vein. She lay so still he’d have thought her dead if not for the  _ beep, beep, beep  _ of the heart monitor.

Anxiously, Ben approached her bedside, gently caressing her cheek with the back of a single finger. “Damn, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

“Luck was on your side tonight. You could very well have lost them. I’ll let the doctor know you’re here.”

Ben glanced up at the retreating nurse, utterly confused. Lost …  _ them?  _ What? There hadn’t been anyone else in Rey’s car. Setting his confusion aside, he slowly sank into the chair by Rey’s bed. Taking her free hand in one of his, he tenderly skimmed his thumb over the back of her hand. His other one lightly carded through her hair. Lifting Rey’s hand, he peppered it with the gentlest of kisses before dropping his elbow to her bed and resting his forehead against it, focusing on her warm skin and the beep of the heart monitor. His phone notified him of a text. Checking it, he saw it was from Tage, stating everyone was in the waiting room. Ben vaguely remembered passing one on the way to Rey’s room. He texted back that he was waiting for the doctor and then would let them all know what was going on. 

The door began to swing inward. Ben jumped to his feet to meet the doctor. In walkedl a very short older woman with large round glasses, pulling some kind of machine on a cart behind her. She smiled up at him. “My, you are a big one, aren’t you? Then again, maybe I’m just short. Anyway, hello, I’m Dr. Kanata.” She waved a hand at the chair he’d vacated. “Sit. Sit. I just wanted to fill you in on some things. First off, your girl is going to be fine. She’ll be sore, but fine.”

Ben dropped into the chair, extremely relieved to hear confirmation that Rey was truly alright. “Thank God,” he breathed.

“Yes, and any other mystical/higher power one may believe in. Your girl was extremely lucky. Having said that, we’re going to keep her overnight for observation, just to make sure nothing happens to any of them.”

“Them? The nurse said something about that, too. What did she mean? There wasn’t anyone else in Rey’s car. I’m not getting it. What are you talking about?”

Dr. Kanata’s little lips formed an ‘o’ of surprise, her eyes widening impossibly. “Oh, you don’t know? Well, let me show you.”

She pulled down the light sheet to Rey’s upper thighs, then raised her gown up over her belly. Picking up a tube, the doctor proceeded to squirt some kind of thick, clear gel onto Rey’s slightly rounded lower abdomen. With a quick flick of a switch, the machine turned on, and Dr. Kanata took a wand-like extension and ran the tip through the gel. Ben heard nothing at first and he wished she’d just tell him what it was she was doing. Then, he heard something. A thumping sound, fast and strong, the machine making it sound somewhat tinny or mechanical. Wait. Was that … a heartbeat? His eyes grew wide in shock, his jaw falling open. Was Rey …  _ pregnant?! _

“Hear that, do you?”

Ben barely nodded, suffering through his second shock of the night. “Is that … ?”

When he didn’t finish his question, Dr. Kanata smiled sympathetically. “A baby? Yes. You’d better hold on to something.”

He noticed a second sound, fainter and right on the heels of the stronger one. “Is that an echo I’m hearing?”

“Uh, no. That’s why I said you might want to hold on to something.” The doctor moved the wand tip through the gel away from the heartbeat. On the opposite side, it sounded again. “That echo you were hearing is this one.” Seeing his look of confusion, she explained with a huge grin. “ _ Two  _ heartbeats, Mr. Solo. Twins.”

Shock number three of the night. Ben didn’t think he could handle another one. “T-Twins? A-Are you sure?”

“Quite certain. Fraternal twins from the looks of it. Would you like to see?”

“Uh, see?” Ben was certain he sounded stupid but he just couldn’t get his mind to function.

The doctor pulled the cart around to face Ben and he noticed a screen for the first time. On it was a mess of black and white. He couldn’t make sense of it. “What am I looking at?”

A small finger traced a section. “This is the head.” The finger traced another section. “Here’s the body.” The wand moved back to the other side of Rey’s stomach to the first heartbeat. Again, she pointed to the screen. “The head and the body.”

As the doctor turned off the machine and began wiping away the gel, Ben fell back against the chair, stunned. Pregnant. Twins. The two words swirled in his head so fast he felt light-headed, his gaze locked on the slight swell of Rey’s abdomen. In the next instant, he reached a hand out to touch that small swell but paused before he made contact.

“Go ahead and touch her. You’ll feel closer, more connected, to them. I believe they know your voice, having heard it from the beginning. I’d say - and I’ve been scarily accurate about this - they’re twelve weeks along, about the size of a plum.”

Twelve weeks. That meant … Rey could have become pregnant the first time they’d been together! The doctor rattled off a date of conception, again stating her uncanny ability to narrow it down so accurately. No, not their first time, then. The date she mentioned, if she was indeed correct, Rey would have conceived … that day on set! He couldn’t help but laugh, and if it came across as a little crazy, well, it had been a crazy night. Ben supposed it only fitting that their children -  _ their children  _ \- would be conceived in the same place he and Rey had met.

Tentatively, Ben lowered his hand, making contact with Rey’s soft skin, damp from remnants of the gel. Right at that moment, underneath his hand and cradled in Rey’s womb, their children were growing! Daughters? Sons? One of each? He really didn’t care as long as they were healthy. That thought had his eyes flying up to the doctor.

“Are they okay?”

“They’re perfectly fine. Do you have any questions for me?”

Ben opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “I don’t think I can think of much at the moment.”

Dr. Kanata chuckled and patted the hand lying on Rey’s stomach. “Completely understandable. You’ve received some life-changing news. It’ll hit you soon enough. I’ll be back to check in with you and her later.”

Something she’d said earlier finally clicked in his mind. “You said fraternal twins. So, they’re not identical? Are you certain?”

Her brows rose at his question. “I’m impressed, Mr. Solo. Most people have no idea what the difference is between the two.”

“Oh, well, my mom is a fraternal twin. You don’t think that increased our chances, do you?” Ben’s face burned as he realized just how stupid he sounded. “Wait. Stupid question. Never mind.”

Dr. Kanata patted his hand again with a kind smile. “It’s fine, Mr. Solo. Don’t feel embarrassed. If you have a daughter, however, you and Rey could very well pass the twin gene to her, increasing  _ her  _ chances for twins. Now, I’ll be back later.” She reached the door and turned back. “And I’m quite certain they are fraternal.”

For a few minutes, all Ben could do was sit in his chair with his hand on Rey’s stomach. Leaning close, he glanced back at the door. Still shut. He glanced up at Rey. Still asleep. Feeling somewhat foolish, he focused on the small bump in front of him.

In a soft voice, he said, “Hi. I’m your dad. I can’t wait to meet you both. I’ve only known about you for a few minutes but I love you very much. Just as much as I love your mom. The three of you are my world, my universe.” 

He brushed his lips over each area where the heartbeats had been located before returning to his chair. That’s when he realized he had people to talk to. Deciding the others could wait a little longer, Ben pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom. Sorry to wake you.”

The sleep-roughened voice turned sharp. “Benjamin? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Rey’s been in an accident. She’s okay, but she’s staying the night in the hospital.”

“Oh, my, God!” There was some frenzied movement on the other line, some muffled voices. “Benjamin, your father and I are on our way. We’ll be there within the hour.”

“Thanks, but they’ll probably release her tomorrow. Listen, there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“It doesn’t matter when they release her. Your father and I are still coming. Whatever it is that you need to say, you can say it when we get there.”

“No, it can’t wait. Mom,” Ben chuckled, euphoria over the idea beginning to set in, “Rey’s pregnant.”

All sounds stopped on the other end. If not for his mother’s rapid breathing, he’d have thought the call had dropped. “What? Pregnant? I’m getting a grandbaby?! And you’re just now telling me?! Han, we’re going to be grandparents!”

Ben laughed outright at his mother’s excited squeals. “Mom. Mom.  _ Mom! _ ” He inhaled slowly to brace himself for the next ecstatic reaction. “Grandbabies. Plural. We’re having twins.”

Just as he’d expected, this squeal was much louder, so high-pitched he had to lower the phone to save his hearing. “ _ Twins?!  _ Ben, why didn’t you tell us this sooner?!”

“I didn’t know. Honestly. I only found out because the doctor told me.”

An uncomfortable silence stretched out for a minute. “Oh. Rey didn’t tell you? She kept it from you? Are they okay?”

Ben was absolutely certain she hadn’t kept her pregnancy a secret. “I really don’t think she knew, Mom. Rey wouldn’t keep something like that from me.”

“Hmm. Unless she didn’t want - ”

Ben wasn’t about to let his mother finish that sentence. “No. You know her background. She grew up unwanted. No way would she do that to her own kids. No, this may not have been planned, but she’d want them, regardless.”

“No, you’re right, of course. Your father and I will be on our way soon. We’ll talk more about this decided lack of planning later. I know you were taught better.”

Ben rolled his eyes but it didn’t erase his broad grin nor did it dampen his spirits. “Yes, okay, Mom. See you soon.”

Hanging up, Ben stuffed the phone into his pocket. Brushing a light kiss to Rey’s brow, he then moved down to her less-flat stomach. “I’ll be right back, little ones. I promise.”

Ben’s feet barely touched the ground as he wandered through the maze of corridors to the waiting room where everyone was still waiting to hear from him. His attempt at schooling his features only dulled his megawatt smile by the tiniest of margins. He just couldn’t help it. The love he and Rey shared had created life! If that wasn’t something worth smiling about, he didn’t know what was!

The instant he stepped into the doorway, the others crowded around him. He held up his hands to forestall all the questions he could see were about to burst out of them. “Sorry it’s taken so long. Had to wait for the doc to show up and then I called my parents to tell them the news. They’ll be here within the hour.”

Rose huffed and put voice to the question everyone wanted answered. “How is Rey?”

“She’s fine. Or, will be. She’s really banged up right now. She’s resting.”

Rose’s shoulders drooped with her relief and she leaned into Finn’s embrace. “Oh, thank God.”

“Yeah, the doc said it was a miracle they survived.” That statement was met with such confusion that Ben nearly giggled.

Tage gave him an odd look, like he was trying to figure out if Ben had hit his head or something. “They? Was someone with her?”

Ben licked his lips, trying his best not to bust out into laughter, but damn, his friends weren’t making it very easy. “From a certain point of view, you could say that, yes.”

Tage’s pale blue eyes narrowed on Ben. “What are you saying?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, man, what are you getting at?”

Rose suddenly gasped, her almond-shaped eyes going wide, her hands flying to her mouth. “Oh, my God! I was right! I was right, wasn’t I? Oh, my God!” She let out a little squeal of joy.

She’d figured it out. Ben knew she had. He couldn’t hold the news in any longer. Laughing with his own euphoric happiness, he made the announcement. “Well, Tage, I guess I should have taken that bet about which of us would end up having kids first.”

Rose jumped up and down, her hands still over her mouth to help muffle her excited squeals. Phasma laughed. Finn and Tage simply gawked at him a few moments before breaking into laughter themselves. Both men came over and slapped him on the back, offering their congratulations. Right on their heels came Phasma and Rose, hugging him and congratulating him.

Ben had one more bombshell to drop on them. Nudging Tage to get his attention, Ben said with the cheekiest grin he could muster - which wasn’t difficult, “You’d better hurry up if you’re going to catch me. I’m going to be two up on you.”

Four expressions of shock stared back at him and Ben completely lost it. He laughed so hard he had to lean against the doorframe to stay upright. It took some doing, but he finally reined himself back in and found the four of them looking at him as if they believed it was all a joke.

“I’m serious, guys. Rey really is pregnant and she is carrying twins. I heard the heartbeats and saw the ultrasounds myself.”

“And they’re alright, after everything tonight?”

“Perfectly fine, Phasma. I’ll admit, it was shock number two of the night just to find out she’s pregnant. To discover she’s carrying twins, well, let’s just say I don’t think I can handle a fourth shock tonight.”

Phasma’s brow furrowed, her eyes darting between him and Rose. “Rey didn’t tell you? But … Rose said she knew.”

Rose held up her hands. “Wait. Hold on a second. I didn’t really  _ know _ . I  _ suspected _ she might be, but I didn’t know.” Rose turned to Ben, her expression imploring. “You have to believe me. Rey didn’t say anything to me. I don’t think she knew or even suspected. She would have told you.”

“It’s okay, Rose. I know she would have. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. Listen, I’m going to go back to Rey’s room. She probably won’t wake up until tomorrow but I want to be there just in case. I appreciate all of you coming and staying. Why don’t you all go home? I know it’s late.”

“We’re glad she’s fine. That’s a huge relief. Congratulations again.”

Rose gave him another hug as she passed by. “Oh, hey, how far along is she? You never said.”

“Twelve weeks is what the doc said.”

Rose  _ awwww _ ’ed and continued on. Ben didn’t wait around for everyone to have completely disappeared, fearing Rey would wake up alone. He got lost twice on the return trip and had to backtrack but he did find her room on his own. Inside, Rey still slept. Approaching her bed, he leaned close to her belly. 

“Hey, Daddy’s back. I told you I wouldn’t be gone long. I’ll never be gone for very long.”

After pressing a soft kiss there, Ben slumped down in the chair beside the bed, his long legs stretching underneath the hospital bed, his head resting on the chair back. Not the most comfortable of positions but now that the adrenaline and everything had drained away, he felt incredibly tired. Before long, his eyes closed and stayed closed.

BR

“The poor thing looks awful.”

The softly spoken voice brought Ben to drifting awareness. The hand running through his hair finished the task. Blinking blearily to clear his vision, he found his parents in the room, his mother next to him and his father on the other side of Rey’s bed, both of them taking in her bruised appearance grimly.

Rubbing eyes that felt as if they’d been scrubbed with sandpaper, Ben sat up in the chair, wincing as certain muscles protested. “Hey. How long have you been here?”

“A minute or two at the most.”

“Oh. How did you even get in here? I didn’t think they were letting anyone else in. They’re bending the rules enough just letting me stay.”

His mother merely shrugged. “The perks of being in government. It’s amazing what people will do when the patient is your future daughter-in-law.” With a bit of a smirk, she added, “And it helps when your son is a celebrity and all the nurses on the floor are a fan.” She patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry. They won’t talk.”

From his place at Rey’s other side, Han asked, “So, what the hell happened?”

As he recounted what had happened, a shudder went through him at the mere thought of retelling having to listen to her crash. He took her hand in his, the warmth of her skin a reminder that she was actually fine. It helped him get through the harrowing part of his tale. Then came his discovery.

Han leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, and smirked at his son. “Twins, huh? Your hands are going to be full.”

Leia skewered her husband with a glare and hissed, “Han!”

Han spread his arms out. “What?”

Leia’s eyes narrowed on him. “Do you or do you not remember just what we talked about before coming here?”

“Relax, Princess, I remember.” Han adopted a stern expression, holding up a single finger. “How dare you make your mother and me grandparents already? This is way too soon. Forget the fact that you’re thirty-one. Forget the fact that your mother and I have looked forward to this moment the instant you said you were bringing Rey to the ranch house. Forget the fact that she squealed and danced at the news only an hour ago. It’s too soon.”

At his father’s wink and his mother’s huff of irritation, Ben couldn’t help but chuckle. The two of them were always like that. His dad was usually the sarcastic, laid-back one, while his mum was the uptight, in need of order type. It always struck him as funny how well it worked for them. That wasn’t to say there weren’t any real fights because there were and they were doozies, but, more often than not, his mom would simply huff and roll her eyes and that would be that. Ben’s humor dissipated at his mother’s narrowed eyes. 

“I’m sure you were told to cover it if you were going to get it wet.”

Ben stared up at his mother a moment in shock at what he’d just heard. He shook his head to clear it away. What’s that, now? Shock number four? He really couldn’t take any more. Keeping his voice down, he hissed, “Mom!”

“What? You’re just lucky you didn’t knock her up the weekend you came to the ranch if you haven’t been using anything. I thought you were more sensible than that.”

Despite being thirty-one, Ben felt his face heat as if he were a teen again getting caught making out with his girlfriend. She was going to be insufferable when she learned she was practically right. He tried to keep any of that from showing on his face, but she seemed to look into his mind and get the information anyway.

With narrowed eyes, she asked, “Just how far along is she?”

Ben ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Twelve weeks.”

“So, you might as well have, then.” Leia looked up at the ceiling as if pleading for patience. 

“I thought you were excited about this.”

“Oh, Benjamin, I am, but I can’t help wondering if it really is too soon. Or, at the very least, can’t help being a bit frustrated and disappointed that you didn’t act sensibly.”

Ben held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Yeah, I suppose we should have been more responsible.” His broad smile returned. “I can’t bring myself to regret anything, though.”

“Of course, not. And you shouldn’t.” Leia ran a hand lovingly through Ben’s wavy hair. “You were and are our best accomplishment.”

Han in typical smug fashion smirked, adding, “And were a surprise to us, too, so it’s only fitting your own children do the same to you.”

Ben glanced up at his mother to find her giving her husband a pointed look that promised words would be had later. He couldn’t stop himself from poking the bear a little. “So, all that talk about not being careful was just … what?”

Brown eyes only slightly darker than his own flew back to him. “Don’t get smart with me, Benjamin.” But then, her expression softened. “It’s a parent’s prerogative to say  _ Do as I say, not as I do. _ Just wait. You’ll be saying that to your own kids soon enough.”

Ben laughed, knowing it was likely true, but it quickly turned to a yawn. Leia and Han inched toward the door, Leia saying they’d be back in the morning. “Feel free to stay at my place. You still have the key I gave you, right?”

“Of course we do. Now, get some rest. Before you know it, you won’t be getting much of it at all.”

Once they had left, Ben leaned close enough to plant two kisses on the soft swell of Rey’s belly. “Good night. I love you both. Mommy, too.”

Shifting positions, he brushed a kiss to Rey’s forehead and her lips. “I love you, sweetheart. Always.” Settling into the chair, he folded his arms on her bed, taking her right hand in his and laid his head over them, forcing himself to relax enough for sleep to claim him.

BR

Rey fought her way to consciousness, groaned hoarsely at the sudden influx of pain. She felt as if she’d been hit by a car. Her eyes flew open with a gasp as memories of the night before flooded her mind. “Ben!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy. Just relax.”

Rey turned toward the soft, soothing voice to find Leia sitting beside her, the woman’s hand on her shoulder. What was she doing here? If she was here, did that mean Han was too? Where was Ben? She needed to see him, needed to know he was okay and that he knew she was, too.

“Ben?”

Leia smiled gently and lightly clutched Rey’s hand. “Ben and Han just stepped out for some coffee. They’ll be back soon. Ben stayed here with you all night. He needed to get up and move around. He wanted to be here when you woke up, but he needed to stretch his legs a bit.”

“Oh. Okay.” He’d stayed with her  _ all night _ ? Why did that just make her feel like crying? Inexplicably, she burst into tears.

Leia instantly wrapped her arms around Rey, being extra careful of her injuries. “It’s okay, now,” she crooned softly. “You’re okay, now.”

The door opened on mostly quiet hinges but Rey couldn’t pay it any mind. She really didn’t understand why she was crying all over Ben’s mother’s shoulder, but she couldn’t seem to stop, either. The next thing she knew, the slender shoulder disappeared, only to be replaced by a much broader, muscular one. One large hand cupped the back of her head while another tenderly rubbed her back. Soft words of reassurance whispered in her ear in a sensually deep voice. A scent she’d know anywhere reached her nose, bringing a torrent of tears, her arms lifting to encircle his chest as best they could, hands clutching desperately. She’d thought she’d never see him again, would never be held by him again, or hear him murmur that he loved her after making love. 

Rey felt a light kiss pressed into her hair and had the sudden need to feel his lips on hers. Pulling one arm back, she buried her hand into Ben’s hair as she lifted her head to blindly seek out his lips. They trembled against her own and as he deepened the kiss, she could taste a saltiness, could feel a wetness not caused by her tears brushing against her cheek. Demanding yet gentle was how she’d later describe their kiss. Desperate yet lazy.

The kiss faded into nothing and Ben brokenly said, “You scared the fuck out of me, sweetheart. I came too close to losing all three of you and I didn’t even know there were three of you to lose.”

Tears still trickling down her face despite calming down, Rey studied Ben’s face in confusion. “Three? Ben, are you sure  _ you’re  _ okay? Did you hit your head or something? Maybe a doctor needs to take a look at you.”

She grew more confused when Ben simply chuckled, thumbed away her tears, then rested his hand against her stomach, his fingers splayed. “Sweetheart, I didn’t hit my head. I’m perfectly fine. The fatigue you’ve been experiencing? The hunger? It’s because you’re pregnant … with twins.”

She was what? With what? Rey dropped her gaze to his hand currently laying over the slight curve of her belly. She tentatively covered his hand with her own, not sure what to feel. Was she ready to be a mother? Her photography career had just begun to take off. She couldn’t be the kind of mother she wanted to be and be a full-time photographer at the same time. Could she even  _ be  _ a proper mother at her age? On the other hand, these were her  _ children _ . Hers and Ben’s. She’d do anything necessary for them, even putting her career on hold. How could she do otherwise?

“Rey?”

Rey dragged her gaze up to Ben. He no longer wore that beautiful, brilliant smile but was watching her guardedly, sadness in his eyes. She’d hurt him. Somehow, she’d hurt him. Under her hand, his started to slide away from her, but she grabbed it, clung to it, giving it a tight squeeze. His eyes flicked down at the gesture, but when he looked back at her, she could see it wasn’t enough to dispel the darkening light in them.

Licking her lips, Rey confessed, “I’m scared, Ben. I don’t know how to be a mother, much less a good one. What if I do something wrong? I don’t want to screw this up. Then, there’s the whole business with Wren. Not that long ago, he told me he’d take any child we had and twist him or her into his own image. That can’t happen, Ben.”

A look of utter conviction came onto his face. “First of all, you’re not alone. Remember? You and I are in this together. Second of all, you’ll be the best mother you can be. I know that for a fact.” His tender expression hardened just a little. “As for Wren, when in the hell did he contact you and why didn’t you tell me?”

Pulling her lips in, Rey fidgeted a little under Ben’s gaze. “Um, back when our engagement got out and the rumors were flying. I didn’t say anything because you needed to focus. It was an empty threat, since I wasn’t pregnant, or so I thought.”

Being extremely careful, Ben sat on the bed. “Sweetheart, never keep something like that from me. Okay? I don’t care what else I have going on. I want to know. As for when you became pregnant, if the doc is to be believed - and something tells me she is - it happened that day on the set.”

The day on set. The only time they’d ever given in to their desires while at the studio had come right after their trip to the ranch house. They’d been unable to wait any longer. Heat suffused her cheeks at the memory. “Oh.”

The door opened and the shortest woman Rey had ever seen - and considering Leia that was saying something - entered, dragging a piece of equipment behind her. “Hello, there, Rey. It’s good to see you awake. I’m Dr, Kanata. I’ve checked your paperwork and everything looks good. How are you doing?”

“Sore, but I guess that’s better than the alternative.”

Dr. Kanata positioned her machine opposite Ben, flipped a switch, nodding with a large smile and twinkling eyes. “Yes, much better than the alternative. Now, I’m sure your man here has shared what was discovered last night?” At Rey’s nod, she continued. “I thought you’d like to see and hear for yourself.”

Rey nodded enthusiastically. She very much wanted to see and hear her babies. In short order, she got to do just that. Clutching Ben’s hand, she marveled at the  _ thump thump  _ that reached her ears. Tears welled in her eyes at the sight of the roughly human-shaped blobs on the screen. There they were! The products of her and Ben’s love! A wave of fierce protectiveness swept through her right then. Wren would never get his fucked-up hands on either of her babies, even if it meant she had to hide out at home until the lunatic was caught.

The diminutive doctor threw out the importance of vitamins, getting plenty of rest, eating properly, and setting up and following through with doctor appointments. Rey barely took it in, too busy staring at the monitor and vowing to keep her children safe. There was only one way she could think of to do just that. When Dr. Kanata left, she turned to Ben, her hand tightening around his.

“You know how I’d turned down your initial request to stay with you? Well, if you were to ask  _ now _ … ”

Ben’s eyes lit up as they flicked over her face, a tentative smile on his face. “Really? You’ll move in with me?”

“Yes. Your place is well-protected, you said. Our babies need that. More than that, though, I’m ready. I want to be with you as much as I can be.”

Ben leaned his forehead against hers and smiled broadly, his free hand gently cupping her neck, his thumb brushing her jaw. “Our babies. I love the sound of that. We’ll get you moved today. I’ll take you straight home. Mom can stay with you while Dad and I will pack up your stuff and bring it over. Oh, and a word of warning, when I told Mom about the babies, she squealed like a little kid.”

A nurse entered with paperwork in hand. “Here’s your discharge papers. If you’ll sign at the bottom, then you can go.’ Rey took the pen and signed. “Take care of yourself and the little ones. Congratulations.”

Ben handed her a pair of loose lounge pants and shirt. “Here. Once you’re dressed, we’ll head out.”

Very gingerly, Rey climbed out of bed and shuffled her way to the bathroom a few steps away. It took much longer than she really wanted to get the clothes on, but she eventually managed. She felt like one huge bruise and was surprised she wasn’t completely purple. Finished, she stepped out to find Ben with a wheelchair, his parents standing to either side of him, beaming. Leia crossed the short distance and gently took Rey’s hands.

“I’ll be here every step of the way. Anytime you need me, all you have to do is ask. I couldn’t have picked a better girl for my son if I’d tried.”

The sentiment touched Rey deeply, bringing tears to her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

From beside Ben, Han quipped, “Great going, Princess. You made her cry. Ben, are you certain you want to leave Rey with your mother?”

With a soft smile, Leia continued to watch Rey. “Hormones. They’ll be out of whack for a while.” Though she never looked away, she addressed her next comment to the men. “Best get used to it. It’ll only get worse.”

At their groans, Leia winked, pulling joyful laughter from Rey. She never would have guessed how important these four people would become to her. Moving across the country had been the best thing she’d ever done.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
